Chapter Text
“Name, age, and height please”
Wilhelm took a deep breath, it had been a long time since the last time he’d had to do this.
“Wilhelm, 16, 178cm.”
“Surname please. For the tape”
Shit. How to answer? “I don’t use one.”
He could see the three faces opposite him wrinkle, as if, oh god, here’s another pretentious idiot, thinks he’s unique. Quick, how to fix it? He really needed this job.
“I divorced my parents, I don’t use their name.”
Even though he’d practiced it, and even though it was the truth, it was horrible being forced to say it. Having to admit that he was so unlovable that his parents only wanted him for what he could do for them. He knew there were parents who bent over backwards for their kids, you could see them in the park, at school gates, in shops. Parents and their kids who actually liked each other, didn’t try to rip them off all the time, squeeze every molecule of value out of them, until they felt totally objectified and forced to cut them off.
He’d given them so many chances, couldn’t believe his fellow cast members could afford a new car or fancy holiday, when he was barely getting enough for a pizza once a month. It took a long time to realise he had been tricked. When they had said, ‘saving the rest’, he had thought they meant in actual savings products, not so-called assets like their clothes, their jewellery, their trips. He’d been so excited to get the new huge TV at Christmas, never realising that he could have bought the same TV every month with what he was earning. But they stole from him. Brutal words. For, it turned out, brutal people.
The team opposite conferred for a moment, “Well, pick a new name then.” The older man seemed exasperated.
The woman was more gentle, “Honey, you need two names for a passport, and I’m sure you want to travel don’t you? Go to Hollywood maybe?”
Shit, why hadn’t his lawyer covered this?
“Josefsson, Wilhelm Josefsson.” Was it too creepy? Picking his dead brother’s name for his own? No, it might even help to deal with the grief.
“Very well, Mr Josefsson, have you prepared a speech for us? Or shall we just get on with the audition piece?”
-*- *-
Fortunately, the character he was hoping to portray was an anxious, insecure young man, a prince in fact, who had a poor relationship with his parents, the Queen and Duke of Sweden. Chewing his cheek, and hesitating over his words and then rushing them was, fortunately, completely in his comfort zone.
The character also had to be somewhat sporty, somewhat aloof, and then the hardest part, totally in love. Since this was something he had never known, even the love of his family, he had relied on his favourite movies and shows to try to get the experience. He had been emotionally stirred, from time to time, by poetry and books, but for showing love, surely he needed romantic films. And so he had studied the love films that made the top ten lists.
Mostly, he just didn’t get it - Titanic grated particularly, sure the rich girl fell for the beautiful, poor but kind boy, who really saw her in a way the rich arseholes didn’t. Who wouldn’t choose Leo! But why didn’t she sacrifice a few inches on the stupid raft so he didn’t have to die? Huge plot hole. The Sound of Music was a bit better, the rich guy fell for the beautiful, poor but kind gal, who really saw him in a way the rich bitches didn’t. Beauty and the Beast, the rich boy was so mean he was turned into a beast, and then fell for the beautiful, poor but kind gal, who really saw him in a way which no-one else did. They were all Cinderella, but he didn’t learn anything about love. Or how to portray it.
He didn’t know any adults in his real life who even looked like they loved each other - most couples he knew seemed to have a hard time even tolerating the other’s presence. Celebrity couples were useless, sometimes they showed passion, but devoted love? Through thick and thin? Nope. There was the odd TV show, Ross pining for Rachel, and then Rachel pining for Ross, maybe. Jim and Pam? Nick and Charlie, of course.
Maybe it wouldn’t be too much longer till he really felt love.
-*- *-
Wilhelm was curled up on Felice’s bed. He wasn’t supposed to be in there with her with the door closed, her parents had insisted on that when he first moved in nearly a year before. But her parents were out at some event, probably with Wilhelm’s parents, and no doubt they’d plead for Wilhelm to go home again, like last time. But that wasn’t home anymore. It never really had been, definitely not since Josef was there.
