Work Text:
“Erwin! I can’t believe you came to a tavern to drink with your two best soldiers and friends... in a suit and tie?!”
Hange had the habit of speaking loudly, making noise and causing a mess wherever she went. Shouting, slamming both hands on the table and raising her body like a madman recently released from the psychiatric ward was her everyday modus operandi.
Erwin, however, was not shaken by the chaotic eloquence of the mad scientist. He even found it amusing the way she handled any situation.
If someone asked Levi which natural elements the two were, he would certainly say that Hange was fire: hot, wild, brave and fearless. Erwin was earth: centered, stubborn, obstinate, diplomatic and loyal.
He didn’t know how to say which element he was. Levi wasn’t good at describing himself, at seeing himself as a person with a defined personality. He found it strange to talk about himself in the third person, especially to strangers. A bit narcissistic and snobbish — characteristics he hated.
So, once he asked Four-Eyes which element would fit his personality.
“Hmm…” was her first reaction. “It’s not a simple question to answer. You need to analyze several factors.” She remained lying on his bed, arms open, feeling the softness and coolness of the sheet that helped her sleep. “Why this question?”
“Can’t I ask?”
Hange turned over. The sheet slipped down to her waist, leaving her breasts exposed, inviting. Her abdomen was well defined, the waist perfect for him to hold while she rode him, as she had done thirty minutes before.
“That question coming from you is strange.” Hange replied, with a lazy little smile forming on her lips.
She propped herself up on one elbow, her messy brown hair falling over one shoulder. Her eyes shone behind the crooked lenses.
“Why?”, Levi asked, dryly.
“Because you never ask that kind of thing. You act. You kill. You clean. You obey or give orders. You don’t usually philosophize about yourself.”
“I asked about you and the blond. Not just about me.”
“Liar. You asked to know what I think of you.”
Hange stretched out her hand and poked his chest with her index finger, slowly sliding down the thin scar that crossed his ribs.
“So?”, he insisted.
She tilted her head, pretending to think deeply. The sheet slipped a little more, revealing the curve of her hip.
“Water,” she said finally.
Levi raised an eyebrow. “Water?”
“Yes. Water. Calm on the surface, but capable of dragging everything when it gets agitated. Transparent to those who know how to look, but deep enough to get lost in. Hard when it freezes, soft when it wants to be. And mainly...” She moved closer, her lips almost brushing his. “...essential. What would we be without you?”
Levi remained silent for a few seconds. “You’re being dramatic again,” he murmured.
Hange laughed softly and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips naturally.
“Maybe. But it’s true. Erwin is earth, I’m fire... and you are the water that balances us. You put out my fire when I go too far, you open a path in his earth when needed. And you still carry us when we sink.”
She leaned in, her breasts brushing against his chest, and whispered against his mouth: “Besides, water looks really good naked in bed.”
Levi held her waist firmly, his fingers sinking into the soft skin.
“Idiot.”
Hange was still standing on top of the table, both hands planted on the wood, leaning forward dramatically while staring at Erwin.
“Suit and tie, Erwin? Seriously?”
Some people at nearby tables laughed. Others just watched the scene with curiosity.
Erwin, sitting with impeccable posture, smiled with his usual calm. The dark suit contrasted absurdly with the dirty and poorly lit environment of the tavern. Levi felt a slight shiver just being there. The sticky floor and the smell of old drink bothered him deeply. Damn Four-Eyes.
“I was in a meeting with the nobles and didn’t have time to change clothes,” Erwin replied, serene. “Someone needed to maintain a minimum of decorum, Hange.”
“And make the nobles follow your tempting song to get funds for our cause,” she completed, laughing. “Good thing you’re the commander and not me.”
Erwin’s eyes met Levi’s for a brief moment. Hange still didn’t know, but Erwin already had a name in mind to succeed him in the commander position. Both knew of her capability. Levi fully agreed with the choice, but at the same time he worried. The position would drain a large part of Hange’s energy. She would have to kill part of her own essence to fit into the system she so despised, the same system he also detested. Still, Levi knew she would never run from duty. Despite all the jokes about how obedient he was to the commander, Hange was not far behind. The two trusted Erwin, even when his methods were questionable to both of their principles.
