Chapter Text
The bar was relatively empty.
Not necessarily all that strange for a Thursday evening, but still. Jason had been halfway hopeful that the university nearby might have a three-day weekend coming up or something. Even though this place was kind of off the beaten path,a lot of college students made their way beyond its doors. Probably because it was edgy, with obvious medieval tavern vibes and actual steins decorating the shelves behind the bar. Not for serving, apparently.
When she'd first discovered this place during a work outing, Chrissy had gushed over the quaint decor. She said it was like stepping into a pub in the Shire, with its ornate wood paneling and shelves with, like, vines and stuff wrapped around the posts. Stonework walls and decals set up to look like big round windows overlooking meadows, for some reason. There were insane paintings on the walls of dragons and knights, and Jason only found out after kind of befriending the bartender that he drew them.
Definitely not the kind of place Jason would've ever stepped foot inside when he was younger. The single TV was never on any sports channel, for instance. All the weird nerd stuff still set his teeth on edge a little, like it was the disease wing of a hospital and he was going to get some incurable infection if he stuck around too long. But Chrissy adored this place, and it was just odd enough that those aforementioned college students were pretty regular customers, too.
Hopping up onto a velvet-cushioned barstool, Jason rapped his knuckles against the wooden bartop to catch Eddie's attention on the other end. He waved before his tattooed hands returned to the cocktail they were mixing for the cute redhead he was serving. Some other regular, Jason figured, since she looked kind of familiar. Jason shot her a smile, and she rolled her eyes in response.
Huh. Stuck up bitch, then?
"What's up, man?" Eddie greeted when he'd served the frigid girl her drink. She took it into the back room with her, where Jason knew Eddie hosted game nights on Thursdays and Saturdays. As the door opened, loud chatter could be heard beyond the soundproofing, but it went blessedly quiet as soon as she pulled it shut behind her. "No Chrissy tonight?"
"Nah, she's got her pilates class or whatever," Jason explained, watching as Eddie grabbed a glass and started pouring Jason's preferred beer from the tap. There was, he mused, a benefit to having a regular bar. Like not having to order unless he wanted something different.
"Barre, you mean."
"Yeah, that," Jason answered, picking up the glass of beer Eddie had just set on the counter. He took a long, savoring sip. Even though Eddie only served weird shit from local breweries that no one had ever heard of, he had this single light beer that Jason absolutely loved. "Which is all good. Honestly, I've been needing a break."
Eddie quirked a brow as he toweled a glass dry.
"A break?"
Glancing up, Jason just shrugged. The weird friendship he and Eddie had developed over the last few months still gave him pause sometimes. Back in high school and college, Eddie would've probably been the guy Jason shoved into lockers or called out for being a freak. With his long hair, pulled back into a low bun as he worked, and the tattoos lining his arms, plus the odd way he'd chosen to theme his bar; little chance they would've gotten along prior to adulthood maturity. And really, the only reason Jason tolerated Eddie was because Eddie was easy to talk to. Quiet, mostly, he just listened as Jason unloaded. Only interjecting when he had some sage advice to offer, which still caught Jason off guard most of the time. First impressions never would have had Jason pegging Eddie for thoughtful. Probably because Eddie came off, even now, as such a nerdy weirdo.
He'd heard Eddie have these really expressive, boisterous conversations with other people. But Jason figured that was a front he put on to make people feel comfortable. Even when Chrissy commented on the fact that Eddie so rarely was quiet, Jason smirked to himself at her naivety. Obviously, Eddie'd grown more comfortable with Jason than with most other people.
Jason just had that air. People were inclined to be their authentic selves around him. It was something his coach used to boast about on his college baseball team.
"Yeah," Jason lamented after downing half his beer. "Not, like, a break break, but Chrissy… I dunno. We've been together so long. Sometimes— Ugh." Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jason sighed. "Can I be honest, man?"
"Sure."
Just then, the game room door opened again, interrupting Jason's thoughts with that loud, excited noise. Someone yelled something about a nat twenty, whatever that was, and the entire room erupted in shouts of joy. Three dudes, who were all laughing and shaking each other by the shoulders, closed the door behind them and practically rushed the bar.
"Eddie, oh my god, holy shit, you're not going to believe what just happened!"
Eddie gave them an easy grin, taking the empty glasses they'd brought out and refilling them with soda from the tap as they went on and on and on about some winning roll, how the dice were favoring them, blah blah nerd stuff. If Jason didn't know any better, he'd assume they were back there playing craps or something, right up until they started talking about barbarians and dwarves and the Vampire King. The first time Jason came in during a game night, Eddie had attempted to briefly explain the mechanics of the game to him. Up until Jason had apologized for asking, because he couldn't comprehend how full grown adults could wile away their evening with some fantasy storytelling bullshit.
