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"Well, Lucy, I have to say, no one in this town conserves water better than you! Congratulations!"
Lucy preened a little, sure her cheeks were pink with pride, as Burgess signed off on her certificate and handed it to her.
"Thank you! It's been a challenge but I'm proud of the ways I've come up with to properly utilize every drop of water I can get my hands on."
"Boy, I'll say!" Burgess flipped through his notes. "The automatic timer shutoff on your shower. Capturing and recycling all of your gray water to use for your machines. Those neat little water catcher backpacks for your pets to collect dew to water your plants. The insane number of dew catchers you've placed on the roof. You should have Heidi checked the weight of that, by the way.
"I wish more people in this town had your level of dedications to the water conservation cause. Most of them do the basics, but if they all committed like you have we could significantly cut our water imports. Of course, all of the work the residents do put in is mostly countered by the true water wasters in town."
"Who is that?" Lucy was horrified at the idea of a water waster in her town.
Burgess leaned closer, his eyes narrowed and glittering in repressed anger. "The tourists! Especially the ones that stay in the hotel."
Lucy gasped. All the efforts she made to conserve water were being usurped by all those judgemental out-of-towners that rolled in on the train and mocked them for fun? Lucy knew the tourists were creeps, after all, Justice and Unsuur had to make extra patrols past Ceramic Gate to run off the ones that constantly harassed Amirah, but she had no idea they were also water wasters!
"It's true! You wouldn't believe the amount of water Owen's hotel uses. They take long showers, half finish drinks, he even has bathtubs in some of the rooms!"
"Bathtubs?!" Lucy was aghast.
"That's right! They were installed before the relic rush and Owen refuses to tear them out. Neither Trudy nor Matilda will make him, something about preserving the history of the town, and they even gave him a special water dispensation so he can keep the tubs in use!" Burgess's displeasure with this was evident in his voice. "He regularly overshoots even that allotment, though, and they just let it slide." His eyes were burning now, his face mottled red in outrage.
"Oh, Burgess," Lucy breathed in sympathy.
"I know! I wish I could do something about it, but my hands are tied. Trudy and Matilda won't enforce the water rules on the hotel and Justice refuses to lock up, or even fine, the offenders. The best I can get from him is to give them a stern lecture.
"Of course, they always get mad at me when he lectures them. They've even started coming by Water World to call me names." His voice cracked as he whispered, "They call me the 'Dewdrop Cop', then some of them buy a bottle of water and dump it out in front of me."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Burgess." Lucy patted his shoulder in sympathy.
"Thank you, Lucy. I knew you, of all people, would understand. You're just as passionate about water conservation as I am!"
They exited the workshop and Burgess stopped to admire her thriving garden.
"I can't get over how well your plants are growing. The mountain roses are especially beautiful."
"Thank you. It's the animals. Between the dew they collect in the mornings and recycling their waste into fertilizer in the blender, I have everything I need to keep my plants happy."
Burgesses face turned white. "The blender?" He turned towards her sole industrial blender. "Isn't that the same blender you use to mill your flour and make the sandberry jam you give away at Mabel's monthly sweets booth?"
Lucy laughed. "Yep, it's the only one I have. Don't worry, I thoroughly clean the machine body after each use and the fertilizer has a dedicated bowl and paddle attachment that doesn't get used for anything else. It's very clearly marked."
Burgess visibly relaxed, "Of course. I better get over to the ranch. Their inspection is due today, as well, and it always takes extra time because Cooper likes to follow me around and complain about being inspected and how it impinges on his rights as a sovereign citizen or something. I'm not exactly sure what a sovereign citizen is but he's very passionate about it and it always takes hours for him to stop talking."
Lucy waved good-bye and watched Burgess cross the tracks, her eyes narrowing at the tourists disembarking from the Ataran train. A large group carried luggage toward the hotel and Lucy wondered how many of them were about to undue all of her conservation efforts for their own selfish comfort.
Lucy stood up and brushed the dirt from her hands, satisfaction filling her as she surveyed her plants.
"Morning, Lucy. The plants look beautiful today." Burgess's voice greeted her listlessly from the other side of the fence.
"Is everything okay, Burgess?" Lucy had never heard him sound anything but upbeat. He had the happiest, most indefatigable optimism of anyone she'd ever met. Something catastrophic had to have happened to bring him down.
"Everything is fine, I just had a bit of a rough morning. First I got a dressing down from Pastor Miguel, then Pen was extra rough in combat practice, after that I noticed a massive water incident with one of the overnight guests at the hotel when I reviewed the room meters. I reported it to Justice who gave the water waster a lecture that angered the water waster so much he pushed me down and dumped his bottle of water on me. Justice did arrest him for assault, but then suggested I maybe make fewer reports. Looking at your beautiful flowers is making me feel much better, though."
