Chapter Text
i’m on fire
Gasping for breath, seconds after she felt his hands being ripped off her neck, Emma slid to the floor. Her vision was coming back, the black spots fading as the bright, sterile lights came back into view. Voices were overlapping, she can't discern who is who.
“Emma, take deep breaths!”
“You’re okay, it's okay”
“What the fuck happened?”
The black dots fully faded from her sight as Dana’s face came into view, “Jesus, what happened?” Emma can’t think of an answer, every breath seemed to be getting shallower. Her lungs can't inflate, she is hyperventilating.
Robby rushes into the room, yelling at Ahmad to get cuffs on the patient. They both struggle to lift the patient back onto the bed. Too much is happening, and Emma cannot breath. She isn’t getting enough oxygen, her lungs are failing her, she is going to pass out. She was suddenly outside of Central 14 heading past the nurses station, with Perlah's caring arms guiding her. Everyone’s eyes were on her, still gasping for breath.
“McKay! We need you to come evaluate Emma!” yells Robby.
Dana tacks on, “South 16 is open, she needs oxygen” as McKay rushes over. Emma is suddenly laying down, an oxygen mask on her face. For the first time in what felt like hours, air was making its way into her lungs. It hurt. Each breath deepened the ache in her chest, but it was better than not being able to breath at all. McKay is leaning over her, and Emma feels a brace around her neck. Everything is coming back to her. She was attacked by a patient. Attacked at work. Strangled at work. All the warnings she laughed from her mother about the dangers of an Emergency Department. She was right all along. As Emma's eyes fill with tears, her breaths slow down and the ache lessens.
Shocking her out of her thoughts, Robby calls, “CT immediately, someone call ahead!”
Emma hears Dana reply, “On it!” as the tears pour down her cheeks. She is coming back to her senses now, and reaches up to take the oxygen mask off her face. She can’t discern if it had helped her panic or her injury, but she wants to talk. Dana rushes over to help her.
“It’s okay sweetheart, don’t try to talk. Here’s some water. We are going to take you down to get some imaging.”
McKay helps her into a wheelchair, even though she could probably walk. McKay and Emma notice her tremors at the same time. With a sad smile McKay says, “Don’t worry, you did everything right. We are going to get you all checked out.”
Vivi takes over walking Emma downstairs. She is the nurse closest in age to Emma, and she worries any chance of them being friends was now tarnished by having to be taken care of. They walk past a long line of patients waiting for a CT, and Emma feels so guilty cutting the line. As she lays down, preparing to get into the machine, she overhears Vivi talking to Dr. Barker, the radiologist. “Do you think she will need an ortho consult?” Baker responds, “It would be a nightmare to get them down here”. God, Emma hoped she wouldn’t need that. On her first day! Worse than being attacked by a patient would be also becoming a patient. Even if she was truly injured, she didn’t want to be a burden and take up her coworkers time, taking up a bed and calling other departments down.
Once the imaging was done, Vivi and Emma make a pit stop for some more water at the cafeteria. Emma was sure she could walk right now and get the water herself but Vivi insisted she should stay seated. Emma knew Vivi was also stalling, so the runners would have time to bring her imaging upstairs for McKay to look at and evaluate, and she didn’t mind. As Vivi makes her way back, Emma tries to speak for the first time, and is able to choke out a hoarse “Thank you.”
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As Vivi is stalling the imaging is delivered upstairs. McKay and Robby look at it together, Robby needs to ensure Emma is a priority in the ED right now. Robby speaks first, “C3 and 4 are concerning me”. McKay nods in agreement, “Do you think we need to call Park down?”. Robby doesn't want to do anything less, but his worry for Emma and the hospital's liability overrides his feelings, “Yea, let’s give the Shark a call.” McKay heads over to the nurse station to update Dana and get someone to make a run up to Ortho.
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Brendon has been having a terrible day. His early morning started off fine, waking up at 5 to hit the gym and shower before work. Working legs usually meant it was going to be good day. Then someone was in his parking space. No, the spots weren't assigned, but having a reputation in this hospital like Brendon’s meant everyone was more than aware of where he parked and stayed away, or so he thought. At least his schedule today was an ACL repair in the morning and a hip replacement right after, nothing crazy. Brendon loved a challenge, but he was sure he would be called down for something as it was the Fourth.
