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Part 1
No one called it relegation anymore, despite the similarities between relegation and how Maia had grown up. Maia just knew he was a secret, almost everything about his existence. He was not acknowledged publicly, though he was always included in the official imperial counting of his father's children, just not under the name he had used his whole life.
Maia Sevraseched was the one who attended the little town's school an hour outside Cetho. Archduke Maia Drazhar, the only half-goblin son of the emperor, was the one no one had ever seen in the capital, that most people thought had died in childbirth (that there were endless urban legends and rumors about). Neither of the Maias ever spoke to anyone to whom they were actually related by blood.
Arbelan Drazharan (known as Arbelan Ceredezho to Cetheree Town) had raised Maia since his mother's death. She knew the secret of Maia's parentage, but had treated Maia as her own son for a decade, giving him what she could as his guardian. They had not always been entirely comfortable in the big old house that had been Cetheree before the town had taken its name from the estate. It had been an imperial estate until Maia's father had divorced Arbelan for her barrenness and in his magnanimity, had gifted it to her to live on in what was also not relegation.
The fact of their living situation was simply that The Crown paid for them to never speak to anyone about The Crown in any way, nor acknowledge who Maia actually was.
Maia did as was expected, knowing in an intellectual way that his true name was Maia Drazhar, while never thinking of himself as anyone but Maia Sevraseched. He was the son of an emperor, and the grandson of an avar (before Barizhan had done away with the avarsin entirely when Maia was a small child).
For all practical purposes, though, Maia was no one.
On and off throughout his youth, he had taken to writing letters to his father in his mind, as he could not put on paper or email any of those words.
To the Emperor Varenechibel IV Drazhar,
We have been hoping again that we might be allowed to attend university. We feel that a most appropriate university for our study would be the University of Cetho, but we would also understand if that is too close to court. Amalo or Csedo are also
But he had never finished them, as they always devolved into capitulations to what he assumed would be his father's arguments against his requests. They were always requests and he could always see the argument against the request.
From the story of his birth, Maia knew nearly everything he needed to know about his father the emperor. The elvish emperor Varenechibel had been married after a whirlwind courtship to Chenelo, a goblin woman and the daughter of the former Great Avar, who had remained stubbornly a virgin until their wedding night. They were apparently terribly mismatched, in some way that Maia forced himself not to consider, but they had at least conceived Maia, so something must have happened. Then, Varenechibel had wanted to divorce her, and Chenelo would not agree to the terms of any proper annulment because they had consummated the marriage, and she had entered into the marriage in good faith.
So, Varenechibel had hidden her away at one of the imperial estates, and that was where Maia had been born, at Isvaroee. He had had an idyllic childhood in that little country house with his beautiful, sad, sick mother. His mother had always been honest with him about her marriage to Varenechibel, but she had also always made it clear that he could not tell anyone or Varenechibel might not protect them anymore. He had always gone by his mother's maiden name, from when he first began school.
Then, Chenelo had died of something whose name he had never known, only that it stole her from him in pieces and when it had stolen the last one, his whole life had changed.
He had not been allowed to remain at Isvaroee, and the friends he had had at the little school there were lost to him entirely.
At Cetheree, though Arbelan had always encouraged him to make friends, he could always feel the secret of his birth keeping him at a distance. No one was supposed to know that Maia was the son of the emperor, so he kept the secret so perfectly that he never felt quite like a person. He was friendly and polite, and a handful of times, he had gone to parties or out on dates with classmates who invited him. He always made sure to never say anything about himself that they did not already know, and turned the conversation back on anyone who asked him a question.
Maia tried to be the perfect son to Arbelan, getting perfect grades and improving himself however he could, while never excelling so much that he was noticed for it. As he had reached his sixteenth year, he had stopped letting himself be photographed after Arbelan had commented one day that he reminded her of his father, and he could not let that be noticed by anyone else. Varenechibel was the most recognizable man in the empire, had been photographed constantly for almost sixty years, and Maia could sometimes see in his soft gray features the profile of the Drazhada, to say nothing of his Drazhadeise gray eyes.
