Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“Oh my god,” Rose screams at the top of her lungs, so much so that Shane has to wince and pull the phone back from his face. “I can’t believe it. You’re engaged!”

Shane just grins at her expression. They’re on FaceTime while Rose is sitting in the makeup chair getting painted blue. She looks ridiculous, but Shane is used to seeing her in costume, given how constant the reshoots have been. There are times when he despises his job—although not as often as he used to—but he absolutely does not envy Rose for what she has to put up with on a daily basis.

“He is not!” Ilya calls from somewhere in the kitchen, and Shane rolls his eyes.

“Ignore him. He’s being ridiculous.” Shane shakes his head.

“I am not being ridiculous,” Ilya frowns, crossing his arms over his chest as he steps into the room, standing behind the couch to peer at Shane’s phone over his shoulder. “I told you I would entertain your little proposal, but mark my words, it is not going to count as our real proposal. We are not engaged until I have gotten down on one knee and professed my undying love to you.”

“Oh my goodness. Is that the ring on his necklace? Shane,” Rose coos excitedly. “You did so, so well. Ilya, hold it up to the camera. I want to see!”

“Thanks. My mom helped me pick it out,” Shane says proudly as he turns to beckon Ilya closer. Ilya, who is just standing there angrily like a grumpy toddler. “Ilya,” he deadpans. “Can you get over here already? Show her the ring.”

Ilya stands there glaring for a few seconds before he huffs and finally leans in to hold the ring up to Shane’s phone.

“Wait, hold up.” Rose’s eyes go wide. Shane can see one of her blue hands in frame like she’s paused in the middle of a thought. “Is that a tattoo?”

Shane blushes at the sight of Ilya’s new ink on the screen, his palm slightly turned out from where he’s holding the chain of the necklace.

“Ah, yes,” Ilya agrees, looking down at himself before holding his hand up for her to see. He twists his wrist after a moment to show her the other side.

“Ilya. Your mother’s necklace. Oh my god, that is just stunning. You guys.” Rose fans at her face, and Shane feels his heart warm in his chest. “You’re gonna make me cry. That is seriously so sweet.”

“No crying.” Shane hears Rose’s makeup artist tell her warningly, and it pulls a wet laugh out of him.

“Yes. Is becoming quite a mess for me with hockey. I have to be very careful with it,” Ilya sighs, surveying the tattoo in consideration.

That was true. Ilya had been complaining about the washing and taping, but there was really no reason to, since Shane often did a lot of the work for him. After some research, he’d found out that hand tattoos were extremely sensitive and very at risk of getting infected, or even worse, messed up. So, Shane had taken it upon himself to handle the meticulous cleaning routine. He was not going to let Ilya fuck up this tattoo before it had even healed properly.

“Are you guys excited for the club opening? How’s it looking so far?” Rose chimes in.

Shane sighs heavily. “I wish you were coming tonight. It’s going to be a mess having the team there.”

Rose’s eyebrows pinch in confusion, and Ilya snorts.

“He is just upset he can’t go into full kitty mode tonight.”

Shane glares at him before turning back to Rose. “It would’ve been nice to have at least one person who knows, okay? What if I start slipping?”

“You are doing much better at staying up when you need to, котенок.” Ilya rubs over his shoulder, and Shane huffs, but he can’t help leaning into the physical touch.

“I thought you told one of your teammates.” Rose tilts her head in confusion.

Shane blushes as Ilya smirks and gives his shoulder a little shake.

“Ah, yes. Shane is desperate to show Troy all the ins and outs of being a good little sub. He is hoping to have a new puppy to play with.”

“Shut up,” Shane grumbles back, shoving at Ilya’s hand to get it off of him.

He was right, though. Deep down, Shane was really hoping that pet play was something Troy might be into eventually. Or at least interested in trying like Ivan was. But Ivan had years and years of experience, whereas Troy didn’t know anything yet. Troy didn’t even really have a Dom, even though Shane and Ilya were both gunning for him and Harris to get together. But Troy was shy, and Harris was a little too gentle about his approach. Shane could tell they were going to need another push, and he really hoped the club opening would be the thing to get them there. Either way, he didn’t have high hopes that he’d be playing with Troy anytime soon. He would just have to hold out until this weekend, when Ivan and Cedric would be in town for their playdate.

“Well, I’m going to come out and see it soon!” Rose reassures them. “As soon as I can get away from this insane filming schedule. Plus, I still haven’t seen the house or the playroom yet! But how is the club? I’m sure it looks amazing from what Svetlana’s said.”

Shane turns sharply to look at Ilya, finding the other looking down at him with expectant eyebrows that say, Yes, can I help you?

“Rose gets to know about the club, but I don’t?” He demands.

“It is a surprise, моя любовь. It is something that people do when they want to get a big reaction in the moment, hm? Like you did with your little proposal stunt.”

Shane narrows his eyes in annoyance before turning back to Rose.

“Oops. Trouble in paradise,” she laughs. “Sorry, guys. Anyway, let me know if you need my help with any of the details for the wedding. One of the girls just got married recently, and she was raving on and on about the planner they used. I can totally get you her number.”

Shane feels his lips turn up at that. “Yes, please. I have no idea what I’m doing,” he laughs. “I feel like it’s going to be really overwhelming with the hockey season, but we have to get going as soon as possible. I want to get married in the summer.”

Ilya is looking at him with very furrowed eyebrows through the frame of the FaceTime call.

“Excuse me? There will be no wedding until there is an engagement. And there is no engagement until there is a proposal, which I have not done yet.” Ilya points at his chest.

“Ignore him,” Shane sighs. “We obviously need to get started right away, or all of the good venues will be booked.”

“Agreed,” Rose grins, and her face disappears for a second as she does something on her phone, but she reappears a moment later. “I’m going to have Ida send over all her recommendations. Oh, her wedding was just beautiful, Shane. I cannot wait for yours. Is Hayden going to be your best man?”

“Actually,” Shane admits, flushing slightly. “I was sort of hoping you would be my best man. Or…best woman?” He twists his mouth in dissatisfaction. “We can come up with a better name for it.”

“Oh my god!” Rose squeals. “Shane, I would love to. Are you kidding?”

“Well,” Shane laughs. “I figured you’d be a much bigger help than Hayden would. I mean, you seem to know a lot about this kind of stuff.”

Ilya huffs behind him, but Shane keeps his eyes on Rose.

“I would be honored. I’m creating a Pinterest board for your bachelor party as we speak. I’m spending so many hours in the makeup chair these days, but you’ve given me like the perfect project. Ilya, do you know who your best man is going to be?” Rose asks. “We should probably sync up to make sure we’re on the same page.”

“There is no best man yet because there is no wedding,” Ilya reminds everyone once again. “Because there is no engagement, as there has been no proposal.”

Shane rolls his eyes. “I’ll add you to a group text with my mom. She’s really excited about getting involved. She’s already got a shortlist of wedding contacts put together. We can cross-reference with Ida’s list.”

“Perfect!” Rose gets out excitedly. “I can’t wait to start looking at color palettes. Look, I’ve got to go before my makeup artist kills me for moving around so much, but have an amazing time at the new club tonight. Shane, you’re going to love the theme of it, and Ilya, the name is just genius. Honestly. No notes. I can’t wait to come see it in person.”

When Rose ends the call, Shane turns around to face Ilya fully, his gaze more than a little annoyed.

Ilya just raises his eyebrows, and he actually does say it this time. “Yes? Can I help you, котенок?”

“I just don’t get why you’re telling everyone about the club except for me,” Shane says plainly, the dry irritation clear in his tone.

“Who exactly is everyone? I did not tell Rose anything. I told Svetlana. Seeing as she is part-owner of the club, I think it is important to know where her money is going, yes?” Ilya points out, and Shane frowns at the logic.

Mostly, though, he just wants to see the club. Ilya’s been working on it for ages now, disappearing into his office sometimes, calling Shane in to kneel at his feet and warm his cock. If Ilya has phone calls to make, he’ll force Shane to put on headphones and play ocean wave sounds in his ears to keep him from hearing the conversation. Shane hates how deep a headspace that’s sent him into before.

“Meanwhile, you are going around telling everyone in the entire world that we are engaged when I thought we agreed to wait. Or does my proposal mean nothing to you?”

Shane hadn’t been going around telling the entire world, actually. He’d really only told his parents, who already knew he was planning on asking Ilya, and Rose just now. The team didn’t even know, which Shane found surprising considering they’d played a home game since Ilya had started wearing the ring on his necklace. The game was against Long Island, which was a tough team, and they’d lost 3 – 2, but at least they’d put up a good fight by going into overtime. Shane couldn’t be mad at that, even if they still had a lot of work to do to make it to the playoffs this season.

“Look, you can do your proposal whenever you want, Ilya, but the fact of the matter is we agreed we want to get married. There’s a timeline for these sorts of things. It’s already the end of October, which means we’re less than a year out. If we want a summer wedding, we need to start looking at venues. It’s just business.”

“Just business,” Ilya scoffs. “Our marriage is just business now?”

“You know what I mean,” Shane sighs, although clearly Ilya didn’t know. Probably because he hadn’t done the research like Shane had.

“I am not going to rush my proposal just because you are impatient to get started on planning.”

“And that’s fine,” Shane reiterates, because Ilya was really starting to tick him off at this point. “But, like I said, if we want a summer wedding and a proper honeymoon before next season starts up again, time is actually of the essence here. At some point, all of the wedding venues are going to book up.”

Ilya watches him carefully for a second. “You are lucky the team is coming to the club tonight, because if I had my way, you would be on your hands and knees all evening while the humans do all the talking. I am sick of this attitude, and I expect you to be on your best behavior around the guys. I don’t want to hear any talk about this wedding. Understand?”

Shane frowns. “I can’t even tell Troy?”

“Troy is one of the guys, is he not?” Ilya raises a sharp eyebrow. “Unless you are purposely mishearing me, I do not understand the confusion.”

Shane clamps his mouth shut, but he doesn’t hide the exasperation on his face.

“Attitude. Like I said. Cut it out now or there will be consequences. I am done with this conversation.” And then Ilya walks off.

Shane presses his hands over his eyes momentarily while trying to process the many things running around his brain right now. The club opening tonight, another home game tomorrow, his and Ilya’s Halloween party on Saturday, his playdate with Ivan after their home game on Sunday. And then straight into a travel week where they would hit Buffalo, Boston, and New York. It turned out the hockey season was a lot more hectic with a full social life in the BDSM club scene and a fiancé (boyfriend?) who he could never quite escape from. Not to mention wedding planning? God, Shane was in over his head.

All he wanted to do was shut his mind off and be a kitty, but he wasn’t going to have that tonight. At least he would get to see Troy, and Troy wouldn’t mind treating him extra nice. Troy, who had been texting him all day about the club, asking him questions as if Shane knew a single thing. The only thing he knew was that Ilya would be picking his outfit, and they’d go to see the club a little bit before everyone got there in time for the big friends and family opening.

Shane honestly had no idea who the “friends and family” were. It’s not like his parents were invited, and sure, Svetlana was in town, but who else did that leave? Just the team? Shane feels nervousness burn in his tummy at the way his two worlds were about to collide.

When it’s finally time to start getting ready, Ilya hands him a dark blue, short-sleeve button-up shirt that has a slight shimmer to the fabric. It’s pretty, and in his size, which means Ilya bought it for him. Shane tries not to let his pout show on his face. He figured he’d be in Ilya’s clothes tonight. Ilya notices and slides a hand around his hip as he helps Shane into a pair of black pants that fit comfortably on the inside, but look wet and slick on the outside. Shane holds onto his shoulders and tries not to cry. He hates that they’re fighting.

Well, not fighting, exactly. Shane and Ilya didn’t really fight very often. But sometimes, they did disagree, and Shane didn’t understand why Ilya didn’t want to scream their engagement from the rooftops. Was he really that prideful about proposing himself? Was he really so upset that Shane had beaten him to it?

“You are radiating loud thoughts, моя любовь,” Ilya tells him, like he can read Shane’s mind, as always.

Shane frowns and waits until Ilya stands to his full height before he holds his neck securely. “Why don’t you want to tell people we’re engaged?” Shane asks, his voice quiet.

Ilya’s eyes soften as he pulls Shane a little closer to him. “I do want to tell people we’re engaged.”

“But what?” Shane’s eyebrows furrow together in confusion, and Ilya lets out a sigh.

“I just…” he pauses, shaking his head for a moment, but Shane ducks a little to meet his gaze. “I wanted to be the one to propose. I know it is stupid, and I know it should not matter, but I have envisioned getting down on one knee for you for as long as I can remember.”

Shane swallows thickly, pressing his fingers through the back of Ilya’s curls.

“I know you said I can still do my proposal, but…if we are telling people we are engaged and planning the wedding, it feels like it does not mean anything. It feels like we are already past it. Already moving forward. I wanted to declare my love for you very loudly…in a way you would remember for the rest of your life.”

“Ilya,” Shane voices lightly. “You do declare your love for me very loudly. And it doesn’t matter if we’re already engaged. Your proposal is still going to mean just as much to me as it would have if you beat me to it. I’m still going to remember it for the rest of my life.”

Ilya scrunches his nose up in frustration, so Shane carefully tips his chin in order to meet his gaze.

“Is this like a Dom thing?” Shane wonders aloud. “You’re upset that I’ve been taking control of this?”

Ilya shuts his eyes momentarily.

Shane lets one of his hands glide down Ilya’s neck and across his strong shoulder. He’s shirtless. He’s beautiful. He’s everything Shane never knew he needed. He fucking loves him. He doesn’t get why Ilya’s upset about him wanting to plan the wedding instead of just being so, so happy that they’re having one.

“I want to worship you. I want to provide for you. To be the strong man who takes care of you, and sweeps you off your feet—”

“You do, you are. I fucking need you. I need you more than anything. And right now, I need you to stop being cold to me and just…be excited. We both said yes to spending the rest of our lives together. I mean, I thought you would be ecstatic. You’ve been wanting this for so long.”

