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ridin' solo

Summary:

Max Mayfield (@MADMAX) to Will Byers (@willthewise): are u over wheeler yet u can be our third
willthewise: No :/
MADMAX: fucker

Lucas Sinclair (@sinclairlucas) to Will Byers (@willthewise): i'd treat you better than mike ever could
willthewise: I can't help who I fall in love with
sinclairlucas: pick me. choose me

Notes:

i don't know man i wrote this in like a day

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Max Mayfield (@MADMAX) to Will Byers (@willthewise): lucas looks so good today i hate it here

willthewise: He looks the same as he always does

MADMAX: wrong he looks 20% hotter than he did yesterday

MADMAX: god i think its that stupid letterman jacket. why is he still wearing that high school was like three years ago

MADMAX: why am i attracted to lucas sinclair

willthewise: It’s basic biology

willthewise: He's also your boyfriend?

MADMAX: i dont want a fucking science lecture

willthewise: What about basic facts

MADMAX: no

willthewise: Then I can’t give u a real answer

MADMAX: this is so annoying

willthewise: I know

MADMAX: if we were dating this wouldnt be a problem

MADMAX: we would be the ultimate power couple

willthewise: Oh I agree

willthewise: Too bad I'm gay :/

MADMAX: inconvenient

willthewise: Sorry I love u

MADMAX: tell wheeler hes an asshole

willthewise: ??? How did you know I was with him

MADMAX: fork in kitchen. now speak

 

Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels) to Max Mayfield (@MADMAX): WHY AM I CATCHING STRAYS

 

Max Mayfield (@MADMAX) to Lucas Sinclair (@sinclairlucas): just took a buzzfeed quiz on what delicious food pairing we compare to as a couple 

MADMAX: we got wine and cheese

sinclairlucas: what

sinclairlucas: i took that and we got pizza and ranch

MADMAX: so u took this quiz and u didnt tell me that u took it or what ur results were

sinclairlucas: um.

sinclairlucas: nope?

MADMAX: first of all i hate ranch

MADMAX: second of all i hate this relationship

sinclairlucas: yeah that's why i didn't tell you

MADMAX: whatever

sinclairlucas: also why are you taking a buzzfeed quiz is it 2015

MADMAX: u allegedly took it first. freak

MADMAX: i wish tho 💔 id be free

sinclairlucas: of what

sinclairlucas: of what max

 

▶️ See Mike Wheeler's listening history! … In My Room by Insane Clown Posse Cool About It by boygenius Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat

 

Max Mayfield (@MADMAX) to Will Byers (@willthewise): are u over wheeler yet u can be our third

willthewise: No :/

MADMAX: fucker

 

Lucas Sinclair (@sinclairlucas) to Will Byers (@willthewise): i'd treat you better than mike ever could

willthewise: I can't help who I fall in love with

sinclairlucas: pick me. choose me

 

Max Mayfield (@MADMAX) to powerpuff girls: sleepover tonight NOT optional

willthewise: It's movie night??

MADMAX: with who

willthewise: Mike

jhopper: Cancel.

MADMAX: bros before hoes

willthewise: Nobody says that anymore

MADMAX: i just did

 

Max Mayfield (@MADMAX) to the party: show of hands who says bros before hoes anymore

henders0n: i mean like ironically sure but not actually

mikewheels: no

willthewise: I rest my case

 

Max Mayfield (@MADMAX) to Lucas Sinclair (@sinclairlucas): back me up here or else

 

Lucas Sinclair (@sinclairlucas) to the party: i say that!

willthewise: Boooooo

mikewheels: booooooooooo

henders0n: booooooo

jhopper: Booooo

MADMAX: boooo 👎 👎

sinclairlucas: why are you booing me??? YOU told me to back you up!