Lucy's heart ached. Burgess was such a pure, beautiful soul. He tried so hard and no one really respected his efforts. Reaching into the basket of cut flowers at her feet, she plucked the nicest one from the batch and presented it to him with a flourish.
"For you. For all the hard work you do keeping us stocked with that precious liquid of life."
Burgess's face lit with joy as he accepted the beautiful bloom. Lifting it to his nose, he breathed deeply the fragrance of the mountain rose.
"Thank you. This has really lifted my spirits." His expression turned thoughtful as he closely inspected the flowers soft petals. "I may have an idea for how to handle the water wasters. Lucy, if I bought some flowers from you, would you help me deliver them?"
"Sure, Burgess. These roses bloom all year long and I always have a ton of them. They also take surprisingly little water to grow."
"Perfect. That's perfect." He backed away from the fence. "I'll be back when I have a plan."
"Lucy, it's time."
Lucy turned from her machine to squint at Burgess in confusion. "Time for what?"
"My plan! For the water wasters!"
"Oh! That! Wow, it's been a minute, I forgot all about that." It had been several weeks, in fact.
"Yes, well, planning isn't really my strong suit. Plus, I needed the perfect ARC, that's an 'at-risk-citizen' even though the tourists aren't actually citizens, and now I have one. This guy is a doozy. He used almost 200 hundred gallons for his bath last night!"
Lucy gasped in outrage.
"I know!! He told Justice the water kept going cold in his bathtub and he had to keep topping it off to stay warm! Anyway, he was so angry about the lecture Justice gave him that he bought a big bucket of water and told me he was going to go pour it out in the desert! We have to stop him and make him see reason! I need a bouquet of flowers and your backup, quick!"
"You got it, boss!"
Lucy and Burgess tracked the ARC out to the edge of the canyon behind her house. The man was cackling evilly as he lifted the bucket high above his head.
"Shame me for wanting a hot bath. Take this you water worshiping weirdo!" The bucket began to tip.
"Halt, water waster!" Burgess yelled out and the man whipped around, water sloshing from the side of the bucket to coat his sleeve.
"You," the man hissed. "Haven't you embarrassed me enough? Go away! I told you, I'm pouring this water in the desert and you can't stop me. I paid for it, I can waste it if I want!"
"Put the water bucket down nice and slow and listen to what he has to say." Lucy stepped to Burgess's side.
"Oh, the Dewdrop Cop has a sidekick? What are you? Dewdrop…cop…jr?"
Lucy rolled her eyes so hard they hurt. "Clever. Come up with that on your own? Listen up, bub, you keep disrespecting my friend and I'll be the monster that lives under your bed, got it? Now shut your yap and open your mind and ears."
"Yeah, whatever."
Lucy yanked her dagger out and threw it at the man. It flew past him, narrowly missing his head, embedding itself into the cactus tree directly behind him. More water splashed as the man jumped and Burgess gave her an annoyed glare.
Sorry, she mouthed to Burgess before turning her attention back to the white faced ARC. She pulled her other dagger and began casually cleaning her fingernails. "You were paying attention?"
The ARC nodded vigorously, his eyes glued to her dagger. "Yes, of course, what were you saying?"
Burgess launched into an impassioned plea for water conservation, waxing so poetic about the value of water and the myriad ways it sustained life that tears trembled on Lucy's lashes as he concluded his monologue.
"So you see, these beautiful flowers would not be possible without the power of water," he concluded. "Now that you see the life transforming magic of water, will you trade me these flowers for that bucket of water, and mend your wasteful ways?"
The man's mouth was hanging open, the bucket now sitting at his feet. He face began to screw up in contempt. "Are you fucking kidding…," his eyes darted to the knife Lucy flashed just out of Burgess's vision and the blood drained from his face once more. "I mean, of course. You have convinced me with your powerful words. I will accept your trade and leave town a changed man."
Burgess handed the man the flowers, then picked up the bucket as the ARC scurried back towards town and Lucy retrieved her dagger from the cactus tree.
"Well, I think that went quite well," Burgess raved as they returned to town. "We changed that man's life for the better. I should return this to Water World. Thanks again for your help, Lucy. You're a real friend."
"Anytime, Burgess." Lucy returned to the workshop, her steps faltering as she noticed the ARC standing in front of Justice, gesturing wildly with the bouquet of flowers. Justice caught her gaze, his mouth tightening and his eyes narrowing as he listened to the man rant.
Over the next few months, Burgess grabbed her several times to assist with errant ARCs. Burgess would lecture them as Lucy stood menacingly behind him, secretly threatening the water wasters with ever more creative pantomimes of bodily harm.
Each time they returned triumphantly to town, Lucy would see the ARC in question standing in front of Justice. She lived on tenterhooks, wondering when the sheriff would reach the end of his patience and approach her. He lasted longer than she expected.
"Lucy. Can we go inside and talk?"
They entered the workshop and she poured them each a cup of coffee before he got down to business.
"You know why I'm here?"
She sighed. "Yeah."