“I am,” Ilya assures him. “Fuck, I am so ecstatic. I just…Jesus. I don’t know. I am feeling very weird about it. Like I am not in control. It feels like I am not a part of it or something.”

Shane buries his face in Ilya’s neck before he can stop himself. It’s killing him to see his owner like this. When all Shane wants is for Ilya to be happy and giddy and calling him a good boy for doing all the research, for wanting to make their wedding as beautiful as possible.

“You are so fucking part of it. I didn’t mean to make you feel excluded. I just wasn’t sure how into this type of stuff you are. Like. The venue, and the flowers, and the cake.”

“Cake?” Ilya pulls back slightly to look at him. “We are allowed to have cake at our wedding? Who are you and what have you done with Shane Hollander?”

Shane just laughs and nuzzles closer, rubbing his face against Ilya’s soft skin. “Course we’re gonna have cake. We’re gonna have everything. I want it to be the best night of our lives. We deserve this, yeah? We’ve been through so much. I just want to have the most magical day where it’s all about us and our love.”

-

Ilya’s heart is threatening to beat out of his chest. Shane is right. There are more important things than who proposed to who. In fact, the most important thing was that Shane wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Forever. How could Ilya be upset for even a single second when that was the case?

“I’m sorry for being stupid,” he admits, rubbing his hand along the skin of Shane’s lower back. “If you want to start planning the wedding, then I think we should. And I will…I will try not to be so controlling about it.”

Shane huffs into his neck and presses his teeth in slightly. “I want you to be in control. You’re the one paying for it, aren’t you?”

And, oh right. Ilya was the one who would be paying for this fantastic event. This very expensive and extravagant display of their love. He feels a newfound fire flare in his belly.

“Mm, yes. So, you are going to have to run everything by me then, aren’t you? You will have to get my approval on everything if you expect me to write you a check.”

He feels Shane smile into his shoulder. “Yes, Alpha.”

That makes Ilya feel a lot better. Shane couldn’t do this on his own. He still needed him. He was just doing what he always did: making a plan to ensure his brilliant vision became a reality. And his vision was to marry Ilya loud and proud in front of all their family and friends.

“Well, then, I expect my kitten to throw us the best wedding of all time. I am going to have to see how you are handling all of your kitten tasks, and then I will have to reward you or punish you depending on how they are executed.”

He’s delighted when he feels Shane shiver in his arms. Tonight was going to be so fucking good. He doesn’t want them to be fighting. Rather, tonight would be all about slowly introducing the boys to their dynamic. Svetlana would be there, of course, and Ilya had a surprise guest coming in early to see Shane as well, but mostly, they would just hang out with their team. Relax after an extremely tough week. They had certainly earned it, and Ilya knew there was so much more to come this weekend before they were back on the road for their next round of away games.

He leaves Shane with a series of kisses pressed across his cheeks, and especially his pretty, pink lips, before disappearing into the closet to put on his own outfit: a sheer, light blue button-up long-sleeve shirt that had smatterings of darker blue and green printed throughout. He had sent out outfit requirements for the boys ahead of time. All blue to match the beautiful décor of his new club. He couldn’t wait to show Shane what he has spent all this time working on. Especially the new playroom.

When it’s time to go, Ilya picks Shane up in his arms and kisses him breathless all the way until they get to the garage. He deposits Shane into the passenger seat of his bright orange Porsche and then places a possessive hand on his thigh as he revs the engine. He knew Shane was upset about not getting to be his full kitten self tonight, but with Troy and Svetlana in attendance, as well as Ilya’s surprise guest, he had a strong feeling that Shane would get to go down at least a little bit. And maybe, just maybe, they could start warming the guys up to the idea of having a team kitty cat.

The club is not too far away, only about a ten-minute drive, which Ilya is grateful for. It would be so fucking nice having a place nearby to host events, even better if Troy and Harris or some of the other guys wanted to get involved. For Shane’s sake, at least, Ilya really hoped he could make that happen for him. Shane desperately needed a community. He needed more subs around to remind him that he really could have the best of both worlds. Troy and Harris. That was the goal. Plus, it would be helpful to have more friends who were in a pairing. Ivan and Cedric were great, but they were two hours away in Montreal, so it didn’t make setting up playdates very easy. Still, they would have their first one this weekend, and Ilya knew Shane was eagerly looking forward to that. They both were.

Ilya watches Shane’s eyes as they pull up to the building that will be their new home away from home. From the outside, it was nothing special, but on the inside, Ilya knew a whole other world awaited them.

Svetlana had done most of the work on the Montreal club, but the Ottawa club, now that was Ilya’s baby. He had spent countless hours working with the interior designers, working with the contractors on the floor plan, shopping for things to make each playroom extra special. The entire club had been made with Shane in mind, and Ilya couldn’t wait to show off the fruits of his labor.

“Drift,” Shane comments, noting the name in blue cursive swooping letters.

Ilya smiles and leans over to press a kiss to his cheek before getting out of the car. He appreciates when Shane doesn’t get out, instead letting Ilya run around to the other side to open his door for him. So, yeah. Maybe Ilya was feeling a little extra needy after Shane’s proposal, a little desperate to reclaim control after his kitten had taken things into his own hands. It’s not that Ilya minded that Shane wanted to propose. Obviously, he was over the moon, but there were certain things that felt like they should fall to him as the man of the house. The Dominant. The provider. Ilya wanted to be in charge of fucking everything. He didn’t want Shane to ever have to stress or think or worry. And this evening, he was committed to claiming some of that control back. Reasserting himself in a way.

Ilya pulls Shane into an intense kiss by his waist, warmth gliding through his body as Shane sinks into his arms and gets a little weak in the knees. Now, that was more like it. Ilya was starting to feel like himself again. In his element. He needed the club to feel sane sometimes. As much as he and Shane had a lifestyle dynamic, there were still so many things that were out of his control. He couldn’t actually expect Shane to check in with him before every single thing he did. Peeing, showering, proposing. But at the club, Ilya could ask those things of him. Ilya could take control fully and completely. He could order Shane to crawl on his hands and knees in a crowded room full of people or request that Shane wear a gag all night until he was drooling and fuzzy in front of everyone. Ilya wouldn’t request that, not tonight at least, but the fact that he could made him feel a lot more confident in himself. As a partner and as a Dom.

“C’mon, baby. I’m so excited to show you,” Ilya tells him, pulling back to squeeze his hands slightly, and he’s happy to see that Shane’s eyes are a little glassy, like maybe he’s experiencing the same wants and desires as Ilya is right now. “You wanna see?”

Shane nods jerkily and licks over his wet lips. “So badly.”

Ilya wraps a possessive arm around his shoulders and pulls him in close before walking towards the front door. The security guard isn’t on duty yet, since they’re here early, so Ilya reaches into his pocket for the key and then unlocks the door, holding it open for Shane first before reattaching himself to Shane’s side as they step in.

The first thing they see is a blue hallway that looks like they’re walking on the bottom of the ocean floor. The ceiling above them is painted and lit in a way that makes it seem like they’re underwater, and the ground is a beautiful blue marble that makes Shane’s jaw drop.

“Ilya,” Shane says breathlessly, and they’ve barely even stepped inside.

Ilya just squeezes him and lets Shane take his time as they walk through the entryway, trying to process everything for the first time through Shane’s eyes.

“This is so beautiful,” Shane whispers, and Ilya’s heart soars.

“All of it is for you. You are my inspiration. My muse,” Ilya tells him softly, and Shane stops walking to bury his face in Ilya’s chest. “We have barely seen anything yet, котенок.” But Shane doesn’t seem to care. He’s feeling emotional, which is just the reaction Ilya was looking for.

Ilya feels pretty emotional, too, to be fair. He’s been working on this place for a while now, and it had been so difficult not to gush to Shane about all of the wonderful things he had planned for their future here in Ottawa, their new home. But surprising Shane was something they both enjoyed too much, and the way Shane reacted to each surprise Ilya planned for him was always absolutely priceless.

“I just love you so much, and I want everyone to know it. I want everyone to know how good you are to me. How amazing you are in general, I just. It kills me that people don’t know,” Shane says into his skin, and Ilya can tell he’s close to tears, so he pets over his hair soothingly.

“Everyone will know how great we are together one day. There will come a time when no one can say the names Ilya Rozanov or Shane Hollander without mentioning the other,” he assures Shane, even though it had been that way for most of their careers now. It seemed even the general public realized how potent their chemistry was, even if they did not yet understand all of the many different ways in which it was true. “Can I show you more, baby? We have not even scratched the surface.”

Shane sniffles and nods, so Ilya pulls him into a kiss before walking him further into the club, and when they finally get to the main room, Shane gasps.

There’s a giant fish tank with sound-protective glass spanning across one of the main walls, a whole fleet of exotic, colorful fish swimming along the inside of it. Ilya could picture his kitten sitting in front of it some days, pawing at the glass while he tried to catch the swishing little creatures. He thinks Shane is probably fantasizing about the same thing, if the way he grabs onto Ilya’s shirt is anything to go off of.

The ceiling is painted to look wet and glassy to go along with the theme, and the bar is lit up with vibrant aqua sea glass that makes the whole room glow as if it were bioluminescent. The floor has panels with different screens that move like the ocean waves beneath them, reacting to footsteps by creating little indents in the water. Ilya feels pride at seeing it all come to life before him.

There are seating areas of couches with crushed teal velvet, extravagant chandeliers that hang from the ceiling with massive arrangements of coral in soothing shades of orange. On one of the walls hangs an expansive fisherman’s net that will serve as a rig for any rope demonstrations they hope to hold in the near future. Other parts of the wall are draped with hanging seaweed and kelp, anything Ilya could think of that would help make the underwater scene feel a little more real. The entire club is lit with streaks of blue, purple, and pink, casting moving shadows across the space to really bring some life to it. And every so often, a whale might pass through, or perhaps a shark will shoot by, making the walls vibrate and shake as soft, muted sounds of sea creatures interrupt what will otherwise be blaring music from the DJ. But for now, it’s peaceful. Calming. Immersive.

Ilya isn’t expecting it when Shane suddenly drops to his knees and hugs him around the legs, effectively burying himself in Ilya’s waist.

“Baby,” Ilya swallows, his hand immediately coming to card through Shane’s soft hair. But Shane is speechless and a little shaky, so Ilya just comforts him until he can find his words. “You must know by now that you are everything to me.”

Shane sobs at that, and Ilya can’t take not holding him, so he drops to the ground as well, sitting to pull Shane into his arms as the other immediately comes apart.

“Oh, you are so precious.” God, Ilya couldn’t explain how much he loved seeing him cry. For others, it might mean that something was terribly wrong, but for Shane specifically, it meant that he was overwhelmed, usually in a good way. He could get so emotional that his feelings had no choice but to literally spill out of him. Cause sometimes Shane couldn’t find the words.

Ilya was showing him levels of love that he had never encountered before. Ilya, himself, doesn’t even know how he’s managed to conjure up so much of it. Perhaps it came from years of desperately wishing he had someone to come home to. Someone to put all his energy into during the times when he felt like there was no place for him in this world. No reason for him to exist. But Shane had changed all of that. Shane gave him purpose. Shane was his reason.

“Y-you do so…s-so many big gestures,” Shane sucks in a stuttered breath. “Everything you do is a proposal of your love. You love me so…so loudly. I don’t know what I did to deserve all of this.”

Ilya wants to start crying with him. It seemed they both felt undeserving; they both struggled with recognizing their worth. Ilya thought that Shane hung the moon, sun, and all of the stars, but sometimes, the way Shane reacted to things, it was like Shane thought the same of him. Even though Ilya knew that couldn’t be true. He didn’t contain nearly a fraction of the Golden Boy’s greatness, but he supposed it was a good thing that they each failed to understand the importance of what they could offer one another. It made the give and take of their relationship that much more special, had that little extra element of surprise—like Shane proposing to him, for one.

Ilya had been upset, mostly because he hadn’t expected it, couldn’t plan for it, and, therefore, couldn’t categorize what it meant. Had Shane been expecting him to propose and grown impatient because Ilya hadn’t yet? Did he not trust that Ilya had a plan? Was he doubting Ilya’s love for him? But no, Ilya could see it all for what it was now. Shane had wanted to give him something back. An offering of his love in ways he didn’t normally serve to Ilya on a platter.

Because, normally, Ilya had to work for it. He had to think through all of Shane’s complicated preferences, had to take into account their limitations as a couple who were not publicly out, had to plan for each and every scenario that came with Shane being a cat, and a perfectionist, and a nervous fucking wreck at times.

Maybe that was why Ilya questioned anything that came easy. He’s always had to fight for the people in his life; they rarely ever fought for him. So, Shane’s proposal had triggered red alarm bells in his head. What was the trick? What was the deeper meaning? Why had their dynamic shifted this time, for this specific occurrence? He feels silly now that he knows the answer is quite simple. Shane loved him. Loved him enough to want to try and replicate Ilya’s big, grand gestures, even though it was slightly out of his comfort zone. Just because he knew how good Ilya could make him feel by professing his love—loudly, and sometimes, obnoxiously— he had wanted to try and offer Ilya the same. But as endearing as it was, Ilya didn’t need that from Shane. He just needed to have him. Shane’s love—and god, his submission—that was more than enough.

“You deserve it just by loving me so well in return,” Ilya tells him honestly, as he rubs Shane’s back, holding him so fucking close. “And I get so much out of it, too. Just seeing you react like this…you have no idea how much you mean to me. How fulfilled I am by making you happy. I want to be responsible for all the good things in your life.”

-

Ilya was responsible for all the good things in Shane’s life. And Shane used to think his life was fucking grand, but it was like Ilya had opened up a whole new world for him. A world he hadn’t even realized was so big and beautiful and waiting for him to dive into. Not just the club, but hockey, too. His new friends. Getting to live authentically without fear.

