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Growing up too quick

Summary:

Jake realizes he hasn’t held his sons in a very long time. He remembers their little hands grabbing his shoulders and their soft smiles as they fell asleep against his chest.
He mourns the feeling until he realizes all he has to do is literally pick up his sons.
Lo’ak has some choice words on this matter.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The argument started before they were even halfway back from patrol.

“You missed three shots,” Lo’ak said loudly, pointing an accusing finger at his brother while leaping over a fallen branch. “Three.”

Neteyam looked offended down to his soul. “I missed one.”

“You missed the tree.”

“The ikran moved.”

“You blamed the ikran?” Lo’ak gasped dramatically. “That is pathetic.”

“I am going to throw you into the river.”

“I’d like to see you try!”

Jake walked a few paces ahead of them through the forest paths, trying very hard not to laugh.

The jungle glowed gold around them in the late afternoon light. Insects hummed. Somewhere above them, wings beat through the trees. It was peaceful. Almost. If he ignored the situation taking place behind him. Behind him, his sons continued bickering like their lives depended on it.

“You cheated,” Lo’ak insisted.

Neteyam scoffed. “How do you cheat archery?”

“I don’t know yet,” Lo’ak admitted, “but I know you did it.”

“You are impossible.”

“And you’re a liar.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

Jake smiled to himself.

Same as always.

Except, well, not the same. Not exactly. Something in his chest pulled strangely as he glanced back at them. They’d gotten taller again. Broader. Surer of themselves and the space they take up.

When had that happened?

Neteyam stood straight-backed and confident now, shoulders broadening into adulthood. He carried himself like a warrior already. Calm. Controlled. Responsible.

And Lo’ak…Well.

Still chaos incarnate. Still wild grins and sharp edges and too much energy packed into one body. But taller. So much taller. Long limbed and easy grace despite the way his body always seemed so ready to leap into mischief or danger at the drop of a hat.

Jake slowed without realizing it.

The boys almost walked into him.

“Dad?” Neteyam questioned.

Jake stared.

They were nearly eye level with him now.

Not little boys anymore. Not the tiny kids who used to cling to his arms and climb all over him after nightmares. Not the toddlers who’d demanded rides on his shoulders. Not the sleepy little things who used to pass out against his chest after hunts.

His throat tightened unexpectedly.

Too fast.

It happened too damn fast.

“Dad,” Lo’ak said suspiciously, “why are you looking at us like that?”

Jake blinked. Eyes focusing on Lo'ak who had crossed his arms and raised a brow at him.

Then, before either of them could react, he reached down, grabbed Lo’ak under the arms, and hauled him clean off the ground.

Lo’ak shrieked.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

Jake burst out laughing despite the sudden ache in his chest as he settled Lo’ak against him.

He still fit.

Barely.

But he fit.

Lo’ak flailed immediately. “Dad! Put me DOWN!”

Jake adjusted his grip automatically, one arm under Lo’ak’s legs, the other around his back.

“Not yet.”

“What are you even doing you crazy old man??”

“Checking something.”

“You are INSANE.”

Neteyam stared at them in open disbelief.

“Oh my Eywa,” he whispered. “He’s having a parenting crisis.”

“I AM NOT.” Jake protested, still not letting go of an outraged Lo’ak.

“You absolutely are,” Lo’ak accused while trying unsuccessfully to wriggle free. “Dad, I’m too big for this!”

Jake bounced him once on purpose. Smirking at the look of horror on Lo’aks face and the amusement in Neteyams.

Lo’ak made the most deeply offended noise imaginable.

“Nope,” Jake declared. “Still works.”

Neteyam lost the battle against his laughter instantly.

Lo’ak pointed accusingly at him. “Do not encourage him!”

“You look tiny,” Neteyam choked out.

“I HATE BOTH OF YOU.”

Jake grinned helplessly.

God, he’d missed this.

Lo’ak crossed his arms dramatically while Jake continued walking through the trees carrying him like he weighed nothing.

Which he definitely did not.

The kid had gotten heavy. Much heavier than when he was 5 years old at least.

Still, Jake held him tighter.

“…You used to do this after hunts,” he admitted quietly.

Lo’ak paused mid-struggle.

Jake smiled faintly.

“You’d fall asleep on me before we even got home.”

For one second, Lo’ak went completely still. Golden eyes staring at Jake, trying to figure out what exactly his dad was getting at.

Jake remembered it perfectly. Little hands clutching his shoulders. Warm sleepy breaths against his neck. Tiny tail flicking lazily while he fought sleep.

Jake swallowed hard.

“And Neteyam,” he continued, glancing at his eldest, “would pretend he was too old to ask me to carry him too.”