“Why haven’t they called? I haven’t got it, I know it!” His feeble voice matched his pathetic posture.
Felice put down her make-up palette and brushes, and swivelled in her seat. Then noticing just how small he looked, she jumped up and ran over, as if she was going to jump on him and squash him, like they’d been doing since they were little. Instead at the last second, she shimmied into the space between his shoulders and knees, and put her arms around him. He lifted his neck so her arm could pillow his head. It was a posture they were both accustomed to.
“You’re perfect for it. You know you are. You can do moody arrogant shit, and desperate but sincere loser, and lovesick teen. They’ll cast you for sure.”
His head burrowed out from its shelter to check her eyes for truth or bullshit. Satisfied for a moment, he stretched out, and they lay side by side, face to face.
“Are you going to do the girl audition? You should you know, you’re a great actress.”
“Maybe. I’ll have to sneak out for it though. I think Mamma would be OK with it once I’ve been cast. Or rather, if, I get cast.”
Wilhelm was about to offer some words of reassurance when his phone rang. It was in his back pocket and he wriggled and twisted trying to reach it. It was an unknown number.
“Hello? Wilhelm Josefsson here.”
-*- *-
“Mamá, it says they are looking for a tall, strong, wholesome sort of love interest for the prince, not someone like me.”
“Nonsense, mi amor. They are just looking for two people with good chemistry. They’ve got your head shot, and you’re invited to the preliminary audition. It says so, right there.” Linda leaned across his screen and stabbed at it with her no-nonsense nails. “They’ll probably think you are so marvellous that they rewrite the character. There is no reason why Prince Lars can’t fall for a feisty Latino like you. They might even make your voice a key part of the attraction, like the Little Mermaid.”
“But then I’d have to give up my voice to win him over. That’s a terrible story.”
“Well maybe they’ll only get to make this one season. Who knows. But you’ll be brilliant.”
Linda’s confidence in the endless skills and adorability of her only son was well known. But Simon was less confident. Growing up in his town as the only brown kid in school had been tough, and he’d relied on his two friends, and his voice to get him though. His successful boyband had been amazing, though he sometimes regretted not finishing school, but the career in music seemed to have dried up. It was time to start something new. Confident he could easily pass for 16, Linda had sent in his headshots without his knowledge – the first he knew about it was right now, being invited to audition.
“Ok, ok. What should I wear?”
“Maybe that Mickey Mouse t-shirt, to help take a couple of years off you.”
He nodded. Trust in Mamá, she always knows what’s best.
-*- *-
Wilhelm was excited to get the call-back. He was very early, and had read everything he could find about Prince Lars, the character he was most hoping to be asked to play, which was almost zero. He’d researched the previous projects of the director, producers and writers, and was increasingly confident that he could do what they wanted.
“So Wilhelm, we are going to try a few chemistry tests with actors we are considering playing Joshua, the Prince’s love interest. You’ll be playing Prince Lars, but if we don’t find the right pair for the roles, we will still consider you for one the minor characters. OK?” Martin finally looked up from his screen, to check that Wilhelm was still there and listening.
Wilhelm nodded eagerly. He’d already memorised the lines they had given him twenty minutes before, and was ready to play either Lars or Joshua, when the first possible Joshua came in. They did a slightly awkward fist bump, and started the first scene, where the two characters are both disappointed and hurt. It wasn’t convincing, he could tell that this other guy was far too bold, didn’t seem to understand that Joshua was an underdog. The second and third possible Joshuas weren’t much better. And all of them were awful with the gentle, loving scene. He was beginning to think that the common element was himself. Were they getting those guys to play off against other princes somewhere?
Suddenly, the door was flung open and a petite, dark-haired, golden-skinned, dark-eyed beauty rushed in.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, the bus got stuck. I’m sorry, but I’m ready.” The guy searched around at everyone as if wanting to make sure that his apology had reached everyone who mattered.