Shane sucks in a heavy breath and pulls back slightly to look at Ilya’s face, his own teary and puffy and messy with emotion. How was it possible that he stumbled across the most perfect human in existence? Ilya got better every single day. He was so selfless, so detail-oriented in the way he cared for others, gave up so much of his time and attention without asking for anything in return. Shane wanted to bow at his feet, kiss the ground he walked upon, give himself over in every single way that existed. How could he ever give Ilya back what Ilya had given him?

“You’re so fucking amazing, and you don’t even know it,” Shane hiccups another sob as he clutches onto Ilya’s neck tightly. “I don’t…I can’t—” he drops his forehead to Ilya’s shoulder, trying to get himself together and failing miserably. How the fuck is he supposed to express the painful mass of feeling that lives inside of him? The one that grows every day and threatens to burst with each step he takes, until he positively explodes and leaks love for Ilya all over the floor, drowning the entire Earth in it. “I love you so much. You—”

“It’s okay, baby,” Ilya is saying to him so gently. “I understand. You don’t have to put it into words for me to understand. I can see it in the way you look at me, the way you get so overwhelmed by everything I offer you.”

Fuck. Shane was overwhelmed. He feels like he’s going to have a panic attack with how much he needs to submit to him right now. He needs something. He needs—

“Hey,” Ilya tells him sharply all of a sudden. “You are okay, just breathe for me. Everything’s okay, hm? You wear my collar everywhere you go. There is no question of how much you love me. You asked me to marry you, sweetheart. And I said yes, didn’t I? Even though I was so fucking scared about what that meant. Because sometimes I see my baby kitten taking big human steps, and I worry that you’re no longer going to need me the way I need you. I worry that, as things in your life start to get better, you’re not going to rely on our dynamic as much. That maybe you’re just going to want me a normal amount rather than to be fucking consumed by me the way I would prefer—”

“Never,” Shane cuts in around a gasp. “I’m always going to need this. I’m yours, forever and ever. I’m never going to stop wanting to be your котенок.”

Ilya just smiles against him and cards his fingers through Shane’s hair. “Then, we are exactly on the same page. You never have to worry about proving that to me, you know? You give yourself over to me in so many ways. You may not always show me with your words, or with big declarations, but you show me in the way you listen. The way you respond to everything I give you. We are different, yes? We express ourselves differently. We process things differently. This is one of the reasons we are so good together, hm?”

Shane sniffles and nods his agreement, dragging his tongue across Ilya’s neck.

“Ah, you see? This is one way my kitten loves to show me affection. Your kitten licks mean so much more to me than any human words you could ever string together. You would not question if a pet loves you just because they cannot speak it. We accept each other’s limitations. We each give what we are able to, don’t we?”

Shane loves him so fucking much. He still isn’t sure Ilya understands, still isn’t sure he’s ever going to want to stop proving it to him, but that’s okay. For now, Ilya does get it to some degree, and Shane still had so much time to keep making it clear.

“I am going to take this to mean you approve of the club.”

Shane lets out a wet laugh and practically tackles him to the floor, settling on top of his stomach as Ilya lies back. “The club is fucking amazing. God, Ilya. You’re just…you’re incredible. Everything you do is incredible.”

Ilya smirks up at him, giving Shane’s hips a squeeze. “Full marks already? You have not even seen my new playroom yet.”

Shane dives forward to nuzzle against him, rubbing his face and hair all over the expanse of Ilya’s neck as Ilya laughs and holds him impossibly close.

“I know, I know. It is very exciting. But if you are expecting me to let you be a kitten for a little bit before everyone gets here, then we should probably go take a look, hm?” He questions, and Shane sits up immediately, his eyes impossibly wide.

He tips his head, and if he had ears on right now, they’d be twitching in excitement. He wants to be a kitten so bad. He wants to rub his face all over Ilya’s crotch, wants to sniff him and bite him, and be a slave to his every desire. He wants to crawl at Ilya’s feet tonight. Wants to say fuck it and go down as far as possible, leaving Ilya to explain to the guys why he’s leading Shane around by a leash. Wants Ilya to say Shane is so brain-dead and love-drunk that he can’t process a single thought.

Ilya has a knowing look in his eyes, like he’s following every thought that crosses Shane’s mind. Like he has the subtitles on even though he’s watching his favorite show with the sound off.

Ilya helps him to his feet, and Shane’s knees are fucking wobbling. He feels at risk tonight, like there’s no way he’s going to be able to stay up with everything that’s happened in the past week. The near-death experience. Their engagement. Ilya’s tattoo.

Holy fuck. Ilya’s tattoo would be on full show for the guys tonight. How the fuck was he going to explain it? Was he just going to come right out and say that Shane’s necklace was a collar and Ilya had gotten it tattooed on him as a way of showing his ownership? And if he didn’t say that, how would the guys not make the connection? They had to know, right? How could they not? It seemed so glaringly obvious, to Shane at least, but maybe his brain was a little predisposed towards this type of thing. His breathing picks up again.

“Easy, Shane,” Ilya tells him groundingly, and Shane swallows as he tries to keep himself together.

He focuses on the feeling of Ilya’s hand on his back. He focuses on the soft ocean sounds drifting through the most beautiful club he’s ever seen in his life. He focuses on the gentle vibrations of the whale sounds coursing through the walls. But it only makes him feel more frenzied, more out of control. He needs to submit to Ilya so badly. He needs to show him how happy he’s making Shane feel.

“I know. It has been an eventful week for us, hasn’t it? We have not had much of a break recently,” Ilya acknowledges as Shane tucks further into his side. “It’s okay if you are extra cuddly tonight. The guys already know you are a sweet little angel. And Troy is going to be here, right? If you are feeling like a kitten, you can talk to him. Plus…Ivan is going to be here.”

Shane’s head shoots up. Ivan? Ivan is coming??? But Ivan isn’t supposed to be here until Sunday. Ivan and Cedric! For their playdate. He’s coming tonight??? Since when? What is going on!!!

Ilya squeezes the back of his neck, and Shane moans while sinking back into submission. “We are not going to play with Ivan tonight, baby. That is for Sunday, yes? But he was able to come into town a little earlier, and he wanted to see you, so I said he should come.”

“Ivan,” Shane whines desperately, clinging to Ilya as he pleads.

“No, sweetheart. He is not going to be a puppy tonight, and you are not going to be a kitty either—”

Shane lets out a wounded noise.

“Okay, you are always a kitty,” Ilya relents. “But you are going to need to be on your best human behavior tonight.”

Shane was also always on his best behavior, although maybe not necessarily in the human sense, but he couldn’t fucking wait to see Ivan. Holy shit. Ivan was going to get to meet Troy, too. Now, it really felt like all of his worlds were colliding.

“Are you ready to see my new playroom?” Ilya asks as they stop in front of a door. The outside is covered in silky, ruched, aqua fabric pulled into shapes of diamonds with little holographic fish scales scattered throughout. Shane feels like he’s about to enter into another dimension.

When Ilya opens the door, Shane is grateful for the hands securing him around the waist because he’s pretty sure he might pass out any moment now. The playroom…it looks like something out of a dream.

The first thing Shane notices are the large, 3D, glass-blown jellyfish hanging over the bed, with blue, wavy tulle pieces of fabric that extend down to the floor, strings of beaded crystal woven in between. The bedding is ethereal, different shades of blue coming into play depending on how the shadows of the jellyfish lights play across them. There are starfish pillows and a little plush seahorse that Shane can’t wait to hold close to his chest. There’s colorful fish painted on the walls, each of them wearing a welcoming smile that makes Shane’s heart ache. And to top it all off, there’s a crushed velvet couch that looks like the coziest thing he’s ever seen in his life. It’s Ilya’s playroom, so Shane’s sure there’s more to it than that, more technical stuff, but this is all Shane can process right now. He feels like a mermaid kitty.

He turns around and collapses fully into Ilya’s chest, nearly knocking him off his feet with the force of it, as Shane has a full-on mental breakdown in his arms.

“Alright, come here. You’re okay,” Ilya is telling him from some far-off, distant place. And Shane feels his feet lift off the ground as Ilya picks him up by the hips and carries him further into the room. They’re sitting at some point, but Shane can’t see any part of the world around him. He thinks if he tries to look, he’s just going to wind up crying harder, and they’re never going to make it to this opening tonight.

Ilya fucking Rozanov. Does his greatness know no bounds? Maybe Ilya should be the one planning this wedding. Ilya with his impeccable taste and his god-awfully brilliant ideas. Shane doesn’t even want to imagine what his proposal would look like. It would probably send him into a coma. Send him into an early grave. Perhaps Shane should get surgery to have cat ears physically attached to his head. To add something to his throat that will make his vocal cords rumble with a loud purr every time Ilya does something gobsmackingly fantastic. He’d never fucking shut up if that were the case. He’d be vibrating with happiness at every second of the day. God, he needs his tattoo fast. He needs to mark himself permanently as Ilya’s good, good boy.

Ilya just holds him tight to his chest, grounding Shane with soft words and firm touches. He’s sending Shane down even further; Shane wonders if he realizes that, or if Shane is just that fucking affected right now that anything would. But Ilya is petting him so slowly. Scratching at his hair. Talking to him like his brain can’t understand words. That’s accurate, actually. His brain can’t.

But, eventually, Shane’s breathing starts to even out. His tears start to dry up, not because he’s not still emotional, but because it’s wearing him out. Being so endlessly in love is exhausting. He feels it all through his body.

And the next thing he knows, he’s waking up. He’s cuddled up in bed in the softest sheets known to man and—

Shane sits up and looks around frantically. Ilya. Where the fuck is Ilya? Ilya is gone. Ilya isn’t with him. Ilya left him. He’s alone in the most beautiful bed in the world, and Ilya is nowhere to be found. Shane clutches onto his collar tightly to make sure he didn’t imagine the last few months. Holy fuck. That would be quite the wake-up call, wouldn’t it? No Ilya. No Ottawa. No Centaurs. No being a kitten.

If that were true…if Shane woke up and it was all a dream, he’d have started sprinting to Ilya’s house. To Ilya’s club. Would have hopped on a plane to Boston if he had to. If that’s somehow where Ilya was.

Where the fuck was Ilya? Shane feels his heart pounding in his chest. He feels his lower lip start to wobble. He feels crazy. Out of control. He doesn’t know what to do with himself if Ilya isn’t here. He’s two seconds away from letting out the most ungodly screaming-crying sound when the door to the playroom snicks open, and then, Ilya is there. Right before his eyes. Shane practically throws himself at him.

“You were gone,” Shane sobs desperately.

“Hey. It is okay. I am right here. I was just getting you some water, моя любовь. I have not stocked the fridge in here yet.”

Shane can feel the water bottle digging into his back as Ilya holds him closely.

“I thought I dreamed the whole thing,” Shane cries, his body shaking with the revelation that it is real. He hadn’t made it up in his head. “You. The club. Being your котенок. Everything.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Ilya’s voice is filled with pain.

“I thought…I thought I was back in Montreal. Playing with the Voyageurs still. I thought it never happened. I thought—”

Ilya bites his neck sharply, and Shane goes lax in his arms all at once. Holy fuck.

“You are here. This is real. I am yours. Okay? I am sorry for disappearing on you. I am sorry for ever making you doubt that.”

Shane is feeling fuzzy again. Or maybe he never stopped. Maybe his feelings for Ilya are just too intense that he only has a few modes: out of his mind, freaking out and crying, or brainless and unresponsive to anyone except his owner. But somehow, he needed to access his hockey mode right now. He needed to lock the fuck in. He needed to be a human around the guys because Ilya had said so.

Shane is getting hard in his pants. He wants to hump Ilya into oblivion. He wants to be made into a mindless slut for him. He wants Ilya to fuck his throat until it’s raw. He wants Ilya to let Ivan and Troy and every fucking person in this place watch.

“Baby,” Ilya says unsurely, like he has no idea how they’re going to get Shane together in time for the club opening, which, if Shane had to guess, must be happening very soon. He doesn’t know how long he’s been asleep for. The playroom feels like a frozen time trap.

Shane sucks on the fabric of Ilya’s shirt to try and soothe himself.

-

Shane is in quite a state tonight. Maybe it’s because he feels safe in the new club, extra cared for on account of all the things Ilya has been planning for him, but still, Ilya hadn’t been expecting this reaction.

He’s grateful that Troy and Ivan are both going to be in attendance this evening because they were going to have to serve as Ilya’s point people if Shane started to go down again. He’s also glad that the guys have already been prepped for this. They didn’t know Shane was a kitten, but they knew he could be quiet. Affectionate. Oddly clingy sometimes. They were probably going to see a lot of that tonight, if Ilya had to guess.

Ilya tips his chin up so Shane is forced to look at him through his very hazy eyes. “I am going to need you to be my little helper tonight.”

Shane turns to try and bite at his hand. Ilya can’t resist smiling, but he gives him a pinch on the back of his neck to grab his attention again.

“This is Troy’s first night at a club like this. He is probably going to be very nervous. Same with Ivan, hm? He does not know any of the boys,” Ilya explains, scratching lightly at the back of Shane’s hair. “I am going to need you to stay with them all night and make sure they are okay, yes? Can you be a good boy for me and do that? If you are not with me, you need to be with Troy or Ivan. Otherwise, they may get scared, and we will not be able to play with them again.”

Ilya watches as Shane’s eyes go wide in alertness.

“Do you understand?” Ilya looks him over in consideration. “If you are not with me, you are with Troy or Ivan. I need you to be a good kitten and stay with them so they feel safe.”

That was not entirely true. Mostly, Ilya was giving Shane a task so that he had something to keep him grounded. When he was at risk of not being Ilya’s good boy, Shane could get very focused very fast. He could develop an almost laser-like attentiveness to whatever task Ilya had assigned to him. And right now, he needed Shane to stick to his safety humans if there was ever a point that Ilya needed to step away.