Neteyam’s eyes widened immediately.

“Oh no.”

“Then five minutes later,” Jake said mercilessly, “he’d be hanging off my arm.”

Lo’ak gasped loudly.

Neteyam looked horrified. “Why are you exposing me?”

“Because it’s funny.”

“It is not funny.”

“It’s a little funny.”

Lo’ak immediately pointed at his brother. “You used to ask for uppies?”

“I DID NOT.”

“You absolutely did,” Jake said.

“I was five!”

“You were eight.”

Neteyam looked ready to throw himself off the nearest cliff.

Lo’ak started cackling so hard his tail slapped Jake in the stomach.

Jake nearly dropped him laughing.

“This is the best day of my life,” Lo’ak wheezed.

“You are dead to me.”

“You wanted cuddles!”

“I wanted TRANSPORTATION.”

Jake snorted.

“That’s not what you said at the time.”

Neteyam groaned into his hands.

Lo’ak looked delighted beyond reason.

“You were clingy!”

“You literally cried if Dad left camp for an hour,” Neteyam shot back instantly.

Lo’ak froze.

Jake went very still.

Neteyam realized his mistake too late.

Lo’ak pointed furiously. “TRAITOR.”

Jake looked up at him slowly.

Lo’ak avoided eye contact immediately.

“…It was one time.”

“It was six times,” Neteyam corrected.

“NETEYAM.”

Jake was trying so hard not to laugh he was actually crying now.

Lo’ak noticed immediately.

“Are you crying?”

“No.”

“You are absolutely crying.”

“It’s the forest,” Jake lied terribly.

“The forest made you emotional?”

“Yes.”

Neteyam folded his arms. “This is getting worse.”

Jake inhaled slowly.

He hadn’t meant for this to hit so hard.

Really.

He’d just looked at them and suddenly all he could see were flashes of tiny hands and sleepy eyes and scraped knees and little tails wrapped around his wrist.

His boys.

Still his boys.

Even if they were growing up way too fast.

Lo’ak stopped fighting him completely. Settling still as he took in the safe position his dad held him in. Lo’ak had no doubt in his mind that his Dad wouldn’t drop him. He was safe in Jake’s arms. Protected. Loved. It was unusual. He could barely remember the last last time his Dad had held him like this.

“…Hey,” he said quietly.

Jake looked up.

Lo’ak’s ears flicked awkwardly.

“You okay?”

That almost made it worse.

Jake huffed out a laugh.

“Yeah, baby boy.” Jake’s smiled. “I’m good.”

Lo’ak immediately recoiled. “Oh absolutely not.”

Neteyam barked out a laugh.

“Do not call me that in public!”

“You’ll survive.”

“I’ll die actually.”

Jake grinned and squeezed him tighter just to hear the offended noise he made. Lo’ak muttered something deeply disrespectful under his breath.

Neteyam walked beside them shaking his head.

“You know,” he said thoughtfully, “Mom said this would happen eventually.”

Jake narrowed his eyes. “What did she say exactly?”

“That you’d realize we grew up and get weird about it.”

“I am not weird about it.”

“You picked Lo’ak up like a distressed housecat.”

Lo’ak pointed emphatically. “THANK YOU.”

Jake ignored them both.

Neteyam smirked slightly.

“She also said you’d probably start trying to hug us more.”

Jake gasped dramatically. “I would never.”

Both boys stared at him.

Jake immediately tightened his grip around Lo’ak in response.

Lo’ak sputtered. “THIS IS A HUG.”

“Nope. This is tactical transportation.”

“You are holding me like a baby.”

“You love it.”

“I do not.”

Jake raised an eyebrow.

Lo’ak avoided eye contact.

Neteyam immediately noticed.

“Oh my Eywa,” he laughed. “You do.”

“I DO NOT.”

Jake smiled softly.

Because Lo’ak had stopped trying to get down a while ago. In fact, the kid was leaning against him now. Just slightly. But he was. He was relaxed despite all the complaining.

Jake’s chest ached fondly.

“You’re purring,” he said quietly.

Lo’ak jerked upright instantly. “I am not!”

Neteyam looked delighted. “HE IS.”

“I hate this family.”

Jake laughed again, warmth spreading through him.

The forest path narrowed ahead.

He adjusted Lo’ak automatically to avoid brushing him against the rocks.

Protective instinct. Always there. Always would be. Even when they were grown. Especially then.

Neteyam watched the movement carefully.

His expression softened.

Jake noticed.

“What?”

Neteyam shrugged.

“…Nothing.”

“Liar.”

Neteyam hesitated.

Then quieter.