MADMAX: crowd mentality and also now ur a snitch so thanks for that

 

@sinclairlucas: my gf is mad at me i hope i die

@MADMAX: bro get up

 

Max Mayfield (@MADMAX) to Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels): ur movie night is cancelled

mikewheels: you can't do that you weren't invited

MADMAX: so u hate women

mikewheels: I DIDNT'S AY THAT

MADMAX: ok so its cancelled

mikewheels: what the hell

mikewheels: WAIT AM I THE HOE?

mikewheels: MAX AM I THE HOE IN THIS SITUATION

mikewheels: WHO'S HOE AM I

mikewheels: I KNOW YOU'RE READING THESE

 

Jane Hopper (@jhopper) to Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels): Did you know snails can live up to 25 years depending on the species?

mikewheels: oh wow cool

mikewheels: why are you texting me facts about snails

jhopper: I saw it on a website labelled "Fun Snail Facts for Kids"

mikewheels: why are you on a website labelled fun snail facts for kids

jhopper: Holly sent it to me!

mikewheels: oh my god my baby sister still texts my ex.

jhopper: She likes me better

mikewheels: are you also at this sleepover max is having that my plans got cancelled for

jhopper: Yes sorry

jhopper: Cuddle with my brother some other time

mikewheels: ST OP

 

Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels) to Will Byers (@willthewise): sooooooo

mikewheels: are you free tomorrow we can do movie night tomorrow instead

willthewise: Wow you didn't even put up a fight for me?

mikewheels: what

willthewise: You folded so easy

willthewise: You don't love me :(

[ mikewheels is typing . . . ]

mikewheels: i do love y

mikewheels: of course i lo

[ mikewheels stopped typing. ]

willthewise: damn wheeler you choked huh lol

mikewheels: what

mikewheels: MAX?????

mikewheels: HOW ARE YOU HERE RIGHT NOW

willthewise: expert hacker skills

 

Will Byers (@willthewise) to Max Mayfield (@MADMAX): Stop hacking into my account

MADMAX: stop making it easy

willthewise: I don't???

MADMAX: stop logging into ur account on my ipad then

willthewise: That was one time!

MADMAX: and ur downfall

 

▶️ See Will Byers's listening history! … Little League by Conan Gray Vodka Cranberry by Conan Gray Class Clown by Conan Gray

 

Jane Hopper (@jhopper) to Will Byers (@willthewise): I'm dogsitting this weekend! Do you want to come?

jhopper: I can invite Mike too. We can walk him

jhopper: The dog. Not Mike.

willthewise: Never let Mike or Max see these text messages

jhopper: 🤐

 

Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels) to the four nations: hey is anybody free tn

sinclairlucas: why are you using this gc we haven't touched this thing in like a year

mikewheels: yes we have

henders0n: last message sent was literally over a year ago dude

henders0n: is this because of the sleepover we weren't invited to

willthewise: I mean I was invited

mikewheels: no that is completely unrelated maybe i just want to hang out with my best friends

sinclairlucas: ooooooo i'm telling el you don't think she's one of your best friends

mikewheels: NO

henders0n: he's messing with you

sinclairlucas: am not. i hit send

 

Jane Hopper (@jhopper) to Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels): 😭

mikewheels: HE'S LYING I DIDN'T SAY THAT

jhopper: He sent the screenshot

mikewheels: NO

 

Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels) to Will Byers (@willthewise): this is so dumb i miss you

 

@mikewheels: chat what does it mean if your best friend cancels on movie night to hang out with other friends and says bros before hoes when he does it

@MADMAX: did you mean to post that on this acct lol

@mikewheels: FUCK

 

Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels) to Will Byers (@willthewise): hahahahaha ignore that it was a joke lol

willthewise: Ignore what

mikewheels: exactly

willthewise: No seriously ignore what

 

▶️ See Dustin Henderson's listening history! … Enter Sandman by Metallica Under Pressure by Queen, David Bowie Across the Stars by John Williams

 

Dustin Henderson (@henders0n) to Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels): dude i can feel you moping from here. just come over

mikewheels: i'm not moping you're moping

henders0n: okay so sit in your apartment by yourself then see if i care

mikewheels: no wait i'm coming

mikewheels: i wish your cat would love me

henders0n: we can't all get what we want. bring food as tax

mikewheels: this economy sucks

 

Lucas Sinclair (@sinclairlucas) to the four nations: i see two of you bitches hanging out without me. where tf was my invite

mikewheels: literally scroll up

sinclairlucas: i'm coming

willthewise: This timing sucks???

mikewheels: i'm not the one splitting the party

willthewise: I didn't?

mikewheels: no it's just like we literally had plans and then you bailed on me to hang out with max and el so like you can't get mad at me for hanging out with lucas and dustin

willthewise: I never said I was mad

mikewheels: whatever man just saying like you can't get upset

willthewise: Okay

 