They’re doing a friends and family soft opening, but for the rest of his staff, this is a full-out run-through. He’s got new bartenders, new security guards, and most importantly, a new manager, Anastasia. She was nice, friendly, but no nonsense. She would be in charge of the place when Ilya couldn’t be there, which was honestly going to be more often than not. With their hectic hockey schedule, he didn’t have time to commit to running the club day-to-day, and Svetlana had her own businesses to manage in Montreal. Mostly, Ilya would handle big-ticket items. Events. Policies. Executive decisions. The point is, as much as this is just a little shindig for their people, Ilya was still technically working tonight. Helping the staff work out all the kinks—no pun intended—before they opened fully to the wider public.

Shane is still looking at him in confusion, so Ilya gives his cheek a soft stroke with his thumb. “You want Troy and Ivan to feel safe, don’t you, baby? So they can come back to play with you?”

That Shane seems to understand, at least, seeing as he nods his head jerkily.

“Then, I am going to need you to be very nice to them. Stay close to them. Make sure they are having a good time, okay? I need you to be a very good kitten for them. Can you let me know that you understand?”

Shane responds by turning slightly to lick at Ilya’s wrist.

“Good boy,” Ilya praises, giving his cheek another stroke. “It’s okay if you want to be quiet around the guys. They already know you can be like that sometimes. You’re gonna be safe here. It is just people we know.” Ilya lets go of Shane for a second when his phone buzzes in his pocket. “Ah, that is Svetlana.” He reaches to give Shane a rub over his side. “Are you okay if we go say hello to her? You like Svetlana, don’t you, sweetheart?”

Shane just smiles and drops his head to Ilya’s chest. He’s feeling sweet. Maybe a little silly. Nothing that’s setting off any major alarm bells in Ilya’s head.

“Okay,” he says decisively. “We are going to go see her. You are going to hold my hand, and if something is wrong, I need you to let me know. Do you remember your paw squeezes with your kitty claws?” Ilya asks him. “Can you give me the squeeze for green, baby?”

Ilya feels relief when Shane digs his nails into his hand once.

“And the squeeze for yellow and red?”

Shane digs his nails in and holds it.

“Good boy,” Ilya breathes, pulling Shane close to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Alright, we are going now.”

Ilya was excited to see Svetlana. If there was one person he was dying to tell about their engagement, it was her. She was the only person in the world who knew what this meant to him. She had been with Ilya through all the many ups and downs of his Shane obsession. He remembers crying in her lap when the articles about Shane and Rose being engaged first came out. They were disproven, of course, but for those couple of days, Ilya had been a wreck. His Shane…engaged to a woman. A fucking movie star. A movie star who Ilya now owed everything to for finally getting Shane to come to his club. God, he was going to have to send her a fruit basket. Or maybe do some digging on Svetlana. Apparently, he was fucking BDSM Cupid lately; he’s been taking on a lot of clients.

Ilya keeps Shane tucked under his arm as they head back out into the main area, and it’s like Shane is seeing the place for the first time through his kitten eyes. He’s reacting to the fish exactly the way Ilya had hoped he would. His eyes widen when the first whale passes through, and Ilya smiles at the way it makes Shane gravitate closer to him, like he’s a little scared of all the sea creatures. Ilya just pretends they’re attached at the hip and kisses into his hair.

“There are my two lovebirds,” comes Svetlana’s voice from across the room. “Ilyusha, you have really outdone yourself with this place. I think I like it even better than the mock-up you showed me.”

Ilya smiles and looks around the room proudly. “It came together quite nicely, didn’t it? It is very good to see you.” He doesn’t let go of Shane as he leans in to hug her with his free arm.

“It is amazing to see you, too. I am excited to meet some of your teammates. It is so nice you are finally starting to play well together. I was getting a bit of secondhand embarrassment, you know? I am used to cheering for a winning team.”

Ilya rolls his eyes and then gives Shane’s back a little rub. “Baby, can you say hi to Sveta?”

Shane leans his head against Ilya’s shoulder and juts his lower lip out slightly.

“Hi, sweet котенок. I feel like I rarely ever see you human anymore,” Svetlana coos at him, her expression warm and fond.

“Well, he is human tonight. Or at least he is supposed to be. Call him Shane, please,” Ilya requests, even though it makes Shane turn to burrow his face into Ilya’s chest. “I know, I know, but we need to do our best to stay up, sweetheart. We have a long evening ahead of us.” Ilya rubs at his shoulder before turning to Svetlana again. “I did not anticipate him getting so emotional in response to all of this.”

Svetlana laughs as if Ilya is clueless. “I am sure it has more to do with the ring around your neck!”

Oh, right. That. Ilya can’t help the way his lips curl up in reaction.

“You are engaged?” She breaks into a big smile.

“We are,” Ilya relents, his voice going soft because wow. Saying it out loud makes it feel really real.

“Ilya. I am so happy for you,” Svetlana gushes, gripping onto his hand tightly as she leans in to get a look at the ring. Her eyes drift to Shane for a second, and then back to Ilya a moment later. “But you are the one wearing it. Did…did Shane propose to you?”

Ilya huffs out a laugh. “Yes, we have already gotten into a big fight over it. He knows I am still going to do my proposal, but unfortunately, he beat me to it.”

Svetlana shakes her head in disbelief. “You two are very perfect for each other. I am so glad everything worked out. And I am glad you’re safe. I was terrified when I heard about what happened with the—”

Ilya cuts her off with an urgent look that says, please don’t bring up the crash. He and Shane were both doing a lot better with the aftermath of everything, but Ilya honestly did not trust Shane’s mental state right now. He was more emotional and sensitive than usual, and adding the crash to the mix was, decidedly, not a good idea.

“I see you guys got started without me,” a new voice enters the space all of a sudden, and Ilya turns to see Ivan strolling up with a bright smile. “Rozy, the club looks incredible. I may even like this one more than Hush. What’s it called again?”

“Drift,” Ilya smiles as Shane jolts to life in his arms. “I am glad you were able to make it.”

Ivan just shrugs. “I had someone in town I wanted to catch up with, so figured I would come a few days early. There’s my kitty cat,” he laughs when Shane springs over to hug him.

Ilya can’t help hovering close, feeling a little on edge with the way Shane was reacting to things today. He was more sensitive than usual, but hopefully, he would start to feel more comfortable with the added company rather than less.

“You are not wearing your ears, котенок,” Ivan notices as he runs a hand through Shane’s hair.

Shane pouts pathetically and nuzzles into Ivan’s chest, causing the other to frown and look up at Ilya.

Ilya sighs. “He is not supposed to be down right now, but it has been a big day for us. First with the engagement—”

“The engagement?” Ivan’s eyes go wide. “Holy shit. Congratulations, you guys,” he expresses delightedly, pulling Shane a little closer to him from where Shane is cuddled against his chest.

“Thank you,” Ilya can’t help but smile. “Anyway, most of the team does not know about him. They know he is my sub, but not like this. I am hoping to keep it under wraps if possible. They won’t be alarmed if he is quiet or cuddly, but I am worried he is going to go full-on kitten tonight, so. If you could just keep an eye on him.”

“Of course,” Ivan agrees without question, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“There is one other person on the team. Troy. He has watched Shane once like this before, so between the three of us, it shouldn’t be a problem. I just…need to keep him out of trouble. It is a lot to throw at our team, you know? We are around them all the time.”

“No, I understand,” Ivan nods quickly. “I’m impressed you even invited them to the opening. It’s great you guys are able to be out to your team at all, let alone about this.”

Ilya feels his heart pick up a little in appreciation. They were really lucky to have the guys. The fact that all of them were so accepting, and quite curious and eager to learn, was the biggest blessing Ilya could have asked for. And they had Troy and Harris on top of that. Another pairing. Eventually. If Ilya could successfully work his magic.

“They are really good guys. You can be yourself around them. Just nothing too revealing about Shane, please,” Ilya requests, feeling relaxed when he receives a firm confirmation. Ivan was fucking amazing with the way he knew how to handle Shane. He was a remarkable sub, but when he was with Shane, it was almost like he gave off a Dom-like aura. He could be commanding and grounding just enough for Shane to actually listen to him, but he was also enough of a sub that Shane trusted him. And Ilya trusted Ivan, too. He had been a great friend to Shane so far, and Ilya really liked that Shane had another sub to talk to. Plus, they were certainly hot when they played together. Ilya is looking forward to seeing more of that on Sunday.

When the guys do finally start to arrive, Ilya is just glad that Troy gets there first. He feels confident that Ivan will be able to help with Shane tonight if necessary, but it was always great to have more people he could trust to keep an eye out, and Troy had proven to be a pretty stellar cat sitter. In the past week, he’s become Ilya’s sort of right-hand man when it came to Shane. If Shane even seemed like something might set him off, Troy would alert Ilya in an instant. He was starting to get really good at reading Shane’s cues, too, and Ilya liked how eager Troy was to please. Like he got off on being the team’s watchdog. Ilya wondered if Harris might get off on it, too.

“Hey, guys,” Troy says breathlessly as he walks up. “I don’t know what I was expecting when you said ‘BDSM club opening, wear blue’, but it was definitely not this,” he laughs.

“It is like he dreams of being an amateur interior designer,” Svetlana jokes as she steps back over to them after a brief detour at the bar.

“I’d say he’s a little past amateur,” Ivan grins, giving Shane’s shoulder another rub.

“Ivan, Svetlana, this is Troy,” Ilya introduces. “Svetlana is co-owner with me for both of the clubs,” he explains. “She is a long-time childhood friend of mine. And Ivan has been coming to our club in Montreal for many years now. He and Shane are very close, as you can see.”

“This is the teammate who knows?” Ivan asks him lightly, tipping his head towards Troy, and Ilya nods. “It’s really nice to meet you. I’m glad Shane has someone on the team he can be himself around. This kitty deserves all the love,” Ivan hums sweetly, while scratching his fingers through Shane’s hair.

Shane just purrs and nuzzles up into his hand.

“Wow,” Troy comments, watching the way that Shane and Ivan are interacting. “So, you’ve been around him a lot like this, then?”

“A good amount,” Ivan agrees, shrugging. “We have only played together once, although that will be changing soon. Right, kitty?” Ivan reminds him, giving Shane a little shake.

“Play together?” Troy raises his eyebrows. “Like…like as cats?”

“Ivan is a puppy,” Ilya chimes in.

“Well, not all the time,” Ivan clarifies. “Not like Shane here, at least. Though I guess he is quite special.”

Ilya practically preens at the compliment.

“But, yeah. I don’t mind a little pet play every now and then. It’s definitely one of the more fun roles to slip into. Plus, Shane and Ilya are great to scene with. Sometimes I get sucked in just by watching them. Rozy, I seriously went down so far after Pet Playground. Cedric fucked me, like, wild. One of our best scenes together, I think.”

Ilya laughs when Troy’s eyes go wide as saucers. “Well, we are excited about seeing you guys on Sunday. Cedric and I have talked a little about boundaries, but we should probably discuss a few things as a group. Although Shane can have trouble staying up in those conversations.”

“You guys are 24/7, though, aren’t you?” Ivan tips his head.

Ilya’s eyes dart to Troy momentarily before going back to Ivan.

Ivan recognizes the gesture almost immediately and changes the subject. “Wait, you never told me about the engagement. Do you have any idea when you’re trying to have the wedding?”

“Baby, you did not even say hi to Troy,” Ilya realizes, reaching for Shane to tug him away from Ivan a bit. He was getting a little too wrapped up in his comfort person, and while the guys would understand if he was clinging to Ilya, it might be sort of weird for them to see Shane clinging to someone else.

-

Shane pouts as Ilya pries him off of Ivan, but his cat eyes focus in awareness when he zeroes in on Troy. He hadn’t even noticed Troy was here.

“Troy,” Shane mumbles quietly, and he looks to Ilya to see if he’s allowed to touch.

“Yes, sweetheart. Go on, give him a hug,” Ilya tells him, so Shane buries himself in Troy’s arms.

“Hi, kitty,” Troy greets, rocking Shane slightly in his hold as Shane sniffs at him.

Wow. Shane has a lot of humans here with him tonight. He’s practically the only kitty.

“We are going to call him Shane to keep him up as much as possible,” Ilya cuts in, and Shane growls a little.

Why the fuck was Ilya trying to cut into his kitty time with all his best friends?

“I don’t want to hear any of that attitude from you, котенок. I told you I need you to be especially nice to Troy and Ivan. They are very nervous, so I need you on your best behavior.”

Shane pouts and pulls himself out of Troy’s arms a bit, and when he turns his head, he’s confused to find Ivan, Troy, and Ilya all smiling at each other like they’re in on some inside joke.

“Um, so. You guys are engaged?” Troy wonders aloud, and Shane feels happy when Ilya instantly agrees. “Woah. That’s huge. Congratulations.”

“Yes, yes, thank you,” Ilya hums, reaching up to touch the ring. The ring that Shane got for him. It’s around his neck for everyone to see!

“Oh my god, Ilya,” Ivan says all of a sudden, and Shane watches as he steps closer to him to look at Ilya’s hand. “Your tattoo. Holy fuck. Is that what I think it is? That is stunning.”

Svetlana squints while leaning in to try and get a better look at it as well, her hand raising to cover her mouth once she does.

“Ah,” Ilya blinks, holding out his hand and rotating it for them all to see.

“Ilyusha,” Svetlana says quietly, her hand resting over her heart this time. “It is truly beautiful. And the fact that you are also honoring your mother.”

Troy furrows his eyebrows as he looks around the group.

“If a Dom ever did that for me, I’d never get off my knees,” Ivan whistles. “That is so fucking hot, Rozy. Damn. How did Shane react?”

“A whole lot of tears,” Ilya laughs, gesturing for Troy to hand Shane over.

Shane wiggles excitedly as he’s transferred and then immediately starts to lick Ilya’s neck.

“I know, baby. It is because I love you very much,” Ilya indulges him with some nice pets over his back.

“Is it, um…it’s Shane’s necklace, right? The one you used to wear?” Troy voices unsurely.

“It’s Shane’s collar,” Ivan corrects. “It’s a symbol of their relationship. A way of displaying Ilya’s ownership. Ilya’s tattoo is basically the ultimate declaration of love and possession. I mean, to tattoo your sub’s collar, especially around your hand like that, in such a prominent way, is just…it’s breathtaking, really. I would kill to have what you guys have.”

