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The morning had started out just like any other, and now that Sakura thought about it, maybe that should have been his first red flag.
He gripped his phone tightly in his pocket as he walked towards the school. The device had been useless to him ever since Suo had gone missing—disappearing without a trace like the mysterious bastard he was.
After finding out that his address didn’t exist, and he most likely lied on his school papers, this pit in Sakura’s stomach had only grown.
He hardly got any sleep last night thinking about it.
Suo, the person who volunteered him to be Grade Captain, his Vice Captain, and his friend. Just up and left without saying so much as a goddamn goodbye.
Hell, he’d even take a ‘fuck you’ over the silent treatment.
At least he’d know the reason as to why he left.
Sakura’s heart picked up speed despite his steady gait. It was all just too fresh, too jarring for him to understand—although, since when did Suo do anything that could easily be understood?
The image of the one-eyed boy that flashed in Sakura’s mind only made him grind his teeth harder.
As he crossed the school gate, he tried his best to stomp down all those feelings—it’s always the more familiar ones that fucked with you the most.
Anger.
Resentment.
Hopelessness.
Abandonment.
Loss…
“Arg!” Sakura rustled his hair harshly trying to scrub his brain free of the emotions. He just had to bottle them up for now, and take it out on the first idiot that deserved it.
Like he always does.
By the time he pushed open the front doors of the school, he quickly got a distraction like he had hoped for from his frustration.
Unfortunately, uneasiness settled in its place as all the other first-years loitering throughout the hallway kept sending him weird looks.
His hair stood up on end underneath all of their stares.
They were looking at him like they were surprised he was there, or perhaps worried he was?
“What are you looking at?” He hissed as he marched past a group of students who clocked in on him the second he walked through the doors.
It was unnerving being a spectacle.
And another familiar feeling started bubbling up inside him—one he hasn’t felt since middle school.
“Damn it.” he cursed under his breath as he made his way through the halls. He had to remind himself to slow his pace, and to keep his head up high. He wasn’t going to cower under their looks.
By the time he rounded the corner, he breathed a sigh of relief as the classroom appeared within his line of sight. He was almost there, but his bullshit meter was almost already at capacity.
Sakura’s eyes narrowed when Anzai and Tsugeura appeared to block his path.
“Hey Sakura!” Anzai greeted with a strained smile as he placed himself in Sakura’s way. “Good morning!”
Sakura’s brows furrowed at his classmate's morning greeting. By the way he said it, something told him that this morning was far from ‘good’.
“Yeah, morning—now outta the way,” Sakura tried to push the boy aside, only for the next person to get in his way. “Hey, what's your deal?!”
“Hey! I know! Why don’t we see how Umemiya’s plants are doing—upstairs!?” Tsugeura offered sheepishly, placing his hands on Sakura’s shoulders to physically push him back from the door.
Sakura just blinked at his classmate at the absolutely stupid suggestion.
“I’ll pass…” he drawled, as he glared at the two boys.
Just what are these two clowns hiding?
Sakura tried to power through, but Anzai joined in to physically hold him back.
A vein on Sakura’s forehead threatened to burst. His bullshit meter slowly rose, higher and higher, as he pushed against his classmates. His jaw was beginning to feel sore from all the grinding.
When Sakura said that he would take his pent up anger on the first idiot who crossed his path wrong—he had wished it wasn’t his own classmates; because that meant he had to bottle it up just a little longer.
What kind of asshole beats up their own friends just because they were in a bad mood?
Instead, he sucked it up and pushed his irritation down further into the pit in his stomach continuing to push through.
Eventually, he started making headway, his fingers just grazing the door handle.
“Sakura wait!” Anzai shouted as he struggled. “Why don’t we grab a drink from the vending machine?! I’m buying!”
“Not thirsty.” he ground out as his fingers finally latched onto the handle. Throwing the door open as Tsugeura and Anzai tried to stop him.
Everyone froze as the door rattled and slammed open on its tracks.
“Shit.” Anzai cursed as he let go of Sakura, his limbs hanging limply at his sides. Tsugeura wore a look of defeat as Sakura stood there taking in the scene before him.
Several desks were moved to circle Nirei, slumped in a chair at the front of the room.
Bandages and bloody gauze were thrown about, littering the floor of the classroom with the red stained trash.
Kiryu was sitting in front of Nirei, his hands frozen mid-grab as he seemed to be working on patching Nirei up.
