Chapter Text
“And… we’re out,” called Jack, the producer for “Gay Girls and Goals,” as the red lights on all the cameras and microphones winked off. Ilya felt Shane exhale beside him, and he pressed his fingers into a massage on the nape of Shane’s neck.
“Wow,” breathed Luna, fingertips dabbing at her lower lash line again. “That was beautiful, you guys. Thank you so much for trusting us with… everything.”
Shane smiled. “You made it easy.” Ilya always loved these moments with Shane right after a press commitment ended — the tension slowly ebbed out of Shane’s shoulders, and he let himself lean against Ilya for support. Even if this was easily the best press interaction they’d ever had, old habits died hard for Shane, Ilya knew.
Cassie stood up, even as she wiped her own eyes. “Okay, so we know you have to run to LAX, which is not a thing anyone is ever able to do easily, so we won’t keep you. But we’re going to go into the edit right away, and should have the final cut for you to your approval by tonight —” she glanced at Jack, who nodded, “—and then if you say we’re good to go, we can post it as scheduled by tomorrow.”
“And please don’t worry about telling us that you need stuff cut,” Luna added, sliding her note cards onto a side table beside the couch. “You both shared a lot, and if you think about it, or talk to Yuna, and decide you want something cut, that is absolutely no problem.”
“Thank you,” Ilya murmured as Shane got up, clearing room for Ilya to get to his feet. “I don’t expect that will happen. We knew…” his fingertips brushed the palm of Shane’s hand, “we knew what we wanted to say.” He could feel a headache coming on. Being this careful with his English for so long, even after all these years, could wear on him.
“Yeah, it was time,” Shane said, rolling back his shoulders in a stretch. “Thank you again. We really, really appreciate it. And sorry for cutting into your weekend—”
Cassie was already shaking her head, ginger curls bouncing. “You absolutely do not need to apologize for that. This is easily the biggest interview we’ve ever gotten, and even if it wasn’t, you two were genuinely the best, kindest guests we’ve ever had.”
“Eh, Hollander was kind. I was asshole.”
Luna snorted and clapped a hand over her mouth. “I think that’s the brand, though.”
Ilya laughed once, the sight of Shane’s soft smile glowing like an ember in Ilya’s chest. “I have a reputation to keep.” He held out his right hand to Luna, who was closest. “Thank you again. We’re very lucky that it was you.”
Luna ignored his hand and slowly spread her arms wide, giving Ilya the chance to turn her down, but he grinned and pulled her in for the hug. Over her shoulder, he saw Cassie gently wrapping her arms around Shane.
They traded, laughing a little, before Shane took Ilya’s hand again. “We can’t say enough how much we appreciate you. You clearly put a lot of work into prepping for us, and it means a lot.”
“Oh, please.” Cassie waved him off, nose wrinkling. “It was genuinely so much fun to do. And it says a lot about the two of you that you came to us, to this kind of show, for this conversation. So thank you.”
“Of course.” Ilya grinned. “You will watch the Voyageurs game next week, yes?”
Luna cackled as Cassie grinned. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
***
Outside, the LA sun doused them in warmth, and Ilya found himself looking forward to the overcast skies and brisk leaves in Ottawa. Shane checked the time on his phone as they made their way through the parking lot to the black car that Lola in the Centaurs front office had set up for them for the afternoon. The rest of the team had flown out that morning, and Shane and Ilya were due to arrive in Ottawa about four hours after them. As Hank, the driver, moved to get out of the front seat to open the back passenger doors for them, Shane muttered, “Might have time to go to In n Out before the airport?”
Ilya smiled, even as he waved at Hank to keep his seat. He loved Shane for the progress he was making with his diet, turning his relationship with food into something less restrictive and more intentional, something that allowed Shane to enjoy himself more. Even so… “I don’t want to risk it. Let’s just go and eat overpriced burgers at the airport, yes?”
Shane pocketed his phone again. “And purchase iced coffee?”
Ilya nodded, serious. “And purchase iced coffee.” Before Shane could reach for the car’s door, Ilya dropped Shane’s hand to touch his wrist, holding him still. “Spasibo,” he whispered.
Shane lifted his free hand to brush the backs of his fingers across Ilya’s face. “Vsegda,” he murmured, sunlight dancing in his dark eyes. “Vse.”
Gay Girls and Goals podcast ✅ @GayGirlsGoalspodcast
Interview Announcement: This week on Gay Girls and Goals, the girls welcome @shanehollanderhockey and @ilyarozanov81 to the studio!
Allie!!! @eversince2017
Omg omg @ilyasmole girl look!!
i said 5️⃣0️⃣ @ilyasmole
First joint married interview first joint married interview first joint married interview!!! Lock in!!!
WE'RE SO BACK 🦫 @censbeliever
Love this concept!!! Everybody say thank you Yuna!!!
shane's freckles ✨ ✨ ✨@shanesfreckles
do you guys think we’re finally gonna get confirmation that they got together at the 2017 ASG
hollanov forever 💙🖤 @hollanovvvv
Omg I hope so! I think about the helmet kiss approx 3x a week
Pike Kid #5 @hayyyyydennnn34
You guys gotta get over it that’s just how europeans are
hollanov forever 💙🖤 @hollanovvvv
…they’re literally married
Gay Girls and Goals podcast @GayGirlsGoalspodcast
Today we’re honored to put up a really special Interview Monday episode of Gay Girls and Goals. @ilyarozanov81 & @shanehollanderhockey stopped by to talk about their love story, their careers, and who is really Yuna Hollander’s favorite child
Cassie Archer! 🏹 ✅ @cassiearcher96
All jokes aside, Luna and I feel lucky beyond words that we got to be the space where these guys told their story.
Luna Preston 🌖💜 ✅ @lunapreston
I have never cried this much on our set. What a joy it was to have this conversation. Now I gotta redownload Hinge.
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
thank you so much, Luna and Cassie. This was very difficult for us, and we could not have done it without you taking such good care of us.
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
Luna and Cassie, we are very grateful. And Luna, I am serious: Find a podcaster as good as you and spend the next ten years pursuing her. It will work.
Luna Preston 🌖💜 ✅ @lunapreston
Yeah okay it makes sense to me why you get checked so often
Daisyyy 🌼 @babydaisy
Wait, ten years?
Cassie Archer! 🏹 ✅ @cassiearcher96
… we think you’re going to enjoy this one
shane’s BEAUTIFUL freckles ✨ ✨ ✨ @shanesfreckles
HOLLANOV NATION HOW WE FEELING????
THE WHOLE TIME 💙🖤 @hollanovvvv
fucking insane thank u for asking bestie 🫠
Anya Hollander-Rozanova 💖🐶 💖 @puppyanyahr
two….. thousand….. and ten…… 🤪🤪🤪
Nina 🐥@chirpyrozy
WATCHING ILYA PLAY HOCKEY IS A THING OF BEAUTY IT IS INFURIATING HOW GOOD SHANE IS AT THIS GAME WHAT THE HELL CALL ME AN AMBULANCE
Carter Vaughn ✅ @cvaughnNY
@shanehollanderhockey proud of you, brother. We’ll keep pushing forward together.
