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When the checkpoint guard waved Mephistopheles into a side lane, I joined the rest of the Sinners in a collective sigh. Our destination within Y Corp was finally in reach after over a week of tediously slow high-traffic driving, and we were all exhausted.
Charon dutifully drove the bus down the service road towards some sort of warehouse facility. Gunmetal grey and unmarked, it wasn't clear from the outside what it was for.
At best, we were probably in for several hours of extremely boring formalities.
At worst, this could mean serious trouble.
The bus entered through the waiting garage door. It promptly rolled shut, casting us into darkness aside from our own headlights. Unable to go any further, Charon jammed the parking brake into place and flipped the engine off. Without the hum of the motor, the cavernous room fell into an ominous silence.
We all waited, worn-out and on edge.
<"Do we just sit here, or-?">
As soon as I asked, the warehouse's overhead lights blinked to life one by one. The electricity squeaked with effort as it made its way across the building.
A spotlight revealed a printed sign on the opposite wall, which proclaimed in bold letters:
"WELCOME TO Y-CORP! WE WILL BE WITH YOU SHORTLY!
(PLEASE NOTE THAT SMOKING OR USE OF UNAUTHORIZED EQUIPMENT WITHIN THE INSPECTION AREA WILL BE NOT TOLERATED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!)"
"Hardly spooky at all," Heathcliff noted sarcastically. "I feel very welcome. In particular, I like how we're the only ones here!"
We took a moment to look out the windows now that the facility was illuminated. This giant warehouse that could have held over a hundred vehicles was empty — aside from one burned-out looking passenger van pushed into a corner. There was no sign of a driver or any passengers. The windows were greyed over with accumulated dirt. It looked like it had been left abandoned for... quite a long time.
Not the most encouraging.
"Hark! The sign doth proclaim a rule forbidding smoking, Young Ryoshu!" Don Quixote pointed at the sign with vigor, even though it was impossible to miss.
"D.C." Ryoshu didn't move a muscle.
There was a time where I might have naively tried to force her to comply, but experience had brought the wisdom to carefully pick my battles here. If we really did get in trouble over her smoking, it would be easier to pay the fine than to spoil the peace on the bus.
"Just relax. We clearly haven't done anything wrong." Ishmael folded her arms and leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes. "If we had, they'd jump in here right away. Let's wait our turn and be thankful for that, at least..."
Well, it didn't make much of a difference if we were sitting in a traffic jam or waiting in this garage. This was all just a part of traveling through the City. It probably wouldn't have stung so much if the promise of reaching our destination wasn't dangling so closely in front of us.
I returned to flipping through my notes, for lack of anything better to do.
--
After an hour of dull waiting, an alarm buzzer pierced the silence.
RAAAAAK!
<"...!"> I nearly fell off my seat.
A few Sinners groaned in displeasure, naps abruptly interrupted.
Below a blinking red light, a previously hidden door slid smoothly open. The room beyond was bright and blindingly white. Three figures emerged from it: two tall, and one a few feet shorter.
One of them tapped on the bus's door. Charon swung it open.
The smaller of the three visitors was revealed. She was a short woman, with wavy pale purple hair that tapered sharply inward at her shoulders. She wore a shiny white medical smock that nearly reached the ground, fastened in the front with a prominent Y Corp badge. She had an overloaded clipboard tucked under one arm.
As soon as she saw me, she put on a forced but pleasant smile.
"Goooood afternoon Limbus Company!" she chirped from the threshold.
I had no idea what to make of her.
<"...Hello?">
"...Hello," Vergilius graciously rescued me.
"I am Sabrina, and I'll be your special inspector today!" the woman announced. She pulled her badge forward on its retractable leash, getting it just close enough that we could both see from inside the bus that she was a Level 2 Inspector — which I could only assume was probably impressive.
"As I'm sure you're aware, it is Y-Corp's everlasting goal to eliminate all forms of disease. Therefore our Nest has a rather strict protocol when it comes to matters of entry... Though that's par for the course when visiting an Outskirts-facing district, isn't it?" Sabrina looked up at us, as though hoping for some friendly small talk in return.