“You haven’t done this in a while.”

Jake’s smile faded into something gentler.

“No,” he admitted.

He hadn’t.

There’d always been training.

Responsibilities.

Missions.

Lessons.

Danger.

Somewhere along the line, the boys had stopped asking to be carried.

And Jake…

Jake had let it happen.

Because that’s what growing up meant, right?

Except now he realized he missed it. Missed them climbing all over him. Missed sleepy cuddles after long days. Missed little hands grabbing for him without hesitation.

Lo’ak noticed the look on his face immediately.

“…Dad.”

Jake blinked.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

Neteyam exchanged a glance with Lo’ak.

Dangerous.

Coordinated.

Jake knew that look.

“Oh no.”

Too late.

Lo’ak suddenly wrapped both arms around Jake’s neck dramatically.

“Thank you for the transportation, mighty warrior.”

Jake nearly choked laughing.

Neteyam added solemnly, “Such strength. Such grace.”

Jake groaned. “You two are the worst.”

“You love us.”

“Unfortunately.”

Lo’ak grinned against his shoulder.

Then softer.

“We love you too.”

Jake stopped walking for half a second.

Just half.

But both boys noticed.

And they smiled.

Neteyam’s expression softened immediately.

Lo’ak’s tail curled loosely around Jake’s wrist. Comforting. Affectionate. Reassuring Jake that he was there.

Jake swallowed hard again.

“Okay,” he muttered. “That’s enough feelings for one day.”

“Too bad,” Lo’ak smirked.

Then he leaned his head against Jake’s shoulder. Just naturally. Just like he used to.

And Jake…

Jake honestly thought his heart might explode.

Neteyam watched them for another few steps before rolling his eyes dramatically.

“This is ridiculous.”

Jake smirked immediately. “You jealous?”

Neteyam scoffed too fast.

“No.”

“Very convincing.”

“I am not jealous.”

Lo’ak grinned wickedly.

“He’s jealous.”

“I am not.”

Jake slowed thoughtfully.

Neteyam narrowed his eyes immediately.

“No.”

Jake smiled.

“Yes.”

Neteyam backed up. “No.”

“You absolutely want uppies.”

“I absolutely do not.”

Lo’ak gasped loudly. “Dad, carry him too.”

Neteyam looked betrayed. “Whose side are you on?”

“The funny side.”

Jake shifted Lo’ak onto one hip. Lo’ak immediately adjusted to make it easier. Holding onto Jake tighter so Jake could have a free hand.

Neteyam looked alarmed.

“Dad.”

“Son.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

“You cannot carry both of us.”

Jake barked out a laugh. “Wanna bet?”

“Do not injure yourself trying to prove a point.”

“That sounds like fear.”

“That sounds like common sense.”

Lo’ak immediately reached for Neteyam from Jake’s arms.

“Come here, brother.”

“I hate both of you.”

“You love us.”

“I tolerate you.”

Jake lunged suddenly.

Neteyam yelped as Jake caught him around the waist.

“NO.”

Jake laughed so hard he almost lost balance.

Neteyam struggled instantly while Lo’ak howled with laughter.

“This is undignified!”

“You’re saying big words because you’re emotional.”

“I am going to throw myself into the ocean.”

Jake managed, somehow, to haul Neteyam partially off the ground while still holding Lo’ak.

It lasted approximately three seconds.

Then Jake nearly toppled sideways.

“Okay,” he admitted through laughter, “maybe you got too big.”

Lo’ak looked deeply smug.

Neteyam escaped immediately, ears burning bright with embarrassment.

“You are both insane.”

Jake wiped tears from his eyes.

Worth it.

Absolutely worth it.

Neteyam crossed his arms but couldn’t stop smiling anymore.

Lo’ak pointed at him triumphantly.

“You wanted him to carry you.”

“I did not.”

“You looked disappointed when he failed.”

Neteyam sputtered incoherently.

Jake grinned.

Caught.

“…Maybe a little,” Neteyam muttered finally.

Lo’ak stared at him in delight.

Jake’s expression softened instantly.

Without a word, he reached out and grabbed Neteyam by the back of the neck gently, pulling him close long enough to kiss the top of his head.

Neteyam froze. Completely froze. Jake released him immediately, doing his best not to laugh at the look on his son’s face. Neteyam stared like his brain had stopped functioning.

Lo’ak lost his mind laughing.

“Oh THAT got him.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re blushing!”

“I AM NOT.”

“You absolutely are.”

Jake shook his head fondly.

Still his boys.

Even now.

Especially now.

The walk home took twice as long because Lo’ak refused to stop complaining dramatically about “public humiliation” while remaining firmly attached to Jake the entire time.

