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Alec looked at Talia and chewed the inside of his cheek. “Nope.” He shook his head, “No.”
“Alec, you can’t wiggle out of this. He’s fourteen.” Talia said firmly, her arms folded in the ‘I’m serious!’ pose that had Alec cringing.
“Tal…” He begged with his eyes, “You’ve done it once… Why not….”
“Nooooooo.” Talia grinned at him. He couldn’t shake the feeling it was more like she was baring her teeth than smiling right now. “I had to give Laura the birds and the bees talk, you get to tell Derek.”
Alec grimaced and recoiled away. “He’s a baby!”
“He’s FOURTEEN.”
“Oh my god Tal he’s still my baby!! I don’t want to think about him… Or someone… And that they…” With each unfinished sentence his face became more and more traumatized. But Talia was holding firm on this one. She had to go through it with Laura, she’ll have to go through it with Cora. By GOD Alec was going to give the talk to Derek and Eric or ELSE.
“Nut up Alec.” Talia snapped at him, turning on her heel and calling outside, “DEREK! YOUR DAD NEEDS TO SEE YOU!”
Alec sat heavily at the kitchen table and pressed his hands into his face. Ok. He could do this. What had his dad told him. Nothing. He had nothing. He remembered nothing of that talk because the horror and embarrassment had made his ears ring. Alec was also pretty sure he was struck with temporary blindness because his dad had had diagrams and a powerpoint presentation. My god… Don’t remember that!! He tells himself.
“Dad?” Derek asked worriedly, sitting next to him looking so young and earnest. “Dad are you crying?”
“…Not yet.” Alec says honestly and smiles at his son.
Derek, bless him, smiles back, his usual bright smile. It stabs right through Alec’s heart that he has to give his son the talk because he’s beautiful, and perfect. And girls are going to break their hearts all over him and he wants him to be safe and stay happy… And he is not ready for this. He wouldn’t even meet half the girls, not like poor Laura who put up with his shenanigans when she brought home boys.
His heart welling up with emotion, Alec pulls Derek into a tight hug. “I love you so much son.”
Derek gripped his Dad’s shirt and shivered, “Dad are you dying!??!”
Alec leans back, “What? No. Well technically yes but not right now. Well not really right now. Ok just a little… Because you’re growing up. You’re becoming a man.”
As if those words were a huge air raid siren of a signal for impending horribly traumatizing and awkward talk; Derek’s face went white and his eyes wide. “Oh no Dad.”
“And being a man has responsibilities.” Alec says seriously, tightening his hug because Derek was going to try and get away. Oh well. If he has to do this, he will do it his way!
“Dad. Dad no. Dad stop. Please. Let’s. I can learn this on the streets.” Derek whines, sounding panicked as he tries to get free of his Dad’s arms.
With the struggle intensifying, Alec gets his legs around Derek too, the pair of them ending up in a struggling mass on the kitchen floor, Derek flailing and trying to break free without breaking his dad and Alec holding on like an octopus!
“And as a man, when you meet a girl - or boy in this day and age! who you think is really pretty….” Alec intones lovingly.
Derek makes a desperate struggle to get free and yells at the top of his lungs, “DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!”