"Why are you indulging him like this, Lu? You are a Civil Corp deputy and you're threatening the very tourists that keep this town alive. Word is staring to spread about the crazy water creep and his heavy. You're going to force me to fire and then arrest you. I don't want to do that."
"But, Justice, these tourists…," she trialed off as he raised a hand.
"I get it. I really do. I wish there was more I could do to stop them but my hands are tied. The town desperately needs the revenue the tourists bring in, no matter how douchy they behave or how much water they waste.
"Now, I'm not gonna tell you to stop because, frankly, you're keeping Burgess happy and off my back. However, you need to find a more permanent solution, one that doesn't get back to me. Are we clear?"
She nodded glumly. "Crystal."
Justice left the workshop and Lucy stared at the door as it closed behind him. What was she going to do?
"Lucy. We have a code red water waster."
Lucy squinted at Burgess. "Are you sure? You remember our talk, right. Only the worst of the worst."
"I remember. This guy fell asleep in the bathtub with the water running. He caused thousands of gols in damage at the Blue Moon and wasted hundreds of gallons of water. He just laughed at Justice, threw a big bag of gols at Owen, and told them both to fuck off. He rented a yakmel and cart from Cooper than purchased ten barrels of water from Water World. Said he was going to dump them around the desert just because he could, and that would show us 'back-ass hick water slaves'."
Lucy sprang into action, saddling her new mount, Dewdrop, and helping Burgess settle onto the horse behind her. "Hold on tight," she instructed. "Which way did he go?"
"Across the Shonash Bridge, out into the Eufaula."
"Excellent. Not many carts out that direction, it should be easy to track him." She spurred Dewdrop into a gallop.
"Halt!" Burgess's voice rang loudly across the desert as Lucy slowed Dewdrop to a stop.
They were too late. Water poured from one of the barrels, the dark, shameful stain of wasted resources spreading across the sand.
"Oh, it's the Dewdrop Cop. And who are you?"
"I'm your worst nightmare. Spill one more drop of water and I'll kill you."
"With kindness," Burgess quickly interjected, presenting the flower bouquet he'd hastily assembled while Lucy saddled her mount. "She'll kill you with kindness. We both will. Please, sir, hear me out."
Burgess launched desperately into his plea for water conservation. Lucy could tell by the sound of his voice that he knew this particular ARC was a lost cause, and she steeled herself for what she knew had to be done. No amount of secret threats were going to move this stone. The ARC dramatically rolled his eyes and audibly scoffed at Burgess as the poor devotee of the Light made his plea.
"Beams of Light, are you done yet?" The ARC sounded bored and irritated.
"Yes," Burgess said mournfully, "I'm done."
"Thank fucking Peach! Just for making me listen to that, you can stand there and watch me dump out all of this water. I paid for it so there isn't really anything you can do to stop me."
The ARC gleefully kicked over another barrel of water, laughing maniacally at Burgess's wounded cry. Burgess dropped to his knees, pleas falling from his lips as tears dripped down his cheeks. The ARC sneered and lifted his knee, foot aiming for another water barrel.
A dagger flew through the air and embedded itself into the ARC's shoulder. He gasped and fell to the sand, eyes wide with shock.
Lucy stomped over to the fallen man and pressed the muzzle of her pistol to his forehead.
"You'd kill me — over water?" the ARC choked out incredulously.
"Not over water," the cocking of the hammer was loud in the silence of the desert. "You lack basic respect for life, you don't deserve yours."
"And who are you to judge that?"
"I told you, I'm your worst nightmare." The gun fired.
"You…you killed him." Burgess's voice at her side startled her.
"Yep." She turned to face him, worried he'd be upset, but his eyes were on the ARC's blood mingling with the water still leaking from the overturned barrels. "Are you upset?"
His gaze turned thoughtful as he considered her question. "I'm not. I don't condone violence, but maybe sometimes it really is the only way. I knew the whole time we weren't really changing minds. I knew you were threatening them into compliance. I think, deep down, I already knew this would be the eventual outcome, and I've made my peace with it. This is simply what has to happen to code red water wasters that won't mend their ways. So, what do we do with him?"
"Gather rocks and sticks. We need a bonfire, the hottest one we can build. I'm going to chop him up and we're going to burn the body, then dump the cart into the canyon. The yakmel will find its way home and Cooper will report the missing cart and tourist.
"This never happened, understood? When Justice asks, the last time you saw the ARC he was heading into the desert. The desert claims a lot of lives, this is simply going to be one more."
Burgess nodded solemnly and they set to work, neither noticing the man crouched behind a large rock, observing them through binoculars.
Justice packed his binoculars away and mounted Truth. Turning the white horse away from the duo dropping body parts into the large bonfire as the sun began its descent, he started back to town, a smile ghosting his lips. Lucy was a smart one, he'd known she would figure something out. This kind of creative thinking was exactly why she was his favorite deputy.