Lucas Sinclair (@sinclairlucas) to Dustin Henderson (@henders0n): talk him down before i get there i don't want to spend an entire night listening to him mope and yearn

henders0n: already on it man

henders0n: anybody else tired of the longing looks or is it just me

sinclairlucas: i can't take another week of it. are we just too woke

henders0n: no mike and will just don't know how to talk about their feelings

sinclairlucas: will's fine

henders0n: no mike just doesn't know how to talk about his feelings*

sinclairlucas: exactly

sinclairlucas: i'll bring extra snacks tho

henders0n: hell yeah

 

▶️ See Max Mayfield's listening history! … Never Ending Story by Limahl Never Ending Story by Limahl Never Ending Story by Limahl

 

Dustin Henderson (@henders0n) to Max Mayfield (@MADMAX): i'm serious i'll kill you

 

Jane Hopper (@jhopper) to Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels): There's a species of snail that can take down a starfish

mikewheels: cool

jhopper: The world's smallest snail can fit through the eye of a needle!

mikewheels: is anybody else getting these snail facts or do you just exist to torture me

jhopper: Dustin says you're moping

mikewheels: dustin is a snitch and a liar and an asshole and his cat hates me

jhopper: Oh!

mikewheels: i just don't really understand why MY plans had to get cancelled for you guys to hang out

jhopper: You're upset because it was plans with Will?

mikewheels: no i'm upset because it was stuff i was looking forward to and then max does what she always does and steps in and controls the situation and she did this when we were dating too and the movie night i was looking forward to all day gets flipped upside down

mikewheels: it's always me she does this shit to not anyone else in the party

jhopper: Do you want her to apologize?

mikewheels: she's not going to mean it if she does

mikewheels: it's fine it's not a big deal

jhopper: Mike.

jhopper: If it feels big to you, then it is big, and it is important. So it's worth talking about. Max will care, and she will mean it. You just have to be honest about it.

mikewheels: oh so the one thing i hate doing. cool

jhopper: I know. It's scary. But sometimes being comfortable means having to do something uncomfortable first.

mikewheels: you're like scarily emotionally intelligent has anyone ever told you that

jhopper: Yes. Many times.

 

▶️ See Jane Hopper's listening history! … Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles My Man on Willpower by Sabrina Carpenter hope ur ok by Olivia Rodrigo

 

Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels) to Max Mayfield (@MADMAX): hey can i just be a bitch for five minutes and then we never talk about this again

MADMAX: ur always a bitch but continue

mikewheels: nvm

MADMAX: ugh

MADMAX: yes mike this is a safe space. speak

mikewheels: ok

mikewheels: it's just like. i had a shitty day and i was looking forward to hanging out with will tonight and then you're in dms kind of cancelling the plans so that you can steal him and that kinda sucked

mikewheels: and maybe i should talk to will about this too but you know he always just goes along with what people say because he wants to make everyone happy all the time and he knows i'm never actually mad at him which is true but that doesn't mean i'm not like hurt about it or whatever

mikewheels: so when you guys wanna do your powerpuff thing or whatever that's fine but maybe like ask if it's okay to reschedule instead of just cancel

mikewheels: because i love hanging out with dustin and lucas but it's not the same and you know that it's not the same and you are literally the only person i have admitted that to willingly so like.

mikewheels: yeah. whatever

MADMAX: oh fuck are u actually upset

mikewheels: ??? no i just made all of that up to fuck with you

mikewheels: fucking. yeah max i'm just feeling a little weird about it and i'm trying to be honest about it

mikewheels: whatever forget it

MADMAX: no fucker hold on

MADMAX: sorry ur not really honest about shit i meant it when i said this was a safe space

MADMAX: look dude i guess i just didnt think it was that big of a deal. and normally u dont mind when its last minute like this. like i just assume u and will have plans every day so i didnt think abt it like that

mikewheels: yeah normally it's fine today was just shittier than usual so i guess i'm taking it worse than usual haha

MADMAX: ill send him over

mikewheels: what no

mikewheels: he's like. his own person you don't have to send him to me. and i'm with dustin and lucas so i'm fine do your sleepover thing

MADMAX: next time ill ask before i bully people into cancelling whatever else they have going on

