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There weren’t many things that Green Lantern Sojourner Mullein longed for.
Sure, she still wanted to buy some new yuri manga coming out this year; she would like to finish the numerous anime and live action shows that were stacked up in her Netflix queue; kick her younger brother’s ass for selling one of her original Action Comics titles behind her back; trying to use her ring to find a way to force all the billionaires off the planet and end global poverty; trying to find a way to jailbreak her ring to do the former; force her sister to finish the 2010 The Last Airbender movie as revenge for making Jo watch the live action Dragon Ball Z movie…
Okay, so there was a lot she longed for.
But when it came to interpersonal relationships, she was more or less, doing well. Not perfect, but Jo liked to think she’d gotten better as she grew older and stopped running away from her fuckups. She went to therapy, took her meds, checked in on her family members, socialized with her friends when she wasn’t too busy trying not to get killed by aliens or supervillains, and was doing better not getting burnt out by the superhero life. Or, was starting to do so. That was why she submitted time off to the Corps and now had the next week and a half off.
Fortunately, she wouldn’t be spending those vacation days alone. Drolta Tzuentes lied on her side in their shared bed, encased within their 860 square feet apartment. Her pink dyed natural hair was stuffed in her bonnet and one of her arms was wrapped around Sojourner’s chest. Jo’s own arm was wrapped around her girlfriend’s apple figure, admiring her dark skin hidden beneath Drolta’s adorable purple pajamas decorated with white vampire teeth patterns.
For as long as Sojourner could remember, Drolta had always been a fanatic for the occult, particularly vampire mythologies from all over the world. Her nerdiness over the creatures was one of the many feats that attracted Jo to her, along with her unapologetic confidence, fierceness, and playfulness.
It was also just fucking adorable.
Birds chirped from outside to signal the rising sun, its rays peeking through the blinds of their bedroom window and shining on their bed to accentuate Drolta’s beauty. Jo found Drolta’s morning face to be unfairly cute and stunning. She thought the same with Drolta’s awake face, her afternoon face, her evening face, her night facing, her everything.
Sometimes, Jo couldn’t resist just watching her sleep, letting the affection for the woman swell in her chest at the sight of Drolta in peaceful slumber.
Unfortunately, today was not one of those mornings.
For one thing, Drolta was already awake, as evident by her repeatedly switching between opening and closing her pink eyes as Jo gently rubbed her back. Aside from her arm over Jo’s chest, Drolta was curled in on herself, as if trying to make the rest of her body into a ball. She wasn’t trying to pull herself closer to Jo as she usually did when the two woke around the same time, wanting to curl herself into Jo’s embrace due to claiming that the hero’s body “was like a galactic furnace.” Jo would jokingly retort that it was because Drolta was a vampire and thus needed constant warmth, to which Drolta would only teasingly reply with, “I wish.”
It wasn’t just Drolta’s body language. Drolta’s expression was soured with regret, as if she was sad to wake up to another day.
That expression was all too familiar to Sojourner.
“Good morning,” she greeted warmly.
Jo frowned when Drolta retracted her arm back from Jo’s chest and folded it beneath herself.
“Morning.” Drolta replied in a hoarse tone.
“Did you sleep well?”
Drolta hummed thoughtfully, eyes not meeting Jo’s. “I slept.”
“Are you okay?”
“I-I’m fine. Just…think I need to sleep in for a bit. I’d like to allow my body to catch up with my mind.”
Jo bit back a concerned retort, not wanting to jump to conclusions. “Hmm. Skipping breakfast, then?”
“Most likely, yes.”
Jo stepped out of bed and threw the rest of the blanket covers over Drolta. She bent down and kissed Drolta’s forehead. “Sounds good to me. Did you still want us to go over everything in the closet?
“Yes…that should be fine.”
“Aight. I’ll be in the kitchen cooking.”
Drolta replied with a soft grunt.
Jo brushed her teeth, changed into her gym fit and moved to the living room, leaving the bedroom door ajar for only a few inches. Jo played Janelle Monae’s Dirty Computer record on vinyl, keeping the volume to an adequately minimal level so that it wouldn’t disturb Drolta but so that she could still enjoy it. With her only audience members in the living room being her pet cat Krypto, and Drolta’s rottweiler Garfield, Jo did some stretching before moving to cardio. Normally, she’d go out for a jog, but considering how Drolta was behaving, she’d feel better staying in their apartment with her. Just in case.