He thought Arbelan worried about him with how much he forced himself to be exactly correct in all situations. He hated that she worried, but he could not change that he needed to be this sort of person.
It was in the autumn after he had finished school that Varenechibel died. He had taken a filing job at the town lawyers' office, and it was there that he learned that Varenechibel's airship had gone down on its way from Amalo. Mer Cabrenar, who had seen Maia's official paperwork when processing his hiring, had taken Maia aside and told him if he needed to take the day to deal with family matters, it would be considered bereavement. Maia had not known what to do with the sympathy, as he could not imagine that this secret could be revealed, even now.
When he got home that night, Arbelan was watching the coverage of the crash, and it was then that Maia learned it had been not only Varenechibel, but also the half-brothers he had never known, Prince Nemolis and the other Archdukes Nazhira and Ciris. He could only collapse on the threadbare floral-patterned couch when the news reader said this left the succession confused since the Archduchess Nemriän was no longer Drazhada after her marriage, and Vedero had quite publicly divorced herself from her title and the House Drazhada earlier this year over some marriage that Varenechibel was apparently trying to arrange.
A confusion of the succession meant that it was either Idra, Nemolis's son, or Maia to be the next emperor, and he could not imagine that it would be him.
After all, Maia was no one. A secret. Practically a by-blow if Chenelo hadn't refused to allow the annulment.
"Maia," said Arbelan softly.
He looked up, the room wavering with his swimming head.
"Thou art—"
"No!" He could not hear it. He could not acknowledge it. It could not be him. He was not what he should be, the secret, the unacknowledged, the impossible child of Varenechibel. "No!"
He was shaking and he could not stop. He could not think.
Arbelan made him a little soup and wrapped him up in one of the scratchy afghans she had crocheted in the evenings while they watched television. She turned the channel to a rerun of the old Budarezh & Omdar shows and Maia found that he could not keep his eyes open.
Maia woke again sometime in the middle of the night, still wrapped in the afghan on the couch that was a bit cramped for his gangly frame. Arbelan had perched on the cushion and was stroking his hair to wake him.
"My dear, thou must open thine eyes." Her voice was a little scratchy as it was in the mornings. "There are men here to see thee."
He nodded, knowing what that meant. Or, rather, in his half-awake state, he had to fight his thoughts that they were here to fix the problem of his birth. That couldn't be right. They were here to fix the problem of his secrecy, by making him be the emperor.
"I will come." As she rose, he reached out his hand and grabbed hers. "Wilt come with me? Thou wert the empress once. Canst help me?"
Her blue eyes, as dear to him now as his own mother's red-orange eyes had been, softened and she squeezed his hand. "Yes, my dear. I will help thee however I can."
"Should I accept?" He did not want to decide. He was not supposed to be the one to succeed his father.
She sat again on the bare edge of the couch. "Maia, they tried to vote thee Class Witness three times. And thou didst love the mock parliaments, in which thy position always won, and I know that in thy heart, thou wert wishing to study the law."
"But only to understand it for its own sake, not to rule the empire!" Truly he had wanted to learn the law to be a lawyer, not a politician, and especially not the emperor.
"My dear, thou canst still find a way to understand it for its own sake," she smoothed his hair back from his temple and caressed his cheek. "But, I know thou wouldst be a properly good emperor, as the empire has not known since before the Varedeise sequence. Thou couldst be a new kind of emperor."
Well, if nothing else, there had never been a secret archduke who became the emperor, so that alone was something new.
So, Maia went to Cetho, to the ancient, sprawling Untheileneise Court, to the palace of the Alcethmeret to live, and to be the emperor.
Part 2
The first thing he learned being the Emperor Edrehasivar VII Zhas was that he was never allowed to be alone again. The second thing he learned (from Arbelan as she rolled her eyes at the nohecharei) was that this was a lie, and there were rooms in the Alcethmeret that could be warded for the emperor's use when they did want to be alone, or alone with one or possibly two other people (depending on how strong the dachenmaza was who cast the ward). One room was a little sitting room that Maia used for meditating. Another was the one Maia referred to in his head as "the fuck room", because it looked like a Versheleise love hotel (which had apparently been decorated as such by his father's father, and which Maia requested should be redecorated to be less garishly furnished).