“It is unlike anything I have ever seen before,” Svetlana agrees. “They are truly perfect for one another. I never thought I would see the day the ten-year plan finally came to fruition.”

“Ten-year plan?” Ivan cackles. “For what?”

“Oh, don’t tell me you didn’t know about Ilya’s life-long crush,” Svetlana rolls her eyes. “It was the most pathetic thing in the world, but I just felt so bad for him. I have never seen anyone pine so hard in my life.”

“You’re kidding,” Troy huffs a laugh, looking between the two of them.

Shane just hugs Ilya tightly around the waist.

“Whatever. Make fun all you want, but ten-year plan obviously worked. And I do not see any of you fuckers in committed relationships. Perhaps you could use my help. I think I have even figured out some of the issues, so it can probably be down to five-year plan now.”

Shane purrs warmly when the entire group laughs.

By the time the rest of the team gets there, Shane is feeling a little more like himself. Or a little less, depending on how you cat-egorized him. But Ilya is holding his hand as they step up to the bar for jello-fish shots, and Shane nearly moans when Ilya sucks the jello shot into his own mouth before passing it to Shane through a kiss. Shane clutches desperately to his shirt and wraps his tongue around the gelatin before swallowing it and pulling Ilya into a real kiss after. Ilya smirks and cups his ass, and Shane has to fight to keep from climbing him and riding him right on top of the bar.

“I’m going to help the bartenders get some trays of shots so we can bring them over to the guys. Can you go with Troy and wait for me, baby?”

Shane nods and purses his lips for another kiss, which Ilya easily grants him, before he scurries off to find Troy, as asked.

He smiles when he sees Troy talking to Wyatt and Bood and immediately sidles up next to him on the couch.

“Shane, buddy, there you are! Oh my god, this place is fucking sick,” Bood whoops. “Rozy is fucking nuts. I can’t believe he’s just doing shit like this in his free time. I can barely even finish a movie before I pass out most nights.”

“I can see why Cassie is looking to spice things up,” Wyatt jokes.

“Oh, shut up, Hazy. So, how does this place compare to the other club?” Bood wonders, and it takes a minute, but when no one else answers, Shane eventually realizes that he must be talking to him.

Shane just looks helplessly to Troy.

Troy leans back against the couch and gestures for Shane to settle into his side. “Do you like this club better than the Montreal one?” Troy rephrases, speaking clearly and slowly to him.

Oh, Shane’s eyes widen in understanding before he nods emphatically. Troy offers him a curl of his lips in response, and Shane’s tummy flutters. He’s doing well. He’s making Troy feel comfortable, helping Troy answer questions. Ilya would be proud of him. Shane wraps his fingers in the fabric at the bottom of Troy’s shirt.

“Is he feeling a little…” Wyatt asks lightly.

“Yeah,” Troy murmurs in agreement, and Shane sighs when Troy’s fingers scratch through the back of his hair.

“God, if the drinks here are as strong as they are at Hush, we’re in for a fucking night,” Ivan voices as he approaches the group of them, a tray of jello-fish shots in hand that he places on the table.

“Guys, this is Ivan,” Troy introduces. “That’s Bood and Wyatt over there.”

“Oh shit. You’ve been to Roz’s Montreal club, then, yeah? You’ve gotta tell us about all the freaky shit that goes on there. He’s always holding out on us,” Wyatt shakes his head as he reaches for one of the shots.

Ivan laughs. “I think he’s probably just trying to protect his and Shane’s dynamic. I’m sure it’s pretty weird having your co-workers know what you and your partner get up to in the bedroom. Especially if your partner is also on that team.”

“I mean, hey. We don’t judge,” Bood shrugs. “We already know Shane’s his sub or whatever. And he invited us here, didn’t he? It doesn’t get much more intimate than that.”

Ivan throws Troy a look that the other guys instantly pick up on.

“Um, unless…” Bood pauses, glancing between them.

“Details about someone’s arrangement are extremely intimate. Some things are meant to be private,” Ivan offers, sitting down on the couch next to Shane. Shane immediately jolts up in excitement and digs his claws into Ivan’s thigh. “Yes, hello, cutie. How are we doing over here?”

Shane just purrs as Ivan gives him a rub. He feels so safe next to his two humans in his owner’s new club.

“You and Shane are pretty close, then, huh? I thought Barrett was the only one allowed to touch him without Rozy going feral,” Wyatt snorts.

“Yeah, Shane’s a good friend,” Ivan agrees, turning back to the group this time as he takes a shot. “Want one, котенок?”

Shane already had one, and he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to have another, but Ilya said to make sure Ivan feels safe, so Shane tugs at Ivan’s shirt to get him to focus on him.

“And Ilya’s cool with you just like…touching him like this? Cause I feel like if I did that, he’d lose his fucking mind,” Bood chuckles.

“Mm, probably because you have voiced on numerous occasions that Shane is your hall pass,” Ilya chimes in as he arrives to the table with another tray of jello-fish shots.

“Pretty sure Ivan wants a go at Shane, too, buddy. And you never seem to say anything about Troy, either,” Bood fires back.

“Yeah, didn’t Troy, like, openly try to go after Shane?” Wyatt grins widely.

“He fucking asked for his number! Plus, Troy is actually gay. He’s way more of a threat.” Bood points at Troy.

“Did someone say Troy is a threat?” Harris walks over to the table with a drink in his hand.

Ilya smirks and waves his hand at Bood and Wyatt. “Move down so me and Harris can sit, would you? Uh, no,” Ilya shakes his head when Harris goes to sit next to Ivan. “You over there.” He juts his chin in the direction of the space that’s just opened up next to Troy. “Troy, scooch down. I am taking your spot.”

“Alpha,” Shane mutters into Ivan’s neck. Ivan shushes him and rubs over his thigh in response.

“Maybe gay people are allowed to touch each other like that, but straight people aren’t,” Wyatt muses to Bood, and Ilya snorts.

“He is allowed to touch him like that because he is Shane’s best friend and he is also a sub,” Ilya clarifies. “It is like if Shane cuddled up to Rose Landry. It is not a threat. They are not compatible.”

Bood just wiggles his eyebrows. “So, you think I’m a threat?”

“Are the boys being ignorant about club dynamics?” Svetlana sighs as she walks over. “Vanilla jocks are so tiring.”

Shane lets himself be pulled against Ilya as he settles into the space next to him where Troy has just departed from. Ilya leans in close and takes the shot from Shane’s hand. “Now, how did you get another one of these?”

Shane just blushes and points to Ivan.

“Sorry, was I not supposed to?” Ivan tips his head. “I thought alcohol might be a nice human thing.”

“No, you are right,” Ilya agrees, placing the shot back in Shane’s paw. “Go on, sweetheart. You’re alright.”

“Hey, Rozy,” someone leans over the back of the couch into Ilya’s ear. “Who’s the babe with the curls?”

Shane turns slightly to see Holmberg hovering behind them. He ducks his head when the rookie offers him a small wave with a quirk of his lips.

“That is Svetlana, and she will eat you alive. Don’t even try it,” Ilya warns, and Shane giggles when Holmberg huffs and slinks away in defeat, Ilya rolling his eyes before turning back to him. “These idiots know nothing, I swear.”

Shane smiles and then breaks into laughter when Ilya tickles his stomach.

“I’m trying not to be vanilla, you know? That’s why I’m here. My wife wants to get into it.”

Shane tunes back in to the conversation happening next to them with Bood, Wyatt, and Svetlana. Troy and Harris are just talking quietly to each other like they’re off in their own world.

“Well, you clearly have a lot to learn,” Svetlana replies, looking Bood over pointedly. “But if you are serious, you have come to the right place. There is no better Dom than Rozy.”

“Please,” Ilya refutes. “I have had my fair share of disasters.”

“And that is what makes you such a good Dom,” Svetlana agrees. “I would never feel safe with someone who has not had a scene go wrong before. That is how you learn and get better.”

“A scene go wrong?” Troy clears his throat. “What do you mean?”

“If someone has to color out or if something does not go as planned,” Svetlana clarifies.

“Color out…”

“It is a stoplight system. Green for go, yellow for slow down, and red for stop,” Ilya explains. “Basically, a way to communicate or tap out of the scene if someone is feeling uncomfortable or unsafe. A lot of scenes can be very intense, which is why a good Dom must always check in.”

“Oh,” Troy murmurs in understanding.

“I feel like I should be writing this down,” Bood curses while scrambling for his phone.

“Take your shot, котенок,” Ilya catches Shane’s attention by rubbing over his back.

Shane pouts and holds the shot up to Ilya’s mouth.

Ilya just looks down at him with amusement in his eyes. “You want me to feed it to you again?” He laughs and shakes his head. “You are ridiculous. Everyone look away,” Ilya warns, as he pulls Shane close and raises his arm up to hide them from view.

Shane mewls happily as Ilya feeds him the jello-shot via a kiss while they’re hidden in the safety of his big, muscular arm. Mm, Shane loves him, loves him, loves him.

“Holy fuck, Rozanov! Since when did you get a tattoo?” Wyatt practically yells, standing to grab at Ilya’s wrist.

“Ah, careful, careful. Shane is going to fucking murder you if you mess that up. He has been taping and cleaning it nice and well for me for hockey,” Ilya cautions, pulling his hand back to himself before he offers it up to the group for them to see.

Bood whistles. “That’s beautiful, Roz. That’s for your mother, right? For the charity?”

Svetlana laughs. “Wow, they are really clueless, huh?”

Ilya narrows his eyes at her.

“Okay, what the fuck is going on?” Wyatt demands. “I feel like everyone’s in on something except for Bood and me.”

“It’s for his mother,” Ivan agrees. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Hey, guys! Sorry I’m late,” Luca says breathlessly as he plops onto one of the couches. “Hey, Troy. Hey, Ilya. Hey, Shane.”

Shane huffs into Ilya’s chest. There’s so many people. He doesn’t want to do this right now. He wants to go back to Ilya’s playroom and be a kitty cat for a while.

“Is he just…really stressed today?” Harris whispers to Ilya from somewhere in the distance.

“This week has been a lot,” Ilya says softly, and Shane feels a soothing hand comb over his back.

“No, of course,” Harris agrees. “But…it’s from that still or…”

“They’re engaged,” Troy offers with a smile.

Harris’ jaw drops. “No way! The Centaurs are having a wedding?”

“Wait, what?” The entire group pauses to look towards them, and Shane feels his breathing pick up.

“A wedding?”

“You guys are getting married?”

“Since when!”

Shane desperately digs his claws into Ilya’s side and holds them there for a few seconds.

“Fuck,” Ilya mutters. “Fuck, okay, hold on.”

“Is he okay?” Ivan asks, his eyebrows pinched.

“He is yellow,” Ilya says under his breath, so only Ivan can hear. “I’m going to take him to my playroom for a second.”

“What’s going on?” Troy sits forward. “Do you need help?”

“No,” Ilya’s voice rings out as he pulls Shane into a standing position.

Shane hiccups a sob and wraps his arms securely around Ilya’s neck.

“Okay. You’re okay,” Ilya repeats softly. “We are going to take a little breather. Everything’s good.”

Shane tries to clamp down on any more sounds, but fuck. He’s failing his task. Who was going to help keep Troy and Ivan safe?

He can feel a lot of eyes on him as Ilya whisks him away, can feel how the room has gone practically silent around them, but he just clings to Ilya’s neck tightly and keeps his eyes closed. He can’t fucking handle this right now. Can’t handle all the questions. All the attention. He doesn’t like being human at the club. It’s reminding him of the last time he was human at Hush. When he’d found himself surrounded by people. When he’d gotten so drunk and Nikolai had kissed him. Touched him. Made him cheat on Ilya. A million bodies and voices surrounding him. Making the walls cave in. Making Shane shrink smaller.

Oh fuck. He hasn’t thought about that much at all. Not since the days following. But it all bubbles to the surface now. He grips Ilya tightly again, but they’re halfway across the room now. Ilya’s somehow holding half of his weight as they walk. Shane barely feels his feet touching the ground.

“Doing so well for me, angel. Just breathe. You are safe with me.”

Shane takes a deep breath. And then he’s in the dream bed. The frozen time trap where, for just a split second, he had thought Ilya never entered his life. Wow, he doesn’t feel good. Wasn’t he supposed to be staying with Ivan and Troy?

Ilya is sitting behind him against the head of the bed, his arms wrapped tightly under Shane’s armpits and crossed over his chest. Shane holds him close as Ilya presses a column of grounding kisses down the span of his neck, his stubble digging in with every one.

Shane gasps and sinks into the feeling. Ilya’s big arms pull him even closer, and Shane just relaxes all at once. He can feel Ilya’s dick against his ass. Not hard, necessarily. Just there. It makes him feel safe. His big, strong Alpha would protect him. From Nikolai or anyone else. No one was ever going to touch Shane wrong again.

Shane’s face crumples as he lets his head drop forward. He wants his ears. He wants his ears so badly, but they don’t have code words for everything yet. If he wants Ilya to get them for him, he’s going to have to ask. But he can’t get his voice to work. He can’t get his mind to form the words. He squirms against Ilya’s grip in an effort to try and force the thought to surface.

“What is it, baby? What do you need?” Ilya asks, biting gently at the space between his shoulder and neck.

“Ears,” Shane whines softly as the tears spill out of him. God, he was a walking disaster, wasn’t he? It’s no wonder Nikolai had taken advantage of him. He couldn’t stay human to save his life. He thought he’d been doing better, but wow, things are starting to pile up. So many things he didn’t even realize were burning in the background. He should probably call his therapist soon. If he can find time between hockey. And the club. And the wedding, now.

“You can have your ears, sweet boy. You’re okay. Just try and calm down for me, okay?”

Ilya rubs soothingly over his back, and Shane is glad he doesn’t have to leave the bed to look for them when he hears Ilya start rummaging around in a drawer that must be right next to them.

