Work Text:
@mikeonthebike
i love my boss being a physical media elitist anti social media prick
@ItsDonna
I’m gonna show this to him.
@mikeonthebike
don’t u dARE-
—
@mikeonthebike
i got fired for the third time this week :(
@zanelady
lmao this means drinks on you tonight
—
The Fuck Harvey Specter Groupchat
kyan: ohhhh my god did y’all see harvey at the fundraiser???
kyan: [one image attached]
kyan: jesus fuck why is he so hot, it’s unfair
donna: You are all welcome, I told him to wear that suit.
mike: donna I love you
mike: réné you need to take it down a notch atp i’m gonna get a heart attack looking at those thighs
réné: i aim to please, mon chère
miranda: who took those pictures and do they have more??
donna: [two images attached]
miranda: I love you.
—
@mikeonthebike
i only worked 11 hours today, feels like a vacation *cries*
@mikeonthebike
all this work and i'm not even getting dicked down for it
—
The Fuck Harvey Specter Groupchat
scottie: fuck harvey specter
donna: Fuck him.
kyan: agreed
rachel: yup
mike: i’m trying
—
@zanelady212
there’s nothing like the homo erotic tension between your best friend and his boss for a little work place gossip
@ItsDonna
I saw them eye fucking for 10 minutes. I loved every second of it.
—
fired and rehired club
donna: Drinks tonight? I got Harvey’s card.
rachel: oh god yes please, I am so done
rachel: Same bar as last time?
donna: Of course.
mike: thank you Queen Donna
donna: Perfect. See you two at nine.
—
@mikeonthebike
drunk at the bar thinking about how I want my boss to bend me over and call me his puppy
@zanelady212
mike he already calls you his puppy at work.
@mikeonthebike
he didn’t today :((((
—
Direct Chat
rachel: hey Mike, Donna just sent me this
rachel: [a shaky video of Mike drunk at the bar, leaning onto Rachel for stability who seems just as inebriated.
“you don’t understand… I get a little bit dumb every time he calls me good boy or puppy or whatever he comes up with. I need this man to take me home, fuck me stupid and talk absolute filth while doing so. You think he’s a talker in bed? I bet he’s the type to be all quiet, but I swear I can annoy him into talking just so I’d shut up.”
“If that ever happens take a video for me”]
rachel: …
rachl: I don’t remember that part of the evening.
mike: …
mike: well
mike: me neither
rachel: So it never happened?
mike: yes.
mike: or…
mike: it didn’t until it does?
rachel: Deal.
—
The Fuck Harvey Specter Groupchat
scottie: harvey is such an asshole
scottie: like why.
scottie: just why.
rachel: oh no, what did he do this time?
scottie: be an absolute smartass, as usual
scottie: can this man be wrong once in his life
donna: He is quite often, but men have this baffling ability to think they are always right at all times. And he mastered it.
mike: speak on it girl
donna: You are included in that statement.
mike: :((
—
@mikeonthebike
one co-worker has been telling my other co-workers that I’m into men and on one side it's extremely funny because everyone knows that and on the other side i am mad about it.
@mikeonthebike
like, get out of my business. what are you, five?
@mikeonthebike
>:(
@HaroldTheGlarold
I swear it wasn't me.
@zanelady212
Everyone knows it wasn't you, Harold.
@HaroldTheGlarold
oh okay, good.
—
The Fuck Harvey Specter Groupchat
mike: is it possible to love and hate your boss at the same time?
rachel: why are you even asking, this is what the groupchat is for.
mike: rachel don’t be mean i’m having another gay crisis over him
rachel: i hope you heard my sigh three rooms over.
donna: Don’t worry, even I did.
mike: :((
scottie: my god he really acts like a puppy, I get it now.
—
@mikeonthebike
be friends with the scary women in your life.
@ItsDonna
:)
@mikeonthebike
that’s exactly what i mean. what the fuck does this even mean. donna i’m scared. i’m getting you a big frappucino with extra cream tmrw. for my own safety.
—
@mikeonthebike
never in my life did i expect to love and hate my job so much. biggest scam ever.