The Corazhas seemed intent that he find a wife to secure the succession quickly, but though the women of court were all very beautiful and interesting in their own ways, he had so far not managed to find anything of interest to him about any of them, and they grew as confused at his constant questions about themselves as every other person he had ever gone on only a first date with.
Arbelan offered to help him, as she had been doing for all his teenage years, but whatever romantic life he might have eventually found as No One was turned bizarrely on its head now. He didn't want to meet anyone.
Amazingly, he didn't meet anyone. He just sort of happened upon… well…
First, there was Csevet Aisava, the aide who had come with the nohecharei, who was the most beautiful man Maia had ever seen, and who had unexpectedly stayed at Maia's side. Csevet knew everyone, had some kind of wonder tale power of retaining information, and very kindly accepted Maia's offer to be his personal aide. ("Kindly", as if Maia was not giving him the highest possible promotion, in the worst sort of sink-or-swim situation possible.)
Throughout his life, Maia had perfected the power of simply never acknowledging his own feelings about anything, so working alongside Csevet was easy. He could meditate on the blue eyes and clear-white hair in its perfect coif in private, and never think of Csevet's berry-red lips for a moment as he spoke to his aide about the Corazhas meetings and the hundred exhausting problems of his day.
The issue was that Maia knew what it was like to kiss other men. Men were the ones who usually kissed him at the ends of dates, even if things hadn't gone well (when Maia had made sure they didn't go well), and he didn't dislike it. He just hadn't really thought about doing it himself before the men kissed him. So, this was new, wanting to kiss someone.
But, as Maia was Csevet's employer, Csevet was very much off limits, so Maia didn't let himself do anything about wanting to kiss Csevet. Maia was quite insistent that he not follow in his father's footsteps and get involved with anyone actually inappropriate (his last two wives, for one, and the four confirmed mistresses, for another).
Second someone was entirely a different matter.
He had been at one of the interminable events that clotted his calendar, the Evressai War Orphans and Widows Ball, with the Untheileian too hot and stuffy for the number of people dancing. He had asked an appropriate number of ladies to dance, remembering their names and facts about them as if he would be quizzed on it later (because, inevitably, somehow, he would be).
Then, Maia had gone out onto the wide terrace, cold in the late winter night, to take a moment of quiet from the jaws of his courtiers. Tonight, his guards were Kiru and Telimezh, and they stayed a few steps back as he sat on one of the long benches against the wall. The windows were high enough up the wall that the whole terrace was dark, and Maia let out a long sigh as the cold of the stone seeped through his fifteen layers of silk, satin, and brocade.
It was at that sigh that he heard the rustle of a skirt, then a small intake of breath from the balustrade and squinted into the darkness. A woman had turned, and now he could see the red little glow of her cigarette. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he saw that she held her curtsey, eyes downcast, and it pained him, but he knew that even here, he must either dismiss her or be the emperor.
"Rise, please," he said in what he had come to think of as his Emperor Voice. He stood and approached the railing, looking out at Cetho's lights.
Another rustle, and the woman was holding out her cigarette case to him in offering. "Would you care for one, Serenity?" Her voice was deep and a little wry.
Maia shook his head. "No, we thank you. We have never counted that among our vices."
She let out a little chuckle. "Do you mind if we continue, ourselves?"
He made a little motion with his hand as he said, "By all means…"
It was then that Maia realized he was speaking to a woman without knowing her name or house, or how closely they were already related and what that meant for their marriage prospects, and at some point, that spell would be broken. It also meant that he could not so easily employ the tactics he had always used to keep people at a distance.
"Serenity, might we ask you a slightly inappropriate question?" she asked, being perhaps already inappropriate.
"If it is, we will forgive you. Please ask." He was not entirely sure which voice he was using now. Somewhere between Gentle Emperor and Arbelan Personal. He blamed the darkness and half-anonymity.
She let out a little huff of a chuckle. "Are you aware of how many ladies believe you are truly interested in marriage to them with how many questions you ask?"
Maia felt the wind of her words blow through him. "We had thought it would work how it did in Cethoree. Everyone has always lost interest in us when we never said anything about ourselves."