Fuck. That’s Simon Eriksson, from the band who opened for Justin Bieber at the concert that he, Josef and Felice had attended when they were only eleven. That’s Simon Eriksson who has won music awards, and whose voice has helped him fall asleep, and cry, and party, and well everything. His own acting career so far was nothing compared to Simon Eriksson’s music career. Instantly, he resolved, this was the one. He was going to play Prince Lars and Simon Eriksson was going to play Joshua. Had to. With his heart thumping in his throat, he offered a fist bump and a ‘hej’, and got the same back. But accompanied with the sweetest, most genuine, yet hesitant smile that ever existed. Simon’s white teeth glistened behind the freshly licked lips. Shit. He’s even more gorgeous in real life.
The scene involved Joshua following Lars into a room, and Lars having to ask Joshua to delete their intimate messages as everything had changed for the prince after his brother’s death. The relationship was over. It was a painful scene – Lars needed to show he was torn up about it, and Joshua that he was desperately hurt and didn’t want to believe it.
They nailed it. Wilhelm was absolutely certain, from ten seconds in, that he and Simon could make the chemistry fizz. Joshua’s reaction, as played by Simon, was so much more convincing than the other Joshuas that it elevated his own performance, and he knew this was by far the best version of this scene. A hundred times better.
“Great. Take five minutes. Everyone reset.” Martin and the other adults all mumbled and nodded vigorously to each other.
Simon seemed to shake himself out of the role, and apologised to Wilhelm for being late again.
“Can’t believe I nearly fucked it up already. I need this job. It’s going to be huge.”
Wilhelm tried to hide his surprise. Surely a superstar like Simon didn’t really need to work, couldn’t he just write more music, or set up a tour or something. Simon read his expression and laughed.
“You recognised me, I could tell.” He shrugged his shoulders, “And yes, I still need this work. The music thing is, is, well…” he stopped.
Wilhelm wanted to fill the awkwardness, but also wanted to avoid gushing. Massive fail. “You’re brilliant, I love your music, and the way you dance, it’s… we even saw you perform. Years ago. You were amazing.” Then immediately realised that stating someone’s heyday was years before was not exactly a compliment. He blushed.
Simon saw the blush, and smiled, reassuringly. “They were great days, and now they’re over and it’s time for something new. Something fresh.”
The kind woman called out, “OK, now guys, come sit on the sofa here.” She glanced through the script, but then put it down. “How about you improvise together? OK?”
They looked at each other, and slowly both nodded, their smiles rising simultaneously.
“OK, you’re hiding out, escaped from a noisy um, classroom, to get to know each other. Here, Simon take this book. It’s a private space. You are both keen, but it’s still really new, tentative. Neither of you have said any loving words or anything yet, but you can both feel, or at least hope, the other is interested. OK? Questions?”
Again, they looked at each other closely, and both slowly shook their heads, the smiles rising again.
Simon took his place on the sofa, Wilhelm sat, then got up from it, Simon watched him carefully.
Martin called out ‘action’.
“Mind if I join you?” Prince Lars approaches the sofa.
Joshua looks up from his book and merely nods, but as soon as Lars turns to sit, Joshua’s eyes look anxiously side to side to see who else might have seen. Satisfied there is no-one, he returns to his book. Lars leans in to see the pages, and then pulls himself upright again, showing that he was struggling with what else he can say to get some attention from Joshua.
“Good book?”
Joshua sighs, as if impatient, “It’s OK. It’s the text for English. I’m trying to read ahead, but my English isn’t so great.”
Lars pronounces, “She sells seashells on the seashore.”
“What the, the hell was that?” Joshua subconsciously closes the book; he wants to prolong the conversation too.
“It’s an English tongue twister; my brother taught me it. Like, ‘She slits the sheet she sits on’.” He is earnest and encourages Joshua to try it. When he falls in the inevitable shit-hole, they both burst out laughing, mock-biffing each other, and Lars takes the opportunity of the laughter resolving to move closer into Simon, um, Joshua. He sighs, (Lars, not Wilhelm), and nestles the back of his head onto Joshua’s shoulder. After a moment’s stiff hesitation, Joshua leans his head in too. And then, then he wriggles his fingers before wiggling them into Lars’ palm. Lars widens his eyes, before allowing their fingers to weave together properly. And then both thumbs begin to stroke.”
