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Long ago, when the pyramids were still young, the Egyptian Kings played a game of great and terrible power. But these Shadow Games erupted into a war that threatened to destroy the entire world. Until a brave and powerful pharaoh locked the magic away, imprisoning it within the mystical Millennium Items. Now, five thousand years later, a boy named…” He stopped and sighed. “Colton Jr. unlocks the secret of the Millennium Puzzle. He is infused with ancient magical energies…among other things such as the ability to skin a…buck in three and a half minutes, for destiny has chosen him to defend the world from the return of the Shadow Games, just as the brave Pharaoh did five thousand years ago."
They sat at an old wooden table, carved with people’s names. Things such as Sally Rae loves Jasper 4 eva, and Timmy Allen Hawkins wuz here. How I had ended up here with these people. How fate had dictated this was the group that would save the world was completely beyond me. At the time, I had no idea who I was, so I just had to assume that the powers that be (for even then I knew nothing of the Gods) were doing what was best. In retrospect I am assuming they thought this was the funniest of cosmic jokes.
Colton Arrington Jr. The savior of the world. He had been beaten down more times than I could count at this point. His father was the town coward. A yellow belly they called him. I knew nothing of the color of men’s bellies, only that Colton had put together the Millennium Puzzle. Colton was the boy who would change the world. Along with his friends Joey Bob McDonald, a rambunctious and…stupid blonde, Cletus Snodgrass who was to my chagrin the smartest of this rag tag group, but was far too into horses for his own good and Sammy Jo Brighton. I’d say she was good for something besides simply ogling, but if you watched the males of this town it was clear that was all she was indeed good for.
“Joe Bob, Joe Bob. Hey Joe Bob. You in there? S’your turn.” Colton prompted rolling up the sleeves of his plaid cowboy shirt, the pearl buttons gleaming in the artificial light of the classroom.
Joe Bob had a vacant stare. I wasn’t certain if this was because he didn’t understand the game they were playing, or if it was his normal vacant stare. It was honestly hard to tell…
“Uhhhhhhh.” He drew out the word until I just wanted to slap him.
“Ain’t it cute when he tries t’think an all?” Cletus asked with a smirk, after he spit his dip into the empty Dr. Pepper bottle.
“You shut your pie hole. Colton here is tryna teach me how t’play Duel Monsters.”
“Didja say Droolin’ Monsters?” Cletus said squinting at the cards on the rickety table. And yes, please remember I did say he was the smartest.
“I said Duelin’ Monsters ya idjit.” And of course Joe Bob punched Cletus and Cletus had to defend his manhood and retaliate. They almost knocked over the table before Sammie Jo finally had broken them up. “Can’t y’all behave for one damn minute?” She asked tossing her hair over her shoulder and tightening the knot on her shirt.
“Colton is tryna explain somethin'. An' Joe Bob needs all the help he can get. He’s like a blind rat inna dark well looking for a snack. He don’t get it at all, but Colton is real good.” If you do not realize Sammie Jo is completely enamored on Colton. I have no idea why I think it’s because he has all his teeth.
“Alright Colton, S’time t’duel!” Joe Bob exclaimed slamming his fist down on the table which flung the cards everywhere. After some groaning and moaning everyone picked them up and they actually started the game. If someone had told me at the time this lot was the world’s only hope, I would have just gone back in the puzzle and slept for another five thousand years.
Sammie Jo looked at Cletus. “So y’see each one of them there cards has some attack and defense points. And the first person t’take all of the other ones life points is the winner.” Cletus stared at Sammie Jo. “Where’d ya learn all that from?”
“I’ve been watching. I’m gonna duel someday too.”
All the boys stopped and stared at Sammy Jo and began to laugh. I heard such things as: “Oh…Oh that’s rich right there. A girl, playin’ Duel Monsters.” and "You can't play Duel Monsters, you've got boobies."
Sammie Jo just glared. “Y’all mark my words. Imma duel someday just like y’all are.” Which was met with more laughter.
Joe Bob interrupted which might have actually been an interesting fight (my money was on Sammie Jo) by opening his mouth. In my humble opinion this was always a mistake.
“That there was a purty good move now wasn’t it Colton?” He beamed proudly adjusting his Stetson. I have to admit I had to use the Google to figure out a Stetson was a cowboy hat that cost more than three decks of rare cards from Duel Monsters. I assume Joe Bob had won it in a shooting contest or some other such thing.