Sakura’s remaining Vice Captain and his pink-haired classmate looked back at him with wide eyes, like they had just been caught. The other classmates, who had been observing the two at the sides, seemed to be speechless as Sakura silently strode into the classroom.
Nirei followed Sakura’s movements, not looking away as he came closer.
Sakura could feel his blood heat up as he took in Nirei’s state. Blood had caked his face and clothes. His left eye had nearly swollen shut with a trail of crimson running down his cheek. Tear trails had carved their way down his bloodied cheek, washing away the red in thin lines.
Sakura dug his nails into his palms as he stood above Nirei. The blonde boy looked away, refusing to meet his eyes in a downward gaze. Nirei shook slightly in his seat, a few stray tears fell onto his dirty pants.
No one else spoke as Sakura could feel his temperature rise but the room cool, his blood becoming insufferably hot.
“Who?” Sakura’s voice sounded like metal scrapping as he clenched his jaw tighter.
Nirei still refused to look up at him, he worked his jaw before finding the courage to speak.
“Sakura, it’s my fault—”
“I didn’t ask whose damn fault it was.” Sakura snapped, unable to keep the heat out of his tone. His chest felt like a forge, and his heart hammered against the molten metal in his veins. “I asked who.”
“Hey, go easy on him, Sakura.” Kiryu tried to mediate the two of them. His green eyes flicked between the two boys.
“Shut up, and stay out of this. I wasn’t talking to you.” Sakura said in a clipped tone. If he was in a better mood, then maybe he would have cared about how Kiryu’s face flashed a brief moment of hurt.
Nirei flinched under his sharp eyes. The whole class seemed to sense the impending explosion, but Sakura just needed to keep it together just a little longer.
“Sakura…” Nirei tried again, his voice small and hoarse. Hearing Nirei croak brought a sharp pang through Sakura’s heart. His bullshit meter slowly teetering higher and higher.
“WHO?! DAMN IT!” Sakura’s mouth shouted faster than his mind could catch up.
Nirei’s head snapped up to finally meet his eyes, and for a moment Sakura wished he never did. The look in Nirei’s red rimmed, swollen eyes sent an unpleasant cold wave down Sakura’s spine. He looked broken in more ways than just physical.
They held eye contact, neither of them looking away. Battling each other on who would give in first, but Sakura wasn’t going to give up. He needed to know who did this, even if Nirei didn’t seem to want to tell him.
Then it hit Sakura like a brick, if Nirei was so hesitant, then that already narrowed down the list significantly.
The sinking feeling in Sakura’s stomach started to churn as his meter hit the top, the imaginary nuts and bolts of the lid threatened to unthread and burst as the pressure built.
The build up made his body vibrate and ache from the pent up force.
It hurt.
He couldn’t take it anymore.
Sakura spoke first.
“It was Suo…wasn’t it.”
Nirei’s eyes widened for a second, until he looked away, clenching his own fists in his lap.
That was enough of an answer for Sakura.
His blood pounded within his veins.
That damn bastard.
Then, as if there wasn’t enough insult to injury. Nirei spoke with a tense tone, still not meeting his eyes, “Suo said goodbye. He’s leaving Furin.”
Something deep inside Sakura finally popped, spilling its toxic contents into his veins.
“Tch.” Sakura turned on his heel and started to march out back into the hallway.
He couldn’t be here right now, he needed a moment to himself.
“Sakura, wait!” Tsugeura reached out to grab the back of Sakura’s Furin jacket before he made it to the door, pulling him back by the collar.
Instead, Sakura let the jacket slide off of his shoulders as he continued to walk away.
The others stared at him in shock—Tsugeura clutched Sakura’s jacket in his hands and his mouth hung open.
“Sakura! Y-you’re jacket…” Tsugeura held it out to the growing space between them, but Sakura paid the stunned boy no mind.
“Fucking keep it.” Sakura bit out, not really fully present at the moment to fully understand what he was saying. The venom in his blood infected his voice and clouded his vision as he kept walking, refusing to look back at the others.
He didn’t need to see their faces to know he fucked up, but at the moment he couldn’t calm himself down enough to care.
He wanted to be alone right now.
No, he needed to be alone right now.
The school bell rang and the hallways were empty as he walked. Sakura took the steps of the stairs two at a time until he got to the first floor.
His mind only seemed to melt in his rage cause he had no specific destination in mind, just one secluded enough for him to catch his breath.
He pushed open the door to a bathroom in the far corner of the school. Locking the deadbolt to the main door behind him.
