Chapter Text
Crack!
A twig snapped underneath his paw. He wasn’t at his A game today. This hadn’t been his first night patrol this week. He had taken patrols five days in a row. It was bullshit. He was tired and sluggish and could really use a nap.
When he was younger he thought that some day things would go back to some semblance of normalcy. At the very least he thought things would chill out, that Sam would loosen the reins a bit. They hadn’t seen a rogue vampire come through in almost two years. This seemed to put Sam on edge even more, he thought they shouldn't get complacent. That the minute they let up would be the minute the Volturi would strike.
Six years ago they had the Cullens backs. Naively they all thought this was a good idea, they had the treaty, and the Volturi had seemed far worse than the vegetarian leeches. Unfortunately this just put eyes on them. So after the Volturi had backed down to the Cullens they had started sending stray vampires into the reserve. They hadn’t realized it was the Volturi at first. They had been distracted by their own interpersonal issues, the most major one being how the pack was going to operate going forward. This ended up resolving itself with less fighting then Embry had originally thought there would be. Jacob didn’t want to be alpha, so he stepped down. He didn’t want to divide the pack, they were stronger together, and he felt far too young to bear that cross. He told Embry and Quill later in private that he felt he had no skin in the game. He had wanted to be Alpha to protect Bella, but now that she had left for Alaska with Edward and their baby he didn't have any fight left in him.
Jacob was sad to lose Bella but Embry and him rallied together, feeling like it was the two of them against the world as all of the other wolves began to move on with their lives, and their loves. This all ended when Kim's older sister came back from university to visit Kim. Kim’s older sister Becks was feisty, Embry couldn’t even complain about her and ever since Jacob imprinted they had been inseparable ever since… and Embry didn’t think he could feel anymore alone.
It started with one vampire every once and awhile. They all had this weird, almost like dust and something spicey, maybe incense. It was Jacob who suggested we ask Carlisle, Embry had thought it was him just wanting to find out any details about how Bella was doing up North. The next time a rogue one came through they caught him together with Carlisle, Renesmee, Alice and Jasper. They had been the only Cullens to stick around. This was how they confirmed that they had been sent by the Italian leeches. Carlile couldn’t tell them for sure why they had been sending scouts to check in on them. It took a year for the pack to come to realize their true intent. While sitting around a fire on the beach Seth said what the pack had all feared out loud, they wanted to see if they could turn the shapeshifters.
Once he said it, it seemed pretty obvious. They had been taking their time, watching them, taking note of their skills. Collin had asked why they weren’t sending the scarier leeches that had powers. They came to the conclusion that they couldn’t risk any of their more loyal attendants, so they sent freshly turned or useless ones to try their hand at turning them. This had been going on for the past four years or so.
Over the past couple of years the passbys became fewer and fewer. It started slowly, asking for a long weekend here, needing an evening off there, but soon the other members of the pack started getting far too used to asking Sam for time off. Really what could Sam say. Everyone had imprints that wanted time with them, and if he didn’t let up a little he was worried they’d end up taking a chunk out of each other. Even when he thought about it now, it made Embry's heart feel tight and his head feel hot. It had been literally everyone except Embry. Seth, Brady, Colin… They all had girls of their own. It wasn’t even like it was a recent development. They had all been imprinted 3 years ago in pretty close succession. Even Leah had met a guy in Port Angeles and was usually up there. She barely came back to the reservation anymore, except to do one monthly Patrol. Embry couldn't be mad at her though, she deserved to find happiness, and Adam seemed like a nice guy.
Sam didn’t really have a choice about shafting Embry with the extra work. Embry thought he could bear it if it weren't for the fact that he was almost always stuck with a young pup. It wasn’t like the others weren't doing any patrols, it just so happened that all the patrols he did were always with Seth, Brady, or Collin. They were nice enough kids, except for the fact that they couldn’t stop thinking about getting back to his imprint and…. well you get the picture.
Now he was pacing in the woods wondering where that kid was and getting increasingly irritated.
"Brady, where are you?" Embry thought to his patrol partner of the day.
"Sorry dude I got caught up with something." Ugh Embry didn’t want to see that.
"Get your head out of the clouds Brady. I want to be home before it's light outside so I can get some sleep. Becks and Quill always have pancake competitions on Monday mornings." Embry was looking forward to getting back to his friends.
Brady didn’t respond, just bombarded Embry's head with thoughts of Stacey.
The community had been good to the pack. He couldn’t complain about that. Old Quil had gotten a fund together and helped Jacob, Quil, and Embry buy a garage on the outskirts of the reservation. It was fairly close to forks so they actually got pretty good business. It had a huge apartment above it, big enough for all of them to live together. At the beginning it was just the three of them, and it had been a blast. Things never stay the same though. In the past couple of years Claire and Becks had moved in. They were great to have around, but they accentuated the hole that was growing in Embry's heart. The biggest plus to having their imprints around was that Jacob and Quil were around more.. Every night they drank, played pool and laughed like they hadn’t in a long time. Embry had to admit, he felt less alone in his loneliness when he had his family.
"I’ll take the shoreline today Brady, you go and check the outskirts of town, see if you catch any scents." He grunted as his paw tripped over a large log. Definitely not his A game, he thought to himself
"Aye aye captain." Brady goaded.
Embry made his way through the trees. He had chastised Brady for being late but he wasn’t in a huge hurry to be done trotting along the water. He didn’t know why but there was something about the coastline that drew him to it lately. Maybe it was his own melancholic mood that related to the crashing waves.