Despite the wrench in his morning, he continues on with the rest of his routine. He made his chamomile tea with a splash of milk and a huge glob of honey, Brendon did not do caffeine but he could be a sucker for sugar. He needs to be in complete control on work days, caffeine took that away from him. He observes the files on his desk, right where he left them the night before.
His first patient was nothing unusual, a college athlete who had an unfortunate accident. Brendon knew the patient had been anxious about the surgery and recovery. When they met last week, she had a ton of questions. He was happy to answer the surgical and recovery questions as long as they weren’t repetitive, but he was going to wait until she was under to see her this morning. The other staff members would be equipped to handle her nerves.
Her repair went well, and Brendon took advantage of his small gap to get in a protein shake. Then he has to scrub in for the next surgery, the hip replacement. The 60 year old women’s joints were more deteriorated then his team had anticipated, but he is the attending for a reason. Still, the surgery took a bit longer than anticipated, and he was looking forward to his meal prepped dinner.
While he scrubs out he always goes over his work, thinking about what could have been done more efficiently. Another interruption to his routine, the OR charge nurse Anne pops her head in. “Hey Park, I know you don't like to be interrupted while scrubbing, but we’ve gone analog. You will have to chart by hand.”
You have got to be fucking kidding. Toning it down to a glare, he inquires, “Why?”
“Some cyberattack at Presby, we shut down to get ahead of it. No clue how long we’ll be down, could be a long day,” Anne said sympathetically. She is an older lady, who always asks Brendon about his family. She knew he didn’t make them enough of a priority. He had turned down the invite to his sister’s barbecue tonight, luckily enough. Brendon knows he is going to get stuck in the holiday traffic when he finally gets out, due to the fireworks downtown.
Brendon tries to end the conversion with a stiff nod, but Anne continues with a grimace on her face, "The Pitt also sent a runner up, they need you for a consult down there. Some leg amputation from a water slide collapse." Well he is definitely going to be home late tonight. Analog charting and another surgery added to his schedule. He is annoyed with another surgery being added to his schedule, but maybe this one will be a challenge. Brendon heads down, hoping all the doctors would be competent this time. Night shift usually is, but dealing with day shift is miserable sometimes. He is aware it's a teaching hospital, but is it too much to ask for competent residents?
--
Apparently it is. Some kid down there didn't even know how to flush a wound. The waterslide patient is heading up to the OR soon, Brendon decides to take this time to prep his residents for the reattachment while taking his early dinner break. With a stature like Brendon’s he tends to eat around 4 p.m. at work, and then another meal once he was home and settled in. Being a big man, Brendon appreciated his food. Not for any self-serving desires, his job is incredibly physically demanding. His gym routine has been a requirement for him since med school. Brendon had been planning and preparing to be an orthopedic surgeon his whole life.
Luckily he ran into his residents, Dr. Martinez and Dr. Johnson, on the way to the break room. He grabs his chicken stir fry and rice, and sits down with them. Speaking first, "Walk me through a reattachment of a lower limb leg amputation Dr. Johnson." Dr. Johnson was a bit older than most medical residents. He didn't ask but knew she had a bit of an unorthodox journey to residency. This made her closer to Brendon's age of 31. He is a young resident, but that does not affect his confidence or control over the room. She was doing a good job, carefully articulating the necessary steps in detail, when he interrupts her, "Dr. Martinez, please continue." He speaks confidently, but is the quieter of the two. He finishes up his food and explains Johnson will take the first half of the surgery and Martinez will take the end. Brendon will of course scrub in to supervise, but it will give him time to formalize his thoughts about his early surgeries before charting.
The surgery went smoothly, and he sent his residents off to chart. With one hour left in his shift he was glad to have the quiet and time to finally update his charts even though it would be by hand. Halfway through his ACL repair chart, with 30 minutes left in his shift, someone started knocking on his door. With a deep sigh Brendon called out, "Come in." A young woman pokes her head in, clearly out of breath.