Hange jumped off the table with an exaggerated movement, almost knocking over a chair, and threw herself onto the bench next to Levi, putting her arm possessively over his shoulders.
“Look at him, Levi! Our commander came dressed for a meeting at headquarters, not to drink with us. We should take that suit off him.”
Levi snorted, taking a sip of his beer before answering.
“If you take his clothes off here, we’ll be kicked out in less than a minute.”
“It would be worth it just for the faces of the nobles when they find out,” Hange retorted, laughing.
“You two could talk less about taking my clothes off and more about the drinks in this place?” Erwin said, placing his navy blue blazer on the back of the chair and straightening his posture as he waved to the waitress.
Levi had already wondered if the commander had some noble lineage. The posture and impeccable politeness were characteristics of the upper class of Paradis, but over the years, he had understood that there was a character being played by Erwin. A character whose goal was to win the favor of the high military ranks and the noble pigs.
How far, at that moment, did Erwin Smith begin and the charming character end?
Levi had had several moments alone with Erwin. Meetings about the next strategies, slightly drunk confessions on the terrace and even confessions that could lead them to a more intimate path, if Levi wanted. In those moments, Erwin allowed himself to be himself, showing a vulnerability that seemed reserved only for him.
Mike had once commented that the character was so ingrained in the commander’s skin that Erwin didn’t stop playing it even behind closed doors.
“Mike isn’t coming?” Levi asked.
“He’ll be a little late,” Erwin replied, looking from side to side. “I don’t know if I should pass this information…”
“Uuuuh, gossip?” Hange said, excited, leaning her body forward.
“Just sharing information.”
“Tch. Just a nice name to camouflage that you’re a gossip.”
Erwin just raised an eyebrow and thanked the young waitress who brought the beer mugs, offering his best smile when he noticed the blush on her cheeks. Levi wasn’t sure if that had been a flirt or just the natural politeness of a gentleman. He also had doubts if women were still part of Erwin’s menu.
“Promise me that when Mike tells you, you’ll pretend to be surprised.”
Both nodded and leaned in to make the conversation more private.
“Mike and Nanaba got married this morning.”
“WHAT?!”
Hange’s voice echoed through the entire hall.
Three men at a nearby table turned their faces at the same time. The waitress almost dropped the tray. A considerably drunk guy raised his mug, not understanding anything, but willing to toast any event that justified more drink.
Levi closed his eyes for a moment.
“You are physically incapable of being discreet?”
“Mike and Nanaba got married!” Hange whispered, but her whisper was still loud enough to cross half the tavern. “How did you want me to react? With an elegant nod and a comment about the weather?”
“I asked you to pretend to be surprised when he told you,” Erwin said, bringing the mug to his lips with irritating calm. “Not to test the acoustics of the establishment.”
“You should have started by saying something less shocking.” Hange pointed at him. “Like ‘Mike bought new boots’ or ‘Nanaba cut her hair.’ Not marriage.”
Levi narrowed his eyes.
“Where did they get married?”
“At the military registry office. Minimal witnesses. They signed the papers and left.”
“No party?” Hange seemed personally offended.
“From what Mike said, Nanaba threatened to run away if anyone tried to turn it into a celebration.”
“But as far as I know, relationships aren’t allowed.” Hange murmured.
“Mike’s case is isolated. The ceremony happened discreetly, and I doubt they’ll kick him out. He has his value with Zachary.” Erwin brought the mug to his lips, tasting the bitterness of the beer. “I don’t mind. I don’t think it will affect his performance.”
Beside him, Hange shivered, her gaze wandering between the mugs on the table. Levi knew exactly what that look meant. They had talked about it several times in his room. How risky it was to remain like this in furtive encounters. However, knowing that there is a possibility that their relationship is not a problem affirms another reality.
Relationship. Was that what they had?
They had never defined exactly what they had. Everything happened impulsively in Hange’s laboratory late at night. The day had been particularly shitty and Levi liked to hear Hange talk as if her voice had a calming effect on him. The contents of the conversations were always about her experiments with the titans and Levi rarely paid attention to the details since he found any study about the man-eating beasts repulsive.