“Cut!”
-*- *-
“Sorry about the tongue twister, I knew it was a trap for people who hadn’t practiced it for the many hours my brother, my actual brother, not Lars’ brother, although Lars does have a brother...”
Simon interrupted, “No! No don’t apologize, I think it worked really well for the scene. Though I think they got rather more Simon than Joshua for a few seconds!”
Wilhelm quickly offered comfort, “You were brilliant, and it was all totally fine. I really want this job too. I’m, um… I need the work too.”
Simon looked puzzled for a split second then smiled encouragingly, “Tell me the rude one again, it’s a good party trick.”
Wilhelm was delighted to slow it right down for Simon to practise and within a few seconds they were laughing together. Martin called them over a few minutes later.
“I know this is unusual, but um, guys, do you have any feedback on each other? Wilhelm? Can you see Simon as Joshua?”
Wilhelm was very surprised to be consulted; this had never happened at any audition ever before. But then, he hadn’t been considered for the lead before. Did his opinion count for anything?
“I think Simon is perfect as Joshua, I am confident we can, um Lars would find him, um. Yeah. Great.”
Simon smiled at Wilhelm’s fluster. “Obviously, I think Wilhelm would be an amazing prince, but I think you knew that already.”
“Ok, gentlemen. We have a lot to think about, and maybe some rewriting to do, but Lisa and Rojda seem to believe in you two. We’ll be in touch.”
-*- *-
Suddenly, the room which had been teeming with people emptied out.
“Would you like to um, you’re probably busy, but maybe we could, um, go, together I mean, to, um..”
Simon twinkled at Wilhelm. “If you’re asking if I’m hungry and could we get lunch together, then yes. I’m hungry. I’m always hungry!”
Wilhelm shook his head out, his soft hair flopping back and forth. “Yes, sorry. It suddenly sounded like I was asking you on a date, which would be really weird.” He ran his fingers through his hair which made absolutely no difference to how it immediately fell back the same.
“Would it? Ah, ok. Not-a-date-lunch then. Got it.”
Wilhelm crunched up his nose. “I’m not always so awkward, I promise.”
Simon smiled again, “No, clearly, put a camera in front of you and you are totally at ease.”
Wilhelm picked up his bag and started to tie his fleece round his hips. “I can be anyone then. Second home to me, in a studio. Well almost first home actually, more at home here than at home. That doesn’t make sense. Sorry.”
They knocked shoulders going through the door, both took a look at the lift and continued on to the stairs.
“Since I’m going to google you when I get home, why don’t you tell me your version of what I’m going to find.”
Wille frowned, his online presence was not a happy one but he tried to perk up, this was his chance to make a different first impression. “It’s not that complicated really, I’ve been acting since I was five, almost eight years in a TV drama. Some voice work, the Swedish dub of a bunch of American films, a couple of tiny roles in tiny-budget local productions. But I’ve never played the lead before.”
Simon nodded thoughtfully. “And, you don’t have to tell me, of course you don’t, we met five minutes ago, but um, you need the work? You’re a kid.”
Wilhelm interrupted, “It was easily an hour ago actually.” Then decided to actually answer, rather than attempt to distract. “I, um, I don’t live with my parents, I live with my friend, Felice, and her parents. It’s not ideal, but it’s better than before.”
Simon was clearly mystified, “But what about your brother? Who taught you the tongue twister?” Simon looked full of concern. Was anyone in any danger?
Wilhelm debated for a moment, took a breath and shrugged. “Josef died, two years ago. When we were fourteen.”
Simon was visibly stunned, it was the last thing he expected. “Shit, bro, I’m so sorry. I was being nosy, I didn’t… I hope you didn’t feel you had to…” He squared up to Wilhelm, turning them face to face in the doorway. “Genuinely, I’m really sorry for mentioning it. I hate the intrusion into my private life, and I’ve done exactly the same to…”
Wilhelm interrupted him again, “It’s public information. Don’t worry about it. He had cancer, sick for two years, I hardly saw him. And he was, just, um, one of the ones who didn’t get better. I’m over it.”