“Sure. Sure was Jo Bob. Purty damn good, but not good enough!” He shot back with a wide smile.
“Whadaya mean?” Joe Bob asked, though I could already see that Colton’s card was far more powerful. Joe Bob, being a moron took a substantially longer amount of time. “Awww dagnabbit! That card done wiped me out.”
Cletus snorted. “Yer worse than Satan tryna teach Sunday school Joe Bob.”
Colton smiled warmly. “He ain’t all that bad. He just needs better cards. My Pa Pa Colton Sr. will help y’out.”
Joe Bob’s eyes widened like dinner plates. “Yer tryna tell me that yer Pa Pa owns a whole daggum game store?!” It wasn’t just Joe Bob, they all seemed excited about that prospect.
Colton shrugged. “Well it’s a Game store slash, gun shop, slash hair care and tire shop.”
There was a collective awed “Woah.” From the group of miscreants, but at least they were going in the right direction. I knew very little, but I did know that in order to discover what I needed to do that somehow this Duel Monsters was involved.
“A gun shop!” Joe Bob exclaimed. “Aw man, I don’t need no duel monster cards if y’all got the new Winchester in.”
So much for saving the world…
Somehow no one seemed to notice the rather sinister tall kid glaring over his book. I did of course, because what else was I to pay attention to? Not these idiots. It was clear he was listening in. He wanted something. I just hoped that maybe it was something to do with the actual cards and not something that involved either, shooting, raised trucks or crushing beer cans on your head.
Later on that day after sitting through science class that was really just a lengthy explanation of how God created everything and no you aren’t allowed to ask questions about it…What a ridiculous notion that was.
We were all sitting around ogling the new model 70 Winchester rifle. This was boring. I was hoping that someone might use it to put me out of my misery when the old man came out. “Oh, ho ho, that ain’t nothing. Y’all wanna see something amazing?”
Gathering around, the groups eyes were wide with anticipation. “Course we do.”
I scrubbed my hand over my face. Surely this was another gun. Maybe a double barrel or a hand gun, who knew. All I knew was that I had enough of these fools. Mind crush was in every one of their futures.
But then! There it was! “This is my super-duper rare card. S’called the blue eyes white dragon.”
Suddenly the door was kicked open to the ringing of the General Lee door chime. There stood the lanky boy I had seen earlier. He wore starched jeans and one of those western shirts with the little gold snaps. A white Stetson rested on his head and his matching white duster settled around him.
“Hey isn’t that Stanley Clarence?” Joe Bob exclaimed. “Doesn’t his family own the fracking company?”
“I heard they were oil tycoons.” Cletus said in awe.
He strode to the counter with determination and threw down a briefcase. Opening it, there were at least ten thousand cards. “I’ll give you every one of these cards for that one ole man.”
“Now hang on a dag gum minute son.” Pa Pa Arrington said holding his hands up. “This here card ain’t for sale. It was given me by my good ole pal and I can’t give it up for nothing.”
“Well since you won’t listen to reason.” Stanley drawled, “Maybe you’ll listen to the sound of cold hard cash.” He whipped out his camo covered check book and a pen. “You just go on and name your price old timer.”
“You got wax in your ears son?” Pa Pa said slamming his hands down on the counter hard enough the bullets held within it rattled. “It’s not for sale. Don’t matter if it’s rare, or not. I’d feel the same way even if it weren’t rare.
“Even if it were just a regular like card right Pa Pa?” Colton chimed in.
He agreed with a grin. “That’s right Carlton Jr. Even if were a regular. Wouldn’t make no difference to me.”
Stanley clenched his fist, and slammed the brief case shut. “Fine. I’m tired of your blatherin.” He said spinning around on his heels.
Finally! Someone who was thinking about cards and games instead of how fast he could skin a buck. This I could work with. I felt a connection. Maybe because this was the only one of these idiots who had his head on his shoulder.
The rest of them were just a buncha lame brained idjits.
Oh god. They were rubbing off on me.
I knew then that I and Stanley Clarence’s futures were connected. I had no idea our pasts were connected as well I was soon to learn
Now, if I could just get everyone to stop looking at the new Colt combo…