On that particular day Hange was glowing, a bright aura outlined her body and face, and Levi found himself admiring her. She had always been beautiful, in a peculiar way that caught his attention, but on that day she was excited and confident, her hair loose, the first three buttons of her yellow shirt open revealing the marked collarbone and some scars from past expeditions.
On impulse, interrupting her in the middle of an explanation he wasn’t even paying attention to, Levi kissed her. He had decided to satisfy his curiosity once and for all and find out if her lips were as sweet as he imagined. Just once and that would be the solution.
He was an idiot.
Upon feeling her tongue dancing with his, returning the kiss with the ferocity that only Hange Zoe would do, he understood that he was doomed to have her every night.
They kissed and had sex in her laboratory, on top of the table, on the floor and sitting on the armchair that was in the corner near the books.
Levi had given himself to her in a way he had never given himself to anyone. It was as if part of his soul (did he have one?) had found its home when uniting his body with that of his comrade.
And since then they had continued like that.
Hange’s ankle lightly brushed his leg. It was an unintentional touch, because at the same moment she pulled her leg away in silent apologies. Levi slid his knuckles along the back of her hand and left his open hand extended on her thigh.
Hange intertwined her hand with his, talking to Erwin without changing any expression, except for the blush that appeared on the top of her cheeks. Other people would blame the alcohol, but Levi knew it was because of him and his discreet touch under the table.
Mike arrived minutes later telling the news. Both performed the best surprised face ever made in the history of Paradis, Erwin commented later.
They celebrated, talked and then went to their rooms in the regiment.
Hange appeared at Levi’s door as he had already imagined would happen.
“Hi,” she said, a little shaky, a shy greeting asking permission to enter. Which was absurd, Hange never asked permission to do anything with Levi, including entering his room.
He observed her without answering. The moonlight high in the sky was the only illumination entering the dark corridor of the barracks. Her brown hair was messy on top of her head in a way that Levi knew she had messed with several times, gathering courage to do something. Would it be courage to see him? Since when did Hange get anxious about this?
Levi had already lost count of how many times this idiot had entered his room without any permission. Even before having any carnal involvement, when they were just friends. But they were still friends, friends who have sex. What other name should he give it?
The buttons of her shirt were still open. He had looked at them the entire night imagining opening them savagely and licking every little piece of her on the table. It was strange for thoughts like that to arise. He had never been depraved, womanizing or any lascivious adjective given to men thirsty for sex.
Sex was a taboo for him. His childhood was full of traumas that still took root in the depths of his soul. He found it degrading for men to pay to satisfy a primitive instinct, making women resort to that profession to have something to eat or feed their children, the result of that repugnant act between consumer and soulless merchandise. But despite the traumas of living in a brothel and almost being a victim of abuse, Levi felt… Pleasure? Lust? Curiosity? The first time this feeling arose was when he still lived in the Underground. It was first with a woman he admired. Then with a man he respected. He noticed that there was a pattern for this pleasure to arise and it wasn’t just because of how physically attractive the person was or the gender, he had always been attracted to men and women in equal measure. But character was something crucial. Intimacy. Respect. Loyalty. It was pleasurable to be touched by those he admired.
This thought was only confirmed when he met Erwin and then Hange. Both had the qualities that made this pleasure arise.
Curiously, Hange was the one Levi couldn’t control himself with. She always displayed an aura of comfort, a magnetism that pulled him whenever she was in the room. Levi always knew when Hange was in the room, because he felt that magnetism pulling him and when he raised his eyes, she was always there, looking at him too.
And she was right there, at the door of his room, with a shy expression.
“What is it?” he asked, studying Hange’s face.
“W-what?”
“You never knock on the door. You don’t even greet. You always appeared in my room like an eloquent hurricane. Something is wrong.”
“Maybe I wanted to be more civilized?”
“Tch! No. I don’t want you civilized.”
Before Hange could answer, Levi’s hand pulled her by the shirt, dragging her into the room and closing the door with her body pressed against the wood.
Hange always responded to the kiss with ferocity. She was a person driven by passion, as if that act were the last of her life. And maybe it really was. Every expedition beyond the walls was a cruel game of fate to decide which soldier would be sacrificed for humanity.