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockey Thanks, Vaughnny. Love you.
Allie!! @eversince2017
Hey does anybody know how to change a twitter handle because hOLY SHIT 🫨🫨
Daisyyy 🌼 @babydaisy
Oh i’m ilya rozanov. I’m captaining my scrappy underdog team to an unprecedented start of season. I lead the whole NHL in goals. I’m married to the most beautiful man in the world. I have a perfect dog. My in laws love me. Girl fuck you.
[@ilyarozanov81 retweeted this tweet]
Daisyyy 🌼 @babydaisy
FUCK OFFFFFFFFF
Troy Barrett ✅ @troybarrettottawa
It would be funnier if this wasn’t also exactly how he sounded in real life
Josh Boyle ✅ @boyleinottawa
Fr like i just read it in the accent
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
Big words for men who I assume don’t want to do bag skates tomorrow.
Troy Barrett ✅ @troybarrettottawa
Roz you have never once made us do bag skates during the regular season. you’re too nice. Marriage made you soft. the threat has lost all power.
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
This is homophobia
Troy Barrett ✅ @troybarrettottawa
Boy do I have news for you about me.
Daisyyy 🌼 @babydaisy
The entire Cens offense is in my mentions chirping each other put this on my fucking tombstone
🌸🌷priti in pink 🌷🌸 @priti_ramamurthy
Hey uhhhh did anyone else get to the part where ilya said shane waved like a penguin and then mcfreakin lose it
celeste 🧚🏽♀️@shanemybeloved
the penguin wave… the freckles… of course i had a crush…
🌸🌷priti in pink 🌷🌸 @priti_ramamurthy
Like literally they were just seventeen and they were in love and they kept finding their way back to each other….
center of his universe 🥰🐛🌟 @shaneholeander
like am i supposed to just move on with my life after this interview
Hockey Forever @freedallasss
Going on some stupid podcast nobody cares about instead of taking questions from actual journalists is a bitch move, but what else do you expect
Sweetiepie Luca 🍰 @babygirlhaas
They are journalists. We let women be journalists now.
center of his universe 🥰🐛🌟 @shaneholeander
A dallas kent stan with a bad take? Fork found in kitchen
Sweetiepie Luca 🍰 @babygirlhaas
MONTREAL VOYAGEURS COME OUTSIDE I JUST WANNA TALK
Nina 🐥@chirpyrozy
Nobody’s gonna jump you Montreal!!! We just have some questions!!!
shane's BEAUTIFUL freckles ✨ ✨ ✨ @shanesfreckles
Ok but for real….shane what were you not saying….we ride at dawn….
Jennie 🦋💙🐳 @voyajennie
Yeah like Hollander has been talking about wanting to retire with Montreal since the 2015 Stanley Cup. it sounds like stuff got super bad super fast?
🌸🌷priti in pink 🌷🌸 @priti_ramamurthy
Fr and also he was the only Asian Canadian player in that locker room for like. His entire run with the team?
july 25 💍 @hollanovwedding
No bc look at this look how much happier he is during a regular szn ottawa game than he was when he literally won the Stanley Cup in m*ntr**l [PHOTO ATTACHMENT: one image of Shane Hollander on the ice in full Centaurs away uniform, stick in hand, laughing at something out of frame. One image of Shane Hollander, in Montreal home uniform sans helmet and gloves, hosting the Stanley Cup overhead, expression focused with a faint smile]
Jennie 🦋💙🐳 @voyajennie
Yeah i’m a lifelong voyageurs fan and i’ve never seen shane look like this…
shane's BEAUTIFUL freckles ✨ ✨ ✨ @shanesfreckles
I mean you don’t have to be a lifelong voyageurs fan [LINK: Ottawa Centaurs Team Store: Purchase Hollander 24 Home Jersey]
celeste 🧚🏽♀️@shanemybeloved
Guys look i just rewatched them presenting the Lady Byng at the 2014 NHL awards this is insane like shane said he already knew he was quote in trouble unquote for ilya by then??? When they took that stupid selfie??? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VbHgPZaQI
Nina 🐥@chirpyrozy
Also look at the 2011 ASG interview they were talking about. You can see ilya get overwhelmed and shane cover for him but you can only see that if you’re looking bc my boy did it so subtly!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX9kT_oNk
Allie!! @eversince2010
If we’re hurting our own and each other’s feelings here’s the ESPN coverage of shane getting hit in that 2017 game. You can see ilya’s faaaaace https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nzBeuzz0
celeste 🧚🏽♀️@shanemybeloved
- Extremely uncalled for of you and 2. Literally how did we all see ilya’s face here and not like. Get it immediately.
Scott Hunter Admirals ✅ @HunterAdmirals21
You guys could have just texted me. At any time in the last four years.
Scott Hunter Admirals ✅ @HunterAdmirals21
But in all seriousness, thank you @shanehollanderhockey and @ilyarozanov81 for sharing this. I know what it is to hide, and I know the pressure it puts on relationships.
Scott Hunter Admirals ✅ @HunterAdmirals21
I’m really happy that I was able to help you. I know that telling your story will help others. Love you guys.
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
Love you too, Hunter. Happy retirement ❤️🦕💀
Scott Hunter Admirals ✅ @HunterAdmirals21
Do you ever take a day off?
Daisyyy 🌼 @babydaisy
tired: ilya rozanov hates shane hollander
wired: ilya rozanov loves shane hollander
inspired: ilya rozanov loves shane hollander and fucking hates scott hunter
Katie C. 🍫@kitkatkatie
“strangest prettiest boy i had ever seen” “very rude” “it’s so fucking irritating” “the competition makes it hot” “boring” GUYS IF I SPEAK —
Brienne🦄🔮💜💖💙 @hollanovunicorn
Honestly Roz flirting via chirp is probably the least surprising part of all of this
Yuna's Google Calendar @momageryunaa
“I am very proud that I get to have the hottest, smartest NHL player on my team and as my husband. It’s a big win for me, personally.” Sir I diagnose you with “down catastrophic bad” disease
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
Oh no somebody call a doctor for me this is so bad how will i survive
Yuna's Google Calendar @momageryunaa
Shane willingly putting up with all of this 24/7? He’s god’s strongest soldier
Anya Hollander-Rozanova 💖🐶 💖 @puppyanyahr
Ilya not liking hockey until he got to Boston… multiple times saying Shane was kind to him… recognizing that Vaughn had more space than Shane to talk about difficult stuff because Vaughn had the support of his organization… in therapy on antidepressants…
Maddie Moo 🐮🤠 🔒 @boodsleftskate
Gonna go on priv to say this but like. Should we dig up his father and kill him again.