Simon pulled a face, “I’m gonna let that go.” Absolutely no chance he was over the death of his brother in two years. He didn’t let go of Wilhelm’s arm though. “I, er, you said, ‘we were fourteen’, was he your, your twin?”
Wilhelm nodded. Took another big breath. “Identical.”
Simon pulled his arm tighter round Wilhelm’s elbow and they turned to walk on, out of the building and left onto the street. It appeared they had lost the momentum to eat. They just walked side by side, on and on, neither of them seeming really to decide which direction.
Eventually, as always in Stockholm, they reached the water. There was a bench and with eyebrows and nods they agreed to sit - they were still arm in arm. “The water looks beautiful today. I always like this time in Spring, chilly mornings so you don’t know whether you need a coat or not, and then by midday it’s bright and the water sparkles and dances. It feels like everything is testing the water, the birds, the um, whatever other creatures like the water…”
It made Wilhelm laugh, “You have no idea what creatures like the water, do you?”
Simon chuckled and shook his head, admitting ignorance. “No, I was firmly an indoors boy: music, video games. I do have fish though, kept them alive for three years, though they did have to move back home with my mamá when I lost my apartment.”
“How did you lose an apartment?” Wille imagined the word like losing a hat, or losing his footing, both of which were extremely familiar to him.
“Ran out of money!” Simon said simply. “The band split, I’ve tried a few solo projects, but they’re not getting much traction.”
“But you’re brilliant, we saw you when you opened for Bieber, we loved you.” Wilhelm blushed when he realised he’d gushed again.
Simon twinkled in response. “Thanks, always a pleasure to meet a fan!” He got up and went to the water’s edge, finding a stone to skim, turning it over and over. Wilhelm followed and also got busy with the stones.
As Simon crouched low and sent the first one skipping across the surface he added, “It’s tough, I won’t deny it, to feel washed up at twenty-one. To feel the best is behind me.”
Wilhelm murmured sympathetically.
“It feels like, like this part, Joshua I mean, could be really exciting again, could be something new and yet it’s still performing, sort of. Not to an arena or anything, but it’s a new skill. Shows some versatility. Might be the start of something.” He threw another stone. “If I get it.”
Wilhelm hesitated, debating whether to praise and flatter again, but decided against it.
Simon stood, dusted imaginary dirt off his hands. “And if don’t, at least I’ve made a new friend.” At Wilhelm’s surprise he added, “I mean, aren’t we friends now? We’ve exchanged some really private, intimate details, I figure that makes us friends? Doesn’t it?”
Wilhelm beamed his answer, and nodded, thoroughly.
Simon added, “Come on, my Abuela lives not far away, she’ll feed us.”
“I can’t go imposing on your grandma!”
“She’d be furious if she knew I was this close and hungry and didn’t go see her. And probably even more annoyed if I didn’t drag you along too. Come on. I’ll race you.”
It was immediately apparent that Wilhelm’s ridiculously long legs could easily outpace Simon, but he had the disadvantage of having no clue which way to go. Simon let him way overshoot the left turn, and got ahead again, but they ended up at the intercom for the apartment block at the same time. More or less. Simon jabbered in Spanish and moments later the buzzer released the door. He pulled Wilhelm inside just as a door opened on the ground floor.
Simon grabbed at his Abuela, hugging her tightly, and lifting her off her feet. She flapped and bashed at him, laughing. There followed more rapid Spanish, but Wilhelm recognised his name and a moment later he was also being pulled into a busty hug. It was unnerving as he was very unused to physical affection from his own family members, to be immediately accepted by someone else’s family was astonishing.