"Dr. Park! I have a message from the Pitt. They need you for a consult down there, Some altercation with a nurse and patient." Of course, it was always something down there. So hectic they couldn't even protect their nurses.
"Alright," Brendon responded, "I'll send down one of my residents." She had a look of hesitation on her face, she clearly knew his reputation but wasn't happy with his answer.
"What?" he barked out.
"Well Robby asked for you specifically."
"Fine." She sat there, appearing to be waiting for him to head out. He hates getting stuck walking with people. There was always the expectation of small talk, and he hated listening to people, and hated having to reciprocate even more. Brendon dismissed her, saying "I'll be down shortly."
As soon as she left he was up and heading down, choosing the staircase over the elevator like always. The Pitt was such a disaster, everyone talking over each other with no order. For gods sake he was just called down to consult on an attack on a nurse. It was always something. Dana spotted him immediately and shouted “South 16!" at him. With a nod, Brendon was off.
He knocked confidently on the wall, then pushed the curtain aside and heads into the stuffy room. A small woman is sitting in the exam chair. Her hair is in 2 short braids, her big brown eyes watery, but what stuck out to Brendon was the brace around her neck and the harsh red marks on her otherwise smooth brown skin. Brendon searched the rest of her for injuries. God, she was young, probably early 20s and he didn’t recognize her; she was probably new. Heading back up to meet her eyes, she displayed a confident look, but Brendon saw through it. She is nervous. Her light blue shirt is peeking out from under her navy scrubs, both shades of blue suit her. What the fuck, he has never noticed someone else's scrubs before, much less how they look on someone.
Robby clears his throat and speaks, jolting Brendon out of his train of thought, “Park, here are Emma’s images, we wanted a second opinion on C3 and 4.” So Emma is her name. Brendon finally broke eye contact as made his way over to Robby, he was forced to turn his back to her to observe the imaging. He could see why Robby is worried, but Park is the expert. He takes the film out of Robby's hands and makes his way over to the young woman, Emma, and sat down. Brendon wants to speak directly to her.
“Hello Emma, I’m Dr. Park. I’m the orthopedic surgeon upstairs. I don't think we’ve met before.” Brendon pauses here, needing to hear her voice or attempt at speaking to assess the damage to her throat.
Emma squeaked out a small “Hi,” quiet and scratchy, but she can talk. It doesn’t appear to cause her any discomfort to do so either, Brendon was watching her reaction very closely. Brendon continues with his evaluation, “I see why your doctors called me down here, but you don’t have anything to worry about.” Emma exhales with relief, the ache in her chest nearly gone. Brendon continues on, “I am going to remove this brace now, you don’t need it and I want to look at the bruising.” As he did so he felt himself getting angry, as angry as he did as a young man. He couldn’t imagine someone putting their hands on any nurse, but Emma? She seemed like the softest soul Brendon had met. He turned to look into her eyes again, and Emma managed a small smile. Jesus, she looked like sunshine itself. Brendon instinctively smiles back, before he caught himself- but not before McKay could notice. Immediately retreating back into himself, Brendon continues examining her bruises, ignoring how weird Emma makes him feel. His fingers lightly trace her soft skin, guiding her head in to get the best lighting on her neck.
Once Brendon was satisfied the bruises would heal without lasting damage, he sits down across from Emma again. “You should head home and rest. Nothing looks concerning, there might be some soreness or stiffness and you can manage that with ibuprofen." Looking at Robby he continues, "You should take the rest of the week, and if it’s still hurting by then you can come up to my office. I'm up on the third floor.” Brendon had never heard his voice this hushed before, he doesn't want to unsettle her will all she has been through today. Brendon looks back at Robby again, his voice regaining its harsh tone, “This leave will be covered by the hospital, and it won’t dip into your sick bank. I’m sure they can find someone to cover for you and the hospital wouldn’t want to be seen as unaccommodating after a work injury.” Robby finally looked away and nodded. Brendon and Robby would sometimes get together after work, but he was more than willing to sacrifice this personal relationship to ensure Emma was advocated for. Finally reassured Emma would be taken care of, Brendon gave her a nod goodbye and walked out, ignoring the other doctors and nurses he based on his way to his office.