Levi was already used to her fingers sliding along his nape, intertwining in his hair and pulling hard. With the moans he swallowed during the kisses. With her pelvis rubbing, hungry, against his thigh and the glasses crooked from the fervor of the moment.
“These damn glasses,” Levi grumbled, interrupting the kiss just enough to take the glasses off her face. He folded them carefully and placed them on the desk next to the door.
“Without them I can barely see anything,” Hange protested.
“Up close I know you can see. And in this case everything becomes more interesting. You just need to feel what I do to you.”
He kissed her again. His hands went down her waist, squeezing the flesh under the shirt. Hange arched her body against his, a moan vibrating in her throat when she felt his fingers go up her back, tracing the old scars that both knew by heart.
Levi unbuttoned four buttons of her shirt, when his hands finished mapping her back, improving access to her breasts, biting the top even over the protective band that Hange wore during training. His height on these occasions was of great help. His mouth aligned perfectly where Levi had fantasized the entire night.
“You have no idea how much I wanted to do this.” He bit and grabbed a breast feeling the nipple harden quickly. “I imagined running my tongue along your collarbone the entire night.”
“Really?” Hange asked, a little breathless. “Funny. I thought your interest was in Erwin.”
Levi pulled back enough to look at her.
“Where did you get that damn idea?”
“You were looking at him differently tonight.”
Maybe his thoughts had made him stare at Erwin. That had certainly made Hange interpret it differently.
“Well,” he tilted his head. “He is a handsome man, I think admiring him is no problem, but it wasn’t him I was fantasizing about.”
“We should call him next time.”
“I don’t like sharing,” he replied, nibbling her chin.
“And who said you were going to share?” she observed him. “You would certainly be the main course, shorty.”
“Tch! You’re an idiot.”
Levi went back to kissing her, with less ferocity, more affection if he could say so. He explored Hange’s mouth with more care and made her moan softly.
“I didn’t know you were possessive,” Hange commented, still stuck on the previous subject.
Indeed, Levi wasn’t. He knew that freedom between two people should be preserved, regardless of the relationship they maintained. He had never wanted to control Hange’s steps, choose her company or limit any part of the life she had built before him. She was too restless to fit in a cage and any attempt to lock her up would end up destroying exactly what attracted him most about her.
But the simple mention of sharing her with someone (even if her comment didn’t have that intention) made him feel a little wild.
Levi held her waist and pulled her closer, eliciting a brief sound of surprise from Hange.
“I’m only possessive with what’s mine.”
“And is that what I am?” Hange asked, holding his face between her hands. Her thumbs slid slowly across his cheeks. “Yours?”
Levi widened his eyes slightly, caught off guard by the question. It had escaped Hange’s lips with a sweetness that left him disconcerted, and he understood that that doubt had perhaps arisen because of the events at the tavern.
Hange wasn’t in his room just to lie in his bed, as she had done so many times. Maybe she was there because she wanted to better understand what existed between them. Mike and Nanaba’s marriage had affected her. Levi had noticed it immediately, although he didn’t know what to do with that realization. How could he handle that conversation when he didn’t even know how to give a name to what they had?
Or maybe he did know.
Maybe he was just afraid to say it out loud and allow it to become real. Because whenever he recognized how much something mattered, the universe seemed to find a way to snatch it from him.
But before Levi could answer, Hange leaned in and found his mouth. She kissed him hard, with desperation, as if she could prevent any answer by keeping his lips occupied, fearing the words he would choose if he had the opportunity to pronounce them.
Levi remained still for a brief moment, surprised by the urgency of that gesture. Then he pressed his fingers against her waist and returned the kiss, even though he noticed something different in the way Hange held him.
When he tried to pull away, Hange followed, refusing to allow the distance between them to last more than a second.
“Hange,” he murmured against her lips.
She just kissed him again. She didn’t want to talk, much less give a name to what existed between them. Hange felt the same fear he did and tried to hide it under the urgency of that kiss, using desire to suffocate the feelings that had arisen so turbulently at the tavern table. Maybe both were using pleasure as a kind of shelter. While they were busy with their hands, mouths and the familiarity of their bodies, they wouldn’t need to face questions for which neither of them was prepared.
