Chapter Text
Simon had been meaning to catch up on his assignments for photography, his depression often taking away his motivation to do anything, let alone schoolwork, your in a similar situation but with your art classes and he knows it. Simons always been a fan of your drawings, he loved watching you make lines on a page or that old cracked ipad into something beautiful, though he’d never say anything about it, as much as he does do his best to confront his anxiety, he wasnt quite ready for this one. That being said, doesn’t mean hes not willing to work towards it. The pair of you sit at your table in your art classroom, the table not quite at the back but far enough away from the louder students, you have your earbuds in, blasting whatever was on your ipod while trying to copy a reference photo of a landscape for your assignment but you aren’t quite feeling it. Simon leans over, just far enough to see your struggle with the reference you had, watching for a moment before speaking up. His voice was quiet and coy at first, “We could check out that lake near the abandoned asylum?” You turn your attention to him, not hearing him past your deafening music, forcing him to repeat himself after taking one of the buds out. Hes much more quiet this time, the anxiety of asking had finally set in. “Theres a lake, near an abandoned asylum, I wanted to go there for my photography assignment”
“Like, today?” You take a moment to think about the distance between the school to the old hospital after asking, how much money you had for train fairs. It seemed pretty reasonable. “Yeah, I’m not really getting anywhere with the landscape photos they gave out…” you sounded disappointed, sighing at the end of your sentence, you look back down at your sheet for a second, emphasising your point. “Have you already handed in your art assignment?” Simon just nods shallowly, he got it done during class time while you were off on a skipping spree, leaving him with no distractions. The rest of the classes dragged on, it felt like hitting your head into a wall, especially after giving yourself that much freedom.
Finally, your final class ends, you pick yourself up from your seat and make your way to the subway station. You and simon normally see eachother there while going home, that is, if hes not walking around or if it wasnt to crowded and lucky for you, today was a less crowded day. He makes his way to the platform, finding you quick and standing beside you for a while before your train arrives. It pulls into the station, you lead simon to the doors of one of the carts, he automatically follows you, making sure to stay closeby. “Could we stop by my house before we go?” His voice was almost drowned out from the chatter of people moving on and off of the train.
“Yeah, what for?”
“Picking up my camera”
You nod, curiosity satisfied. Youve only been over once before, he lives with his mother whos a lovely woman. Your not to sure about his dad, but according to simon, hes put of the picture and for the better. He sits beside you on the isle, leaving you to lean on the wall and people passing simon during the trip to get off, leaving you both almost alone, his thigh touching yours. For a moment its all you can think about before the train chimes, interrupting your focus on the touch and announcing that they’d be arriving in kirkville in just a moment.
The train stops with its screech, Simon stands to let you out, slinging that green messenger bag over his shoulder, one almost identical to yours if not for the colour and patches scattered all over it. He carried it with him almost everywhere. He walks down the isles of seats, leading you to the door, you lived closer to the school so you where basically lost around here if not for your visit to his house, and even that was long enough ago to not know your way around. You followed him through the station and to his house, he fumbles with his keys for a moment before letting you inside. His home was empty, nobody here besides you at him, his mum out at work. “I’ll just be a second” Simon pushes past you after closing the door, making his way to his room, leaving you awkwardly standing in the lounge alone. Youve never been in his room, he was to embarrassed by his mess, his rot. The room really being a reflection of his mind. He steps inside, collecting his camera from the hook of his door, where he hangs his bag when he arrives home. He dosent let himself be slow enough to when you peek inside to find him. He leaves his room and drops the camera over his neck, layering it above his bag to see you, standing in the middle of the house, just as awkward as when he left you there. “You couldve sat down” he says before walking past and back to the door, looking behind him to check if you were following.
He opens the door and you step back outside, turning to speak to him, “You were only gonna be quick.”
“Yeah.” He gets his keys back out, locking the door behind him. He was warming up to you being a guest at his house, even if it was only for a short while. Maybe he’ll have you over for longer soon.
You make your way with simon beside you, down a few streets before you get to the railway, following it down to the forrest, a route there that he only recently found, what a treat! You could both get lost now!
The walk was long, tiring. Making your way through thick terrain, it was a little scary, you wouldnt normally go walking through random forests and abandoned homes, it left you on edge until you decided it was okay for you to hold the sleeve of Simons hoodie before finally making your way to the lake. . Finally. Simon seemed tense, especially since you started to hold him, but its not like he didnt like it. Maybe he was more just nervous to be touched after so long? You dont let go until you arrive, he dosent announce it, just lets you see
“Nice enough to draw?” He asks, lifting his camera to adjust the settings so he could start taking pictures, finally pulling his arm away from your hand, mourning the loss of your touch.
“Yeah, much nicer than the stock photos they give out in class” you walk closer to the dock, trying to find an angle you wanted to draw from, finally deciding on one and sitting on the old wood of the edge of the dock, your feet dangling down as you dig in your bag for an a4 sketchbook, a bit larger to what you normally draw in, and empty other than the stuff you’ve done for class. All your personal artwork is at home or scattered in your notebooks.