The restroom was small and far away from the classrooms so people barely used it—making it the perfect place to take a moment to gather himself.
Sakura paced between all the empty stalls, making sure no one else was inside as he spiraled further.
His hands came up to harshly scratch the back of his neck. The cold air only seemed to ignite the fire in his chest the more he breathed.
How fucking dare he…
So this was how Suo chose to say goodbye?
Beating Nirei into a pulp?
How about he grow some goddamn balls and face me himself!? Sakura thought bitterly as his nails dug into his skin. His mind was running away with him.
Out of all the people, Suo knew who was an easy fight—what a goddamn coward.
Maybe this was Suo’s way saying ‘fuck you’ to him, to all of them.
Sakura seethed at the thought.
He bent himself over a sink, turning the faucet on with enough force to make the handles creak under his grip.
He could barely hear the flowing water over his own blood pulsing in his ears.
Suo was just going to leave Furin?
He let out a humorless laugh as his lungs burned.
Leave? Just like that?
Sakura’s hands gripped the porcelain sink as he dipped his head underneath the cold water. Hoping that the chill would seep into his blood, but of course it was never that easy.
He was angry, and angry in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time.
When he picked his head back up, the water dripped off his spilt colored hair—trailing down his face until it soaked into the collar of his white shirt.
Why was he even so surprised?
Everyone leaves him eventually.
He looked at himself in his reflection, his eyes locking onto a pair of dual-colored ones.
Apparently, being friends with someone didn’t mean shit.
He was lied too.
He was promised that things would be different.
He thought that he was different.
All of that, just to be betrayed by his own friend.
Sakura’s fist sailed into the mirror. His knuckle splintered the glass into jagged shards as the mirror gave into the force. The violent crash filled his ears as his hand and wrist stung as the glass fell into the running sink.
He watched as the blood seeped out of the fresh cuts, dripping into the white porcelain.
The image of Nirei’s bloodied face, and hollow eyes flashed in his mind, and his vision went red.
Static filled his ears as his vision blacked out.
His body moved on pure instinct and instinct alone. Sakura felt drunk on the rage as he swung violently.
Tiles on the walls shattered, turning into small chips of ceramic with every impact.
The metal stall walls buckled and crumpled from the force.
Any remaining mirrors were shattered into cracked and crumbling porcelain.
Cold water started to seep into Sakura’s shoes as a broken faucet drenched the floor.
Time seemed irrelevant.
He didn’t know how long he was in there, but he was slowly running out of things to destroy, but he still craved more.
The door wiggled and shook on its hinges, the lock rattling with every attempt to open, but nothing in the moment seemed to fully register.
The world came back to him in glimpses, like a slide show of destruction.
His blood boiled and pounded making everything else fade into the background. Sakura’s vision was useless, he could only feel the reverberations of his actions through his bones.
Every sting, every crunch seemed intoxicating to his drunk mind. Every punch left behind a hole inside of him that craved to be filled with torn metal and shattered glass.
Sakura didn’t even hear it when the door slammed open with a bang. His fist sailed to strike whatever came next regardless.
Instead of his knuckles hitting something hard, they landed in something soft, but strong. Whatever it was grabbed his fist stopping it mid-punch and held it tightly.
His body felt how it failed to get its next fill, his blood missing the satisfying crunch of tile or glass. He clenched his teeth as he threw his other fist in the same direction, only for both of his hands to become trapped.
Words might, or might not have been said to him—but Sakura didn’t care enough at the moment to listen to anything other than his instincts.
God, when was the last time he’d blacked out like this?
It felt both good and sickening at the same time, like he was a slave to his own emotions.
He thrashed trying to break free, but before he knew it, his arms were wrapped around himself like a tight hug. He could feel someone’s presence behind him holding him.
“Get the hell off me!” he screamed into the room, uncaring of how he sounded or for anything other than fueling his rampage. “Get off!”
He was still confined in a strong grip while the rage craved for more, and he wasn’t going to give up that easily. He whipped his head backwards, the back of his head struck something hard; someone cursed while he continued to thrash in whoever’s hold he was trapped in, but without the use of his arms he was quickly losing steam.
Whoever was behind him started to slowly bend forward at the waist, and started sinking down, pushing Sakura to the ground with their chest while still holding on to his arms.
Using their height to their advantage, soon Sakura was forced to his knees under their weight. His pant legs were soaked quickly by the cold water flooding the floor.