Anya Hollander-Rozanova 💖🐶 💖 @puppyanyahr
Babes i’m down
Izzy 🍄 @isabelle_levesque
Luna jumping off the couch and running around screaming crying throwing up as soon as Ilya said 2010 is so valid actually because bro what the hell imagine getting this info while you’re literally at work
center of his universe 🥰🐛🌟 @shaneholeander
Right omg i feel like the next few weeks are just gonna be all of stantwt going through old clips and Noticing and Realizing and Discovering
Izzy 🍄 @isabelle_levesque
Like Kylie told us to in 2016… she was trying to tell us…
center of his universe 🥰🐛🌟 @shaneholeander
King Kylie always right
Shane Believer 🐐@teamhollander2424
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.” - Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice. ILYA ROZANOV CAN YOU FIGHT
Ilya Rozanov ✅ @ilyarozanov81
да https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rozanov_drop_gloves_compilation
Shane Believer 🐐@teamhollander2424
….omg ok sorry Mr. Rozanov it was a joke i take it back
Matt C @matty478
We gotta go back and audit Hollander and Rozanov’s whole careers. If they’ve been fucking since they were drafted, every win they’ve ever had is invalid.
Anya Hollander-Rozanova 💖🐶 💖 @puppyanyahr
Explain this to me in small words bc I can’t even get mad it’s too confusing
Matt C @matty478
You don’t think it’s a problem that they’ve been throwing games for each other for years?
Jake from Ottawa ‼️ @gocensgo1990
I mean. The win-loss rate between MTL and BOS when that’s where they were is tied. If they’ve both been throwing the same number of games for each other, then if they hadn’t the rate would be the exact same so then they would have… won the same number of games?
Go Sharks Go 🦈 @letsgoshorka
Ok i don’t even go here but that’s funny as fuck
Mia 💋 @uuuh-melia
Shane saying Rozy is a great player because Rozy thinks so fast and is unpredictable and Rozy saying Shane is a great player because Shane studies you and can predict everything you do oh they’re really twin flames i’m sick i hate them
Jake from Ottawa ‼️ @gocensgo1990
And they both play for Ottawa now baby!!
I'll Find My Way Back to You 🌈🌦️ @shaydentruther
Today must be so hard for Hayden… I hope he’s taking care of himself. This has to hurt.
Brienne🦄🔮💜💖💙 @hollanovunicorn
Girl it’s over it’s been over since December 2008 give it up
Eating Disorders Foundation of Canada ✅ @edfca
We here at EDFCA want to thank @shanehollanderhockeyplayer for his bravery and vulnerability in discussing orthorexia in professional hockey spaces. Like Shane says, when your body is your job, it can be easy to slip into unhealthy patterns. The more we know, the more we can support each other.
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
Thank you for your work.
Blackhawks 2021 🪶@goblackhawks298
man i don’t even fw the gay shit like that but montreal losing the plot so fuckin bad that we all now have to deal with hollander and rozanov on the same fucking team is so embarrassing
that's MY dinosaur 🦖 @scottshunters
[PHOTO ATTACHMENT: Clickhole Headline — “Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point”]
i hate hockey 🍿🍋 @tricia_sandoval
If my best offensive linesman was noted rapist patrick kane i’d maybe sit this one out
center of his universe 🥰🐛🌟 @shaneholeander
“I also do not need anyone to throw games for me. Be serious.” What is WRONG with him (affectionate)
Cliff Marlow ✅ @boston_marly
Honestly he’s just kind of like that
center of his universe 🥰🐛🌟 @shaneholeander
Omg hi Marlow
Brienne🦄🔮💜💖💙 @hollanovunicorn
THREAD: Ok so if shane and ilya were together (situationship, serious, etc) since TWO THOUSAND AND FUCKING TEN, here’s a thread of all the photo shoots for brand deals Yuna had Shane in during that time
gay romantic celly ⛑️😘 @helmetsmooch
OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THE 2014-2015 CALVIN KLEIN CAMPAIGN I NEED A TIME MACHINE AND A SPYGLASS
marie watches hockey ♊️ 🦫@cens_hope_eternal
My personal fave has always been the Rolex ads with the suits and the dress shirts with the slut button unbuttoned
Brienne🦄🔮💜💖💙 @hollanovunicorn
Girl wtf is the slut button
marie watches hockey ♊️ 🦫@cens_hope_eternal
Um it’s what it sounds like? There’s the collar button, then the collarbone button, then the tie button, then the “i can kind of see your chest hair” button. Then the slut button.
Brienne🦄🔮💜💖💙 @hollanovunicorn
Ok ur so right i apologize for snappin
marie watches hockey ♊️ 🦫@cens_hope_eternal
Literally no worries we are all at our most insane today
Hayden Pike ✅@hayden34pike
Lucky to know you, @shanehollanderhockey. Grateful for your friendship. So happy to see you thriving. Love you.
Hayden Pike ✅@hayden34pike
@ilyarozanov81 is fine too I guess
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer
Love you too, man
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
Tell the good Pikes (Jackie, Ruby, Jade, Arthur, Amber) that Uncle Ilya and Uncle Shane say hello
Hayden Pike ✅@hayden34pike
🙄
Siobhan 🔪🌻 @shiv_girlie
“The public has never known a version of me that has not wanted Ilya Rozanov” “Shane has been with me in my heart for my full adult life” SOMEBODY FUCKING SEDATE ME WHAT THE FUCK IS THISSSSS
Brienne🦄🔮💜💖💙 @hollanovunicorn
We are forgetting “I would have gone anywhere for Shane”
Siobhan 🔪🌻 @shiv_girlie
And baby he means it he went to fucking Ottawa!!!
Sweetiepie Luca 🍰 @babygirlhaas
Yes he did! He rebuilt our franchise! He got us back to the playoffs! And he’s gonna get us the Stanley Fucking Cup!
Tony Rojas ✅ @antoniorojasLA
Thank you, @shanehollanderhockey, for starting this conversation about race in hockey. I was the only Latino kid in my junior league, and whenever I tried to talk about being treated differently, I got shut down for not being a team player. Hell, even going by Tony and not Antonio was a choice I made because of all this.
Tony Rojas ✅ @antoniorojasLA
I know I’m not the only guy that happened to, but I do think I’m the only one who didn’t protect my mental health or my dignity by quitting. I’m lucky now to play for LA, one of the most diverse teams in the NHL, but I know we have more work to do.
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer
Thank you, man. Coming up with you and @cvaughnNY and @jeanjacquesboizieau and @the_boodman_grills has made this less lonely for sure. Maybe now that we’re older and more established, we can talk about it more?
Tony Rojas ✅ @antoniorojasLA
Hell yeah brother. Let’s do it. I’ll text you.
Carter Vaughn ✅ @cvaughnNY
Loving this new Shane Hollander who remembered who the fuck he is. Let’s go.
JJ Boizieau ✅ @jeanjacquesboizieau
Always my Capitaine!
i hate hockey 🍿🍋 @tricia_sandoval
(so i know they were having a serious conversation about race but can we talk about JJ Boizieau calling Hollander “always my capitaine” when G*l C*meau is actually JJ’s captain)
Pike Kid #5 @hayyyyydennnn34
Right like JJ u in danger girl
Jennie 🦋💙🐳 @voyajennie
Do u guys think JJ and Pike have put in trade requests or?
