Chapter Text
“All this because Loki desired a throne.” Odin said, full of tone Loki considered as mocking.
“It is my birthright.” Loki said casually.
“Your birthright was to die!” And how to react to a sentence like that. Loki felt his heart stop beating for a while and he could only look at his not-father as he continued. “As a child, cast out onto a frozen rock. If I had not taken you in, you would not be here now to hate me.”
It would be true, if Odin had never taken him, Loki would never be here to hate him, Loki would never crave for Odin's approval and his love. Loki would never hate his true form and his kins. Loki would never fall to the void. Loki would never meet the being that made him terrified. Loki would never...
Oh, how Loki wanted to say all of it but he just stilled his tongue and tight his lips and formed a wicked smile.
“Is there anything you want to say?” Asked Odin.
“I will claim my birthright and I will release you from your charge as I claim it.”
“Bring him to jail!” Odin barked and two einherjars behind Loki tugged his chain to drag him to jail.
From one jail to another jail. There’s not so much difference, eh? Just how many jails he was thrown into within these two years.
The jails in Asgard were bright, it made eyes hurt for it cannot be dimmed and it made mind confused for it never knew whether it was day or night, no one could tell how much time had passed. Locked for a mere hour and the brain could think it was already a year.
Loki sat on a chair in his jail, courtesy of his mother, should he still call her mother? He already spat such cruel things to her face sometimes earlier when she visited. Loki could not decide so he just sat there on his chair and looked at his hands on his thigh. His mind wandered to one sentence that stuck to his head like one annoying catchy tune, once it was heard, it would never leave your head. But to compare that particular sentence to a mere annoying tune was how he coped to not break his already broken heart.
“My birthright was to die, my once-father said.” Loki hummed, inserting some tune to a sentence, his fingers tracing the rune on his cuff, blocking his seidr. “He also said I was meant to be king. But when I tried to be king. No! What he meant was I was meant to die.” Loki finished his impromptu song.
“It is somewhat catchy. It can be my dirge now.” He said to himself and his fingers now tracing a black weblike veins on his wrist under the cuff. It only reached his arm last time he saw it, would it spread further to his palm? Loki would fool no one if he said no.
Loki was not sure how many days had passed after he finished his song back in the jail. Now he was standing on a platform in the bailey, cuff still locked on his wrists connected to a long chain looping his waist and ended on einherjars hand standing beside him. Some Asgardians, with important status, were standing a few meters in front of him along with the warrior four. Heimdall, even though his body was not here, Loki could feel his gaze centered at him. Go ahead and watch dear gatekeeper, Loki mused.
Odin and his former family were somewhere on a balcony facing him. He caught sight of them earlier when he was dragged up to the platform. His mother, Loki decided Frigga was still his mother no matter what, visited him last day with eyes full of tears. She said she could not change Odin's sentence and Loki was okay with that. His brother, Loki still tried to call him that, Thor never visited him, maybe he was truly disappointed with him and somehow Loki was not okay with that. And Odin, Loki hummed his dirge, inspired from last sentences spoken from the king’s mouth and Loki could not decide whether he was okay or not okay.
“Well, it doesn't matter anyway.” Loki didn't realize he spoke loudly and two einherjars beside him pushed him to his knees, Loki flinched and wandered his eyes, past the audience in front of him to the sharp huge blade hanging above him. It didn't matter indeed.
They positioned Loki to the contraption, body bent forward, neck on the frame. His head hanging down and Loki could not swipe his long black hair up, not with his hands secured on his back. He could hear the murmured sound of the crowd and Loki kept his humming to himself. It could be any minute the blade would come down, just waiting for Odin’s signal.
In this kind of situation it should be considered normal for one’s loud heart to be heard by one's own ears, but Loki could not hear such a thing. Loki could only feel a faint beat inside his chest. His hand felt numb already and Loki stopped his humming. The murmur that was so loud now fell faint on his ears. Loki felt light headed and it was getting harder to keep his eyes open. Loki tasted a tang on his mouth and wetness on his nose. Nose clogged, Loki opened his mouth to breathe and something dark dripped from inside his mouth past his lips and from his nose to the dirt below him. With his heavy eyelids, Loki counted the drip, one, two, three.
Someone far above him yelled something, it must be Odin and his sentence. One of the einherjars rustled about something, must be the rope to swing the blade down. As the dark drip got heavier it was now pouring from his mouth and nose and the murmured of the crowd changed to a static ringing in his ears, the last thing Loki could see was a flash of light from a moving blade illuminated the dark drops on the dirt before his eyes closed and Loki has no energy to open them again.
Along with a weak beat of his heart he chanted, “My birthright was to die!”