You focus for a while, Simon doing his own thing nearby, clicking photos but remaining close enough for you to not feel abandoned but, also because he just liked being around you. It wasnt the same as Sophie, your presence felt… understanding instead of just supportive like hers did. He catches his thinking, turning it back to the task at hand, photography, right! Yes! Not how pretty you looked sitting on the dock out in the cold! Focus Simon! Focus!
A good half hour into your drawing, it still didnt feel right, something just wasnt clicking. Simon had well since finished and come to sit beside you, just watching as you draw. He really finds it entertaining, seeing other peoples drawing process… seeing your drawing process, even while you where struggling to be happy with what you create. His gaze was stuck on it, on you. Maybe thats what he was actually looking at the whole time in classes.
Snow starts to fall, its not an issue for a while until it starts getting to cold. You sigh a visible breath before looking over at Simon, you felt bad inviting yourself to his house again, especially with how out of place you feel there. Youll warm up to it eventually, for now you decide its just best to head home, the train will be warm at least! “Should we head back??” Simon hesitated for a moment, having been caught staring, he nods and stands up, playing it off smoothly, he thought he was smooth with it anyways.
“Yeah, the snow piles up really bad out here” he speaks before your given a chance to ask what he was looking at. Smooth, simon. Real smooth. You chalk it up to a one off, he was probably really into the birds across the lake or something. He stands up, walking half down the dock before waiting for you, watching as you stuff your things back into your bag. “Did you get to finish?”
“Yeah… mostly, I’m just not happy with it yet.”
“When are you ever happy with anything?” He retorts, not in a rude way, but sarcastically, playing into the humour you shared even if not often. “When were on the train, you can reference some of my photos if youd like?”
You dont have to think about it, words immediately spilling from your mouth, its not often you get to see his photos without having to stalk his Tumblr “Yes please”
“Enthusiastic for once, thats new..” he rolls his eyes, his voice is playful, even if he didnt look it. You were allready back at the railway by now, the scary part being over thanks to simon distracting you with his words. He was a little disappointed you didnt hold him again though…
You reach the train station before you both freeze to death, standing closer than before for warmth, waiting for the train again together just like before, the only difference being the distance between you two and how empty it was. No more people in a rush home from work or school, just you and simon freezing on the platform together and a few business people. It was nice, very grounding. The train pulls up and you both step on it, sitting on similar seats as before, Simon on the isle and you against the wall. You take a moment to warm up properly before simon looks through his camera, finding the photo closest to the angle you were sitting at. He tilts the camera screen towards you, you perk up and grab it, pulling simon closer by the straps of the camera in the process, his chest pressed to your shoulder. Simon looked a little embarrassed, flustered even, even if nobody else was on the train to see him so close to you. He doesn’t dare say anything, move, push you off or away, just appreciates the closeness for a moment before you let him go. And you do, your grip easing up as you start to draw again, your lines jittery from the train moving. It’s enough to irritate you, but not to stop you from finishing. This time, it felt more like it was naturally coming to you, you didnt hate it as much now you found a reference you actually liked. It felt more human than trying to draw from the scene itself or from those shitty stock photos everyones seen hundreds of times before, more unique. Maybe just having a peace of simon in it made it easier for you. You scribble in enough detail for you to be happy with before the train stops at the station closest to your home in Sutherland.
You fully let go of his camera as the train stops, simon stands when you let go, watching as you pack your stuff again before following, you lead this time. Leading him all the way back to your house before thanking him. “You didnt have to walk me home, thank you though”
“No worries.. its getting dark anyways”
“Text me when your home” You demand before holding out a cold hand for his phone. Simon is hesitant, stumbling it out of his pocket before setting it in your hand. You punch in your number before looking back up at him. “Thank you, for walking me home”
He just nods, embarrassed by the praise, he didnt know how to accept compliments since he almost never received them. He gets off your porch, watching you walk inside your house before heading home in the cold. You watch him from the window, down the street, just to make sure hes okay. Waiting for him to text you.
You take a shower to warm up, you come back to your room to your phone peeping. Just the words “I’m home” on the screen, it must be Simon, who else?? Duhh.
You text back “I hope the walk home wasnt to cold :P”
You wait a while before you get your next notification “Im warming up now :)”
“Glad to hear” you text back before putting your phone down and getting your pajamas on, hanging up your towel and grabbing your laptop to of course, do your nightly internet stalking routine. Checking the first three accounts, one of the guys you had a crush on in highschool who ended up just bullying you, Sophie and now, Simons Tumblr. He posted the photo you took reference from with a caption, he dosent normally do captions. “Went on a walk with my friend today to finish an assignment :)”
Thats a positive note to go to bed on… once your done doom scrolling at least!