She hummed a little noise of interest. "We see, Serenity," she said, then lapsed into a little silence wherein she took several long drags off her cigarette and Maia wished he did smoke, to give him something to do with his hands. "Well, we see what Csevet means."
Like a hypnic jerk, Maia landed in the spot he was already standing. "What? Csevet was speaking of us to you?"
She laughed. "Do not worry, Serenity. He said nothing particularly interesting, and certainly nothing confidential or intimate." Intimate?! "He only said you had quite different expectations of how people would react to you."
Maia's mind was reeling. Who was this woman? Did he want to break the spell?
Only, it was somehow better not to know in this moment, as long as he might be his old secret person with this new secret person.
"He knows us better than nearly anyone. We are sure he was right in anything he told you. We do not know what we would do without him. And how do you know Csevet?" Not being able to use a title for her was beginning to itch slightly, as she continued to recognize him.
She breathed out a stream of smoke and smiled. "We were at university together in the same program. He took an internship at court, then the courier position. I have simply always been at court because of my father."
She helpfully did not say who her father was, and Maia glanced at her, her face now entirely clear as his eyes had adjusted. Her eyebrows were raised and her ears tilted at two angles in a sign that she had noticed he was not asking her name, and was now teasing him with hints about her identity. In his mind flashed weeks of this game, then years, a whole lifetime of never being introduced properly.
"What did you study?" he asked, genuinely interested.
"History. What would you have studied if you had gone to university, Serenity? Or, were you intent on always staying in Cethoree Town?"
He thought of so many mental letters to Varenechibel and how he had never thought through another after his father's death. "We had hoped to study the law if we could have saved the money to do it. Or, if our father had given us permission."
"Goodness. Did he really not support you at all?" She sounded alarmed in the same way Beshelar did when Maia sometimes let bits of his relegation slip into conversation.
"We and our guardian were comfortable but not lavishly provided for. We suppose if we had not been comfortable, we would have been more tempted to tell people who we were." He sighed, feeling muddled in his thinking as he had not been for years. The secrecy of his life had made more sense before he had become the emperor.
But, she did not seem confused or muddled. "We have heard that you are making more interesting judgments than the past hundred years of the Varedeise emperors."
He smiled at what may not have been intended as a compliment, but he could not help taking as one. "We quite enjoyed mock parliament in school. We have found that building coalitions in parliament is much the same as rendering judgments in court, or wrangling the Corazhas into action. If enjoying that part of being emperor makes us different from our father and grandfathers, we take it as a good thing. Do you?"
She grinned. "We do, Serenity."
"We are glad." In his chest was a floating sensation despite the heavy clothes. Her approval did not seem to be given easily, somehow. "What was Csevet like when you first knew him?"
The look she shot him was full of joyful amazement. Maia pretended it had nothing to do with the attempt at sounding casual that he could hear had failed.
"Well, by his own admission, he was the program bicycle," she said, with the casual tone Maia had not managed. Again, his mind reeled at the implication about his aide. "With nearly everyone unattached. And before you ask, yes, including us. We do hope it does not hurt our marriage prospects to tell the emperor we are not a virgin."
Her shoulder bumped his, and he realized how close they were standing.
"We do not think that fact has much bearing on anything…" Again, he found it strange to have no honorific to put in its place in the sentence and hoped she did not fill it in out of habit. He quickly said, "Please, continue? Csevet?"
"Ah, yes. He was always quite proper and helpful, ushering along all the interminable group projects. We always knew he would be someone important. We assume you know he studied the political history of the Ethuveraz. We were not surprised to hear he became your Serenity's aide." She glanced at him and her earrings tinkled as her ears changed their tilt. "And, before you ask, we studied the cavaliers of Edrevenivar the Conqueror."
"Why?" he asked, almost automatically.