Pike Kid #5 @hayyyyydennnn34
Oh obviously. And then that’s all the players worth caring about. Where are we gonna go then???
Jennie 🦋💙🐳 @voyajennie
I mean. Ottawa.
Pike Kid #5 @hayyyyydennnn34
Damn.
i hate hockey 🍿🍋 @tricia_sandoval
Shane also didn’t respond to JJ but he did to Vaughnny and Rojas… and JJ was in that Montreal locker room…
Pike Kid #5 @hayyyyydennnn34
Hollander also didn’t reply to Boodram come on now
Jennie 🦋💙🐳 @voyajennie
- He plays on the same team as Bood and probably saw him at practice 2. Bood hasn’t tweeted since the 2016 US election. I think tricia is right.
Pike Kid #5 @hayyyyydennnn34
I fucking hate it here
THE WHOLE TIME 💙🖤 @hollanovvvv
I gotta stop thinking about Shane taking that hit on the ice in 2017 and Ilya not being able to do anything but stand there and demand answers from the medics before refs push him away. Like he couldn’t touch Shane he couldn’t even get off the ice.
THE WHOLE TIME 💙🖤 @hollanovvvv
Sure hockey is a contact sport but like Cassie said in the episode, Shane had never been hurt like that at that point. I can’t imagine my girlfriend getting literally knocked out in front of me and I couldn’t even hold her hand without outing her, or without endangering myself
THE WHOLE TIME 💙🖤@hollanovvvv
Everyone deserves to have their relationships respected. I don’t know how they made it so long without that. Fuck.
july 25 💍 @hollanovwedding
I’m there too but with the Cens plane emergency landing. Like ya everyone was okay and the Cens even played their game after that, but I was looking at the schedules and Hollander was in Seattle at the time. Literally as far as you can be while still in the same country
july 25 💍 @hollanovwedding
And Shane was out to the team by then! But *allegedly* Montreal was being shitty about it, so it’s not like he could have explained what was going on and been able to go to Ilya.
THE WHOLE TIME 💙🖤 @hollanovvvv
It’s so unfair. And the only reason they’re safe now is because the Centaurs is the organization that it is. Fuck.
Leah Campbell ✅ @leahplayshockey
I love everything about this interview. So proud of my friends @ilyarozanov81 and @shanehollanderhockey for stepping up and telling their truth. You know, all pro women’s sports are full of lesbians and bisexuals, and god forbid even some trans and GNC players, and the world hasn’t ended. Men’s orgs need to catch up.
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
Thank you, Leah. And yes, that’s such a good point. Once again the women’s leagues are beating the men’s. We’ll see you at camp again this summer?
Leah Campbell ✅ @leahplayshockey
Wouldn’t miss it. Go win that Stanley.
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
Leah would you be interested in a position as commissioner of the nhl in the event there’s an opening?
[this tweet has been deleted]
Leah Campbell ✅ @leahplayshockey
Delete this
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
Delete this
Nina 🐥@chirpyrozy
NOOOOO FREE MY BOY HE DID NOTHING WRONG
Princess Chloe 👸🏼 @chloe_elizabeth
Ok can Shane Hollander fight [PHOTO ATTACHMENT: zoomed in screen shot of the podcast video, focusing on Ilya’s hand brushing through Shane’s hair]
Izzy 🍄 @isabelle_levesque
Baby girl he can but he does not have to all his checks are legal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hollander_offensive_check_compilation
Princess Chloe 👸🏼 @chloe_elizabeth
Ok fair enough
🌸🌷priti in pink 🌷🌸 @priti_ramamurthy
Also no offense bestie Roz is right where he wants to be
🦫chuck the beaver🦫 @beaverchucky
Damn Roz really believed in the Cens from day 1, huh. Praising Bood and Chewie and Dykstra, knowing that the issue was coaching strategy and not player quality. Like I remember people saying he was just gonna take the paycheck and coast.
Wyatt Hayz 🧱 @brickwallhazy
Seems like Hollander believed in us too, if he’s confirming he took a pay cut. Damn. We got really lucky with gay love, huh boys?
A-a-ron @DJsillygoose
Well apparently it’s a statement of fact and not a jinx that we’re winning the stanley cup this year
Rose Landry ✅ @RoseLandryOfficial
I’m so lucky to have Shane as my best friend, and I’m so lucky that I got to meet Ilya through him. Proud of my boys always. So good to see you guys when you were in town. I’ll text later 💞
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
Love you, Rose. You have great taste in men.
Rose Landry ✅ @RoseLandryOfficial
We have this in common!
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
Actually I don’t like either of you
Siobhan 🔪🌻 @shiv_girlie
“Unlike my husband, I am here to air out personal grievances with other players.” I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT
🌸🌷priti in pink 🌷🌸 @priti_ramamurthy
Absolutely begging one of the journos to follow up on that in the next postgame where Hollander isn’t on press duty
shane's BEAUTIFUL freckles ✨ ✨ ✨ @shanesfreckles
Please neither Yuna nor Harris are ever going to let Ilya do press without Shane ever again. Like free my boy what did he want to say about Crowell
Siobhan 🔪🌻 @shiv_girlie
Omg *slips Danielle from the Ottawa Citizen sports page $20* ask him about Crowell PLEASE bestie
Shane Believer 🐐@teamhollander2424
Kind of a bummer we’re never gonna see Hollander wear the C again but like if we get all this instead I’ll take it
Shane Believer 🐐@teamhollander2424
And by “all this” i do mean Rozanov basically planning a murder of Jacques Theriault out loud on beyonce’s internet
Allie!! @eversince2010
No but what they value about each other’s leadership would make them such a good fit as captain and alternate with Bood! Holly demands perfection, Roz makes delivering that perfection, and i am quoting here, a “labor of love,” and Bood makes sure everyone is still friends at the end of the day!!! I love my sons ur honor.
gay romantic celly ⛑️😘 @helmetsmooch
Ya ok the hollanov of it all but also? Nuanced discussions about male eating disorders? racism in the NHL? treatment of prospects and rookies without responsible mentors? structural and interpersonal homophobia?
gay romantic celly ⛑️😘 @helmetsmooch
@cassiearcher96 and @lunapreston truly nobody is doing it like you queens
Cassie Archer! 🏹 ✅ @cassiearcher96
Aww thank you but really we’re just grateful to Ilya and Shane for being willing to talk about it with us. More honesty about player safety, in all forms, is good for everybody.