Eddie blinked at him, like he had to process that, then shrugged and moved onto another topic of conversation. He'd blessedly never brought it up again.
Unless Chrissy was around, because she was genuinely curious about the game. She'd steadily grown into a weirdo the past few years, though, so Jason couldn't be too surprised. Even if he didn't necessarily like it. She'd bought herself a Nintendo Switch at one point and was basically, like, obsessed with it. She and Eddie talked video games all the time, and it made Jason want to stuff his ears with cotton.
That was part of the reason he'd come out tonight. The evening previous, after Chrissy finished cleaning up dinner, he'd tried to initiate some marital relations with her. She seemed okay with it at first, but then, when he squeezed her hips, he told her how soft she'd gotten recently. Which he meant as a compliment, he was pretty sure, but she got really weird and pulled away, stating that she wanted to play a game instead.
It pissed him off. She even refused to give him a blowjob, after she'd worked him up and then stopped. Today, she hadn't said two words to him.
After what seemed like an eternity of raucous noise that was essentially a foreign language, the younger guys finally took their sodas and whooped their way back into the room, where the noise beyond hadn't died down at all since they first emerged. Jason finished off his beer, and Eddie, still grinning, heard the tap of the glass against the bar and finally pulled his attention away from the nerds.
"Need another?" A gesture toward the empty glass, and Jason nearly scoffed.
"That'd be great, man."
"Apologies for the sheep," Eddie said, using that odd term of endearment he had for the gamers. "They're playing a campaign I designed, so they want to keep me updated. What were you saying about Chrissy, though?"
"Ah, nothing really," Jason grumbled. A fresh beer was set in front of him, Eddie moving to wash the original glass, and Jason sighed. He appreciated that Eddie didn't really pry for information. Made it easier to open up to him. "Like. Alright. Have you ever been in, like, a long-term relationship?"
Eddie snorted. "Do I look like that kinda guy?"
Rolling his eyes, Jason snickered. Of course Eddie wouldn't hold down a single girl. Despite the obvious freak side, the tattoos, and the long hair, Jason could admit that Eddie wasn't, like, hideous. Shit, he had college girls fawning over his bar every weekend. No way he didn't take one home here and there.
"Well, alright, you got me there," Jason agreed, making Eddie chuckle. "So, Chrissy and I have been together for, like… Damn, eleven years or something? Married for eight, I think?" Eddie gave him an incredulous look, waiting for Jason to continue when he trailed off. "Anyway, yeah, you can imagine, right? Ages. So, like, I love her. Of course I do. I married her."
Someone at the other end of the bar flagged Eddie down, and he held up his hand as he slipped away from their conversation. Greeting the guy and throwing a broad wave toward the girl he left waiting at their table in the corner, the two of them apparently playing one of the card games Eddie let people rent out sometimes. He took the empties the guy brought up and mixed a couple more drinks, talking to the guy the entire time about something Jason didn't really listen to. It didn't matter.
"So, yeah, I love Chrissy," Jason picked up again when Eddie finally came back after hanging out an extra few minutes to chat with the guy. His glass was empty again, and Eddie didn't need any prompting to get a fresh beer for him this time. "But, I dunno. Sometimes things between us just feel… stale? Like, we have this routine, and it makes me feel bad, but more and more lately I just feel like I want something fresh."
"'Fresh'?" Eddie clarified. Jason nodded. "What, uh. What do you mean? Like, you want to break up with Chrissy?"
Nearly choking on his beer, Jason had to bang his fist a couple of times against his chest to dispel the awkward inhale of his drink. Eddie made a face, turning his back for a minute and returning with a glass of water that Jason took gratefully.
"No, man, what the hell?" Jason hissed before taking a deep breath. "Absolutely not. Chrissy is great. She cooks and cleans and she stays in shape, for the most part. I just mean, like…" He didn't really know what he meant, that was the problem. "Ugh. Forget it."
"No, man, explain it to me," Eddie insisted, resting his elbows against the bar and tapping his fingertips rhythmically. "I'm just trying to understand."
Jason groaned, swirling his beer around in its glass for a moment. Watching the golden carbonation fizz and pop, each one a thought he wasn't sure how to articulate. He loved Chrissy. Mostly. No one was without their faults. She used to be a lot quieter, for example, but ever since they moved away after college she'd slowly become more outgoing. Louder. More excitable, but not really in the ways that mattered.