"Our augury of favor is Anmura, and we have always been interested in swords. The cult of personality around Edrevenivar and his cavaliers, some of whom believed he was Anmura made flesh has been picked clean in the universities, but few of them had anything interesting to say about the relationships themselves. We have so many of their own words to show their devotion was not merely spiritual, nor fealty but many loved him and each other as marnei." She watched for his reaction, but if the revelation that his aide was almost certainly marnis had gotten no reaction, the idea that the cavaliers who crossed the Istandaärtha were marnei was similarly unspectacular. Seeing he had no reaction, she chuckled again. "Well, we were scandalized when we first read the part of Dethelar's Ballad to a Conqueror that are not included in the usual school curriculum."
"We confess, that was not one of Dethelar's Ballads we were most interested in," said Maia. "Though, perhaps we would have been more interested if we had known he was in love with Edrevenivar."
"What did you enjoy, then, Serenity? We know little of you or Arbelan Zhasan, or your mother, for that matter."
It was so easy to talk to her. Far too easy, really.
"We liked Goëlar's novels, how she could show one the follies of society so clearly in so few phrases. Everyone's character was so clearly drawn, not like mine."
He could not take back the words, and they hung in the air, nearly illuminated in their intimacy. Who was this woman? Why was he telling her things he had only ever said in half-phrased nothings to Arbelan?
"I don't agree. Your character is very clear." She spoke decisively, as though she had known him since his childhood and really knew him.
"I've been a secret. No one. I don't have anyone but Arbelan. No friends, no anything." He heard a sound from behind him, which was unusual for Kiru and Telimezh. He hoped neither of them felt the need to say something about it later. Kiru might anyway, even if he did not want to hear it.
"Serenity, we've been speaking for half an hour, and I feel I can say you are definitely not no one." She let it sit in the little sliver between them. "And, if you would like, you may count me as a friend."
He barked out a laugh, harsh as the loudest sound that had happened in that half hour of their acquaintance. "But, we haven't been introduced."
She laughed back, a bright and happy sound. "I was so hoping we might not be introduced, Serenity. I most wish I might not have known who you were, either. I've always felt that titles got in the way of enjoying a conversation. It's why I hate these court events."
He bumped her shoulder back. "Is that why you came out to smoke on the terrace in the winter?"
"Well, one meets much more interesting people out on the terrace smoking than inside dancing."
The feeling of truly flirting was making him bolder. "If you were to go inside, would you consent to dancing with your emperor?"
Pressing her shoulder into his, she said, "But, I haven't been introduced to the emperor."
"Then, would you dance with me?"
"But, we haven't been introduced, either."
"That's alright, I'm no one."
Her hand darted out and grasped his. She turned her head fully to look him in the eye, a ferocity there that he saw most often in Arbelan. "That is not true. You are about to be my dear friend, Maia Drazhar."
He shook his head. "Maia Sevraseched." He had not said his own name in months. "For my mother."
Her mouth opened and her eyes softened. "Sevraseched."
The door to the Untheileian opened and the sound of the ball came rushing out. She let go of his hand as he turned to see who had come out.
"Oh, good, here you are, Serenity," said Csevet. "It is time for your toast."
Maia could see that Csevet could only barely see him with the difference in light. "We'll be right there."
He turned slightly back to her and whispered, "Will you still dance the next with us?"
She smiled again and nodded, curtseying as she said, "We would be happy to, Serenity."
When her face was visible in the light from the door, Csevet startled back. "What? Csethiro? But, you're back?"
Maia's mind helpfully filled in the remaining portions of her name and her lineage from the lists he had inadvertently memorized of all the nobility with currently marriageable daughters. Dach'osmin Csethiro Ceredin. Daughter of the Marquess Ceredel. Great-niece of Arbelan Drazharan.
Dach'osmin Ceredin sighed and nodded. "Yes, my father insisted we come in from Ashedro to be introduced to the emperor. But, for now we will let him give his toast." She shot Maia a little smile, squeezed Csevet's arm and disappeared into the light.
Edrehasivar gave the toast to loved ones lost in the war, pledged his dedication to finding an end to the conflict, and everyone drank.
Then, Maia took Dach'osmin Ceredin's hand and learned how different it was to dance with someone he liked.
When he went back to his throne on the dias, he could not help tracking her with his peripheral vision as she made her way over to where Csevet stood with his tablet. They spoke for a few moments, Csevet glancing up at Maia a few times between glaring at Dach'osmin Ceredin. Then, she put her hand on Csevet's chest and whispered in his ear and Csevet's face turned pink to the tips of his ears and he pulled back, his face shocked and no longer angry. She kissed his cheek and let her hand caress down his chest as she turned to move away.