Of course that was impossible for me, and as for Vergilius... well...
"We submitted our staff's records well in advance of this crossing," he asserted flatly.
"That you did! And that's why I'm already such a fan of your little company here..." Sabrina flipped through her clipboard packed full of papers, nodding to herself. "I'd never dream of inconveniencing you all for no reason! I'm certain our budding partnership in the pursuit of eliminating the Distortion Phenomenon will be quite a fruitful endeavor, but..."
She paused, and sucked in a breath through her teeth.
"Unfooortunately, I'm afraid I've received some very credible reports that there may be an issue aboard. I'm compelled by protocol to investigate."
She tucked the clipboard under her arm again. "All this being said, I'm aware that this bus is registered as a dwelling. Might I have your approval to enter so that I can begin?"
Charon turned to Faust. Faust nodded subtly in return.
"Permission granted, inspector drone," Charon confirmed.
Sabrina bowed her head politely as she entered. She was immediately followed by the two other Feathers I had almost forgotten about.
Each one was easily two feet taller than Sabrina. They were fully covered in black tactical gear. They looked ready for battle, in complete contrast to her doctorly uniform. One of them was equipped with a bulky backpack that added even more height to their already massive frame. It fed into an opaque hose, which ended on the enforcer's wrist in a nozzle that looked suspiciously like a flamethrower. (The more IDs I come into contact with, the better I get at recognizing such things.)
I sat up a bit straighter. The arrival of these two was tipping the scale of this encounter away from "boring bureaucracy" and perilously towards "big trouble".
"What the — who said anything about those two guys? The captain didn't grant permission to either of them!" Ishmael accused.
"These are my assistants. Think of them like my left and right hands, if you like. Thank you in advance for your cooperation and understanding! Now then..." Sabrina surveyed all the passengers aboard the bus.
"It's my responsibility to protect both citizens of the Nest and visitors alike from what they might not even be aware of themselves. I see from your manifest that you spent some time at P-Corp not that long ago?" Sabrina asked, producing the related document before us.
The question was clearly rhetorical, so no one said anything. I was starting to get a bad feeling...
"Imagine my surprise, when upon further research, I find that you got tangled in the resolution of the Urban Nightmare La Manchaland! My, what a situation that was. Many talented Fixers were lost to the effort. Bloodbags by the dozens required careful neutralization..."
"...and yet your little group had no losses? And you didn't see fit to report this operation to us on your entry form?" Her cheer became more tense, crinkling her eyes.
"Limbus Company would have included it, if there had been deemed any aspect of it worthy of concern," Faust calmly explained.
"That's the thing!" Sabrina tapped her hand against her clipboard. "You'd be surprised how easy it is to contract bloodfiendism without even your own awareness. We encounter this more often than you'd think. And your group arrives, fresh out of a bloodfiend nest, miraculously unharmed. You understand my reasoning?"
Sabrina pointed at Ryoshu, who was casually reclining in the back of the bus cabin without much heed to the proceedings. "That one, with the red eyes. Check her please."
The two enforcers burst forward in a highly rehearsed motion. The Sinners shouted in alarm and confusion as they swiftly pushed their way to the back row of seats, trampling on any feet or belongings left in the aisle.
The one with the backpack leveled their weapon directly at Ryoshu's head while it hummed and charged with some unknown energy.
There was a tense moment where Ryoshu clearly weighed the pros and cons of slicing everyone in front of her in half.
<"N-No!! Ryoshu, don't-!">
But I didn't even have time to finish my sentence before she was blasted with a pressurized stream of...
...water.
"What in the world?!" Outis shouted, wiping her coat. She had been in the splash radius, but she didn't have it even half as bad as the enforcers' main target.
"Replace it..." Ryoshu muttered through grit teeth. Her face twitched in displeasure.
