Chapter Text
After a period of time, immeasurable by Tommy’s hazy mind, they arrived at the cottage. With a gentle hand on Tommy’s back, Phil led him to the fireplace and replaced the bandages covering his arms that had been torn to shreds during the explosions. Underneath the dirt were various injuries, some newer than others. Phil didn’t ask. Tommy didn’t tell. He didn’t seem ready to explain the bruised skin on his upper arms and chest, or the scabs on his knuckles that were still healing over, or the skin scratched raw along his forearms.
Tommy was clean, physically. He didn’t feel clean, not on the inside, not after today. It was like the ash he had inhaled would live on in him forever in place of the person he used to be, but he was free from the grime that had covered his skin, free from the body that had stood numb as his home had been taken from him once again.
For the first time in months, he had new clothes, free of tears, suited for the weather outside, and not belonging to his dead older brother. His hair, which had grown long in exile, was fixed in a short ponytail by a lapis beads. Dream had offered to cut it, but Tommy had refused. The thought of letting that man touch him prickled his skin.
He should be happy, but the numbness had returned shortly after he stepped out from the warm water of the bath, away from the careful hands of his father, and the cautious gaze of his oldest brother.
Without their presence, he couldn't hold down his thoughts. He couldn't grasp his surroundings. This didn't feel real.
A knock at his door brought Tommy back to reality. He had a door now. He realized. No one could just walk into his sleeping quarters anymore. He could choose to be alone, because alone wasn’t the default anymore.
“Uh, come in.” Tommy tried to make his voice loud and clear, but smoke and disuse were not on his side.
“How you holdin’ up Tommy?”
“I’m not sure.” Something inside said the answer was a hard no, but the events of the past, not just day, but months, had left his words detached from his thoughts.
“Hmm, I don't think i'm much for comfortin’, but I can be honest and say a new cloak and outfit won’t change the past, Tommy, trust me, I would know.”
Tommy pondered a response, a way to explain himself to what could be assumed to be the emotional equivalent of a brick wall.
“I just- I can’t help but wonder why... why Dream- Why- why me Techno? Why have I always got to end up here?”
“Here? This is the first time you’ve been to my house.”
“Well- not technically the f-first-”
“What?”
“But that’s not what I mean! I mean here as in at the mercy of s-someone else! Someone is always there to push me around. Dream, Schlatt, Wilbur even, and Tubbo- he’s my best friend, but he’s also p-president now, and he exiled me! He didn’t visit me when- well, and anyway, now it’s you and Phil. I’m still waiting for you to send me away too! You’ve just given me this cloak and these new sh-shoes while you bide your time waiting to knock me down a peg just like everybody else. I know i’m irresponsible and reckless, I know I need to listen, I know i’m not a hero, I know nobody really cares about me. I get it!” He lowered his head into his hands. Finally he said in a quiet voice, “I’ve learned.” It had all just broken loose, a flood from a dam that couldn’t hold back the tide any longer. There was still so much he couldn’t bring himself to say.
Technoblade listened carefully, absorbing his brother’s words. This wasn’t the same brother who had been exiled, or who had walked into Techno’s vault, eyes full of wonder, or who had last sat on that bench with his best friend, disc gently spinning on its turntable.
“Tommy, Phil and I aren’t going to send you away.”
“Y-you’re not?”
“We didn’t save you from Dream just so you can die out in the snow. Look, I don’t know what Dream did before the whole blowing up your camp thing, but whatever he told you was probably a lie. There’s no lesson worth learning that ends with you the way you are now.”
“I still don’t get why? And Dream? Is it wrong to miss him? Why would he do this? None of this makes sense, it’s all…” He shook his head “It’s all foggy. They say you’re supposed to come out the other side with clarity- I haven’t got that at all!”
“That’s because you’re not out the other side, Tommy. First off, Dream’s crazy. It won’t help tryin’ to make sense of what he did today, or any day. People, the world, it doesn’t always come together to make sense. If you want a reason why you’re here, you’re gonna have to make one. I don’t have your answers, neither will anyone else. This kind of ordeal can damage you, irreparably, I know. You’re bending Tommy, but I don’t think you’re gonna break.”
“What if I’ve already broken?” Tommy looked to his brother with those hollow eyes, vast and empty like the sky above.
Technoblade did something he hadn’t done for a long time, and gently pulled his brother into a hug, moving slow as not to startle him. “We’ll glue the pieces back together. All of us, together, okay?”