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"I kissed you, and even the dark turned gentle for a while."
Bernadette is a 34-year-old Midwestern retail manager who just wanted a quiet Friday night with her Bath & Body Works candle, her current BG3 playthrough, and her vampire smut.
Instead, a cursed journal yanks her into Baldur’s Gate. She expects to be dead in an hour.
What she doesn’t expect is that the game lied.
Cazador Szarr isn’t the cartoon villain she spent hundreds of hours hating. He’s a traumatized Kozakuran warlock bound by a devil’s pact, quietly culling the worst of the city to buy back his soul. And Astarion? The tragic elf she romanced on every playthrough? He’s a corrupt, narcissistic libertine who built his own cage.
Now at the epicenter of Cazador’s centuries-old Faustian endgame, Bernadette has to survive a palace full of feral vampire spawn, navigate the cutthroat politics of the Upper City, and most dangerously, stop herself from falling for the very monster the game told her to destroy.
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Bookmark Notes:
The Chiaroscuro of Szarr
TheSanguineSonnet -
Bookmark Notes:
hilarious and delightful
astarion is a narcissistic bad guy -
Bookmark Notes:
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