Sofiya Portnova 🌹💃🏻 @sofiya_portnovaaaa
Ok so hi my dad is russian my mom is a US foreign service worker and we lived in moscow until i was 10. First things first shane hollander speaks russian. His accent isn’t perfect, but like. That boy speaks russian. (1/x)
Sofiya Portnova 🌹💃🏻 @sofiya_portnovaaaa
Ilya called Shane “малыш.” → baby
Also “my little tomato” and “my little dictionary” and “my little candy” and "my love." it’s so cute i hate them (2/x)
Sofiya Portnova 🌹💃🏻 @sofiya_portnovaaaa
When Shane talks about realizing he was in love with Ilya when Boston won the Cup in 2014, he mentions something Ilya said in Russian on the ice. It was “this is for you, mama.” also made me cry when i watched it live back then (3/x)
Sofiya Portnova 🌹💃🏻 @sofiya_portnovaaaa
Then after shane tells that story, ilya says “you never told me that.” then shane says “i’m sorry.” (4/x)
Sofiya Portnova 🌹💃🏻 @sofiya_portnovaaaa
Then when they’re talking about the tampa ASG, and shane said he didn’t know what to do but he was ready to try to figure it out, and ilya looks like he’s gonna cry, shane says “you already knew that,” and “ilya says “yes but i didn’t realize” and doesn’t finish the sentence (5/x)
Sofiya Portnova 🌹💃🏻 @sofiya_portnovaaaa
I also want to add that Shane and Ilya’s read of the russian anti-gay laws are super, super fair. Ilya is a public figure, so if he were to be deported back to russia after being outed, he would 10000000% have been killed to be made an example of (6/x)
Sofiya Portnova 🌹💃🏻 @sofiya_portnovaaaa
Oh also after Ilya rips Theriault a new asshole, shane says “thank you” (7/x)
Sofiya Portnova 🌹💃🏻 @sofiya_portnovaaaa
In conclusion, they’re in love in english and russian and probably french too. thank u 4 coming 2 my ted talk (8/end)
Sofiya Portnova 🌹💃🏻 @sofiya_portnovaaaa
Also real quick Shane pronounces Ilya's name correctly. Usually english speakers stretch “ilya” to three syllables when really it’s two: ILL-ya. He also stresses the middle syllable in “rozanov” like you’re supposed to: roh-ZAH-nov. I know it seems like a small thing but it’s important.
Sofiya Portnova 🌹💃🏻 @sofiya_portnovaaaa
UH HELLO????? [PHOTO ATTACHMENT: screen shot of Twitter notification: @ilyarozanov81 liked your tweet: “In conclusion, they’re in love in english and russian and prob…]
Yuna's Google Calendar @momageryunaa
Ok I’ll say it: everybody involved is apparently taking it way too easy on Hayden Pike. like wym you didn’t see them in the video? We all saw them in the video immediately????
Mia 💋 @uuuh-melia
Idk man it kind of sounded like the boys are better for it. I’m not saying parts of it didn’t suck (@MontrealVoyageurs meet me in the fucking pit) but they just look so fucking happy
Yuna's Google Calendar @momageryunaa
Ugh that’s fair I guess I just wish they had been able to tell us how they wanted to. Like with the Russia and the Crowell of it all it had to be so scary, and after a bunch of other scary things had already happened.
Maddie Moo 🐮🤠 🔒 @boodsleftskate
no but the ottawa transition from “it’s so over” to “we’re so back” being fueled by a combination of gay true love and the trump-putin collab is just…
evan dykstra defender @dicks_strah
I get this is serious but calling it a collab is so fucking funny
Montréal Voyageurs ✅ @MontrealVoyageurs
The ownership, management, staff, and players of the Montréal Voyageurs have, and have always had, a strong commitment to respect people of all genders, races, and sexualities. We strive every day to make this franchise a safe and welcoming environment, while also protecting the ability of everyone to exercise their freedom of speech.
Montréal Voyageurs ✅ @MontrealVoyageurs
La direction, les propriétaires, le personnel et les joueurs des Voyageurs de Montréal ont toujours été fermement engagés à respecter les personnes de tous genres, races et orientations sexuelles. Nous nous efforçons chaque jour de faire de cette franchise un environnement sécuritaire et accueillant, tout en protégeant la liberté d'expression de chacun.
Marry Me Patrice @drapeausgf
Thank you for taking a stand to protect your players!
Anya Hollander-Rozanova 💖🐶 💖 @puppyanyahr
@drapeausgf Girl protect them against what? Questioning their own masculinity?
Siobhan 🔪🌻 @shiv_girlie
@drapeausgf @puppyanyahr Protect them against the consequences of their own actions so it would seem
Marry Me Patrice @drapeausgf
@puppyanyahr @shiv_girlie At least we have real men on our team now
Siobhan 🔪🌻 @shiv_girlie
@puppyanyahr @drapeausgf The real men who are 5 and 10 so far this season? I said oh I’m sure.
Anya Hollander-Rozanova 💖🐶 💖 @puppyanyahr
@shiv_girlie @drapeausgf Have we considered that maybe it’s gay to pass a puck to another man
🌸🌷priti in pink 🌷🌸 @priti_ramamurthy
How much did the lawyers bill you to write this
Jennie 🦋💙🐳 @montrealjennie
Free speech??? We’re calling homophobia and racism free speech now??? Ok I’m out I’m so sorry I can’t do this anymore the Victoire has always been better anyway idk why I was wasting my time
i hate hockey 🍿🍋 @tricia_sandoval
Hope it’s worth us literally never making playoffs again and also tanking any public goodwill boys
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
Okay.
🌸🌷priti in pink 🌷🌸 @priti_ramamurthy
@ilyarozanov81 Jesus christ lmao
Harris Drover 🏳️🌈🍎 ✅ @harrisdcentaurs
@ilyarozanov81 Hi Ilya! If you could answer your phone that would be great!
Troy Barrett ✅ @troybarrettottawa
Answer your fucking phone Roz
Sofiya Portnova 🌹💃🏻 @sofiya_portnovaaaa
LET HIM COOK
THE WHOLE TIME 💙🖤 @hollanovvvv
Lolllll this game on monday is gonna be fucking brutal
Montréal Victoire ✅ @MontrealVictoire
Here at the Victoire, we know that hockey is for everyone. We strive constantly to put that into practice, and are proud and honored to be part of a league @PWHL that puts work behind that knowledge. Congratulations to the @OttawaCentaurs for an incredible start of their season, and to @ilyarozanov81 and @shanehollanderhockey for their honesty, bravery, and decision to share their joy with the world.
Montréal Victoire ✅ @MontrealVictoire
Ici, au Victoire, on sait que le hockey est pour tous. Nous nous efforçons constamment de le mettre en pratique et sommes fiers et honorés de faire partie d'une ligue comme la LPHF qui concrétise cette conviction. Félicitations aux @OttawaCentaurs pour leur incroyable début de saison, et à @ilyarozanov81 et @shanehollanderhockey pour leur honnêteté, leur courage et leur décision de partager leur joie avec le monde entier.