And then, before Shane knows it, there’s a pair of medium-sized ears being clipped into his hair, and he feels like he can finally breathe again. Woah. Okay. He’s okay. He’s Ilya’s kitten right now. Ilya would never let anything happen to his kitten.

“There’s my perfect kitten,” Ilya’s voice oozes out of him, and Shane turns to suck on his neck. “You are just feeling a lot of things today, yes? And that’s okay. So much has happened in one week. It is a lot of emotions to process.”

He’s petting at his hair, and Shane almost wants to tell him. Wants to say he doesn’t feel safe being a human at the club anymore. He only wants to come as a kitten if he has to be around this many people.

“You just wanna be my little baby, don’t you? My sweet boy who doesn’t have to worry about anything?” Ilya hums, rocking him slightly. “You just want me to take care of you. Make all the bad thoughts go away, hm? I know they creep up on you sometimes. My precious angel.”

Shane sniffles and tucks his forehead against Ilya’s jaw, shifting so his ears brush up against Ilya’s cheek.

“There’s my good pet. My gorgeous baby. Oh, you’re the best cat for your owner, aren’t you? Make me so proud of you. So proud that I have such a well-behaved kitty.”

Shane was well-behaved. He never did anything wrong. Except he probably should have told Ilya that he was going to the club that night to meet Ivan. He’d wanted to do it on his own, but maybe it was a sign from the universe that he wasn’t supposed to. If he was a better sub, maybe it wouldn’t have happened. Maybe he’d have been able to manage being a human around the guys right now. He sucks in another breath.

“Baby, I need you to listen to me, please. Whatever you’re thinking, just let it go. Focus on my voice.”

And Shane listens. He focuses. Even though—

“Good boy. You’re so good for me.”

Ilya is talking to him in that really gooey way he does, sometimes. Like Shane is a tiny, cute little animal he’s being very careful not to spook. Shane relaxes further into his arms.

“There you go, baby. You don’t need to worry about anything else. We’re okay. It is a new space, but that is okay. I know it is probably confusing to have Ivan and Svetlana here at the same time as the boys. Perhaps I could have planned a little better.”

Shane frowns and pulls away slightly to look at him. Ilya’s plans were always great. Shane didn’t ever want him to question himself on that front because Ilya’s plans were never the problem. No, it was usually just Shane and his obsessively detailed mind that could imagine almost any scenario, real or imaginary, to such a degree that it could push him right to the brink of insanity.

Ilya just smiles down at him and bumps their noses together. “I think it is probably best that we tell the boys about you being a kitten, hm? It is not worth all the extra stress of trying to keep it from them.”

-

In all honesty, Ilya really didn’t think they had a choice. Whether they liked it or not, this plane crash had clearly brought up some intense feelings for the both of them, but Shane needed his safe place. And that was what this club was supposed to be for him. It was one thing when they were at practice or out on hockey-related business, but at Drift, Ilya wasn’t going to ask Shane to be anything other than himself.

Ilya couldn’t even remember the last time Shane had been human in his club before. The whole reason they went there was for Shane to be able to play in a space where he felt comfortable enough to just…exist. As he was.

He thinks through the last few times, wracking his brain for an instance he can tie this experience back to. Pet Playground had been the most recent event, but Shane had obviously been a cat for that. There was Fire and Ice, which was a bit of a mess, but Shane had still been a cat. But wait, there was something else. Something he was missing. Because what about when Ilya drove back from Ottawa when he found out—

Ilya’s blood runs fucking cold. God, he feels fucking stupid. The last time Shane had been a human in a BDSM club, he’d been fucking assaulted. And the club was a place where he was supposed to be able to let his guard down, especially because it was Ilya’s club—Ilya’s club where consent was supposed to matter even more than it did at regular clubs, and yet, still, Shane had been violated, his boundaries totally ignored.

Ilya knew he felt safer when he was a cat. Mostly because he trusted Ilya to take care of him, and when Shane was a cat, Ilya was always on high alert. Looking after him. Looking out for him. Because if he had been there, Nikolai never would have laid a hand on him. And maybe if Ilya had told Shane about the texts he’d received when he got outed to the club, then Shane never would have even wanted to go there alone in the first place.

“You know I am always going to protect you from every bad thing in this world, right?” Ilya reminds him, pulling Shane back against his chest, but this time, it’s for his own comfort. “I know there have been times in the past where you needed me and I wasn’t there,” he swallows, rubbing a hand over the expanse of Shane’s back. “But that’s never going to happen again. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

He lets his other hand slip through Shane’s hair, scratching expertly behind his cute kitty ears until Shane starts to turn into a warm pile of fur in his lap.

“There’s my sweet boy. Can I get you to drink some water for me?” Ilya asks, reaching next to him for the water bottle he’d retrieved earlier. He uncaps it and hands it to Shane, pleased when the other takes it gingerly and swallows a few sips, holding Ilya’s eye contact as he does. Ilya gives his thigh a little squeeze in approval.

And then they stay there for a while. Ilya tells Shane every thought in his head. He likes hearing Shane laugh, so he tries to stick to silly things. Like when he says he’s going to categorize every guy on the team as either a puppy or a kitty cat, and Shane freezes up in his arms. Only for Ilya to list them one by one and categorize each and every single one of the guys as a puppy, except for Shane, of course. Cause Shane was the only kitty cat. When he tells him as much, Shane laughs so hard that he practically falls over, so Ilya tickles him until he can’t breathe. Until they’re both wrestling and breathless and something akin to how they probably would’ve been if they had gotten the chance to meet up all those years ago in Shane’s hotel room.

Ilya kisses him, and Shane is cognizant enough to kiss back. He’s not all tongue and grabby kitty paws. He’s just sweet as ever, and a little quiet, but that was okay. That was always okay with Ilya.

They’ve been gone for close to an hour now, which is fine, but they should probably try to make one more appearance before the evening is over. Shane seems like he’s in a good place. He isn’t talking, but he’s smiling. And he’s holding Ilya’s hand and playing with his fingers. And he’s giggling and reacting, not like a kitten would, just like Shane would. And Shane was part kitten. And that was okay.

“How would you feel about going back out to the club for a bit?” Ilya hums softly, pressing the tips of Shane’s pink nails to his lips. He was probably due for a nail appointment. Maybe Ilya could send him out with Troy while Ilya was getting everything set up for Halloween on Saturday.

Shane surprises him by ducking forward to press a small kiss to the corner of Ilya’s mouth. “Can I wear my ears?” He whispers, and Ilya feels warm all over.

“As long as you are okay with me telling the boys, angel. I do not have to tell them everything, but I have to tell them something,” Ilya informs, linking their fingers together more securely.

Shane nods. “It’s okay,” he murmurs quietly. “I want to.”

Ilya looks him over carefully. “You are feeling much more yourself, aren’t you, baby?” Ilya asks, because sometimes he wonders what it must be like. To crave the comfort of ears on your head. That element of being able to step out of yourself and into someone else for a bit. The premise of that ‘someone else’ feeling more like you than being yourself ever did. Well, actually, Ilya supposed he could relate to that in some way. Just not the ears part.

“Safe,” Shane whispers, squeezing Ilya’s fingers once.

“Yes, you are very safe with me when you are a kitten, baby, but you are safe with me always, okay? As long as I am there, nothing bad is ever going to happen. That I can promise you. Hm?” Ilya searches his eyes, waiting for the words to sink into Shane’s skin.

Shane leans in to kiss him once more and then pauses with their foreheads pressed together. His eyes are closed, and he’s sniffing, almost scenting the air around him, looking for Ilya’s calming fragrance to bring him back to center.

“You’ll get my attention in some way if something is wrong, yes? Whether it is a color, or your safeword, or you need to squeeze my hand. I need you to tell me so I can make sure you’re okay.”

Shane nods jerkily like he understands, so Ilya rewards him with a peck on the forehead.

As they make their way out into the main room, Ilya can tell Shane feels a lot lighter. He’s gliding through the air with a newfound confidence in his step, and Ilya can’t resist giving him a little twirl, smiling to himself when Shane’s eyes sparkle back at him. He’s at his new fucking club with his fucking adorable kitten fiancé, and he should feel on top of the world. He does.

He thinks the guys will react well, and they probably will, but as always, he felt fiercely protective over Shane, and the need to shield him from all things bad was a consistent fire burning away in his gut. Giving him purpose. Keeping him alive, if Ilya had to guess.

They’re all pretty fucking drunk by the time he and Shane walk over, which Ilya is grateful for. He’s pleased to see that Troy and Harris are very engaged in whatever story Ivan must be telling them, so Ilya steers Shane in that direction, identifying them as the safest entry point for obvious reasons.

“Shane.” Troy perks up when he sees them. “Or...” he pauses, eyes flickering to Ilya once he notices the ears.

“Either is fine,” Ilya tells him kindly as he and Shane sit down on the couch.

“Hey, kitty. We missed you. How you doing?” Ivan asks Shane next.

“Better,” Shane confirms softly, and he smiles when Ivan reaches out to ruffle his hair.

“Oh, wow. Cool ears,” Harris comments in surprise. “Is that like…part of your dynamic or…”

Ilya turns to look at Shane for a moment, and when their eyes meet, he feels like they’re staring into each other’s souls. He feels like they’re starting to share one body, one mind, like they’re way more alike than they are different. Deep down, they had the same fears. The same wants. And, recently, their wants and fears were often one in the same. They wanted to be out. Fully. They wanted to be free.

“Yeah,” Ilya says easily, placing a protective hand over Shane’s knee. “It’s a headspace for him. Helps him relax and feel comfortable. He’s used to being a kitten when he’s at the club, so I think being human was a lot for me to ask of him tonight,” Ilya admits.

“And he is the best kitten in the world,” Ivan praises, much to Shane’s delight.

“He is really, really cute when he’s a kitten,” Troy agrees around a giggle, and Harris raises his eyebrows.

“Oh, wow. Am I the only one who didn’t know?”

“Didn’t know what?” Wyatt comes bounding over to the group. “Woahhhh. Shane’s got cat ears on,” he laughs, looking over the group. “What’d I miss? Where did you guys go?”

“Shane’s in kitty mode,” Ivan fills in, and Wyatt tips his head.

“I’m confused.”

“When Shane and I are at the club, he likes to be a kitten,” Ilya says casually, reaching for a glass of vodka from the table that he’s pretty sure once belonged to him. And at the wide-eyed look he receives from Wyatt, Ilya shrugs. “You wanted to know what the big secret was earlier. This is it. Shane’s a cat. Sometimes he wears ears, or he likes to be extra cuddly, or get head scratches. It makes him feel safe, and it is how he expresses himself, especially around people he feels comfortable with.”

“Like me,” Troy grins, going in for a pet of his own, that Shane nuzzles into.

Shane is smiling like he’s not scared at all of Wyatt finding out, and it’s then that Ilya realizes Bood, Luca, and Holmberg are looking over at them, too.

“Wait. Did you just say Shane’s a cat?” Holmberg repeats, his eyebrows drawn together like Ilya has just said the sun is purple.

“Yeah,” Ilya agrees. “Sometimes he just wants to be quiet and soft. Wants people to treat him really well with the best pets.”

“And we do, because he’s awesome and sweet,” Ivan hums, booping Shane’s nose. “And it’s pretty sick having a cat around. Shane’s always down for a cuddle, aren’t you, buddy?”

Shane looks at Ilya—who nods at him in approval—before diving into Ivan’s open arms for a snuggle.

“Oh, there you are, sweet boy,” Ivan laughs happily, pulling him close as Shane nuzzles against him.

And when Ilya turns back to gauge the reaction from the guys, they’re all just staring at Shane. Taking in the ears. Taking in how different he seems from when he left the room in tears just an hour ago.

“Wait a second,” Bood cuts in, a hysterical laugh bubbling out of him. “Does that mean we have a team cat now, too? Harris! Is this what all the gays were keeping from us? The fact that Shane is a kitten?”

Ilya feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest. He can’t tell if the reaction is good or bad yet. It feels like his mind might be tricking him. He’s so fucking on guard. He’s ready to jump in and defend Shane with his life if he has to. He’s ready to tell all the guys to get out and fuck off if they can’t be cool with this, but he holds his breath. He tries to let the pieces fall where they may before starting an all-out war like his brain is begging him to.

“I, personally, had no idea,” Harris admits around a big smile. “But you know I love animals. I would never complain about having a cat around. Especially if it’s Shane, who…you know, I already like a lot.”

Wyatt is still watching them with narrowed eyebrows, like he’s trying to figure this whole thing out. “Is this like a BDSM thing or…”

“It’s more of a Shane thing,” Troy chimes in, as if this is all totally normal, and Ilya is grateful to have Shane’s safety people surrounding them on all sides. “But in BDSM, they call it pet play. And it seems really cool, actually. Like, imagine just getting to be a puppy, and everyone wants to pet you and cuddle with you and play with you and tell you how cute you are.”

Ivan raises his hand. “Can confirm it’s very, very fun.”

“Are you a kitten, too?” Harris asks him, although he seems to take note of the fact that Ivan isn’t wearing ears.

“More of a pup myself,” Ivan grins. “But, I mean, not in the way Shane is. Shane is kind of always a kitty. I’d be willing to bet he’s, like, actually part cat if you DNA tested him,” Ivan laughs. “I only really pull out the ears for the club pet events, but trust me, those can be quite a time.”

“See, now we’re getting to the juicy stuff.” Bood rubs his hands together. “Does this mean the straight guys are finally allowed to know more? The gays on this team always get special privileges.”

“Probably because they are known to be more accepting,” Svetlana cuts in sharply as she suddenly appears out of nowhere. “I know, tonight, this opening has been very fun and casual, but everything else that goes on in this club is very serious. It is not a place for jokes or chirping. It is a safe space for people to explore another side of themselves in a way that they do not always get to. As most of you are straight men, I can imagine you have no idea what this feels like. But if you are going to be here, you will be respectful. You do not need to understand fully, but you do need to act correct because it is a huge part of Shane and Ilya’s life, and I think you all very much knew that when you agreed to come here, so there is no excuse.”