Levi didn’t mind, because that escape was also convenient for him.
With skillful movements, Hange undid the knot of his pants, kneeling and taking him into her mouth, moaning with every movement she made, grabbing him by the thighs with the anguish that losing him was a possibility. He let her take control of everything. He liked when she dominated him, did whatever she wanted with him.
Clothes were removed. Bodies reached the bed and the sighs seemed like old songs, hoarse, sung in the penumbra of a room that smelled of old wood, leather and gunpowder.
Levi descended upon her like shadow over burned earth. Skin against skin, scars finding scars, a map of wars that fingers read in silence before the mouth claimed the territory. Hange’s breasts rose to meet his chest, hot, marked by time and the fury of the world. She kissed him with insatiable hunger, as if she could never tire of him and he kissed her in the same way, with identical urgency. While his hands and mouth roamed every curve of her body, provoking, igniting and drawing sighs, her hands and mouth did the same to him, in a passionate and symmetrical duel. They didn’t need fire in the fireplace or blankets. The heat they created between them was enough, a living furnace, made of skin, desire and a passion that burned stronger than any flame.
Hange arched her body, a low and trembling laugh escaping her parted lips. Her long fingers dove into his black hair, pulling him lower, guiding him like someone leading a titan by the invisible leash of desire. When his tongue traced the path to her belly, lingering on her navel, she let out a moan that seemed to tear the air.
“Look at me,” he ordered.
Even without her glasses, Hange tried. Her brown eyes, unfocused and bright, found the blur that was his face. That was enough. Levi slid inside her in a single fluid, deep movement, filling her as if he wanted to occupy all the voids the world had dug in her chest.
Then they loved each other in a slow, deliberate and deeply satisfying way. Levi had never used the euphemism “making love” to describe sex. For him, that had always been something purely physical, but with her — with Hange — it was different. Language simply did not possess a word capable of defining what happened between them.
It was strange. Even with his body completely surrendered to the act, with every nerve concentrated on the pleasure that pulsed between the two, loose thoughts still wandered through his mind. Making love. Having sex. Or whatever name one could give to it.
He satisfied himself with every piece of her and she had done the same. Hange turned Levi’s body to her own pleasure and made him tremble, holding his wrists, lowering her hot and wet femininity with more force. Hange’s flushed and sweaty face became more evident when she straightened her body, better aligning the movements.
And it was at that exact moment that upon seeing her face lost in ecstasy, her loose and messy hair, the smile after sighing his name, so beautiful and radiant that he finally confessed in his thoughts.
He was deeply in love with Hange Zoe.
“Captain?” the female voice called him affectionately.
“He already said not to call him that anymore.” The male voice scolded. “He wasn’t even your captain,” he continued with a contained laugh.
“Everyone calls him that. I ended up getting used to it.”
Levi felt the girl’s fingertips touch his shoulder. “Levi?”
His eyes opened and the light was strong. The brightness softened the vision and a vast green field adorned the landscape. He was seeing partially as if only one eye worked. He tried to get up, but one leg didn’t follow the command.
“You were sleeping.”
The face followed the direction of the voice finding a girl. Maybe eighteen or nineteen years old with reddish brown hair. Beside her a boy of similar age, but blond with a soft and friendly face.
They looked like Isabel and Furlan.
“Mikasa and Jean arrived.” the girl said. “I brought your favorite Paradis tea.”
The realization finally cleared his mind. He was with Gabi and Falco. It was just a dream. Actually a memory, yes, disguised as a dream. That meant Mike was dead. That Nanaba was dead. That Erwin was dead. And that Hange…
“I’ll ask them to come here. The day is so beautiful, we can bring the food outside and celebrate this day a little differently.”
“Celebrate?” Levi asked confused.
“Today is Hange’s birthday.”
“Ah.” Was his only response. His mind wandering far away.
Gabi and Falco entered the house to organize the food and prepare the tables outside. Levi remained there, looking at the green leaves falling from the tree and the longing piercing his chest.
“Hange,” he sighed. “I should have married you.”