"Like, I want Chrissy, yeah?" Jason said. "I like being married to her. It's nice and familiar and whatever. But sometimes I want something else too, you know? Something exciting. Stuff with Chrissy is so vanilla, which is fine most of the time, but, like. I never really sowed my wild oats when I should have, back in college, because I was with Chrissy. I never had my crazy party days to be okay with vanilla for the rest of my life, you get me? So sometimes, I just want to… do that. Find another person, have a wild time, then go home to Chrissy."
Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Eddie watched his own fingers tap against the bar for a long moment while he processed that. Playing out some rhythm no one else could hear. Chrissy mentioned once that Eddie was a big music guy, and that he played instruments and stuff, but Jason wasn't sure how much merit there was in that. Eddie hadn't told him that himself.
"So, you, uh, want to open the marriage, basically," Eddie finally provided.
"Ew. What? No."
"I mean it's that or you want to start cheating, dude, and Hell forbid Chrissy catches you with someone else."
Eddie did that sometimes. Dropped little turns of phrase that made Jason have to tamp down a visceral reaction. Even if he hadn't been to church in years, it still struck a nerve to hear Eddie so casually refer to damnation like it was something to joke about.
"What even does that mean?" Jason asked, trying to get back on track. "Like, polygamy? Mormons?"
Laughter bubbling up out of him like a geyser, Eddie kept his mouth shut around his guffaw. Probably trying not to attract attention.
"No, dude, not like polygamy." Waving his hand like he could erase that question, Eddie shook his head. "No, I just mean, like. Casual. A friend of mine and his boyfriend are open and they just casually fuck other people. Every open couple I've heard about does it differently. Like, sets their own rules and shit, 'cause you gotta have that conversation." Ticking off his fingers, Eddie looked up toward the ceiling as he recounted. "I think my friends' rules are, uh, don't talk about it at home, don't bring dates home, and they have to be upfront with the people they're seeing about how the relationship looks."
Sitting back, Jason ruminated in that for a long moment, trying to wrestle with what it actually meant. Still with Chrissy, but also casually getting to have sex with other girls?
Silence stretched around Jason's thoughts as a large group of people bustled into the bar. They grabbed a couple of tables, the loud conversation disrupting Jason's ability to put the puzzle together, and Eddie shrugged. A couple people from the group were already coming up to grab drinks, talking so loud Jason couldn't piece together his voice.
"I dunno, dude," Eddie finally said. "It's your relationship. But, whatever. Just seems like that's what you're referring to. Who can say?"
Certainly not Jason. That was for sure.
"You're asking permission to cheat on me."
Jason had spent the last three days researching open marriages. He'd looked into a ton of online forums and searched up success stories (and maybe also looked up the difference between open marriages and polygamy). He put together a pretty cohesive argument to present to Chrissy, then sat her down after she'd finished cleaning up dinner to have the conversation.
Just to gauge her interest.
The problem? She wasn't getting it.
"No, babe, no," Jason disagreed, not for the first time. "It's not cheating."
"You're literally telling me that I'm not enough. That you want to have sex with other people."
Chrissy worked from home most of the time, editing books that other people wrote. She woke up early on Mondays and Wednesdays to go for runs, then went to her pilates class Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Weekends she cleaned and meal prepped and went grocery shopping and a bunch of other stuff that Jason had stopped tagging along to ages ago.
Essentially, she was perfect.
That was, he could admit to himself, part of the problem. The structure. The expectation of perfection. The schedule of hers he knew like the back of his hand, and his own routine with which he'd grown so unbearably bored.
"I'm not saying I want to— Alright, look," Jason said, retaking his seat across from her at the kitchen table. He was trying so hard to keep himself together, he had to get up and pace some of the excess energy off. "I'm saying, like, maybe both of us can, I dunno, go out and have fun, right? Meet people. Keep it casual. This?" He pointed at his wedding band. "This is ours, you know? No one can get between that. But I think, like, maybe we could look toward the physical side of thing with other people?"
Chrissy had obviously been trying to hold back tears for the better part of this conversation. When she blinked at him in utter shock, the tears finally won out, slipping down her cheek until she angrily wiped them away.
"So you want to have sex with other people," Chrissy clarified, "but you're telling me to be okay with it because I can also have sex with other people. Since you want that, I should obviously want that, too, right?"
Truthfully, he didn't love the idea of other guys taking Chrissy to bed. But, a few years back, she'd confessed to him that she thought she might also like girls, so Jason was holding out hope that she'd explore that little thread of repressed sexuality.
Either way, he wasn't going to know about it. That was one of the rules he wanted to take from Eddie's advice.
"Look, I did a ton of research," Jason said, pulling up the articles on his phone. He scrolled through them, trying to show her the evidence. Chrissy resolutely did not look at the screen. "Dozens of couples talking about how the open marriage brought them closer together because the physical parts of their relationship weren't, like, expectations anymore, right?"
