Chapter Text
It's 27th December evening. Monty comes back from work, and slops his bag to the floor before heading to the calming room.
Roland, Kevin, and Edgar are in the room, chilling with small throw pillows strewn about. Monty slinks next to them and Kevin asks how his work day went. Monty replies non-committally that it was fine, and the boys continue chilling in silence. It's very much their norm and all of them understand that Monty needs the decompression time after work.
After a while of chilling, Monty mentions that he's going to rest. This perks the other boys' curiosities; rest? Monty never went to rest without dinner first. Roland clarifies if Monty's sure he doesn't want dinner to which Monty nods, wishes them good night, and heads to his room. The other boys are a little concerned but they also know what date it is.
"Perhaps Monty would heat up dinner later!", Roland assures and heads into the kitchen to place a cover over Monty's share of food.
Monty heads into the shower and turns the water on gentler than he normally would; it feels too painful in addition to the ache in his heart that's been going on for the whole day, the kind that hurts him enough to turn down a home-cooked meal. He quickly loses track of what he was supposed to do even if it's the same thing in the same way every day; he relates to his students in that way.
But he's learnt now to arrange his soap bottles from left to right in the order he uses them, and it helps for days like this to take some static off his brain. Back at school, he still remembered the times when he didn't know about accommodating himself like this. And that the most minute of things would become the things that left him snapping at his friends and crying for ages.
It makes him smile a little to remember how much Mr Kelly had helped him with all this; it was similar to how his parents and grandma helped him when he was younger. But it doesn't take much for his heart to sink again.
‘How dare you accept help when you ruined everything.’
He rushes to get the shower done, get into new clothes, and flop onto bed with his childhood blanket balled up to his chest. A knock and a creak of his door almost makes him snap but he reins himself in knowing it's Edgar.
Edgar tells him that he made one of Grandma Fifi's recipes for dinner, seeing how down he was the past few days, but apologizes in hindsight that maybe that wasn't the best thing to do. Monty tells him he still appreciates the sentiment, but he really isn't hungry. Edgar looks worried and Monty lies to assure him that he'll heat the food up later when he's hungry. Edgar acknowledges, hoping it's not a lie, and tells Monty that he's always welcome to his room and embroider while he sorts his bead collection.
Monty smiles at the offer but ultimately declines, saying that he needs some time alone. Edgar reminds him that he can always join any of them outside if he wants to and leaves him be.
The door closes. The ache throbs. Monty sinks under the covers as he thinks of his grandma. It makes him doubt whether she truly forgives him (even though he's heard so many times over the years that she does) and the guilt eats at him. Swarms him.
It quickly overwhelms him, pushing him to tears. But he holds back from whimpering too loudly in case the other boys hear it.
Kevin walks past his room in that moment and hears, contemplating if he should open the door. But he ultimately decides not to, that maybe Monty needs his space.