MADMAX: u know ur one of my best friends right

mikewheels: yeah i know

MADMAX: im serious.

mikewheels: i said i know

MADMAX: so tell me shit when u think i need to know it so i dont do shit that hurts u

mikewheels: okay

 

Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels) to Will Byers (@willthewise): i miss you

mikewheels: sorry if that's stupid

willthewise: It's not stupid

willthewise: Are we okay?

mikewheels: yeah sorry i just got in my head about stuff

willthewise: Okay

mikewheels: we're good though

willthewise: It's okay if we're not. I should have told Max that I didn't want to cancel on you

mikewheels: she's like scary convincing i don't blame you

mikewheels: and it's cool. we're hanging out tomorrow

willthewise: Maybe I wanted to hang out tonight and tomorrow

willthewise: As long as you don't get sick of me haha

mikewheels: will i could spend literally every single minute of my life with you forever and never get sick of you

[ willthewise is typing . . . ]

[ willthewise stopped typing. ]

mikewheels: sorry was that too

mikewheels: no i just meant like

mikewheels: and like

mikewheels: maybe i want to. if you want to. that would be cool.

[ willthewise is typing . . . ]

[ willthewise stopped typing. ]

mikewheels: please say something lmao

willthewise: Sorry can you be like a little more straightforward on what you're saying I don't want to misunderstand anything

mikewheels: you're not misunderstanding

willthewise: No I'm pretty sure I am so can you just explain it to me

mikewheels: i feel like i'm gonna throw up and i don't actually want to

mikewheels: i was gonna tell you, tonight. i was gonna make you watch empire strikes back with me and i was gonna make a joke about han and leia except we're really like han and luke because el is for sure leia but i was gonna remind you about that time mark hamill said harrison ford gave him a kiss in an unused scene and then i was gonna say something else i don't know i hadn't gotten that far but the point is that i was gonna try and tell you tonight and now you're with max and el which is fine because apparently i'm your hoe so like i guess i don't need to figure out what else i was gonna say and now you know i'm thinking about fucking han solo and luke skywalker kissing except it's you and me and dustin's cat is literally plotting my murder so you can imagine my misery

willthewise: You're my what

mikewheels: hoe

mikewheels: max said bros before hoes. which makes me the hoe

willthewise: Oh my god

 

Max Mayfield (@MADMAX) to Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels): whatever ur texting him just made him bright fucking red btw

mikewheels: how do you know we're texting

MADMAX: he has a mike face u two are honestly pathetic its adorable

mikewheels: oh my god fuck off

 

Max Mayfield (@MADMAX) to Lucas Sinclair (@sinclairlucas): hey i love u

sinclairlucas: who are you and what have you done with my beautiful girlfriend

MADMAX: god forbid a girl get emotionally vulnerable every once in a while

sinclairlucas: i love you too

MADMAX: im aware

sinclairlucas: is this related to mike having his will face on right now

MADMAX: maybe

sinclairlucas: he doesn't share we'll never get will to ourselves 💔

MADMAX: whatever. let them be happy ig

 

▶️ See Lucas Sinclair's listening history! … Ma Meilleure Ennemie by Stromae, Pomme Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) by Kate Bush St. Chroma (feat. Daniel Caesar) by Tyler, The Creator

 

Mike Wheeler (@mikewheels) to Will Byers (@willthewise): you totally don't have to say anything back to that by the way don't feel like you have to

willthewise: I'm trying to think of something to match that

mikewheels: anything you say would match that

willthewise: You just called me Luke Skywalker and the only thing I can think of right now is "you're my hoe"

mikewheels: i love you

mikewheels: help me obi juan whoever the fuck you are… you're my only ho

willthewise: What if we watch Empire Strikes Back tomorrow

willthewise: And you give me your speech

willthewise: And I'll give you mine

mikewheels: you don't have to think up a speech just because i have half of one

willthewise: I've been thinking about kissing you for years Mike Wheeler I don't need to think about a speech I already have one

mikewheels: jesus christ i have to kill max for keeping us apart tonight

willthewise: So? Tomorrow?

mikewheels: yes yeah tomorrow i'll see you tomorrow 💙

willthewise: 💛

Notes:

will not lie to you i have like at least two more of these up my sleeve this is a sickness