Work Text:
The First Everything
John Watson would always remember the first major disagreement he had with Sherlock Holmes and where it led.
It was April 1881, and they had been living together for four months. They had settled into each other’s habits. Watson had recovered his health, and Sherlock had slightly increased his consulting business with Watson increasingly joining him.
It happened the night Watson went to his club and came across a fellow comrade, Arthur Perkins, from the Afghan war. Memories and too many drinks were shared so that instead of returning to Baker Street he crashed at Perkin’s place as it was just across the street from the club. And he was in no condition to travel back to Baker Street.
Perkin’s wife had fixed breakfast for them the next morning, so it was close to noon when Watson returned home.
When he entered 221B Mrs. Hudson greeted him with relief.
“Oh, thank heavens!” she said “Mr. Holmes has been so worried about you. He has gone out several times looking for you.”
“What?” Watson asked, “Why on earth would he do that?”
Mrs. Hudson eyed him closely.
“He imagined something bad happened to you.”
“Is he home?”
“No, he has been gone an hour.”
“He knew I was at my club last night.”
“He went there but no one would or could give him any information.”
Just then the door opened and Holmes, looking frantic, entered. He was out of breath and the hand holding his hat was unsteady. When he saw Watson there was a sigh of relief and then a cold look came over his face.
“Where the hell have you been?” he asked crossly.
Watson, taken aback by the anger, answered in kind.
“Since when am I accountable to you?”
“Since we began living together or do you not realize that comes with mutual responsibility.”
“I signed a lease to live with a roommate not a parent.”
“Fine, then we will just be strangers. Is that how you want it?”
“No, I mean, we just be adults about things.”
“Are you calling me childish for worrying about a friend?”
“Gentlemen” Mrs. Hudson said “your voices are raising. Let me make some tea why you pause the conversation and settle down.”
Holmes stormed pass Watson into the sitting room. Watson slowly followed him in. Holmes was standing by the fireplace.
“You might have sent word” he said.
“I did not think I would have to.”
“That’s the problem you did not think.”
“We are supposed to be cooling down.”
Watson walked over to Holmes.
“You have sometimes been out for days when on a case” he said, “And I have never reproached you for that.”
Holmes gave an incredulous laugh shaking his head.
“That is totally different” Holmes replied “I tell you I may be gone days. You do not have a job that works in that way.”
“Actually, you just say I am not sure when I will be back”
“Right, that should keep you from worry, see the difference?”
“Not really”
“Then that is your ignorance.”
“I have nothing more to say to you” Watson said and he left the room.
Holmes looked after him and then back into the fire.
Mrs. Hudson entered with the tea.
“I had hoped for calmer conversation” she said as she set down the tray and quietly left.
Later that night Watson lay in bed thinking about the fight. Why had it escalated? Was he really in the wrong? He and Holmes had avoided each other for the rest of the evening. Nothing felt right and he did not want to leave it like this.
I must go and apologize, he thought as he got up and headed for the stairs. When he got to the landing, he saw Holmes coming up towards him and stopped when their eyes locked.
“Holmes, wait” Watson said “I am coming to you.”
Holmes stood still with his hand on the banister. Then he nodded his head.
Watson silently followed Holmes into his room. He stood in the center of the room watching Holmes in the doorway.
They held a gaze for a moment then Holmes quietly shut his door.
They both started to speak at the same time. Watson held up his hand.
“Let me” he said “I was inconsiderate of my roommate and landlady. I should have sent a note.”
He paused.
“And I am sorry.”
Holmes let out a breath.
“And I am sorry for not being calmer about it and saying improper things.”
They stood in silence again and looked at each other.
Watson became aware that their gaze was holding longer than usual.
The thought of acting overcame him.
He closed the distance and Holmes did not step back or turn away.
Watson leaned in and softly brushed their lips together.
Holmes remained still until he felt Watson pulling back.
He then grabbed his sleeves and leaned into him returning the kiss.
Watson noticed that Holmes was trembling.
“You not done this before?” He asked
Holmes shook his head.
“Others have tried, but I would not let them” he replied.
“Then this will have some weight” he said.
“It will not be insignificant” Holmes replied then pulled back.
His retreat surprised Watson.
“So be sure before we start this, that having me in your life is something you really want.”
“I was sure the moment I met you.”
It was Holmes who cut the distance this time, but his kiss was not light it was full of passion, of finally being loved despite all his faults, of finally being understood, of finally being seen and accepted.
When they pulled apart it was Watson who was unsteady.
“This is more than I expected” he said as he pushed Holmes down on the bed.
Holmes responded to every touch with such intensity that Watson was forced to cover his mouth.
“We have to be quiet” he said, “can you do that?”
Holmes breathless, could only nod.
Holmes would always remember that the first time he lost control, it was in utter silence.
The next morning, sitting at the breakfast table, they would meet each other’s eye, smile and look away.
“We are being silly” Holmes said.
“It’s natural” Watson replied “Get used to it.”
“It is natural” Holmes said.
And they held each other’s gaze.