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer
Merci beaucoup pour votre soutien et votre gentillesse. Je suis fière d'être un fan de la Victoire. 🦅
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
I refuse to learn French but I assume I agree with Hollander. Thank you to the Victoire, and we’re excited to be at your match against the Chargers next week ⚡️
Izzy 🍄 @isabelle_levesque
This is the funniest possible outcome I love women I love gays I love petty I love hockey
Sweetiepie Luca 🍰 @babygirlhaas
Lmaoooo the PWHL stays winning what a time to be alive
gay romantic celly ⛑️😘 @helmetsmooch
“Some rumors are persistent for a reason” Oh I am building an enemies list and it has the entire V*y*g**rs roster and management and coaching staff, maybe minus their rookies, but even they’re on thin ice
Izzy 🍄 @isabelle_levesque
And Crowell
gay romantic celly ⛑️😘 @helmetsmooch
Tbf he’s been on my enemies list ever since shane and ilya were photographed leaving the NHL offices bc uhhh [PHOTO ATTACHMENT: A paparazzi shot of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, clearly taken from across a busy street. Shane looks furious but Ilya seems to be hiding a smile]
Izzy 🍄 @isabelle_levesque
Ya something Bad happened in those offices but whatever it was also seems to have activated Roz’s inner chaos demon so
Izzy 🍄 @isabelle_levesque
NOT ILYA ROZANOV LIKING THAT TWEET WTF SIR WHAT DO YOU KNOW
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
I have been told that I have no comment
gay romantic celly ⛑️😘 @helmetsmooch
“Oh Shane dogwalks Ilya” “Oh Ilya dogwalks Shane” there’s actually one person in charge here and it’s Yuna Hollander
[@shanehollanderhockey retweeted this tweet]
gay romantic celly ⛑️😘 @helmetsmooch
…now they’re just fucking with us
shane's BEAUTIFUL freckles ✨ ✨ ✨ @shanesfreckles
Team i must admit that between Shane saying they’re such evenly matched players that there's no real way to say who’s better and Ilya saying he has no regrets because everything he’s been through has led him to a life with shane, i am lying on the floor staring at the ceiling and not a productive member of society.
Princess Chloe 👸🏼 @chloe_elizabeth
Ur so valid this actually seems like the only reasonable response i can’t believe i have to do my stupid job
Brienne🦄🔮💜💖💙 @hollanovunicorn
Everybody just remember that some things are just true: we will purchase iced coffee at the airport, the sun will rise in the east, Ottawa will win the Stanley Cup, and Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are deeply, deeply in love
i said 5️⃣0️⃣ @ilyasmole
“The rivalry was fake” “the rivalry was real” the rivalry was a secret third thing: foreplay
marie watches hockey ♊️ 🦫@cens_hope_eternal
Lads do I have this right is it the power of queer love that is going to win us the st*nl*y c*p
Mia 💋 @uuuh-melia
I don’t think you have to censor Stanley Cup bestie roz says it’s not a jinx if it’s true
marie watches hockey ♊️ 🦫@cens_hope_eternal
Ur so right how could i already forget that we will purchase iced coffee in the airport, the sun will rise in the east, and the ottawa centaurs are going to win the stanley cup
Mia 💋 @uuuh-melia
These are just facts! It’s not a jinx if it’s a fact!
Gil Comeau ✅ @comeaumontreal
What’s actually insulting is expecting special treatment just because of some woke bullshit. Maybe if you played defensively you wouldn’t get checked so much, pussy.
[this tweet has been deleted]
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
[PHOTO ATTACHMENT: screen shot of tweet by Gil Comeau @comeaumontreal: “What’s actually insulting is expecting special treatment just because of some woke bullshit. Maybe if you played defensively you wouldn’t get checked so much, pussy.”]
See you on Monday to talk about playing defensively, okay?
Allie!! @eversince2010
GET A HIT IN FOR ME CAP!!!
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
😈
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
Ilya.
Ilya. ✅ @ilyarozanov81
Yes, моя любовь?
i said 5️⃣0️⃣ @ilyasmole
Guys it’s been 24mins and hollander hasn’t responded do you think they’re *gunshot sounds*
Abby from Boston @beantownbaddie
Honestly losing Rozanov, even if it was because of true love, is still a bitter pill to swallow. But knowing that M*ntr**l lost Hollander because of homophobia makes it a little better.
Jennie 🦋💙🐳 @montrealjennie
Lizzo said it best…. We could have had a bad bitch… noncommittal… who helped us with our career… just a little…
Pike Kid #5 @hayyyyydennnn34
Girl you gotta be quiet or ottawa is gonna make that the goal song for Cens-Voyageurs next week
Jennie 🦋💙🐳 @montrealjennie
Not my problem anymore ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @CentaursOfficial
Don’t miss Cap @ilyarozanov81 and @shanehollanderhockey ‘s interview with Gay Girls and Goals podcast! And yes, both Rozy and Holly can fight. They are professional hockey players. We’ve been over this.
Katie C. 🍫@kitkatkatie
Hi Harris
a-a-ron @DJsillygoose
sorry harris
Brienne🦄🔮💜💖💙 @hollanovunicorn
Sorry Harris!
Anya Hollander-Rozanova 💖🐶 💖 @puppyanyahr
sorry harris :(
Shane Believer 🐐@teamhollander2424
Sorry harris!!! Tell him i didn’t mean it!!!
Harris Drover 🏳️🌈🍎 ✅ @harrisdcentaurs
Seriously, guys, Roz doesn’t need the encouragement
@Gay Girls and Goalspod
[Image Description: Standing in the Gay Girls and Goals studio, from left to right, are Ilya Rozanov, Cassie Archer, Luna Preston, and Shane Hollander. Their arms are around each other’s shoulders and waists, although Shane is very politely hovering the palm of his hand over Luna’s skin. Their smiles are natural and easy]
Caption: @Gay Girls and Goals pod Did you miss our interview with @shanehollander and @ilyarozanov81? Catch it now (or, let’s be real, rewatch it) on Youtube or wherever you get your podcasts 🖤🦫❤️⛑️
@ilyarozanov81
[Image Description: New outtake from the 2010 CCM commercial shoot. Shane and Ilya are at center ice with a puck between them, but only Shane is in a face-off stance, even as he smiles brightly. Ilya is fully doubled over laughing.]
[Image Description: Shane, without his helmet and gloves but with the rest of his Montreal gear on, alone, lifting the Stanley Cup above his head in 2015]
[Image Description: Shane, dressed the same, grinning while passing the Stanley Cup off to Hayden Pike in 2016]
[Image Description: Ilya pressing a kiss to Shane’s helmet during the 2017 All Stars Game]
[Image Description: Shane, shirtless and in swim trunks and sunglasses, laying on his back on a dock beside a lake. An obscene purple hickey is just barely visible at his waistband.]
[Image Description: A selfie with Shane and Ilya’s faces pressed tightly together, a Christmas tree sparkling in the background]
[Image Description: Shane and Ilya, in full Eastern Conference uniform and gear, chirping at each other in the box at the 2021 All Stars Game. Wyatt Hayes, looking uncomfortable, sits between them.]
[Image Description: Shane, barefoot, sitting cross-legged on a patio, cuddling Anya]
[Image Description: A professional shot of Shane slipping a wedding band onto Ilya’s finger at their wedding. Both of them are tearing up.]