“Well, we didn’t know about the kitten part,” LaPointe mentions quietly, and Svetlana just gives him an unimpressed look.

“Really. You did not know Shane is a kitten,” she scoffs as if he’s an idiot. “You should try opening your eyes every once in a while because I know your teammates, and they have never been subtle.”

“Sveta, it is fine,” Ilya sighs, cause he honestly has no idea if she’s making it better or worse. Shane seems to notice his discomfort, and he’s immediately at Ilya’s side again, so Ilya wraps an arm around him and pulls him close. “Look, like she said, the club is a safe space for Shane. I mean, it is for everyone who comes here, but for Shane especially, this really helps him recharge. He goes into his kitten mode, and then he just gets to sit back and relax for a bit while I take care of him. It is not any more complicated than that.”

“But it’s like…a turn on for you?” Holmberg questions, not unkindly. He mostly just looks confused, still.

Ilya smirks. “I mean, everything Shane does is a turn-on for me. If he wants to be a cute, little kitty cat sometimes…even better.” Ilya gives Shane a squeeze, and Shane bites his shoulder gently in appreciation. “But see, he is harmless. If anything, he is just a little sweeter. A little softer and sillier.”

“He seems really happy,” Luca speaks up for the first time. “I hate seeing Shane upset. It’s like…the saddest thing ever. Like when I got here earlier,” Luca frowns. “He seemed really stressed. I mean…he’s been stressed a lot lately.”

“Sometimes he just hits his limit on how much human stuff he can handle,” Ilya hums, petting over Shane’s hair soothingly. “Imagine if you could step out of your head for a bit, not have to worry about the things that are weighing on you. That is what it is like for him. Because it may not seem like it, but Shane is carrying a lot right now. We may be out to you guys, but we still have to hide our relationship and our sexualities. We still worry every day that something will leak to the media and take that choice away from us. We worry about what it will mean for hockey. If we will still be allowed to play professionally. If they will force us to retire,” Ilya explains, giving Shane a scratch behind one of his ears. “These are very big, very real things that are constantly on our minds. Things that threaten our future and how safe we are able to feel when we walk out of the house.”

“You don’t think it would actually come to that, do you?” Bood asks quietly. “I mean, Scott Hunter is gay. They couldn’t really kick you out of the league…could they?”

“Scott Hunter is old and irrelevant,” Svetlana comments dismissively. “Hollander and Rozanov are still some of the biggest names in hockey, and what’s worse, they are known rivals turned teammates who will be married soon enough. One gay hockey player is tolerable, but two of the best players in the league dating each other? On the same team? It would be unprecedented. I am sure Crowell would have some very choice words if this were to go public. The press would have a field day.”

“Well, that’s fucking stupid,” Troy scoffs. “There are four queer people on this team alone and probably countless others across the league who are too scared to speak up. If Scott Hunter coming out wasn’t enough to make the rest of us feel comfortable doing the same, then we should be banding together to figure out what it will take for us to feel safe in our own damn sport.”

“Community,” Ivan chimes in. “You guys need a community. Just like we kinksters have our club, you guys need a safe space where you can talk about these issues with other players who feel the same. If enough of you are willing to team up, maybe you can work together to enact some real change.”

“I’m in,” Wyatt surprises Ilya by rejoining the conversation after a long bout of silence. “I mean, assuming allies are allowed, right? Because I’d be willing to put my name behind any one of these guys. No one should have to live in fear of being open about who they love. And I think it’s really great that you all clearly look out for each other so much. I…think I get now why certain spaces are sacred for certain groups of people, and I also get why having someone like me come into those spaces might be intrusive,” Wyatt acknowledges. “So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I really appreciate you trusting us with this, Roz. Inviting us here tonight. Letting us get to see you in your element. And Shane, too.” His eyes go soft. “I think your world is really fucking cool, and if being a cat can help you feel better about the shitty stuff going on out there,” Wyatt says, pointing outside of the club. “Then, I see no reason why you shouldn’t do that whenever you want. At the club or anywhere else.”

Ilya feels his chest in his throat, his fingers moving reflexively through the hair at the nape of Shane’s neck. Shane is just purring and smiling. He’s gone a little more quiet, and Ilya knows that means he feels really safe right now. Really good around all these well-meaning humans.

“Yeah, I mean. Totally,” Bood agrees, gesturing to Shane. “It’s not like he’s acting any different than he usually does. If anything, he just seems happier. And like…super calm.”

“I’d join the ally thing, too!” Luca grins. “I mean, it could be sort of a cool way to meet guys, you know? Maybe I could find a hockey husband.”

LaPointe snorts. “Not Haasy using the gay hockey ally group for his own personal dick gain.”

“I’m cool with Shane being a cat,” Holmberg shrugs. “You all love to sexualize him anyway, so you may as well just do it in the way he likes.”

Ivan barks a surprised laugh at that, but he covers his mouth once he makes eye contact with Ilya. “Sorry.”

“It’s not sexual, you idiot.” Troy rolls his eyes.

“I mean,” Ilya feels the need to clarify. “It can be, but that is not for any of you to worry about. The things I am speaking about are very un-sexual.”

“Yeah, I would be careful if I were you guys,” Ivan adds with a hasty chuckle as he looks between Shane and Ilya. “I’ve been in the scene for a long time, years now, and I’ve never seen anyone even half as possessive as Ilya is about Shane. I mean, both of them about each other, really, but,” he pauses, glancing back to the guys this time. “For the purpose of this scenario, I would very much advise you not to get too comfortable with the way you talk about Shane. Ilya does not mess around when it comes to his kitten.”

Ilya raises his eyebrows and does his own look around the group of guys, all of whom are staring back at him expectantly. “This changes nothing. All this means is that sometimes Shane might want to wear his ears or do something else to make himself more comfortable, and now you will understand why. That is the only reason I am telling you. For your awareness and for his safety.”

“But, um,” Luca cuts in shyly. “Are we allowed to pet him?”

Ilya looks down at Shane. Shane, who is starry-eyed and angelic, tucked up under his arm. Shane, who has just been smiling, and smiling, and smiling since he’s gotten his ears. Shane, who had already inspired a need for some kind of queer allyship alliance to stand up to the league, because no one could stand the thought of him suffering. And all within minutes of coming out to the boys as a perfect black and white speckled kitten.

“Well, that is up to him,” Ilya tells Luca, although he’s still watching Shane. Shane, who can’t look away from him for a second, either. “You know how cats can be. Each one has their own boundaries, and just because they allow you to pet them one day, that does not necessarily mean you will be allowed to pet them the next. But Ivan and Troy know a lot about this, hm?”

“Yeah, I mean.” Troy shrugs, holding his fingers out for Shane to sniff. “I haven’t known about Shane for that long, but he’s pretty easy to read.”

-

Shane already knows he wants a pet from Troy, but for the sake of demonstrating, he gives the fingers in front of him a tentative sniff. Then, he tips his head down and leans in, granting Troy visible permission to rake his fingers through Shane’s hair. He shuts his eyes happily and sinks a little closer, only wavering at the feeling of Ilya’s fingers grounding him around his waist.

“Mm,” he purrs his approval, pulling back when Ilya gives his shirt a small tug.

“See?” Troy smiles fondly at him. “He’ll let you know if he wants you to touch him or not. And he bites, so. Fair warning.”

Shane presses his giggle into Ilya’s shoulder. The humans were always so silly about his biting. It made Shane want to do it more.

“Unless Ilya has given you explicit permission, you should be asking him before you do anything with Shane,” Svetlana’s voice slices through the air. “As far as I know, the only two people who have been given explicit permission tonight are Troy and Ivan.” She points to each of them. “If you are going to be around Shane when he is like this, then you always revert to his Dom. You should not even breathe in Shane’s direction without going to Ilya first.”

“I thought we’re supposed to go off of what Shane wants,” Holmberg voices in confusion.

“It’s a two-step process,” Ivan offers. “You’re asking Ilya if it’s okay to approach Shane, and you’re asking Shane if it’s okay to pet him. If Ilya says no initially, then you stop there. Ilya has the final say.”

“Can I pet him, Rozy?” Wyatt calls out, stepping towards the front of the group with his hand raised.

“Woah, woah. I wanted to pet him,” Bood argues with an affronted expression.

“I’m the one who asked first,” Luca frowns.

Shane shrinks a little at the noise, and he’s thankful when Ilya pulls him closer.

“Okay, no one is going to be petting anyone if you keep raising your voices like this. A cat, remember? My kitten is very sensitive. Which means, if you want to pet him, then you need to be very quiet, and you need to go very slow.”

Shane turns to press his forehead to Ilya’s neck, shutting his eyes for a moment to re-center. He’s feeling good; it’s just a lot, isn’t it? Being in the new club. Having the guys find out about something so personal about him, something he’s been hoping to let go of for a while.

“Just relax, baby,” Ilya whispers huskily against his ear, and Shane does.

He’s really safe. He knows all of these people, for one. He’s spent enough time around each of them to know they would never do anything to hurt him. It’s not just that, though; it’s Ilya, too. Ilya making him feel nice and fuzzy like always. Explaining everything so Shane doesn’t have to. He feels entirely unburdened by reality right now. He chases that feeling a little further.

“No pets from anyone right now.” Shane hears Ilya’s voice telling someone somewhere in the distance. “He is still a little overwhelmed from earlier.” And then, to Shane this time. “It’s okay, angel. You’re safe. You’re right with me.”

Shane stays hidden in Ilya’s neck for who knows how long. He catches partial tidbits of conversation in passing. Something about an Intro to BDSM night for newbies. Questions regarding the membership application process. More talk on the idea to form an NHL-facing queer alliance.

Blah, blah, blah. Shane can’t hear anything over the sound of Ilya’s steady beating heart in his ears. The scent of Ilya’s cologne pulsing strongly from where Shane’s got his nose pressed to Ilya’s throat. Ilya’s warm hand on his back, in his hair, around his hip. Shane’s digging his own nails into Ilya’s thigh in a kneading motion, his eyelashes fluttering every so often against Ilya’s jawline as he shifts his head and tries to nuzzle closer.

And Ilya always finds a way to oblige him. Closing the distance between them by an extra inch, even when no possible space remains. Shane is counting in his head all the times Ilya has said I love you before, although he starts to get a little lost in the memory of each one, and pretty soon he loses count. But he keeps going through them in his mind anyway. It’s all he can think about with the way Ilya’s holding him. Openly loving him, as a kitten, in front of all these people.

Ilya’s the one who gave him all of this. Not just this club, or even this team, but his entire identity. All of his experiences as a gay man. Every single moment he’s spent as a kitten. Ilya was his first love. The first person to make him experience real sexual attraction, to the point where Shane doesn’t even think he knew what it was before. For years, he was just going through the motions, pretending to fit in while, really, he felt like an alien for not craving sex like all the other guys did. Awkward skin-on-skin. Genitals sliding together. Sharing bodily fluids. It was unnatural. Foreign. Gross, at times.

But with Ilya, it was like Shane had entered another dimension. A dimension where everything felt good, and intimate, and earth-shattering. Ilya was the most attractive person alive. The only person Shane thinks he’s ever been attracted to. Because it wasn’t just Ilya’s body, or his wit, or his charm. It was the way his beautiful brain worked, the way he anticipated Shane’s every thought, every wish, every desire. It was the way he knew Shane better than Shane knew himself, and he accepted him exactly as he was. Never asked him to change. Just always met him wherever he was at.

“You’re being so good for me, sweetheart. The guys are so impressed with how well-behaved you are,” Ilya tells him, pulling Shane from his string of consciousness with a heavy pet.

“He’s so cute, I can’t,” Harris smiles, shaking his head. “I have so much more I want to know about this, but I don’t want to be rude by asking.”

And somewhere in the back of Shane’s mind, he remembers about Troy and Harris. About wanting them to get together so Troy can play with him at some point.

Shane mewls and blinks heavily in awareness, focusing his cat eyes right on Harris.

“Oh, wow. Hello there.”

Shane jolts when he realizes he’s being addressed directly this time. Hmmm. He has the power here. Maybe he can open up the conversation between Harris and Troy right now. He catches his claws on Ilya’s shirt to try and tell him as much.

“You are allowed to ask whatever you want,” Ilya says to Harris as he looks down at Shane curiously, taking Shane’s paw in his hand.

Shane tangles his fingers with Ilya’s and then tries to reach for Harris, giggling when Ilya just tips his head in confusion.

“You want Harris to pet you, baby? Is that what you want?”

That’s not exactly what Shane wants, but he hasn’t received pets from anyone new in a while, and the thought is enough to trigger a curiosity within him. He blinks his cat eyes at Ilya and then meows softly.

Troy pushes his lower lip out into a pout with his eyes soft, like Shane is the cutest thing in the world, and it makes Shane’s tummy feel warm all over. He wants Troy to pet him now. He reaches for him as well.

“Ah, I see,” Ilya acknowledges in understanding. “You want Troy and Harris to pet you.”

“So, you can like…understand him? When he does stuff like that?” Harris asks carefully. “Can you actually differentiate his meows or is it the way he’s acting…? Like, how do you know what he’s asking for?”

“Rozy is a fucking wizard,” Ivan laughs in response. “I’m not even exaggerating when I say he knows Shane better than God knows the fucking Bible.”

Ilya rolls his eyes fondly. “It is through a lot of trial and error, but obviously it comes with time. We have signals for certain things when he doesn’t feel like talking. Other than that, it is just my best guess, and it becomes very obvious very fast if I’m reading him wrong.”

Shane leans over his lap to try and get to Troy because, clearly, Ilya finds it more important to answer Harris’ boring questions right now than to give Shane what he wants.

“Alright, котенок. Do you want to sit closer to Troy? Is that it? You can go sit with him, baby. You know you are always allowed when it comes to Troy.”

Shane takes that as permission to start climbing across Ilya and Harris’ laps in order to get to his best friend, but Ilya stops him with firm hands around his waist, and Shane whines defeatedly.