Greetings over, they entered the small apartment. It was cosy, two armchairs facing a TV and fireplace woodburner, with photographs in frames on every surface and most of the wall space. There were trinkets and treasures, nothing was co-ordinated or matching - it looked like the sort of home Wilhelm had only ever seen on TV.
Abuela had gone to the fridge and was pulling out plasticware and foil-covered dishes. The oven was turned on, and things tipped into pans and ovenware, all of it accompanied by rapid Spanish and laughter. Simon pulled out a chair for Wilhelm and then gave him a few sweet potatoes and a peeler. He was shaking his head but smiling at Abuela as she passed each of them an apron to put on.
Abuela pointed and said in English, “You cut small, yes? Square.” Wilhelm understood perfectly while Simon explained that Abuela had a better command of English than Swedish, which was not ideal, but she didn’t have much reason to go out locally, and she did watch a lot of American TV.
Wilhelm was just marvelling at the affection between Simon and his grandmother, and trying to remember when he’d last even seen any of his grandparents, when his phone vibrated. He’d switched the ringer off for the audition, but luckily not to total mute, or he wouldn’t have known that the studio was calling.
Almost involuntarily, he stood and twiddled with a bit of loose potato skin nearby. Simon stepped nearer but then turned away as if not wanting to pry. After a few moments, Wilhelm beamed, “That’s wonderful, yes, I definitely accept.” Simon launched himself across the room, and swept Wilhelm into a big hug.
“I, um, Simon is with me, right beside me actually, if there is, um, anything, you…” he tailed off, realising that if it was negative that this would now be horribly embarrassing. Fortunately, Martin was also giving Simon positive news. They put the phone on speaker, Abuela looking more and more confused with their excitement, but smiling anyway.
“We’ve decided to rewrite Joshua somewhat, he’ll be the star of the school choir, and we’re renaming him Josué. We’re open to other backstory ideas.” Simon clearly tried to contain his excitement, and have a sensible conversation, but with Wilhelm’s enthusiasm falling out of every pore, it became more and more difficult.
Eventually, Martin had finished talking and they hung up the call. Abuela wanted to know every detail, and at first they tried to explain in slow and careful Swedish, but Simon lapsed into Spanish, and Wilhelm sat back and watched, again marvelling at the relationship between them. They seemed to reach a conclusion and Simon explained, “She wants to invite my mamá and my sister to come and eat here this evening, make a party of getting this far.”
“Of course, of course. You should be celebrating with your family. I can just get an Uber.”
Simon frowned and shook his head, “You think Abuela is going to let you leave, without eating, not join the celebration? I told her, you’re the reason I got this part, I would never have done it without you.”
Wilhelm shook his head, “That’s not true, you’ll be a brilliant Joshua, sorry Josué, whoever played Lars. But, you know, I don’t want to impose. You have a family, they won’t want me in the way.”
“Wilhelm, you are an astonishingly good actor. But you need to work on believing you are wanted. You made me feel so safe today, I reached inside myself deeper than I ever have before, showed more vulnerability than I ever could have done with anyone else I’d only met ten seconds before. You are ‘the business’. I can never thank you enough for this.”
Wilhelm blushed. He did, deep inside, know he was a good actor, but no-one had ever said that they were better because of him. For any reason whatsoever. And, apart from Felice, no-one had wanted him around for a very long time. Abuela interrupted them with more rapid Spanish, there were a few exchanges before Simon said, “She wants you to invite Felice to join us.”
Wilhelm looked slyly, totally disbelieving, “How does she know about Felice?”
“She said your family, and I said you have a friend instead of a family.”
Wilhelm sighed, people were rarely so succinct and accurate. But then the idea struck him, Felice still had no idea that he was now friends with the Simon Eriksson. It would be a good prank.
The party was fun. Linda and Sara both watched the TV show that Wilhelm was in and were amazed and full of questions for ‘Linus’. And when Simon opened the door for Felice, she was so astonished she started to retreat, assuming she had come to the wrong place. Over dinner, Felice and Sara got on really well, and between them all, Abuela presided over a wonderful family party, as if it was Christmas in spring. Everyone was happy.