Brendon shut the door behind him, and dragged his hand down his face. Jesus, that was weird. Why did he speak that much? Why did he look at her like that? For so long? He felt warm and nervous. What the fuck. Brendon was startled out of his thoughts by a knock at the door. He opened it, eager for a distraction. Johnson poked her head in, “How was your visit to the Pitt?” Brendon shrugged. Johnson nodded along, used to Park’s silence. “Do you need any help with your notes? I can write while you dictate! This analog shit is crazy, I don’t think I’ve written this much since high school.”
Brendon responded with a cool, “No. I’ve got it.”
“Alright, well I’m going to head out then. I hope you're not here too late and miss the fireworks!” Johnson headed out before Brendon had the chance to respond, but he wouldn’t have said anything anyways. All Brendon could think about were Emma’s sweet, brown eyes. The freckles he saw during his exam that dusted her back. He could feel his anger coming back. Although it would have been nice to utilize his residents, Brendon needed the distraction of staying here late tonight. He even hoped he’d get stuck in the firework traffic. The later he gets home means the less time he would have to spend alone in his house with nothing but Emma to think of. He flicks on his desk lamp and reading glasses as the system comes back on. Well at least he still had 3 surgeries and Emma's consult to document even if he was able to type them.
-----
Emma just felt out of it. What a first day at work, she knew it would be crazy on a holiday but could have never anticipated this. McKay helped her collect her stuff from her locker as Emma got changed. Robby had called her an uber on behalf of the hospital; maybe there were perks to being strangled at work. McKay’s voice took her out of her head, “I’ve never heard him talk that much.”
“Dr. Park?” The more talking Emma did, the easier it got. Physically, she was almost back to normal.
“Yeah, he seemed, I don't know, softer today.”
“Well he was super nice, I’m so thankful he took his time to advocate for me too. I know it’s only my first day but I think it will be good to sit at home and rest for a couple days.”
“You definitely need the rest!” McKay reassured, “But I don’t think you get it. He has a bit of a reputation. I don’t participate, but a lot of the staff have dubbed him ‘Park the Shark’. He is normally pretty cold, and always short, he usually sends residents down for consults that don't deal with amputations. And I mean, I think I saw him smile which is beyond weird.”
Emma can’t help but blush. Maybe today wasn’t the worst day in the world. She had thought Park was very kind to take the time to come down and examine her. Emma also notes that despite being a huge- and by huge she means HUGE- man, his hands were so gentle on her neck. Dr. Park had helped her relax for the first time since she was attacked. Ugh. She needs to stop thinking about the surgeon who was just doing his job, it was time to head home.
“Thank you for everything McKay, seriously.”
“Oh please, it's Cassie! You are a good nurse Emma and I’m so sorry this happened to you. Rest up and I’ll see you back here next week.” McKay gives her a sweet smile and waves as Emma walks out.
Emma slides into the back of the uber and feels her face drop. As she settles into the backseat she has time to think about the day. She is glad she managed to find a small studio bedroom, she won’t have to put her mask back up for any roommates. Emma honestly just feels drained. She isn’t scared, and she feels okay knowing she will have to head back to work in a week. She just wants to sit alone and binge New Girl on her laptop. She needs this time to reset and rest. Until that patient had attacked her Emma was having a good day. She felt prepared, and thought she had everything else the Pitt had managed to throw at her. Plus, it was unlikely this would happen again. Emma knows it wasn’t her fault, but it was the first time she experienced violence like that. She would think twice before approaching patients like that for the rest of her time as a nurse.
The uber finally pulls up to Emma's apartment building, cutting off her train of thought. She says a quick thank you and heads inside. Emma lets her thoughts drift as she climbs up the stairs, wondering how she would thank everyone at work today. She could bring Cassie some flowers and a card showing her gratitude, and she had noticed Vivi with a Dunkin cup this morning so maybe a gift card to cover her morning coffee. Dana similarly had a hot coffee from a place down the street. Then her thoughts start drifting to Dr. Park. Park the Shark. What could she get that man?
Well she had a week off, she could experiment with some baking. Who didn’t love some chocolate chip cookies?