As he finally breached the trees he took in a deep breath as the salty air ruffled his grey fur. He loved it out here. He had always loved it. He had fond memories of surfing with Jacob and Quil. Now that he thought about it he really should get back out on his board. The waves were enticing tonight and he could tell a storm was coming in. The first beach was always windy like this the day before a storm, it always made for the best surfing. He shook his head, disappointed he hadn't checked earlier, maybe he could've gone out earlier. On second thought, he decided he might be too tired to risk going out there, maybe when he was off patrol again.
He glanced down at the rocks, and paused to watch a group of seals bracing themselves as the waves almost knocked them back into the water. He thought he was wrong, but it almost looked like they were having fun.
He took it all in for a moment. The sound of the waves clashing with the rocks, the soft sound of seagulls in the distance, and… was that laughter coming from the seals. No he must have misheard. He stood there listening for a minute feeling tension leave his body that he didn’t realize he had been holding. Maybe If a storm was coming he should take another patrol tomorrow. One of these days he would have to get some sort of benefit out of being helpful. He really had been Sam’s most valuable player as of late and tried not to put up to much of a fight. He decided he would do it alone tomorrow, he was really getting sick of Brady’s internal monologue and he knew that he would happily take the night off.
Sam wasn’t usually happy when he patrolled on his own, but it still happened. Brady or Collin were always shirking their duties for a second under the sheets with their girls. Seth was the only exception out of the younger members of the pack. He would never leave Embry hanging, but his mom, Sue, had him doing community college courses and no one wanted to pull him away from that.
Seth wasn’t even allowed to see Lizzie when he was studying. Lizzie was his imprint. Embry had only met her a couple of times but he heard from Leah and Sue that she was a sweet girl.
Embry watched as the grey clouds parted for a moment to let the moon peek out. Momentarily the water and treeline became illuminated in its glow. How romantic Embry thought snarkily to himself. He really thought he was the odd man out. Everyone else had imprinted pretty quickly after they first phased, he assumed that he'd be the same. That at some point he'd be walking down the street, look up and she'd be there. It had been over six years though and nothing. He was starting to think she wasn’t even in the same country. Maybe he had to go elsewhere. Take a trip to Australia or something. Maybe he could convince Sam to give him a month or two off and he could plan a trip. The romance of the moon got to him, yeah he was going to think about it a bit more then he’d plan something.
He kept tight to the coast as he went along the shoreline. There was something about the smell of the salty air that night. There was something sweet in it tonight… like a tangerine. Maybe he was just sleep deprived. He snuffled a little bit to see if maybe his nose was just acting up. But no it was still there, a sweet smell of tangerine laying underneath the smell of the sea. He was in his own head as he wandered close to first beach. He jumped back as his paw landed on the sand. That was when he saw the couple. They sat on a rock not too far from him. He could see their hands intertwined watching the waves while the man whispered love into her ear. It was an hour or two after dusk by now and it was pretty dark now that the moon had disappeared into the clouds again. He was transfixed by them for a minute. Had he just gotten used to being alone, or had he always felt this sad the whole time? He wasn’t sure anymore. When you're surrounded by so much love in your life, and loved by so many its hard to bring them all down. So he'd been pushing it down for awhile, trying not to make everyone feel sorry for him. Becks and Claire noticed the most, they saw him everyday. Becks had been doing a valiant effort of trying to set him up on dates, but Embry had no interest. He didn’t want to hurt the way Sam and Leah had.
Embry shook himself out of his thoughts, he didn’t want to be some creep watching a cute couple and wishing it was him.
That night the two wolves wandered around the reservation until dawn. They knew to call it quits when the light began to creep onto the forest floor and the birds began to sing their morning tunes. They met along the coast where Embry had seen the seals earlier. They confirmed what they both already knew, nothing out of the ordinary tonight. They both huffed a goodbye and headed their separate ways.
He could hardly ignore Brady’s giddy thoughts as he made his way back home. Embry found it gross… no he was envious of Brady. Embry was 22, he should be young and carefree, but instead he was saddled with all of the duties the rest if the pack shirked. He couldn’t be mad at Brady’s excitement to get home to the women he loved, Embry knew that he'd be exactly like the 19 year old if their roles were reversed.
He stood there for a moment, looking out at the water one more time as the coastline grew brighter. As he turned to start his jog home a shiver ran through him, making his fur stand on edge. The further he went from the water, the lonelier he felt. Maybe he would take Becks up on the offer of a double date with him and Jake this weekend. It would be his frist date in a while but it couldn’t hurt. One date wasn't falling in love, he told himself, but he couldn't help but feel a pang of fear that he would tear someone's heart just like Sam had done to Leah.
He paused as a rabbit ran by him. It looked terrified, worried that the large wolf would make her it’s next meal. Embry had no interest in the rabbit, he was really hoping a stack of pancakes were waiting for him back home.
He really missed having people to talk to about all this bullshit, but he was alone in this. He could remember not that long ago when Jacob would call the imprint a curse. They would both sit away from the others at parties once the music would lull as they watched their friends couple up to dance. They would muse about how this was some horrible force making you devote yourself to someone you barely knew, even if you didn’t want them… but that was then, and now it was all he wanted. He wanted what they all had. Unconditional love, a connection deeper than anything else. When Jacob imprinted he finally saw it for what it was, love. It was the universe, the creator, or whatever other metaphysical being pulled the strings telling them that this person would love them wholly and accept all that they are and ever would be.
Embry stumbled back to the large back yard of the shop. He had taken his time getting back and he knew that everyone would be awake by now. He was grateful to have this place, it made his loneliness bearable.
He phased back, grabbing the grey sweatpants and a matching hoodie he had in a small bin they kept at the edge of the woods for their clothes when they went on patrol. He pulled a hair elastic out of his pocket and put his hair up in a bun before walking up to the back door that would lead him up a flight of stairs to the apartment.
He sighed and took a deep breath before opening the door, grateful to hear the bustle of his friends upstairs.