"So our sex isn't good enough for you?"
Kind of. Not that they had sex much anymore.
"No," Jason insisted, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Look, I feel like you're being intentionally obtuse, Chris."
"Don't turn this around and make it my fault," Chrissy said, her voice thin. Delicately clearing her throat, she shook her head. "You're telling me, to my face, that our relationship isn't enough for you."
"That isn't— Babe, I love you, alright? You. I don't want to fall for anyone else. I just thought, like, maybe we could try this out! See if we like it, if it'll help us grow as a couple! I figured you'd understand that, at the very least."
"Usually, when couples want to grow together after they hit a rough patch, they seek therapy, Jason. Not whatever this is. Cheating but with rules."
"Oh my god, it's not cheating, Chrissy. It's called ethical non-monogamy."
Scoffing, a few more tears escaped Chrissy's ducts as she rolled her eyes. This time, she didn't bother wiping them away. She just sat there, stewing in her own misunderstandings of what Jason was presenting.
"Look, when I talked to Eddie about it, he said—"
"Eddie?" Chrissy interrupted, setting Jason's teeth on edge. He hated it when anyone interrupted him, but especially her. Something in her expression seemed weirdly hurt as she asked, "Eddie told you to ask permission to cheat on me?"
"No!" Jason very nearly shouted. Chrissy's eyes widened, suddenly flinching back like he was going to hit her or something. Ridiculous. "Jesus, babe, no, Eddie didn't tell me to do anything. Like, we just got to talking the other night, and he mentioned that he had a couple of friends who were in an open relationship, okay? How it worked for them, the rules they have, all of that."
As much as he wanted to blame Eddie for this entire situation, he needed Chrissy to understand that it was his idea more. That he'd never cheat on her, not really, but he wanted to do this for them. For their marriage.
Chrissy sat there for a long time, staring at the table. The tears on her face eventually dried, but her eyes were rimmed in red and a million miles away as the quiet encroached. Disrupting their discussion with little wisps of bleeding upset, red rivulets of Chrissy's misunderstanding staining the wooden table between them.
Finally, she stood up, still refusing to make eye contact. Walking down the hallway, Jason heard their bedroom door open, then shut quietly behind her. Which was fine. It was fine, because she just needed a couple minutes to get it together, to really think about what he was saying before she completely axed the idea.
Jason wasn't sure what he was going to do if she told him no. This felt like a make-or-break choice for them. He didn't think he could exist in their monotony anymore.
A few minutes later, their bedroom door opened, followed by the bathroom door. Jason stood, listening to the rummaging emanating from the hallway, before following the sound. Finding Chrissy as she loaded all of her beauty supplies into a toiletry bag.
"What are you doing?" Jason asked, the question accidentally coming out like more of an accusation.
"I'm going to Nancy's," Chrissy answered.
"You are not."
"I am," Chrissy answered, shoving past Jason where he stood in the bathroom doorway and rushing toward the front door. Trying to get away from him. Jason immediately followed, watching her gold-ish red bun bob for a moment before he tried to grab her arm. To keep her in place.
"No, Chris, you're gonna stay here and we're going to talk about this!"
"No," Chrissy seethed, whirling around and yanking her wrist from his grasp. Blue eyes swam with wet fury. "No, Jason, I'm going to take a few days to think about this. After everything you've done tonight, I think I deserve that."
"You— A few days?" he clarified as she grabbed her running shoes, setting them atop her duffel. Her feet were then shoved into her favorite pair of tennis shoes. "You can't leave for a few days, Chris, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to eat?"
"Figure it out," she spat as she grabbed her purse. "You're an adult."
Unable to keep himself from sneering, Jason chewed on a statement he knew would cut her deep before letting it slip out. Mostly unintentionally. "You know, you're being really ugly right now, Chris."
That made her stop. Pause. She took a slow, deep breath, the force of it raising her shoulders, before exhaling and opening the front door. When she looked at him again, a level calm had fallen across her features, even with new tears spilling from her eyes.
"That was mean," she stated, her voice hard but even. No crack, no anguish, like he'd been expecting. Which was probably better. Or maybe it was worse. "That was very mean, Jason."
Deflating immediately, the anger that had been building fled from the spotlight of his emotions. Hiding away in the shadows and forcing regret into the limelight.
"I know," he responded dejectedly. Regurgitating the shit her mother used to say to her was a step too far, even for him, and he knew that. "I'm sorry. That—That was unfair. I'm sorry, babe."
"I'm going to Nancy's," Chrissy stated once again. "I need to think, Jason. I deserve time to myself right now."
With that, she hoisted her things further up onto her small shoulders and marched out the front door. Not once did she look back at him.
Shoot.
Jason needed a drink.