After sets of pushups, pull-ups, planks, and dumbbell curls, Jo turned the music down a bit more and took a shower. For clothes, she opted for a simple pair of black boy shorts, a red Neon Genesis Evangelion t-shirt that featured Asuka, and her own 4c hair styled into a loose, updo bun.
Jo cooked dishes of omelets with bacon strips, toast, and homemade orange juice, making enough so that both herself and Drolta could have two servings each. She packed away the leftovers into food containers and distributed them into the fridge. Jo groaned at the mess she made in the kitchen. She could hear her dad’s scolding tone in her head, fed up and expressing disappointment for needing to remind his child to clean up after herself.
Still, Sojourner didn’t want to clean before Drolta had a bite to eat herself. She caught up on her Black fantasy novel while keeping YouTube playing on TV in the background, drifting between the riveting story and videos of people’s pets reacting to car washes and Halloween costumes.
When 1pm rolled around, Jo returned to their bedroom and knocked on the side of the doorway to catch Drolta’s attention.
“Pink? It’s already past noon. You want anything for lunch?”
No response.
Jo frowned, worry creasing her face. She cautiously rushed over to the bed and sat down on the side, careful not to accidentally place herself onto Drolta. Her worry increased tenfold when she saw Drolta was in fact awake, but her expression was despondent and stoic. Her pink eyes were still devoid of their usual, beautiful gleam. Rather, they were dulled and staring off into the distance at nothing.
Sojourner gently placed the back of her hand against Drolta’s forehead. She sighed with relief. No fever. She wasn’t sick. That meant only one other thing.
“One of them days, huh?” Jo asked.
A moment of silence lingered between them before Drolta replied, “…Yes.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
“…No. Not right now.”
“…Okay. Well, I’m going to grab your meds. You still need to take them regardless, alright?”
Jo didn’t wait for a response as she moved to their bathroom. Grabbing one of the 3 bottles of pills that Drolta owned from the cabinet, she returned with the pill and a glass of water. Fortunately, Drolta listened to Jo’s request to sit up in bed and take the pill and drown it down with the water.
Jo placed the glass of water on the nightstand as Drolta returned to lying down in bed.
“Are you thinking of hurting yourself right now?” Jo asked.
Drolta hesitated. “…I was earlier in the morning but couldn’t be bothered to commit to it. I’m not thinking about it now.”
Jo nodded. “Okay, good. You said your last session with Dr. Fumalaye was good, right?”
“Yes. It was fine. It was just…”
“Just what?”
Drolta shook her head, tears brimming in eyes. “I-I don’t know…”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Jo reassured, using her thumb to gently wipe Drolta’s tears. “You don’t have to talk about it now. We’ll talk when you’re comfortable. Do you want something to eat?”
“I’m not very hungry…”
“Okay, well, you have to get something in your stomach today, at some point. Is there anything you want to do? TV? Play chess? How about UNO? I still owe you some payback for that time you cheated 3 rounds in a row.”
“I’d prefer to remain in bed…”
“Okay. I’ll do some housekeeping while you rest. Your phone is with you, so call or text me if you need anything. How’s that sound?”
“That’s fine. Thank you.”
Jo planted a kiss on Drolta’s forehead before exiting the bedroom, making sure to leave the door about halfway open.
Reuniting with the messy kitchen, Jo decided to start sorting that out. She used her ring to materialize three thin energy constructs in the shapes of arms and hands: one that wiped down the counters, one that opened the dishwasher, and a third that placed all the dirty dishes inside. After wiping, the first construct hand then switched the dishwasher to the desired settings, satisfied as it began its cycle.
She moved on to dusting the kitchen floor before mopping it. Jo would’ve used her ring for that too, but it didn’t make practical sense to keep using up her ring battery over basic menial tasks. Early in their relationship, Drolta also pointed out that it wasn’t very fair for her to not have many cleaning supplies to use when Jo was away while Drolta was at home just because the former relied so much on her ring and thus had gone a long while without buying said supplies.
Throughout the day of cleaning and rearranging furniture, Jo checked in on Drolta, most of the time finding her girlfriend not responding because she was fast asleep. Jo took Garfield out for a walk, then fed him and Krypto. She washed their shared bathroom and the extra guest bathroom in the hallway, enduring the disgusting labor of removing discarded balls of hair that had built up for the past few weeks in the drain strainer. Jo thought about vacuuming the living room, but she didn’t want to disturb Drolta’s sleep, so she opted to postpone it for tomorrow or the next weekend, depending on how Drolta would be feeling.