“No, we do not crawl on top of people. You need to stand up and walk over to him if you want to sit near Troy,” Ilya scolds, and Shane pouts resolutely. “You are not in trouble, baby,” Ilya shakes his head. “You just need to use your manners, please.”

“C’mere, kitty,” Troy prompts, patting the space between him and Harris, and Shane squirms to get out of Ilya’s grasp to go join him.

He’s a little unsteady on his feet when he stands, but Ilya keeps a hold on him until he’s able to dive into the new open spot and rub his cheek against Troy’s shoulder.

“Hi, cutie,” Troy laughs at the display of affection. “Where the heck are all your toys, anyway?”

Yeah, Shane thinks. Where were his toys? He finally has the opportunity to play with all these new humans, but there’s no toys for him to play with.

“I do not want him getting too riled up. He can get very, very hyper sometimes,” Ilya explains. “I don’t want to risk him getting into the wrong headspace right now. When we are at the club, the lines can get pretty blurred, so.”

“Meaning what? Meaning it can turn sexual?” Harris questions.

Ilya presses his lips together and nods. “Playtime can get…pretty sexual. Depending on the environment. Depending on why he’s entered his kitten space and who he’s surrounded by. Sometimes, his kitten headspace is a mental coping mechanism. Other times, he can enter it specifically for sex.”

“And that’s when it’s the most fun for me, personally,” Ivan purrs seductively.

Ilya gives Ivan a look. “Easy. Let’s just save that for Sunday.”

“Sunday? What’s happening on Sunday?” Troy pipes in, and Shane starts to get excited at the mention, his wide eyes darting to Ilya.

“Shane,” Ilya warns. “Do not get yourself all worked up. I told you Ivan is just here as a friend today.”

“Sorry, kitty,” Ivan shrugs. “I tried.”

“Ivan and Shane have a playdate scheduled after our game on Sunday,” Ilya fills Troy and Harris in. “We will be doing a scene along with Ivan’s Dom, Cedric.”

“He’s not my Dom,” Ivan corrects. “I mean…he is sometimes. But I am allowed to see other Doms if I wish. We have an open arrangement.”

Ilya narrows his eyes slightly at him. “You are seeing other Doms besides Cedric?”

“Uh, well. Not so often, but you know,” Ivan voices awkwardly, and that only seems to make Ilya double down on his inquiry.

“Who? What other Doms are you seeing? Someone from Hush or another club?”

Ivan laughs in slightly guarded surprise. “Relax, Rozy. It’s no one serious.”

Shane rubs his cheek against Harris’ shoulder this time, just to see how it feels, though he jerks back towards Troy when Harris’ eyes settle on him.

“You’re okay, kitty,” Troy tells him easily, giving Shane’s back a little scratch. “That’s just Harris. He’s really cool and nice. I think you’d like him.”

Shane’s nose twitches a bit when Harris smiles down at him. Ilya and Ivan are still talking about something, but for now, all Shane can focus on is sussing out this new human.

“Do you want to try letting him pet you? You can totally trust him. Do you wanna give him a quick sniff?”

Shane sniffles and nods, staying close to Troy’s side as Harris’ hand comes into view. And then Shane cautiously approaches him for a little sniff and—wow! Shane’s eyes turn huge. Harris smells like green apples!!!

Troy laughs at the reaction and gives his hair a ruffle. “I know, right? He smells good, doesn’t he?” Troy murmurs softly, and when Shane looks between them, he finds them both staring at each other with soft smiles on their faces.

It makes Shane smile, too, and he can’t resist putting his paws on the couch next to Harris’ leg and leaning further into his space for a pet.

“Aww!” Harris coos. “Am I allowed to pet you, kitty?” Harris asks, and he turns to look for Ilya’s approval.

Ilya, who seems to be having a very heated conversation with Ivan about something.

“Ilya?” Troy prompts gently when Ilya still hasn’t responded. “Is Harris okay to pet Shane?”

“What?” Ilya practically snaps as he’s pulled from his conversation, but his expression relaxes once he clues in to the scene in front of him. “Oh. Of course. If Shane is giving you the okay, then go right ahead.”

And Shane purrs fully when Harris’ big, warm hand settles on top of his hair. Holy shit. Being sandwiched between Troy and Harris feels like heaven. He doesn’t know who he wants to pet him more. He leans into the touch, his mouth falling open slightly as Harris starts scratching him just right behind one of his cat ears, and then Shane collapses forward until he’s lying belly-up with his head in Harris’ lap, his legs pulled up until they’re stretched across Troy.

Troy grins widely at Harris and gives Shane’s tummy a rub, and then Harris and Troy are both petting him, and Shane is starting to feel a little loopy. His eyes fall shut, his paws curl up against his chest, and he wiggles happily against the hands that are touching him all over. It feels good. Maybe a little too good. It feels like playtime. The sexy kind. With Troy and Harris. His new friends. A puppy and their owner! Shane has so many friends, oh my god. He feels like the most spoiled kitty alive.

He whimpers and lets his eyes dart open as he reaches his paw out for Troy’s hand. Because he and Troy loved to hold hands. Like pet best friends! Cause that’s what they were, right?

Obviously, because Troy understands him in an instant and reaches out to link their fingers together, offering Shane the sweetest, most private smile in return. Shane growls playfully and lifts out of Harris’ lap in order to tackle Troy against the couch, feeling breathless and alive when Troy catches him around his waist with a giggle.

“Oh, now you’re feeling playful.”

Shane ducks down to rub his face against Troy’s in agreement, licking over his cheek to show just how much he loves him.

“You weren’t kidding about the cat stuff,” Harris laughs, turning to Ilya, who still seems caught up in a private conversation with Ivan, but at the prompt from Harris, Ilya refocuses on the situation.

“Woah, hey. Shane.” Ilya stands quickly and pulls Shane off of Troy by the scruff of his neck. “Let’s keep it PG tonight, sweetheart. It is not a regular club night, remember? I need you to be on your best behavior around the guys.”

Shane whines loudly, the noise turning into a yowl when Ilya effectively gets him all the way off Troy and pulls him into his own lap instead, wrapping his arms firmly around Shane’s waist.

“Shh, sh. Please do not give me attitude right now, baby. We need to be mindful of boundaries tonight. Not everyone has consented to playing with you like that,” Ilya murmurs against his skin.

And Shane sniffles, turning to press his face needily into Ilya’s neck.

Troy furrows his eyebrows as he sits up. “He wasn’t doing anything weird, though. He was just being cuddly.”

“Mm, sure. That is not all he was trying to do,” Ilya huffs a small laugh. “Shane has it in his head that Troy is a puppy who would like to play with him. Like seriously play with him.”

Troy’s eyes go wide as they dart to Harris and then back at Ilya. “What do you mean?”

Ilya sighs, holding onto Shane more securely as Shane twists in his arms. “Like pets do. He wants to wrestle around with you on the floor. Wants you guys to play fetch together. Share toys. He has a lot of fun when he plays with you, and he has decided that you are a puppy like he is a kitty cat.”

“Oh.” Troy flushes. “Um.”

“That is why I needed to pull him off of you. He doesn’t understand that everyone is here as a normal human tonight. Usually, when we are at the club, he is used to being around other pets or other pairings who are more used to…sexual types of behavior.”

“When does the club open for real?” Harris wonders aloud. “Uh. I mean,” he coughs when everyone turns to look at him. “I’d be…you know. Curious. To see him fully in his element. I’ve never really seen pet play before. It’s…I find it really interesting.”

“It opens on Sunday,” Ilya offers, and Shane buzzes to life in his hands trying to reach for Ivan this time. Because Ivan he was allowed to play with. “Baby, if you do not stop trying to get out of my arms, I am going to put you on your leash in my playroom and leave you there until every last one of our guests has gone home.”

Shane freezes immediately, fear curling in his belly at the idea of being left like that. Alone while his owner and all of his friends had fun without him. Alone for hours maybe without Ilya to touch him or talk to him or comfort him. Would Ilya really do that? Would Ilya abandon him?

Ilya rubs over Shane’s lower back soothingly, sliding his hand under Shane’s shirt to resume the motion until they’re touching skin-on-skin. “Take a deep breath for me. You are free to stay out here if you behave yourself, but the choice is yours.”

Shane swallows and closes his eyes when Ilya kisses his cheek. He doesn’t want to cry in front of everyone, but…

“So, that’s like a punishment?” Troy asks, watching them inquisitively. “Shane was telling me there are punishments, but I didn’t really know what that meant.”

-

“Yes. He is very cute, but there are still rules, and he needs to know that there are consequences to not following them,” Ilya explains, because he could tell that Troy and Harris were eager to learn more. “Just because we are at the club does not mean he is allowed to misbehave. And our rules are very important, aren’t they, angel? They help to keep us, and everyone around us, safe.” Ilya tucks his chin against Shane’s forehead as his tears start to pool in the crevice between Ilya’s collarbone and neck.

“He, um…” Harris gestures to Shane warily. “He’s crying.”

“He is alright,” Ilya vows, pressing a kiss into Shane’s hair. “He doesn’t like the idea of punishments. Probably why he is such a good kitten all the time, so he never gets any,” Ilya teases, tickling Shane’s side to pull a giggle out of him before Shane’s face crumples again. His dramatic kitty.

Troy smiles. “So, the rules aren’t bad, then. They’re just like…boundaries. Right? And the punishment is just to help make sure those boundaries stay in place?”

“Exactly,” Ilya grins. “And a punishment could be anything, really. It does not have to be extreme. Mostly, it is just a way of enforcing the dynamic. The Dom gives guidance, yes? But the sub must also want to be guided. Everything between us is a two-way street. I cannot do my part if he does not do his, and vice versa. It is my job to keep him in line, and it is his job to listen. Sure, there are times when a sub may disobey in order to get punished, but if there is no respect, then the dynamic means nothing.”

“But there’s also rewards, right?” Harris hums, and Ilya nods in agreement.

“Of course. Rewards can also be anything. Praise can be a reward,” Ilya offers an example, looking down at Shane in his arms. “For my sweet котенок, at least, who loves to be told how good he is.”

Shane flushes and huffs, hiding his face further into the crook of Ilya’s neck.

“Or soft touches.” Ilya demonstrates by raking his fingers through the back of Shane’s hair. Shane sighs and sinks closer to him in response.

Ilya can feel the idea of any punishment melting away from him. As if Ilya would ever leave Shane locked up alone in his playroom like that. But he couldn’t have Shane losing his cool around the guys. If any one of them left feeling uncomfortable tonight, Ilya knew it could have a really negative impact on the rest of the season for all of them. The guys had consented to being in a BDSM club, sure, but they certainly hadn’t consented to Shane humping them. Not that Ilya thought Shane would. But Shane had gotten excited around his friends before, and Ilya really didn’t want to take any risks.

“And aftercare. Aftercare’s like the best part,” Harris adds.

“What’s aftercare?” Troy turns to him.

“It’s how you take care of each other after a scene,” Harris explains with a warm smile. “It’s kinda just like cuddling and hanging out after sex, you know? Like the emotional comedown.”

“My ex used to hate doing that stuff,” Troy laughs awkwardly as he scratches at the back of his neck.

“Really?” Harris’ expression falters a bit. “That’s awful. I thought everyone liked to cuddle after sex.”

Troy shrugs and scrunches up his nose. “I mean…I do.”

“Me too,” Harris replies, and they’re both smiling at each other this time. It makes Ilya smile, too.

It isn’t long before the guys start having to slowly trickle out. It’s a Thursday night, after all, and they’ve got a morning skate before their game tomorrow. Ilya could tell Shane was getting tired, too. His perfect sleepy baby kitty who was going pliant in his arms, his eyes half-lidded.

Ilya just continues to hold him in his lap while the guys come over one by one to say their goodbyes.

“See ya, Rozy. See ya, Shane. You rock, buddy,” Bood says on his way out, offering Ilya a drunken salute.

“Get home safe, Bood. You too, Hazy,” he comments as Wyatt strolls up. “Thanks for being so good about all of this.” Ilya feels the need to say, pulling Shane a little closer into his side.

“Course, dude.” Wyatt shrugs. “It’s obvious you guys love the crap out of each other,” he points out, gesturing to Shane, who is clinging to Ilya and is so wiped he can barely hold his head up anymore. “What kind of friends would we be if we demanded to come to your BDSM club and then judged you for what you do inside of it? We were kinda fucking asking for it, were we not?” He pulls a sly grin, and Ilya laughs. “Speaking of…are you the one I talk to about putting in an application for membership?”

“If you are serious, then we can talk after practice tomorrow,” Ilya promises, his eyes sincere.

“Aye, aye, Cap. Let’s win this one tomorrow, yeah? For Shane.” Wyatt raises his fist in the air, and Ilya rolls his eyes fondly when several of the other guys do, too.

“For Shane!”

It shouldn’t bring tears to his eyes, but it nearly does. Sometimes, coming out could feel like a never-ending battle. Something they have to keep doing over, and over, and over again. Coming out as friends. Coming out as gay. Coming out as a couple. Coming out as fiancés, and now, finally, Shane coming out as a sweet little kitten, and Ilya, his dedicated, loving owner.

Ilya knows it’s only half of the fight. He knows there’s still a whole world out there that they’re going to have to face eventually—a world full of people who may not be quite as accepting as the wonderful friends they’ve been lucky enough to stumble upon in this lifetime. But there’s something about it that still feels monumental, a massive shift taking place as every piece of the puzzle slowly starts to slot together and the big picture, at long last, begins to come into view.

It’s bright. It’s beautiful. It’s the cat-alyst Ilya needs to keep going. To know that he’s done right by Shane by bringing him into this world. Even if the best of it—and the worst—were still yet to come.

Shane is half asleep in his arms, but there’s a sated smile on his face that Ilya can’t deny, and even though he’s only mildly conscious of what’s going on around him, he seems content. Happy in a way he wasn’t when Ilya found him. The night feels like a success, and the future is so fucking vibrant. They’re not free just yet, but they’ve got more safety people around them now, almost to the point where Ilya barely feels like they need to break free at all. He hopes, for a while at least, that it can be enough.

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