Chapter Text
Everything ached, the sun was too bright as it beat down on Natalie as she walked to the infamous high school that she had hoped to never show her face to ever again. Her hair, which had grown out and the bleach blonde color had drained, had been recut and redyed that night, was getting increasingly annoying as the wind whipped it into her face constantly.
She didn’t want to go back to school, definitely didn’t want to do it sober. But who is she kidding? Natalie Scatorccio never wants to be sober. Maybe that’s the issue, or maybe it’s just a something that needs a little fixing.
If you were to look at Natalie, your first thought would probably be something along the lines of addict, slut, burn out. A plethora of petty high school insults that have been hurled her way since 8th grade that she’s learned to ignore over the years.
What you won’t see is how desperate Natalie is for just a few seconds of good, honesty company. Natalie could confidently say she had no real friends in Wiskyaok. Sure there was the soccer team, and there was Van, or even Kevin.
But the soccer team was like a closed off group of their own these days, and Natalie was unsure if they would welcome her back with open arms after she had been gone for half a year. Van had started dating Taissa Turner maybe a month before Natalie left, and Kevin was a little to much of a try hard and desperate for Natalie to enjoy spending her time with him.
Natalie could honestly say there wasn’t a single person in this school, in this town, that was her person. Someone she could tell everything too, even her darkest thoughts. Someone she could lean on, or call at 3am when she did something stupid.
All of it, all of this, the school, the town. Was reminder after reminder on why she never wanted to be sober in the first place. And as she stood at the entrance doors of the school, already ten minutes late to first period. All she could think of was how much she wished she was high right now on something.
Sighing and putting all of her thoughts and emotions away the best she could, she opened the entrance doors and walked in. The therapist’s words from the rehab center rang in her head as she reminded herself to breathe.
Honestly, it would be a miracle if Natalie even made it through half the day without punching someone. Her emotions and sobriety never mixed well, she was what they called a lit fuze. Always waiting to snap, burn, or explode on everything she could touch.
Some might call it stupid, or self destructive. Hell she’s even had the word masochist thrown at her. But, in Natatlie’s eyes, she was just trying to survive. To make it through day after day without drowning completely in her own head.
Natalie collapsed into one of the cafeteria tables in the back corner of the lunch room, her hood tightly pulled over her head as if too shield herself from the prying eyes of the kids around her.
To be fair, for her first day back it was more exhausting than she thought it would be. Everyone wanted to ask if she was okay, if she was doing better now. How did they expect her to answer? She couldn’t tell them the truth, and she also didn’t want to lie to those she deemed semi close too. She was stuck.
So, Natalie did what Natalie does best. She became a ghost, she ignored everyone after 3rd period because she was tired of talking to people and having them ask her the same question over and over again.
It’s not like anyone really cared, nor noticed. The only reason why most of the school knew her anyways was either due to her infamous rumors of getting around, or because she was a Yellowjacket. Which, came with it’s perks at times(Like getting invited to all the best parties in town, ones she can no longer attend if she wants to stay sober).
Natalie leaned her head against the cool aluminum table. The lights in this place were too damn bright for only 11:30 AM.
The sudden sound of a chair scraping, being pulled away from the table, made Natalie lift her head. She had expected to see another kid or one of the teachers asking how she was again, already preparing a loud speech on how people needed to leave her the fuck alone.
But, when she glanced up, she was met with the sight of Lottie Matthews. The taller girl didn’t say anything, just gave Natalie a small, polite smile and sat down, pushing herself into the table. Natalie raised an eyebrow, watching as Lottie pulled out one of her notebooks and just started studying. Right there. At the table, with Natalie as she stared at her like a freak.
“Uhh…What are you doing?” Natalie asked, leaning back in her seat as she crossed her arms over her chest.
Lottie glanced up from her work, meeting Natalie’s gaze. Natalie felt a shiver run down her spine as they locked eyes. That was definitely not normal. Or, was it normal? God she had definitely spent way too much time in rehab.
“I just needed a quiet place to get work done. You’re quiet, and alone.” Lottie replied, almost instantly turning her focus back to her work in front of her. Her hand gripped her pencil a bit too tightly, but Natalie could still see the small tremor as she wrote something down.
Natalie bit the inside of her cheek. Usually, she would tell Lottie to fuck right off, that she didn’t care about whatever the girl had to say or offer. But, Lottie wasn’t asking her how she was, wasn’t trying to pry into how her time in Rehab had gone, either.
So, Natalie let her sit with her. Silence filled the space between them, it wasn’t uncomfortable, but it didn’t feel normal either.
All of a sudden, Lottie hums, pulling herself from her work and reaching into her bag and pulling out a pre-packaged sandwich and a bag of chips. Natalie tilted her head, she knew Lottie was rich enough to not have to bother with the school lunch, but it still sometimes took her by surprise how Lottie seemed like it was so normal.