The whole thing had taken at most three minutes, and in the corner where Csevet had been standing, one could see up to the dias but not most of the rest of the room. He wondered if either of them had thought he could see them.
Much like he had put aside every other feeling he had ever had, Maia put it out of his mind.
Part 3
He had tried to put the ball out of his mind, but Maia had not been used to liking anyone, and liking two people was overwhelming.
He found himself distracted as Csevet briefed him on the day's schedule, and in audiences when he could see Csevet taking notes with his stylus on the tablet, careful and meticulous. He thought of Csevet flushed pink up to his ears at whatever Dach'osmin Ceredin had said to him at the ball, and wondered how far down that flush went.
But then, he also thought of standing so close to her on the terrace that he could feel her warmth through both the layers of his own clothes, and the way she had held his hand and told him so earnestly that she saw him as a person and a friend. He thought of how she had flirted with him, and he had actually been able to flirt back. Not only that, but he had actually wanted to answer her questions instead of just asking his own endlessly.
"Serenity?" said Csevet, his voice containing more than the actual question.
Maia had lost his attention again, as Csevet briefed him on the next day's Corazhas session and Maia stared at Csevet's lips wondering if they were as soft as they looked.
"We are sorry, Csevet, we have lost track of what you were saying."
Csevet's brow furrowed. "If we may say, Serenity, we could simply give you the notes to look over later or in the morning. Your Serenity has seemed out of sorts all week."
Because I was thinking of you and Dach'osmin Ceredin all week.
"And, we had wondered if perhaps you were distracted by your introduction to Dach'osmin Ceredin. We had thought when we gave you the original list of prospective Empresses that you might be especially suited to her." Csevet's tone was as neutral as it ever was, though Maia noticed he was beginning to turn that slight pink again.
"She was your choice?" asked Maia.
"I don't have a choice, Serenity," said Csevet, with more conviction than the statement warranted.
"But she was your choice because you know her?" He swallowed. "From your program at university? And your relationship with her?"
Csevet swallowed, but did not break his gaze into Maia's eyes. His voice was very small. "Yes, Serenity. And, I know the sort of person she is, and the sort of person you are, so closely, and I only thought you should meet."
"I liked your choice, Csevet. You do know me as well as nearly anyone ever has." He looked down and felt extremely glad that his complexion hid his own flush.
He could not look at Csevet as he asked, "What did she say to you? That night?"
"That you asked about me. That she wished for my sake you weren't the emperor or that we'd met before. Because she thought—"
Maia looked up again and Csevet's flush was back in full force. "What, Csevet?"
Csevet looked so desperately at him, Maia nearly reached across the space between their chairs to take his hand to comfort him.
"She said you seemed half in love with me."
"Yes," said Maia.
Csevet startled as though he had been slapped. "Serenity, I am your aide! I cannot be your lover!"
From beside the door, Kiru said, "You could. If you were discreet."
Maia turned his head to stare at his maza nohecharo. She grinned, shrugged, and winked.
He turned back to Csevet, who was nearly beet red. "What of Dach'osmin Ceredin? You know her best. She was your choice to be the empress. You have a prior relationship with her. If I married her… that is, if I courted her, and if she did become the empress, would it be because she's in love with you and tolerates me?"
Csevet's head and ears tilted sardonically. "Serenity, Csethiro Ceredin is the physical embodiment of loyalty and fidelity. I think if you married her, she would never look at another man again. The rest of what she said to me that night was that I have good taste, and would I mind sharing you."
Maia blinked and stared at Csevet. By the time he collected his wits, the only thing that would come out of his mouth was "Well, do you mind sharing me?!"
"Not in the slightest, Serenity," said Csevet.
Maia surged forward and their mouths crashed into each other, Csevet catching him before he hurt them both. When they came up for air for a moment, Maia said, "Maia. Please, my name is Maia."
And, in a love drunk voice, Csevet said that name and Maia fell the rest of the way in love with him.