Once the worst chores were done, Jo giddily moved on to reorganizing her novels, comics, and manga. Drolta’s absence was disappointing, as the two planned to reorganize their merch and collections together, but it wasn’t the end of the world. Drolta’s health came first, and it didn’t mean Jo couldn’t sneak some changes here and there.
Rummaging through her and Drolta’s closet, she found cosplay costumes that she hadn’t worn in a few years. There wasn’t much time to cosplay and attend conventions when one was out on galactic adventures, stopping alien civilizations from sinking into civil wars or fighting homicidal aliens who fall from the sky.
Going through her catalogues, Jo found a few novel and manga titles that she didn’t care much about anymore. She decided to donate them to the local library. There were a few classic comic titles she’d held on to that were only growing in value the last time she checked on sellmycomicbooks.com. Huh. She commanded her ring to set a reminder for the next auction on Comic Connect.
By the time Jo was done, it was already 4:30pm. She returned to the bedroom for the sixth time, carrying a tray of soup and wheat crackers that she knew Drolta loved. Sojourner sat down on the bed next to Drolta, holding the tray in her lap. Drolta’s eyes were closed but Sojourner knew she wasn’t sleeping.
“Hey, Pink. I brought you some grub.”
Drolta grunted.
“You have to eat something.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Drolta…”
Drolta’s eyes shone with tears and she shook her head, sniffling. “Please…I’m not hungry…”
Jo’s chest constricted with pain. She placed the tray on the nightstand. “Drolta, can you please tell me what’s wrong? Is it something I said? Something I did last time we were together?”
“No.”
“Did something happen at work? Are Erzsebet or Lex bothering you again?”
“No.”
“Is it dysphoria?”
“No.”
“Then what’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Drolta said more forcefully this time, frustration leaking through her voice.
Jo blinked and felt her eye twitch, letting her aggravation take the best of her. “How the hell do you expect me to help if you won’t tell me what’s going on? I can’t read your mind.”
“I don’t know!” Drolta snapped with a broken sob, tears running down her cheeks this time. “I don’t fucking know, okay? I just fucking hate myself right now! I hate being me. And it’s making me hate living.”
Drolta jolted up in bed and tucked her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs and burying her head at the top of her knees. “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, Idon’tknowIdon’tknowIdon’tknowIdon-”
“Hey, hey, hey!” Jo rushed to Drolta’s side, placing her hands on her shoulders. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m right here.”
“It’s not okay.” Drolta exclaimed, head still buried. “I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me…”
“Nothing is wrong with you, Pink.” Jo retorted.
Drolta didn’t respond this time, just continued to sob.
“Do you want a hug?” Sojourner asked.
Drolta nodded. Without hesitation, Jo wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and carefully guided her head to her chest. Drolta sobbed against Sojourner’s shirt, muffling her wails into it. Jo cooed affirmations in Drolta’s ear as she rubbed circles in her back, rocking Drolta back and forth. She pushed the guilt down in favor of prioritizing Drolta’s comfort.
Sojourner guessed that Drolta cried like that for about ten minutes, but she didn’t care. She’d be content to stay like that for ten more minutes or ten hours. For as long as Drolta needed.
As Drolta’s cries died down and her body shook from heaving, Jo planted a soft kiss on the crown of her head. “I’m so sorry for being an asshole and snapping at you earlier. That was fucked up of me.”
Drolta let out a dry, humorless chuckle. “It was, but it’s my fault. I’m not the easiest to deal with when I’m in one of my moods.”
“Your depression isn’t just a mood.”
“Regardless, you were trying to help. No, you are helping. I just…I hate burdening you. I hate the way my brain works. It’s like it knows I’m being held back by depression but it still lets it happen anyway, and I hate being that damn weak.”
“Hey.” Jo lifted Drolta’s chin up so that their eyes met. Drolta’s breath hitched when she found herself staring into Sojourner’s steeled, brown gaze. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re depressed. You hate yourself sometimes. And you get consumed by that. You know I have similar issues. That doesn’t make you a bad person. No one can be strong 100% of the time. It’s not possible, and fuck anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. There’s nothing wrong with admitting to yourself that it’s hard to get back up.”