[Image Description: Shane in profile, wearing an Ottawa jersey with his name and the number 24 on the back of it over his white button down, signing is paperwork to join the Centaurs, while grinning broadly]
Caption: @ilyarozanov81 Вся моя взрослая жизнь. Моё будущее. Моя любовь.
@shanehollander
[Image Description: Teenage Shane and Ilya, wearing their WJPC team captain jerseys, shaking hands at the end of the handshake lines after the cup finals in 2010. Shane is whispering something to Ilya, and Ilya smiles softly.]
[Image Description: Shane, Ilya, and Titusz Korogyi on Draft Day, holding up their jerseys and displaying their fingers counting off their draft numbers. Ilya has a big cheesy grin on his face, but he’s looking to his right, at Shane. Shane’s smile is stiff and uncomfortable, but his fist brushes Ilya’s where their hands are gripping the sleeves of their jerseys.]
[Image Description: Ilya in a tuxedo, on stage accepting the 2014 Hart Memorial Trophy at the NHL awards]
[Image Description: A still from an ESPN broadcast of a 2016 Boston-Montreal game, capturing Ilya checking Shane into the boards. Both of their broad grins are barely visible under their helmet visors.]
[Image Description: Ilya, shirtless in waist-deep water in the lake behind Shane’s cottage, mid-laugh, clearly getting ready to splash the camera]
[Image Description: Ilya standing between Yuna and David Hollander. Their arms are around each other, and Yuna and David are beaming as Ilya presses a kiss into Yuna’s cheek]
[Image Description: A professional shot of Ilya on the ice, focused, waiting for the signal to begin his turn at the shot accuracy competition during the 2020 All Stars Game]
[Image Description: Ilya in a sweaty t-shirt, clearly just back from a run, cuddling Anya and pressing kisses to her furry head]
[Image Description: Shane sitting in Ilya’s lap in an oversized patio chair in Zane Boodram’s backyard, plates of barbecue on the table beside them, laughing at something off camera.]
[Image Description: Ilya and Shane at the center of a crowd of uniformed and geared-up Ottawa Centaurs players, celebrating their November 2021 win against the LA Kings. Ilya and Shane’s foreheads are touching as they smile.]
Caption: @shanehollander: Центр моей вселенной
Seven Months Later
[Begin transcript]
Intro: jazzy, acoustic guitar music plays as a pastel blue background fades in. The words “Gay Girls and Goals” scrawl across the screen in big, loopy, pink cursive.
[The title card fades out to show Cassie and Luna both seated on their pink couch, mic rigs in place before them. Luna is cross legged with an Ottawa Centaurs Chuck the Beaver plushie in her lap, and Cassie wears a red and black bandana tied around her hair.]
Luna: Hello hello! Welcome back to Gay Girls and Goals, your podcast on all major league sports news for women’s and men’s leagues, for the girls, gays, and theys!
Cassie: Let’s skip the rest of the intro, and just roll the tape.
[the screen cuts to a clip of the Gay Girls and Goals interview with Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander in November. Ilya is smirking, and Shane somehow looks both annoyed and incredibly affectionate.
Ilya: And then we will bring the Stanley Cup to Ottawa.
Shane: Ilya.
Ilya: You worry too much, Hollander. I keep telling you is not a jinx if it is true. Is it a jinx to say we will purchase iced coffee at airport? Is it a jinx to say the sun will rise in the east in the morning? No? Then is also not a jinx for me to say that we will bring the Stanley Cup to Ottawa.
Shane: If we don’t, I’m blaming you.
Ilya: I am happy to take that, because it will not matter, because we will bring the Stanley Cup to Ottawa.
The clip ends.]
[Luna and Cassie start clapping and cheering. More cheering can be heard off camera.]
Cassie: So I guess that settles it. It’s not a jinx if it’s true!
Luna: [slaps her hand down on the couch cushion next to her leg] They did purchase iced coffee at the airport! [slap] The sun did rise in the east in the morning! And they did bring the fucking Stanley Cup to fucking Ottawa! [punctuates every word with another slap]
Cassie: We’re journalists and commentators, but we’re also fans, and it was so fucking easy to be fans of the Ottawa Centaurs this year. Holy shit.
Luna: It kind of became a joke over the season that the team ran on vibes, friendship, and gay love, but if that’s true maybe more teams should try it? Like these fucking guys had an overall win-loss ratio of sixty-one to twenty-one going into the playoffs, clinched their playoffs berth fully a week before anybody else just because no other team in the Eastern Conference could catch them—
Cassie: Including fucking New York! Fucking Boston! These powerhouse, legacy teams—
Luna: Knocked Detroit out in a five-game series for the first round, then swept Toronto in four games in the second—
Cassie: Which, let’s be real, had to have felt good for both Hayes and Barrett.
Luna: Oh, totally. So, so happy for them.
Cassie: And then the Eastern Conference Championship series with New York and Ottawa! The single gayest conference series ever! Four out queer players on the ice at once!
Luna: Seven games. Ottawa took game one, then New York, then two for Ottawa, two for New York, and Game Seven in fucking overtime. These two teams were so well matched.
Cassie: Maybe if more teams got gay they would play this well. But girl I almost had a heart attack and I didn’t even grow up a fan of either team! What the hell!
Luna: Okay but can we talk about Yuna Hollander?
[An image appears on screen of Yuna Hollander, standing up at her seat in the Canadian Tire Centre, clutching at the neck of her Rozanov jersey, face completely drained of color. David Hollander is visible in the corner of the shot, still seated, but with a fist pressed to his mouth. He is wearing a Hollander jersey.]
Luna: The devil works hard, Kris Jenner works harder, but Yuna Hollander is vibrating on a whole other frequency.
Cassie: Of course she is! Those are her boys!
Luna: And then Hollander scoring in double overtime to end the game, and then immediately dropping his stick and just absolutely roaring at the ceiling —
Cassie: I say this with the utmost, lesbianest respect… that was so fucking hot.
Luna: So was Roz charging into him from behind and lifting him up. Respectfully and lesbianly.
Cassie: And then we got the moment with Hollander and Rozanov, and Hunter and Vaughn —
[An image appears on screen of the four men at center ice after the game was called. All have their helmets and gloves removed. Rozanov and Hunter are hugging, while Hollander and Vaughn stand beside them, arms around each other’s shoulders, laughing at whatever Rozanov is saying to Hunter]
Cassie: And that’s on solidarity forever.
Luna: Truly this Vaughnny-Hollzy friendship must be protected at all costs. And then the Stanley Cup finals!
Cassie: The Stanley Cup finals! And truly we have to give it up to the Wild, they also had an incredible season, but literally who would have ever thought that any other team would be the underdog in any matchup with the Ottawa fucking Centaurs?
Luna: A five-game series. Not a record, but still really, really short. And most of that is owed to Wyatt Hayes, an absolute brick wall in that net. Holy shit. Two goals allowed in the whole goddamn series. What the fuck.