“You can get down whenever you want,” Jake informed him.

“I’m making a point.”

“What point?”

“That you’ve emotionally manipulated me.”

Jake snorted.

Neteyam looked amused. “By loving you?”

“Yes.”

“That’s rough, buddy.”

Lo’ak hissed at him.

Jake couldn’t stop smiling.

Every now and then he’d glance down and still feel that ache in his chest.

Too fast.

Everything moved too fast.

One day they were tiny enough to fit on his shoulders. Next thing he knew they were warriors arguing beside him after patrol.

He hated it a little.

Loved it too.

Because they were good kids.

Strong.

Kind.

Brave.

Even when they drove him insane.

Lo’ak yawned suddenly.

Jake looked down immediately.

“You tired?”

“No.”

Another yawn.

Neteyam smirked. “You used to drool on Dad when he carried you.”

Lo’ak gasped in outrage.

“I did not!”

“You absolutely did.”

Jake nodded solemnly. “Like a waterfall.”

“You are BOTH liars.”

Neteyam grinned.

Jake felt warmth spread through him again.

This.

This right here.

He’d missed this more than he realized.

No stress.

No danger.

Just his sons teasing each other while walking home through the glowing forest.

Family.

Safe.

Together.

Lo’ak shifted slightly against him. Getting comfortable in his dad’s arm while he eyes half closed in contentment. Jake held him automatically. Protective as breathing.

Neteyam noticed again.

“You know,” he said quietly, “we still like hugs.”

Jake looked over sharply.

Neteyam shrugged awkwardly.

“We just stopped asking.”

Jake stared at him.

Something painfully tender twisted in his chest.

“…Why?”

Neteyam looked embarrassed suddenly.

“We got older.”

“And?”

Lo’ak muttered into Jake’s shoulder, “We thought maybe you didn’t want to anymore.”

Jake stopped walking entirely.

Both boys looked at him.

Horrified disbelief crossed Jake’s face instantly.

“Are you kidding me?”

Lo’ak blinked.

“Dad…”

“I will hug you until the day I die.”

Both boys went quiet.

Jake shook his head like the idea offended him personally.

“You’re my sons. You think getting taller changes that?”

Neteyam’s ears flicked back slightly.

Lo’ak looked suspiciously emotional.

Jake immediately tightened one arm around Lo’ak and reached for Neteyam with the other.

“Get over here.”

Neteyam made a soft protesting noise.

Jake ignored him and dragged him sideways into the hug anyway. Suddenly both boys were pressed against him. Gangly limbs everywhere. Tails tangling. Lo’ak squawking because Neteyam elbowed him.

“Your bones are sharp!”

“You’re literally sitting on Dad!”

“And?!”

Jake laughed helplessly and held them tighter anyway.

Big now.

But not too big for this.

Never too big.

Neteyam relaxed first.

Then Lo’ak.

Jake closed his eyes briefly.

There they are.

His boys.

After a moment Lo’ak muttered quietly.

“…Missed this.”

Jake’s heart nearly broke.

Neteyam nodded once.

“Yeah.”

Jake swallowed hard.

Then immediately ruined the emotional moment on purpose.

“Well good, because now I’m gonna become unbearable.”

Both boys groaned loudly.

“Oh no,” Neteyam sighed.

“Daily hugs,” Jake announced.

“I’m moving out,” Lo’ak declared.

“Too bad. I know where you live.”

“That is horrifying.”

Jake grinned.

Neteyam shook his head fondly.

“You’re really emotional about this.”

Jake huffed.

“Maybe I am.”

The boys looked at him softly.

Jake smiled crookedly.

“You guys grew up on me.”

Lo’ak’s expression gentled immediately.

“We’re still here.”

Yeah.

They were.

Jake looked between them and felt overwhelming gratitude hit him all at once. They were here.

Safe.

Alive.

Laughing beside him.

He pulled them both close one last time before finally letting Neteyam go.

Lo’ak stayed exactly where he was.

Jake looked down.

“You planning to walk eventually?”

“No.”

“Your legs broken?”

“Yeah.”

“Tragic.”

Neteyam snorted.

Jake started walking again with Lo’ak still in his arms. Lo’ak curled closer shamelessly now, entirely over pretending he didn’t enjoy it. Neteyam walked beside them smiling quietly.

And Jake, well Jake carried his son through the glowing forest while the other walked at his side, and for the first time in a long while, the ache in his chest didn’t hurt quite so much anymore.

Notes:

Okay so I know this is totally unrealistic but you know, I think it’s cute to think about. Lo’ak and Neteyam are Jake’s baby’s.