Water dripped down her hair and onto the metal floor of the bus. Her cigarette, thoroughly doused, was limp in her lips. "Replace it, and Y.L.F.N..."
<"We'll replace it, we'll replace it!!"> I agreed from the front of the bus, nodding enthusiastically.
"Ah, so that's a clear negative. No reaction to water beyond expectation. Is this some sort of unregistered eye augmentation, then? Writing that down, writing that down..." Sabrina scribbled something on her clipboard's top page.
"Pardon the method. This is simply what is most time efficient and safe for our staff. Also, I do believe that the sign informed you that this is a no smoking area~!" Her perfect smile remained ever-present.
It was starting to get annoying, to be honest.
<"I really don't think I appreciate your approach. Maybe we can discuss how to handle this?"> I needed to pick out someone to interpret for me. There was still time to save this. <"Fau-">
"Don't worry clock. I'll make sure this doesn't go on for any longer than absolutely required," she said, dismissing my ticking. "The report does say that the one who was observed in the rain of blood was blonde... So next, let's have a look at these two over here."
The other enforcer pulled out a long tool. At first I thought it was a weapon like Hong Lu's polearm, but it ended in a wire loop instead of a blade.
Oh dear. Oh dear.
I swiveled around to look at the bench where Don Quixote sat. Her normally rosy face was pale. She stared down at Rocinante, nervously tip-tapping on the bus floor. She must have been doing her very best to keep her expression neutral, but it looked obvious to me that she was just one moment away from retching after the demonstration of the watery test method.
Would it be obvious to a Level 2 Inspector?
<"Someone should definitely do something!"> I said, mostly to myself.
But what could we do?
If I had known what was going to happen, I would have applied an ID card before the inspector arrived. It would be pretty hard to explain why we had a Cinq Section Director aboard, but it would have been way simpler to get through this with a mirror Don Quixote that didn't know the truth of her own nature.
<"Should we stop her? Can I stop her?"> It would be awfully suspicious if I protested, and picking a fight with a Wing in their own Nest would be suicide. Still, maybe we could arrange a bribe or someth-
"Raaaaaah! J-j-just hit me right away, then! I can take it!!" Sinclair suddenly burst onto his feet from his place beside Don Quixote.
Though his gloved hands were balled into fists, his face was no less pale than Don Quixote's. Was this rage, or some strange self-sacrifice? Either way, it didn't matter! Good thinking, Sinclair!
"Simply do unto us... what you must," Yi Sang murmured from the other end of the bench. He shut his tired eyes, seemingly resigning himself to his fate with dignity.
<"Um, Yi Sang, I'm not sure if she was even considering you...">
"Inspector woman, too messy. Mephi... will rust." Charon also chimed in with a well-timed defense.
"Now now, there's no need for dramatics. The rest of you seem quite well, with no obvious physiological changes. If there's any infection, it's certain to be at a nascent stage. There's a basic screening procedure for this — You can return to your seat there, young man."
Sinclair deflated and fell back into his seat. It looked like his burst of energy had been spent.
"Yes, even if we do find a problem we'll simply escort you out and compensate your employer and next of kin with an honorarium-"
What-?
"Donating your life to the advancement of scientific treatments is a noble cause! Now, if I can ask you two to follow this light? Look right here, please."
Sabrina took out a pen light and waggled it in a series of rehearsed circles and patterns.
All three of her test subjects were looking very shaken for their own unique reasons, but as none of them were on the brink of becoming a zombified bloodbag, they were all obviously able to follow the path of the light with no issues.
(Why was Yi Sang shaking so much over this? I made a mental note to follow up with him about it during our next chat.)
"Well then, an easy pass. No deterioration of eye coordination or focus. That's good. That means we can go directly to the final exam, and then we can all move along." If I didn't know any better, I'd say that the inspector looked nearly disappointed. She put the flashlight back in the pocket of her smock, replacing it with another handheld object.
The two enforcers came to her side, providing security from all angles. They readied their respective weapons.
