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Let's Have an Easter Egg Hunt!

Summary:

Baek Saheon takes the opportunity to rid himself of Kim Soleum once and for all.

Notes:

lmao happy easter

Work Text:

'Why is it always that bastard,' Baek Saheon wonders.

Always Kim Soleum assigned to the Darknesses with the biggest potential perks. Always Kim Soleum with first entry and the highest chance of acquiring bonus items. Always Kim fucking Soleum popping up out of nowhere with something in his hands that ten other agents would kill to have for themselves.

"Bah, bah, bah."

"Shut up," says Baek Saheon. It's always Kim Soleum ruining his laid out plans and getting in his way.

What is he even supposed to do with this bullshittery? How is he going to explain to Kang Yihak what happened? When she had explicitly told them not to touch the golden eggs while she went to hunt down the giant pink rabbit that had been menacing them throughout the entirety of this dumb hedge maze they were stuck in.

No, Baek Saheon is not going to tell her that he was the one who didn't want to wait until she was done. While no one should rightfully be expected to wait to split the spoils in a Darkness, he's not stupid enough to say so to someone who can kill him with a finger, no questions asked. Hell, all she'd have to do is leave him for dead in a death maze, since the hedges somehow nullify the effect of all items.

"Buhh?"

"I said shut up."

He wants nothing to do with the mess Kim Soleum had gotten himself into when he'd grappled a golden egg away from Baek Saheon. He didn't know it was possible, but Kim Soleum manages to look menacing even as a toddler in an egg costume. It must be Kim Soleum's inherent psychopathy. Yeah, Saheon isn't surprised that his homicidal aura showed itself early.

Actually… this is promising. If the effect of touching the eggs briefly before the rabbit is defeated reverts someone back to childhood, maybe a longer touch, or even cracking one open, will turn them into an egg themselves. It makes sense if all of the beautifully painted eggs around them were other agents or civilians caught in the Darkness once. No one has ever come back alive after finding the egg cache, or so their records say.

So maybe, if Baek Saheon is very, very careful… He could rid himself of a significant annoyance right here, right now. And all he'd have to do is not let his skin touch the surface of an egg.

"Boo?" Kim Soleum tilts his head, no doubt trying to use his innocent appeal to prolong his end at Baek Saheon's hand.

Too bad Baek Saheon is immune. He'd always found babies disgusting.

"Don't worry, Sol-ah," he smiles. "This will be over soon."

He wraps his jacket around his hand and turns to face the wicker basket filled with golden eggs.

Behind him, Kim Soleum narrows his eyes, getting on all fours with his diapered bottom up high, before levering himself carefully onto two chubby legs.


Kang Yihak turns a corner, wiping away the blood streaked over one cheek. But instead of the two suited colleagues she left behind, she finds two toddlers grappling over the plush grass.

The one with the eyepatch is crying, even as he tries his best to kill the other one with pudgy fists.

"…What the fuck is this?"