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“I don’t really get it,” Ace murmured, almost too soft to hear, staring at the floorboards by Whitebeard’s boots. “He hated me. Why did he want that?”
“Did he hurt you?” Whitebeard asked carefully, and Ace knew he was missing something, one of those things that normal people knew, and he didn’t. Sometimes he felt like a fish taking a walk on the shore, confused by things that were as natural as breathing to everyone else.
“Yeah?” Ace offered eventually. “It wasn’t fun.” Sex was supposed to be. That was why people did it, after all, and that was why he didn’t get why the marine had wanted to fuck him, much less offered to let Ace go in exchange. “I don’t think he liked it either, ’cause he was angry the whole time.” It had sucked--had been very nearly the worst sex Ace had ever had.
“Some men are bad. It’s the nature of the world,” Whitebeard told Ace. His hand crept into Ace’s field of vision, his fingers beckoning Ace closer. “Is that what’s been bothering you?”
Ace grabbed onto the tip of Whitebeard’s finger, still fascinated by how big it was in comparison to his own. Whitebeard’s hands made him feel warm inside for reasons that he didn’t have words for. They were nice hands. “Nah. That happened months ago. I didn’t even think of it until you asked if I’d been compromised when I was looking for Blackbeard. Doesn’t even really count, I don’t think, because I didn’t tell him anything. Does it count?”
"No, I don't think it does," Whitebeard tugged Ace closer. “Did anything else happen while you were out searching?”
“I met up with Luffy!” Ace said, grinning, still delighted by the memory. “He’s gotten so big and grown up, but he’s still adorable! And his crew is great, and we had a ton of fun together, and it was awesome!”
“You had a good time, then?” Whitebeard asked, chuckling. His free hand came down and hooked around Ace’s back, and he lifted him, Ace dangling in mid-air like a cat caught by its scruff for a second before he dropped onto Whitebeard’s broad knee.
“Yeah, it was great seeing him again. I really missed him, you know?”
“I think everyone on the ship knows that you missed your little brother,” Whitebeard answered, his hands staying in place around Ace's shoulders, holding him steady.
“Could he come and meet you? Someday, when he gets to this side of the world, I mean. I’d like--I want him to meet you,” Ace asked.
“Of course! I’d be offended if you didn’t introduce us,” Whitebeard answered. “But what’s been making you look so sad this week?”
Ace licked his lips, and dared to look up and meet Whitebeard’s eyes. His father didn’t look mad--if anything, he looked overwhelmingly soppy, like someone had shown him twenty baskets of puppies, and asked if he would be their papa. Ace didn’t particularly want to disturb that. “Nothing?”
“I wasn’t born yesterday, Ace,” Whitebeard scolded, smiling to soften it.
“It’s...it’s pretty bad,” Ace warned him, shifting uneasily and wrapping his hands around Whitebeard’s thumb. “I did something bad.” He didn’t think he’d made the wrong choice, but Whitebeard might. “Promise you won’t be mad?” Ace asked, trying to make it a joke but failing.
“I promise,” Whitebeard said, and Ace believed him. It wasn’t like Whitebeard had gotten mad over the whole thing with the marine, so how bad could this go?
“I killed Blackbeard while he was fucking me,” Ace blurted out, and fuckfuckfuck, he wasn’t supposed to say it like that! Whitebeard’s hand jerked him up and off of his knee and Ace curled up to try and soften the blow that he knew was coming.
He hit Whitebeard’s chest hard enough to knock his breath out, unable to move--barely able to breath with how tight he was being held. “I’m sorry!” Ace wheezed, hoping Whitebeard would have some mercy.
“My poor child,” Whitebeard muttered into Ace’s hair, and that was when he realized that he was being snuggled, not crushed, and that Whitebeard actually sounded a bit choked up. “You’re so brave.”
“You aren’t mad?” asked Ace, just to be sure, because he’d been certain that Whitebeard would be. At the very least he’d figured he’d be scolded for being dishonourable.
“Of course I’m not mad!”
It was nice, being hugged, but Whitebeard should have some standards. “I gutted him with a broken glass,” Ace said. “And it got all over me. His guts, not the glass,” Ace clarified, then figured that he probably shouldn’t have because Whitebeard squeezed him even tighter. “Some of the glass too, though.”
“That must have been horrible,” Whitebeard said, and he sniffed loudly, wiping away what Ace thought might be a tear.
“Well yeah. Obviously.” Ace squirmed a bit, trying to get room to breathe, and Whitebeard loosened his hold with a muttered apology. “You don’t think it was...dishonourable? Because he won when we fought.”
Teach had beaten Ace easily, ate up his fire like it was nothing and then punched him through a wall. Ace had woken up naked in Teach's quarters with the bastard bitching about how much of a slut Ace was, and Ace had rolled with it.
“Are you alright? Do you need to see a doctor?” Whitebeard asked. “Teach was--”
“Huge.” Ace finished for him when Whitebeard stalled on the word, because yeah, that had been deeply unpleasant. “But I’m better now. It was over a month ago, you know.”
“Yes, it was, wasn’t it...” Whitebeard trailed off, then rose to his feet, tossed Ace up onto his shoulder and started for the door of his study. “Why don’t we go get dinner? And then ice cream. Then maybe a nice nap for you.”
“That sounds pretty good,” Ace said, nearly whispering because he was right next to Whitebeard’s ear, and it would be rude to yell. “It’s really okay?”
“I’m very sad that that happened to you, but I am not at all upset with you,” Whitebeard said, pausing with his hand on the doorknob. “You survived and came home, and that’s all I could want from you.”
“I think you could really ask more of me than that,” Ace protested. He wasn’t a child or a layabout--he could be useful, damn it.
“Well, if you wanted to tell me that marine’s name, I’d like that.” Whitebeard’s scowl honestly scared Ace for a second, and then it disappeared like it had never existed.
Ace didn't hesitate. “He called himself Smoker. Why do you want to know?” He hoped--he hoped that Whitebeard was mad at the marine. Ace could get his own vengeance, but he didn't want to ever see that guy again.
“For curiosity’s sake," he said, and it was the most blatant lie he'd ever told Ace. "Now how about dinner? You’ve barely touched your meals since you came home, you must be starving.”
The tightness in his stomach disappeared, and Ace relaxed, safe and happy and starving now that that nasty bit of business was cleared up. “I guess I could eat. I--uh."
"Yes?" Whitebeard prompted him when Ace stalled.
"Thanks dad," Ace said, wrapping his arms around Whitebeard's neck. "For not being angry at me. I was really--I thought for sure that you would be."
"Ace, you are my son." Whitebeard said it like that answered everything, and maybe it did.