Lottie looked over at Natalie, seeing how the girl was watching her with what seemed to be very badly masked confusion and intrigue. Lottie grinned, before sliding the food over to Natalie and pulling out the same exact thing once more from her bag.
“Eat, you’re going to need it to get through the rest of today.” Lottie said, motioning towards the food now sat in front of the other girl.
Natalie stared down at the food now placed in front of her. She wasn’t usually one to take hand outs, let alone let anyone buy her anything in general. Natalie shakes her head, leaning back again in her seat.
“Nah, it’s okay. You didn’t have to buy that for me or anything, ya know.” She muttered, keeping her eyes away from Lottie’s and on the table.
She could hear Lottie sigh, before the food is pushed into her line of sight. Natalie scowled, looking over at Lottie, she was going to yell at her, tell her off, something. But, when she met Lottie’s gaze, the girl was staring at her with a patient look in her eyes.
“I didn’t buy it for you.” Lottie explained, she watched as Natalie’s face fell slightly, something that others wouldn’t be able to catch unless they had watched Natalie for as long as Lottie had.
“I bought too much, thought it would be nice to eat with someone who doesn’t bother me like everyone else.” Now that, coming from Lottie fucking Matthews of all people, shocked Natalie.
Natalie raised an eyebrow, before turning her attention back to the food in front of her. It wasn’t a hand out, Lottie also didn’t buy it for her. Natalie sighed, shaking her head even though she started to unwrap the plastic from around the sandwich.
Lottie smiled gently at the sight, but made quick notice to lower her gaze back to her work before Natalie caught her staring. Her hands were still shaking, her medication had started to stop working. Lottie knew she would have to tell her parents soon, or at least, at some point. But, a big part of her didn’t want too.
The two ate in silence, finding a strange comfort in being together in silence. No one to ask them how they were, or they were holding up. Natalie hadn’t realized how chill Lottie could be, she had always thought Lottie Matthews was some strange, preppy, rich girl. She still thinks that.
The walk to the field for soccer practice was strange. Natalie didn’t see anyone else as she walked. It wasn’t unusual per say, but it wasn’t normal either. Usually she saw at least one or two JV’s running to the field due to being late. But, even now she doesn’t see a single person.
When Natalie gets to the field, everyone is already there, doing warm up stretches. Her gaze immediately lands on Lottie, watching as the girl raised her hands above her head, her shirt slipping up as she did so. A small sliver of the taller girls abs showing as she did so. Natalie immediately tore her gaze away.
“Scatorccio!!” Looking over to where her name was being called, her gaze lands on Coach Martinez, who looks more displeased with her than he usually is.
Sighing, she drops her bag by the gate that surrounds the field before making her way over. She’s suddenly very aware of the fact that everyone can see her, everyone is probably staring at her. It makes her crave to not be sober anymore.
“Come with me, Scatorccio, we have some things we need to discuss.” Coach Martinez demanded, already walking off to where his ‘office’ was.
Not looking back at her team mates, Natalie lowers her head, keeping her gaze on the ground as she walks behind Coach Martinez. Anxiety ate at her chest, ate at her brain, making it harder and harder to focus. God, what she would do for a good blunt right now.
“Sit down, Natalie.” Coach Martinez sighed, motioning towards the chair in front of his desk as he took his own seat.
Natalie sat down, wringing her hands in her lap. She wasn’t nervous, not really, she just, didn’t understand what was going on. And that was what made her nerves light up. She hated not knowing what was going on, it left too many things to question and not enough answers unless she asked out right.
“What is this about?” She asked, not looking at Coach Martinez and instead at the ceramic turtle perched on his desk. It suddenly had her full attention, her eyes raking over the designs and different colors.
Coach Martinez sighed, shaking his head. “Natalie, you’ve missed six months of school.” Before Natalie could get a rebuttal in, Coach Martinez raised his hand. “I know that was out of your control, Scatorccio. That’s not my issue here.” He continued.
Natalie raised an eyebrow, finally now looking over at Coach Martinez. Out of everybody, she wasn’t expecting Coach Martinez to be the one to not care about the fact she missed half a year in Rehab.
“Your grades are horrible, Natalie, I’ll give it to you straight.” He said, crossing his arms across his chest. “I tried to do my best to not have this be the solution, kid. But, until you get your grades up, I can’t let you play on the team.”
Natalie sits there, staring at him for what felt like forever. It was really only three minutes. Her world, which was already cracked enough, finally was starting to crumble around her.
Tears built in her eyes, but she blinked them back. This wasn’t supposed to happen, she was meant to be on the field. She was sober for fucks sake! Natalie shakes her head, leaping up out of the chair and rushing out the make-shift office.
Coach Martinez yelled after her, but she didn’t care. She wanted to just leave, to go where she wasn’t sure. She didn’t exactly want to go back home either. She ran across the field, quickly picking up her bag from the fence before running off.
Lottie stared at her the entire time, confusion etched on her face as she watched Natalie rush off. A bad feeling took place inside her chest, and it was there to stay this time.