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“Tilly death do us part.”
Pearl presses her eyes shut as her ears ring with the explosion. In the seconds between Scott’s death and hers, she feels the dull pain that comes through the soul bond, the impact of the TNT that must have been excruciating to Scott.
She knows the other Lifers feel their soulmates’ pain as if it were their own; she used to be like them. Before she knew who she was matched with, she felt punches and arrows that might as well have bruised her own skin. In the brief moment between finding out Scott was her soulmate and finding out he didn’t want to be, she could’ve sworn she felt a gust of wind blow through his hair.
Maybe all of the powdered snow made her permanently numb to a soulmate who didn’t want her. Maybe in rejecting the burden of loving her, he robbed her of the gift of sharing his pain.
Sometimes she wondered whether Scott also felt her injuries as though through an extra hundred layers of skin.
Her mind is ripped back to the present and out of her body. She takes a deep breath, preparing herself to open her eyes back up to look over the server one last time as a Spectator, and…
Suddenly, she’s in her body again. She panics, scrambling to her feet. She wasn’t supposed to respawn, she doesn’t know where she is, she-
She looks down at her hands. They aren’t shaking. The color she hasn’t seen since her first powdered snow bath turned her skin a sickly greyish blue is back.
Pearl gasps as guilt and disgust washes over her at the thought of torturing herself and her soulmate. Slowly, she smiles. The remorseless Red haze is gone in this place — wherever she is.
She looks up, taking in her surroundings. Did the universe respawn her into Hermitcraft early? Is that what happens to winners?
No, she thinks. The meadow around her is untouched, and her communicator hasn’t gone off once. She lifts it up and navigates to the players list. Just her and-
“Scott?? What on earth is going on?” she mutters. If she and Scott spawned into this world at the same time, where could he be?
Is she ready to see him? Does he want to see her?
Pearl scans her surroundings. She can’t be sure this isn’t another Life game, but she can at least feel that she’s not Red and she’s no longer bound to Scott.
Both are almost unsettling absences. Even though he wanted nothing to do with her, she had felt the underlying buzz in her nerves, ready to show her exactly what pain she wasn’t allowed to protect him from or help him deal with. The dull ache was worse than the sharp sting she felt before the numbness set in.
She frowns. Her former soulmate is in this world with her and she still doesn’t know where he is. Her hand hovers over her communicator, wondering whether she should reach out to him.
What would she even say? She has no clue what terms they ended on. Should she give him space?
Right as she’s about to drop her hand and go punch a couple trees, she hears a voice from behind her.
“Pearl!” She turns around to see a familiar figure with cyan hair — no green, yellow, or red streak.
He’s smiling at her. She can see the hesitance in his movements even as he runs towards her, but he’s smiling. Not the sad smile he gave her before he blew himself up, not the cruel, sadistic smirk she thought about as she threw herself onto cacti, but a soft grin that reminds her of axolotls and underground bases and the moment of anticipation before the Boogeyman selection.
He falters and comes to a stop a few feet from her.
“Scott.” She doesn’t really know why she says it. If anything, it’s an affirmation that he’s there.
He sighs. “I’m sorry.“
“It’s fine! I get it!” She half-lies, shrugging.
His eyes widen, and he shakes his head. “No- no- you don’t get it. I can explain, though, I promise!”
She tilts her head. Scott discovered that his soulmate had abandoned him all session to go to the Nether, and he didn’t want anything to do with said soulmate. As much as it hurts, she can respect the choice.
Scott seems to see something he doesn’t like in her expression and steps closer, frowning. “Pearl, you can’t really think what I did to you was okay.”
“I messed up too! Like you said. I didn’t even try to meet you, I went into the Nether and took loads of damage. It’s okay, really! I can’t say it didn’t hurt a little-” she pauses, thinking back to her unhinged, self-destructive rampage and knowing he’ll see straight through her. “Well, okay, it hurt a lot. But I forgive you.”
His eyes widen. “No! You shouldn’t forgive me! Just let me explain. Please.”
Pearl nods slowly, confused.
Scott takes a deep breath. “Okay. First I need to know- how much did my pain hurt you?”
She frowns. “At first, I felt all of your pain almost like it was happening to me, which I guess is how everyone else felt? Then, when I discovered it was you… I know it sounds crazy but I think I could feel everything you were feeling.”