“Jo…”
“Besides, so what if you are weak? Who the hell says that makes you less than? You don’t owe anyone constant strength. That shit is exhausting. That shit can kill us. Let yourself be weak and vulnerable for a change. That’s what we agreed to when we decided to do this, isn’t it?”
Drolta’s frown deepened. “You make it sound so easy.”
“But you know that I know it isn’t.”
Drolta couldn’t deny that. For as long as she could remember, she’d always seen Jo as stronger willed and more perseverant than her. She thought it when they were friends in high school, when they exchanged letters and AOL emails during college, and now as romantic partners. It was one of many traits that made Drolta admire Sojourner Mullein, what drew her to the hero in the first place.
But it took spending more time together for Drolta to truly understand Jo’s mentality. The woman holding her always had a fire in her, one that burned to help others, to tip the scales of injustice back in the favor of the oppressed. And she also watched how that broke Jo. How her mistakes drew her to alcohol and self-neglect and her own depression.
Yet, despite all of that, Jo always managed to not just get back up again, but to keep trying. Even if she was wrong or made more mistakes. She kept moving.
It was so unlike Drolta.
Laying back against the pillows so that they were parallel to each other, Jo studied Drolta’s face, concern swimming in her eyes. “What are you thinking?”
“How different we are. You make mistakes, you get hurt. Hell, you might sometimes hurt someone else. But you always get back up and keep going. Me? I run away. I throw a tantrum. I give up.”
“That’s not completely true.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Pink, did you give up when Erzebet and Lex Luthor kept passing you over for a promotion or raise?”
“No…”
“Did you give up getting your bachelor’s when the greedy fucks at Nocturne University fucked over your financial aid?”
“No.”
“Did you give up when your insurance tried denying coverage of your estrogen pills?”
“Hell no.”
Jo’s lips quirked up into a sly smile. “Exactly. You didn’t throw your hands up and stop. You kept going at what you wanted. At what you were owed. You complained. You vented. You cried. All of that was valid. But you kept pursuing them. So, please, don’t be so damn shitty to my girlfriend and give her more credit. Drolta is who she is because she’s Drolta, not because she’s not like me or anyone else.”
Drolta buried her face back in Jo’s chest and sobbed, embracing Jo’s honest observations of her. She lifted her face up. “But I didn’t do it alone.”
Jo grinned. “See? And she’s modest too.”
Drolta playfully swatted Jo’s shoulder, feeling her mood rise at Jo’s laughter. “Oh, shut up! I’m being serious.”
“So am I!”
Drolta chuckled. “In all seriousness, JoJo, thank you.”
Jo’s grin fell. “You know you shouldn’t thank me for behaving as your girlfriend. This is a given.”
“Not just that. For holding me accountable. For not being afraid of calling me in and making me realize how unhealthy my self-flagellation is. Some partners wouldn’t do that. I know it’s something I need to combat, even with how tough it can be.”
“You’ve done the same for me. We promised we’d be there for each other, remember? That’s what girlfriends do.”
Drolta didn’t respond. Instead, she lifted her head up and gently pressed her lips to Sojourner’s. Sojourner returned the kiss, and Drolta rolled over to straddle Jo’s lap, cupping Jo’s face in her hands as they kissed softly. There was no heat or desperation, just a moment of passion, love, and care. The two basked in their soft embrace, taking in each other’s taste and breath.
They broke the kiss and stared into each other’s eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Drolta rasped. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. It was mean and unfair of me.”
Jo smiled. “I appreciate that. I forgive you. But you know, you could really make it up to me by eating. You starving yourself wasn’t on our weekend agenda.”
Drolta buried her face in the crook of Jo’s neck. “I know. I will. It’ll probably only be a little, but I will.”
Jo wrapped her arms around Drolta and planted a kiss on her forehead. “That’s good enough for me.”
Later that evening, they managed to go through reorganizing the closet, as initially planned. Drolta whined with annoyance as Jo held a photo of a 21-year-old Drolta cosplaying Queen Akasha out of reach, knowing that Drolta found it embarrassing because she felt it had been poorly done out of a lack of experience from her first cosplaying attempts. Jo found it adorable and swore she’d have it laminated. Drolta playfully tackled Jo to the carpeted floor and the two wrestled to steal the photo from each other’s grips, cackling with joy.
Jo couldn’t keep the smile off her face. She and Drolta were doing their best, and that was all that mattered.
Credit goes to jc for thinking of the "DroJo" ship name. Thank you, jc.