“Let go! Do you wanna fight?!” With nothing left to do with his body, his mind used his voice to continue holding on to its meltdown—almost like his mouth was speaking without him. “You bitch! Let me go!”
He yelled, kicked, and screamed—but it did nothing to help his situation. Somewhere in the back of his consciousness, he realized that the person was trying to talk through his yelling, but he couldn’t stop himself.
The grip only tightened the longer it went on. The feeling of powerlessness flooded through him, finally cooling the rage.
“Please. Just let me go…” Sakura’s muscles began to shake as he got whiplash from how fast the heat from his anger left him, leaving behind something hollow and cold. As if someone had flipped a switch in his mind, the static started to ease.
“Breathe…just breathe.” he could feel the vibrations from a deep voice vibrate through his back. Like a mantra, they repeated those words over and over again as the fight slowly bleed out of Sakura.
Sakura’s lungs burned as he tried to slow down his breathing, he hadn’t realized how out of breath he was until now. His throat was raw, and his eyes stung with unshed tears.
Sakura took a shuttering breath in. His lungs seemed to have forgotten how to breathe properly. He grit his teeth in frustration, letting out a small whine.
“It’s fine, you’re okay.” the deep voice spoke out again trying to draw Sakura out a bit more. “Try again.”
The cold from the water seemed to seep into his bones, he shook uselessly with his arms still restrained in the tight hug. Regardless, he sucked in another breath, letting the remaining anger melt away.
“That’s it,” the voice spoke again. It sounded familiar to Sakura, but he was too preoccupied with steadying his breath to really focus on who. Although, he could already feel the embarrassment start to warm his cheeks. “Keep going.”
Sakura took another deep breath as the remaining fog seemed to lift. His muscles ached and his knuckles and hands stung. He opened his eyes to see his knees were in a puddle of murky water. The sound of running water filled his ears as the world came back to him.
Looking down he could see someone's arms were wrapped around him while they both were kneeling in the center of the bathroom—if it can even be called that any more.
The walls that were once decorated with neatly lined tiles were dented and had holes so deep they exposed the studs and plumbing behind them. All of the mirrors were shattered and had crashed to the ground.
The stalls looked like they were shredded, dented and barely standing. Some of the stall doors were ripped off the hinges and were laying uselessly on the ground.
Sakura’s mind froze when he finally figured out the source of the puddle, one of the sinks had been completely ripped off the wall, the water from the faucet ran straight to the ground creating the pool he was in now.
His eyes widened as he took in the damage around him.
Did he really do all this?
“Sakura? You back with me?”
Sakura’s eyes widened further as it finally clicked who was behind him. Shame seeped into his cold bones as Hiragi still held on to him in a firm grip.
“I-I…” Sakura started but stopped, biting hard on his tongue. God, this probably had to be the most embarrassing thing he’d ever done. How could he be this stupid?
He mentally prepared himself for the verbal lashing he was bound to get from the Heavenly King. Sakura thought that the only person who would’ve been worse in this situation was Umemiya himself, but he knew he would find out about this too.
Slowly, Hiragi released his hands and Sakura let them fall limply at his sides. His fingertips sinking into the cold puddle beside him. Red dripped off his knuckles and down his fingers, mixing into the murky water by his knees.
Hiragi placed his hand on his shoulders and gave it a light squeeze.
“Kaji, grab the first-aid kit and meet us upstairs.”
Sakura’s head shot up to see that they weren’t alone.
Kaji stood in the doorway with wide eyes. His headphones were draped around his neck crooked and the lollipop was hanging loosely from his lips, and a ring with several keys was clutched tightly in his hands.
The second-year seemed to freeze as their eyes locked onto each other, until finally he broke away, Sakura could hear his rushed steps echo down the hallway as he disappeared from the doorway.
The embarrassment only seemed to worsen ten-fold as he sat there, Hiragi was still holding onto his shoulder as the adrenaline finally subsided.
Sakura opened and closed his mouth as he slowly turned to look like Hiragi. The upperclassmen looked at him with an unreadable look on his face.
Suddenly, Sakura’s mouth felt completely dry.
“Hiragi, I—”
“Come on, we aren’t talking here.”
The puddle splashed and rippled as the upperclassmen slowly got up, reaching out his hand.
Hesitantly, Sakura put his hand within Hiragi’s and was heaved up to his feet.
On wobbly legs, Sakura followed behind Hiragi, trailing behind his Senior with his head down. Neither of them talked as they trekked their way through the school. Only the sound of their soggy shoes squeaking against the polished tiles filled the silence.