The "final exam". What could it be? We had been lucky so far, but there were plenty of situations we wouldn't be able to weasel out of. Owing more favors to headquarters was something I wanted to avoid at all costs.
I decided to try to pull the authority card... just this once.
I stood up. <"I think that's enough.">
The enforcer with the wire loop took two steps forward, coming toe-to-toe with me. Their eye level was a whole head above mine.
"Sit," commanded a static-filtered voice.
I sat.
The inspector was unshaken by my meager display. With a flick of her wrist, she revealed a small knife. "Everyone aboard, if I can please have your attention?"
All eyes watched her, wondering what would happen now.
She pressed the knife to her arm, just enough to draw a few drops of bright red blood. She held the cut arm up high, making direct eye contact with each passenger on the bus in turn.
Everyone kept completely still, waiting.
Was this really the final "test"? Finally, a lucky break! Every single person on this bus has seen a hell a thousand times more bloody than this nearly every day since our journey began. If just a few drops of blood were enough to get Don Quixote to react, then we'd have to...
Well, there's no need to finish that thought.
"Hmm? Nothing? Really? Not a single one?" Sabrina raised an eyebrow. Her smile had finally faded. She wiped away the drops of blood with her opposite hand.
"All clear," she nodded.
At her signal the enforcers lowered their weapons and disembarked the bus. She scribbled away, filling out some kind of form.
"Apologies for the delay. Thank you for helping us keep our wonderful Nest bloodfiend free." She shook her head in disbelief. "I'm honestly surprised. My expectations are raised for our future collaborations, to say the least. Enjoy your stay."
--
Charon pulled Mephistopheles out of the holding area, and we began our long drive down a winding exit ramp and back to the main thoroughfare. All was quiet as the scenery outside slowly wound around and around. We had to keep any pithy comments we had to ourselves until we were well and truly clear of the inspection point... and also until Outis and Faust completed their sweep of the cabin.
"Clear, Executive Manager!" Outis reported, slipping a hand mirror back into her front jacket pocket.
"No evidence of tampering or recording devices detected," Faust concurred.
"Finally!" Rodya sighed. She sprawled out across her seat in a slump. "That inspector was really cramping our lovely bus atmosphere!"
"She could barely hold back her anticipation. She thought for sure that she was going to get an easy gold star for her performance report," Ishmael said. "She's probably cursing her luck in her fancy office right now."
"What kind of medical inspector wants to find people who are sick?" Sinclair wondered.
"A KPI-oriented one," Ishmael laughed, as though that explained everything.
"It's kind of fun!" Hong Lu said. "It's like we got away with something!"
<"Well... we did get away with something.">
"That's our lass. Didn't even flinch!" Heathcliff cheered.
"O-of course...!" Don Quixote accepted the praise. She still looked understandably shaken from the day's events.
<"Gee, despite all those rigorous test protocols, it never seemed like Vergilius was being considered for any extra scrutiny."> I tried to move everyone's attention away from her for a bit.
"It would be unprecedented for a Color to be held up at a Nest checkpoint for any reason," Meursault noted. "Such an occurrence would be reported directly to the Hana Association."
"Just one of the perks reserved for the big shots," Rodya rolled her eyes.
"...The inspector said there are no bloodfiends at all in Nest Y... Can that really be true?" Sinclair wondered aloud.
Don Quixote frowned, looking pensive. We both stared out the window at the approaching skyline of the Nest, as though an answer to a question like that might be found just outside.
Nest Y. The home of the corporation that had eliminated nearly every form of contagious disease as mankind once knew it. What form would the technology to achieve such a feat take?
"There's at least one now! Haha!" Heathcliff laughed in satisfaction, slapping the back of his seat.
<"Well... that was a lot for one afternoon. At least once we arrive, the rest of today will be free time for everyone.">
"Hmm... Don't get too excited, Manager Bud."
Through the back window, the checkpoint was now blessedly out of sight.
Then I looked out ahead.
When we finally rejoined the highway, the traffic was just as stopped as it was before.