Cassie: Whatever they are paying that man, they should double it. He’s a future Conn Smythe winner for sure.
Luna: Future Hall of Famer.
Cassie: Absolutely. But of course all praise to the whole skater roster — I don’t think Wiebe ever ran the same line twice, offense or defense. I mean like I know mathematically he did, he had to, but it sure as shit didn’t feel like it.
Luna: Truly. If you’re Minnesota I don’t know how you prep for this kind of series.
Cassie: Which speaks so, so well to Ottawa’s locker room dynamics. It’s not just your own line you have to trust. You have to trust every single guy on the team. Rozanov and Boodram did such a good job cultivating that kind of team.
Luna: But they were ready to end it on Game Five. You could see it in their eyes. Like they walked into the Tire Centre that night knowing they were going to close it out there. Going into the first two periods with Roz centering Barrett and Haas, then Hollzy centering Boodram and LaPointe, putting up four goals with those lines, Hayes and the d-men, especially Chouinard and Dykstra, allowing no points from the Wild—
Cassie: And then switching it in the third period for the first line to be Rozanov centering with Hollander and Barrett on wings? For that moment to be the first time Shane Hollander played wing in an NHL game? They absolutely did not come to fuck around.
Luna: I know we can’t license the actual footage, and the stills won’t do it justice, but—
[An image appears on screen of Hollander moving ahead of Rozanov to cross ahead of him, reversing their positions of wing and center. Then, after a moment, a new image appears of Hollander passing the puck backwards without bothering to look if Rozanov was there to receive it. Finally, a third image appears of Rozanov cheering, The hand holding his stick is raised in the air, while his other hand is gripping the back of Hollander’s neck, where Hollander is pressed into his chest with his arms wrapped tight around Rozanov’s waist.]
Luna: —Real ones may remember that this is the exact move that they pulled at the 2017 ASG, with that whole crossover and pass back, except back then Roz was winging Holly. They just traded places. This is the helmet kiss move.
Cassie: I burst into tears. Like, just, fully sobbing. You were in tears too. I think everybody at our watch party was doing some version of ugly crying. And they did that shit with thirty-four goddamn seconds on the clock.
Luna: Sending out the line of just Haas, LaPointe, and Holmberg, so the rookies could have the last possession, was really, really sweet. Like Haas was already bawling when he won the face-off.
Cassie: Sarah and I don’t want kids, but like, that’s my son.
Luna: That’s all our son. Like that’s our baby.
Cassie: And then they won. They fucking won. We now live in a world where two married husbands kissed on center ice, surrounded by their teammates, after winning the motherfucking Stanley Cup.
[An image appears on screen. Shane and Ilya, helmets and gloves off, are locked in a passionate kiss, at the center of a scrum of their teammates yelling, hugging, and throwing their own gloves into the air, as red, white, and black confetti falls all around them]
Luna: That bitch Roger Crowell looked like he was sucking on a goddamn lemon when he handed the Cup to Rozanov.
Cassie: And of course Ilya ‘I never get to do anything fun’ Rozanov really made Crowell wait before he accepted the handshake. Fucking asshole. I love him.
Luna: But he’s such a fucking team dad like he barely did his own lap with the Cup before he handed it off to Bood so he could go hug the rookies.
[An image appears on screen of Rozanov, clearly yelling, in a massive group hug with Haas, LaPointe, Holmberg, and Young, all of whom are crying. Holmberg appears to have snot running down his nose.]
Cassie: It’s not a surprise he won the Conn Smythe. It’s been a long time coming, for him. And that doesn’t take away anything from how absolutely well-earned it was. He was the heart and soul of this team, all season.
Luna: I’m glad it was this year, you know? [clears her throat and grabs a tissue] With this team, that he had such a huge hand in rebuilding over the last four years. Like yes he would have deserved it in 2014 with Boston, but I think it means more now.
[An image appears on screen of Shane Hollander beaming as tears slide down his face, staring at Ilya Rozanov, who appears in shock.]
Cassie: And we can all agree that Shane is for sure getting that second alternate captain jersey next year, right?
Luna: Oh abso-fucking-lutely. Wiebe knows what he’s got. By the fucking way, this is only Wiebe’s second year as coach.
Cassie: Unreal. And… after everything Roz and Holly have been through, after Shane’s last year with Montreal… for them to be part of this team, building all of this together, and to get last night… [she pauses to sniffle and wipe her eyes] it really feels like justice, you know? It feels like joy.
Luna: I think that’s the lesson in all of this. If you’re honest, and brave, and smart, and if you work hard, and trust your team, and stand up for what’s right, good things can happen to good people.
Cassie: Isn’t sports cool, you guys?
Luna: Sports are so cool. And speaking of justice, if I can be a bitch for just a second… [cups her hands around her mic] Montreal finished seventh in the Atlantic Division. Out of eight teams.
Cassie: They beat Tampa Bay, I guess.
Luna: This is the first time they missed the playoffs since when? [she makes a show of checking her wrist for a nonexistent watch] Oh, since 2009, which conveniently is the last year before they drafted Shane Hollander. Guess they did need him after all, huh?
Cassie: Once the dust settles, I’m sure Roz will be so normal about this, and not petty at all.
Luna: Girl you know petty is that man’s normal.
Cassie: And he’s earned it!
Luna: Okay. I’m sure we’re going to be talking about this Cup series for weeks, but we do have other sports to talk about, including with the WNBA and the National Women’s Soccer League, and women’s sports are always more important than men’s by default. So we’re going to take a break, finish crying, and fix our makeup, and we’ll be right back.
[End transcript]
@shanehollander
[Image Description: Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov embracing and resting their foreheads against each other, still in their Centaurs uniforms but with their helmets discarded, moments after winning the Stanley Cup]
[Image Description: A group shot of all the Ottawa Centaurs and their partners and children, in casual clothes, in Zane Boodram’s backyard. Everyone is grinning broadly. Wyatt Hayes appears to be holding up two fingers in bunny ears above Luca Haas’s head.]
[Image Description: Yuna Hollander clearly holding her phone at an awkward selfie angle so as to capture David Hollander and Anya Hollander-Rozanova sitting on the couch behind her, watching a Centaurs away game on the television in their living room.]
[Image Description: From left to right, Kip Grady, Ilya Rozanov, Scott Hunter, Shane Hollander, Carter Vaughn, Troy Barrett, Zane Boodram, and Luca Haas beside the pool table at The Kingfisher. All are smiling broadly. Ilya and Vaughn are holding pool cues. Scott has one arm each around Shane and Ilya.]
[Image Description: Ilya Rozanov, Rose Landry, and Svetlana Vetrova seated at a table, playing some sort of card game. A facedown hand of cards and a can of ginger ale is beside Svetlana’s spot, clearly left by Shane so he could take the photo.]
[Image Description: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, and Anya all asleep on the couch in David and Yuna Hollander’s living room. Shane is lying on his back, Ilya’s head resting on his chest, Anya curled into the cushion beside their shoulders.]
Caption: @shanehollander Thank you. Спасибо. Merci.