Thankfully, the hallways were still empty by the time they made their way to the rooftop door. He must’ve wanted him to explain himself to Umemiya too afterall. Sakura’s head lowered further, already imagining the upperclassmens’ disappointed faces.
Shame still hung to him like his damp clothes as Hiragi pushed open the door to the roof. Kaji was waiting for them by the picnic table, a first-aid kit already open.
Sakura looked around, and the roof seemed quieter than normal.
“Where’s Umemiya?” he asked while searching for the white-haired leader.
“He’s not here right now.” Hiragi said simply, not bothering to turn back to Sakura as he made his way to the table. “Thanks Kaji.” he said as he nodded towards the second year.
“Why are we here then?” Sakura asked, confused about what was happening. Wasn’t Hiragi going to yell at him? Tell him how disappointed he was in front of Umemiya, Tsubaki—whoever was there to bear witness to his failure.
Hiragi's voice carried across the wind like the steady breeze, “When we’re talkin’ about stuff like this…it’s better to do it somewhere high up and open.”
Sakura’s breath caught in his throat, his feet seemed glued in place as he took in Hiragi’s words.
Kaji’s eyes just flicked back and forth between the two of them, Sakura froze under his gaze. Hiragi took a seat as Kaji started walking towards him, heading towards the door back into the school.
Sakura watched wordlessly as Kaji paused in front of him, looking him up and down before silently pressing a bottle of coffee into his bloody hands before leaving.
Sakura furrowed his brow as the second year threw him a complex look before closing the door behind him. The coffee was fresh from the vending machine, still cold and beginning to condensate between his fingers.
“C’mon, sit down. Let’s get those hands patched up.” Hiragi called from the table, already twisting the cap off of a bottle of rubbing alcohol.
Sakura looked at the bottle then to the door one more time before slowly approaching the Tamon team leader.
Did Hiragi even know about what’s been happening?
About how the Tamon first-year leadership was slowly crumbling.
How Sakura had let all this happen…
Hiragi looked at him, and his normally piercing gaze was soft as Sakura sat beside him. The plastic of the coffee bottle creaked under his harsh grip.
“Hands.” Hiragi urged when Sakura just sat there.
Sakura slowly placed the drink on the picnic table, and Hiragi had a small smile as he looked at the bottle. Sakura tilted his head a little at the small smirk his senior had.
Both of his hands were torn up from his melt-down. Hiragi didn’t comment on that though as he wordlessly started to dab antiseptic on the cuts with practiced ease.
He worked in silence, focusing on cleaning the wounds from debris and wiping away the blood.
Then, he slowly wrapped up his hands in a layer of gauze and bandages to seal up his handy work with a metaphorical bow.
Hiragi looked back up at him, eyes searching his. Sakura felt a pang of guilt shoot through his heart when he saw a deep bruise start to form on Hiragi’s jaw, the ache in the back of his head seemed to throb more just from looking at it.
Sakura swallowed thickly as Hiragi straightened a bit.
“Don’t worry about it kid.” he said, popping his neck a bit to ease his stiffness. “Kaji’s put me through worse than that. I know how to take a hit.”
Sakura’s eyes widened at Hiragi’s words. The guilt started to ease just a little as Hiragi seemed to act like it was any normal day—actually, it seemed like he was calmer than a normal day.
“I’m sorry…” Despite what Hiragi had said, Sakura couldn’t let himself off the hook as easily as his upperclassmen. The breeze seemed to blow right through him as he shivered, his bare arms prickling from the cold.
Hiragi looked back at him and popped a few Gas-kun 10 into his mouth. “You don’t gotta apologize to me,” Hiragi reached across the table to grab something at the other end. “You should save it for when you see them again.”
Sakura sucked in a breath as Hiragi lifted up his Furin jacket sitting on the seat across from them and handed it to him. Sakura’s eyes softened as he took the dark fabric into his hands, running his thumb over the Furin emblem on the embroidered collar.
“They were really worried, you know.”
Slowly he slipped the jacket back on, savoring the warmth the long sleeves seemed to offer so easily. Already, he felt protected and less exposed—less raw.
“Now,” Hiragi spoke with an even tone as he looked Sakura in the eyes. “I heard a little bit already—”
The upperclassmen placed his elbow on the table as he leaned towards Sakura, giving him his full undivided attention.
“But why don’t you fill me in on what’s been going on…”