Work Text:
"Wright, this is positively ridiculous," Edgeworth complained for what seemed like the fiftieth time since they arrived.
Gatewater Land was having a grand re-opening since ownership passed from the esteemed entrepreneur Ernest Amano (now esteemed criminal) to some eccentric multi-millionaire hoping to expand his fortune.
After a lengthy one-sided conversation, Edgeworth reluctantly agreed to go with Phoenix Wright but only because the attorney looked so pitiful when he told Edgeworth that he did not wish to go all on his own.
"Maya is in Kurain and Larry is going with Shanique and I don't wanna go all by myself," Phoenix whined as Edgeworth attempted to focus on his work. "Please, Edgeworth. You're not doing anything else."
Edgeworth shuddered as he recalled the two hour long argument which consisted of Wright repeated himself, Edgeworth attempting to get work done, and Wright wandering around the office picking up his things and asking a barrage of questions.
Once Edgeworth had agreed to go with Wright to the grand re-opening, there was no turning back. After all, a gentleman keeps his word. And it's not like he had any work to do anyway.
"Ooh! The haunted house!" Phoenix exclaimed eagerly. "They've completely redone it and we have to see it! Come on, Edgeworth."
Edgeworth raised his index finger and motioned towards Phoenix. "I don't exactly have good memories of the place, Wright."
At that, Phoenix began to grin widely and asked in a low tone, "You're not scared, are you, Edgeworth?"
The prosecutor crossed his arms and tapped his finger against the upper limb in thought.
"No. Of course not. And don't think a statement such as that will get me to go into that building. It's simply not happening. It's bad enough I had to come to this horrid park in the first place."
Phoenix laughed and Edgeworth felt his cheeks redden in response. That was certainly not the reaction he was expecting.
"Come on, Edgeworth. Just walk into the damn house," Phoenix said obviously irritated then continued in a tone which had a bit too much amusement for Edgeworth's liking, "I promise you won't get kidnapped."
The prosecutor sighed and began walking reluctantly past Phoenix and towards the sad excuse of an amusement park attraction. Phoenix followed after him with a newfound spring in his step.
People went into the haunted house in groups led by a guide. Phoenix and Edgeworth found themselves in a group of five led by a young male guide. The haunted house had fewer mirrors than it did before which pleased the picky prosecutor as he took in his surroundings. The lights flickered dramatically and there was what could pass as blood splatter on the walls.
In another room, the sound of a woman screaming and a door slamming caused a few of the other group members discomfort. The guide urged them to move forward and Phoenix motioned for Edgeworth to walk alongside him.
"Scared yet, Edgeworth?" Phoenix whispered.
"Hardly," he replied.
As they approached the room from which the scream was heard, the guide asked for one of the unfortunate souls in the group to open the door. A lady in the group protested with an "uh uh" and her husband did not jump to volunteer either. Sighing deeply, Edgeworth raised his hand.
"I'll do it," the prosecutor spoke dryly.
He approached the door and placed his hand on the doorknob. The lady whispered to her husband, "he's so brave," which caused the prosecutor shake his head and turn the knob.
A woman's corpse was sprawled across the floor face down. She appeared to be wearing a white nightgown and her dark hair concealed her face. From the back of the group, a young man's voice protested, "No fucking way am I going in there."
Edgeworth walked right into the room along with the guide and Phoenix followed behind them. Soon after, when the other party members realized the corpse would not jump at them, the entire group was in the room.
About a foot away from the body, an outline of a corpse was drawn in chalk. The tour guide directed their attention towards it and confided, "That's strange. I could have sworn she was killed over here."
The guide turned and continued, "but now the body is over here."
Everyone turned to look all at once at the woman's corpse and found that it was missing. "Where did it go?" the woman in the group asked to no one in particular. Then as she realized what she said she asked in a more terrified tone, "Oh, god. Where did it go?"
"I wanna get out of here," the man in the back panicked.
Edgeworth sighed and glared at Phoenix coldly. Why was he doing this again? Oh, right. Gentleman.
The guide forced them through other rooms in the house that included creepy music, television sets with horrifying videos made by dead little girls, bloody footprints that made their way up the walls and onto the ceiling... Cliché after cliché. Edgeworth could not for the life of him wait until they got out of that not-so-haunted house.
The guide stopped and clapped his hands together, "Alright, guys. I hope you enjoyed the show. Before you leave my house, my friend has a gift for you."
Edgeworth raised an eyebrow but no objections. He was just glad this thing was over and done with. He relaxed a little and was starting to feel calm already.
The prosecutor felt a hand on his shoulder.
"AAAAARGH!" Edgeworth jumped and grabbed tightly onto the waist of the person closest to him.
A badger, the Blue Badger to be exact, was standing there holding a dozen balloons. The badger motioned in his weird badger way at Edgeworth, the freakish badger grin that could only have been meant to resemble the devil itself. At least, that is what Edgeworth had said later on.
The balloon was offered to Phoenix who gladly took one as he smiled down to gloat at the prosecutor whose arms were still tightly wrapped around him. Once all the balloons had been handed out, the badger bid adieu, and Edgeworth felt he could finally loosen his grip on the attorney.
"Edgeworth, you didn't get a balloon," Phoenix grinned cheerfully.
Through clenched teeth the prosecutor muttered back, "shut up."
Exiting the house and back into the amusement park, Phoenix laughed loudly at the prosecutor whose cheeks were now as red as his jacket.
"You... You didn't get scared.... The whole time..." Phoenix gasped between laughter. "You should've seen your face!"
Edgeworth crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for Phoenix to stop laughing. After a few seconds, Edgeworth sighed, "I'm going home."
"No, don't!" Phoenix pleaded, his laughter stopping as abruptly as it began. "There's tons of other stuff to see and I don't--"
"Want to be alone. Yes, you've said this before. I don't care. Enjoy the festivities without me."
With that, Edgeworth began walking towards the exit. Phoenix ran after him and said, "Wait. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed at you like that."
Edgeworth turned to see Wright genuinely upset about his actions. Until he grinned and continued, "But I couldn't help it. It was too cute."
The prosecutor flinched at Phoenix's choice of words. "Cute?"
"Yeah, it was adorable," Phoenix confirmed Edgeworth's fears in seven syllables.
The stoic expression, the volunteering to open doors and walk into rooms first... And yet his demeanor was being described as "cute" and "adorable." Phoenix frowned as the expression on Edgeworth's face went from shocked to downcast.
"Is there something wrong with cute?"
"Ah. Just wasn't the look I was going for."
Phoenix laughed softly. "No matter what you do, Edgeworth... I'm always gonna find you cute."
"Phoenix?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm a little concerned. Something you want to tell me?"