Scott nods quickly. “It’s not crazy! I know I told you I narrowed it down to you or Martyn but… okay, maybe I’m the crazy one, but I could just feel that it was you. And… as soon as I realized that, I could feel everything that happened to you, only a lot worse.”
“Oh my god… was this before or after I went to the Nether??” Pearl demands.
He lets out a strained laugh. “Would not recommend being withered at like twice the normal amount of pain.”
“Scott, I’m so sorry. I get why you wouldn’t want to be around me after I did that to you.”
He shakes his head. “That’s not why I abandoned you. Pearl, I asked around, and nobody else was completely immobilized from the pain of their soulmate getting hit by a little fire. A couple people said they felt the elevated pain a little bit, but… anyway, the fact that you did too means I made the right choice.”
“What are you talking about?!”
Scott hesitates. “Can I take your hand?”
Pearl frowns. Normally, he wouldn’t even ask. Of course, that was before he left her to the wolves (luckily, the wolves were her friends) in a death game. She offers her hand and he grabs it. She thinks about escaping Boogeymen and being dragged to look at builds and transferring lives- all with this hand in hers. She smiles hesitantly.
“I love you, Pearl.” It’s not the first time he’s said those words — but it is the first time since Last Life.
She hesitates for a second, considering him and everything he’s done to her. “I love you too.” She isn’t lying.
He lets out a slow breath. “That’s our problem.”
Pearl’s face twists, confused and a little hurt.
Scott quickly elaborates. “Okay, what I figured out is that the more you want your soulmate to survive, the more you feel their pain. I guess it gives them an advantage because you’re absorbing more of it so they can fight better?”
Pearl frowns. “I guess I get it. Leave me, make me think you hate me, and we don’t feel each other’s pain as much. It makes sense.” She doesn’t sound fully convinced, but she’s more than happy to believe the best of her former soulmate and best friend, even if she’s still a little hurt and confused.
“Well… not quite. See, when I discovered it was you… well, you know I love you. And, honestly, you deserved to win the last game. You gave me two lives and I repayed you by beating you. So, you may not have felt my pain because you didn’t particularly want me to survive, but… I kind of did everything I did in that game so that you could win.”
Her hand falls out of his as she steps backward, shaking her head. “Scott…”
He winces and reaches out but doesn’t follow her. “I know. I just… I didn’t see any other way, and I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Pearl buries her face in her hands and takes a shaky breath. “You know I didn’t want you to do that, right? I don’t blame you for Last Life, and I don’t care if I had to be in pain every second of the game, I still would’ve wanted to spend it with you instead of stuck on my own throwing myself onto cacti and making people axe crit me because I couldn’t figure out why everything felt so numb.” She looks up at him, her eyes glassy and her breath coming quickly. “The universe made us soulmates and you made me think you hated me.” Her voice breaks on the last word and she angrily wipes away tears.
“I’m sorry,” Scott whispers and steps towards her. “I’m so, so sorry. I just wanted to keep you safe.”
“That wasn’t your choice to make!” she snaps.
“If I had told you, you would’ve wanted me to live so my plan wouldn’t have worked!”
She laughs, disbelieving, eyes still shining with tears. “Exactly! Because your plan was shit!”
He looks down. “…if I admit that you’re right will you think about forgiving me?”
Her eyes soften, and it’s her turn to take his hand. “I’m not going to lie, I’m hurt and upset. But of course I’ll forgive you. Like I said, I get it. Honestly, if I had figured it out instead of trying to keep Martyn alive, I might’ve done the same thing. It just… it sucks, you know?” She’s not sure what “it” is. Scott’s plan? The whole game that forced them into the situation to begin with?
Regardless, she has a feeling he gets it as he squeezes her hand. “I know. And again, I’m sorry. For abandoning you and for making the choice for you.”
Pearl’s smile looks half like a grimace, but at least it’s there. She lets out a strangled laugh and mutters, “c’mere, you.” She pulls him towards her, and he immediately wraps his arms around her and rests his head on her shoulder, trying to hug her hard enough to show how sorry he is.
“I’m still mad at you,” Pearl declares before her voice drops to a whisper, “but thank you. For caring.”
Scott huffs out a laugh. “Of course I care. Next time I’ll try to show it without emotionally destroying you and sacrificing myself.”