Chapter Text
“I’m not leaving him behind!”
Pomni tugged away at Ragatha’s grasp, which was holding her in place only a few feet from the exit door ahead of them. Gangle was already gone, and Zooble was about to follow her out.
“We need to go, Pomni!” Ragatha cried, her eyes full of tears. “He’s…abstracting…it’s too late.”
“He’s the one who wanted this,” Zooble added, their voice shaking, uncertain. “Remember the buttons? The stupid Abel adventure?”
“I need to try!” Pomni persisted, yanking her hand away. “Trust me, I’ll be right out once I have him.”
Ragatha’s tears continued to fall as she seemed to look past Pomni towards the circus, which was glitching and falling apart.
Nobody knew what to expect when they shut down Caine- but time was of the essence now.
“I’ll go with you,” Kinger offered to Pomni, before turning towards Ragatha and Zooble. “You two go on ahead, I’ll see to it that Pomni gets out of here.”
Ragatha and Zooble exchanged hesitant glances before nodding.
“See ya on the other side…I hope.” Zooble muttered with a nervous smile before walking through the exit door, fading into the shining white light.
“Good luck, both of you,” Ragatha whimpered. “I…I’ll see you both soon.”
With that, Pomni and Kinger were alone.
As the two of them raced through the shattering digital circus, Pomni thought back on everything that had transpired. They had Kinger into a dark room and learned from him how to shut down Caine, giving them full access to the exit.
Little did they know that destroying Caine meant destroying the circus…as well as releasing all the abstractions from the cellar. They ran freely around the crumbling textures now, and Pomni could only hope that none of them felt pain.
Once the exit was ready, Pomni and Ragatha had run to Jax’s room. She had been concerned about him, he had been isolating himself and seemed to have lost his typical charm, if it could be called that, after the Abel adventure.
But when they opened his door, he was abstracting. The inky blackness spread across his chest with colorful eyes glaring in every direction. Really shitty timing.
Ragatha dragged her away before she could even process.
And now she was back, with Kinger, in hopes they could save him at the last moment. She opened the door only for it to glitch away into oblivion.
Jax was sprawled on the floor, the dark jagged edges on his chest had spread further, the eyes darting even more furiously than they had previously. His left leg was also starting to be consumed by the abstraction.
She ran to him, falling to her knees beside him. “We are getting out of here, Jax!”
“D-D-Don’t lie t-t-t-t-to me,” He croaked out in response, looking away from the jester. “W-W-We can’t l-l-l-l-leave.”
“It’s true,” Kinger stated, approaching him from the other side. “But we need to go now.”
Jax didn’t respond, so Pomni and Kinger exchanged a knowing glance before picking him up together, tossing his arms over their shoulders.
They half ran, half stumbled back through the circus towards the exit. The abstraction occasionally stabbing them and causing glitching pain on their digital bodies.
The door was in sight, when one of the abstractions from the cellar blocked the way. It didn’t attack them, only looking down at them with a gaze of wonder.
“Hello, darling,” Kinger said softly. “I’m here now, I’m not leaving.”
“What?” Pomni shouted. “Kinger, no!”
“It’s going to be okay Pomni,” Kinger reassured, not looking away from his wife. “You have your family, and now I have mine.”
Then Pomni, and maybe Jax, heard Kinger’s final words:
“Find each other…love each other.”
Pomni sobbed, and readjusted Jax next to her, before dragging them both closer to the exit. Once she was a few feet from it, she stumbled and fell.
“I-I-I-It’s r-r-r-real…” Jax breathed.
“So…close…” Pomni whimpered, reaching out an arm towards the swirling portal that filled out the doorframe.
Jax stared at the exit, then darted his eyes towards Pomni. During his time in the circus, he had done many horrid things. Hurt people, betrayed people. He had committed unforgivable acts and now the world was throwing cruel irony in his face.
He had already accepted his fate. It’s why he was abstracting in the first place.
But maybe he could do one good thing first.
Running on nothing but adrenaline and desperation, he brought himself to his feet- the abstraction stabbed away at his virtual body. It was a pain he had never felt before, not in the circus or in real life. He grabbed Pomni by the arm.
“What are you doing?”
He ignored her, dragging her limp, tired body along.
“Jax…no! No, no, no, no, stop!” Pomni tried to fight, tugging her arm that was in his grasp, but exhaustion was winning that battle. “Please don’t leave me again!”
“Go live your life, Pom-Pom.” Jax smiled before pulling and tossing Pomni through the exit, her begging and screaming drowned out as she faded away.
Then he was alone. He fell to his knees, staring at the exit. To his surprise, at that moment, all he wanted was to see her again.
So he took a gamble: he looked back once more and saw Kinger holding his hands out to his wife. He saw the other abstractions running about.
Kaufmo was there.
Ribbit was there.
He could join them. He wanted to join them. He was so close to joining them.
And yet…
Pomni…
He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting the tears.
“I’m sorry, Ribbit.”
Then he crawled through the exit he was certain never existed.
As he crossed the threshold, he was surrounded by fractal silver and white light that blinded him. He felt himself fade away- similar to the feeling of slowly waking up after a really long nap.
That is when he realized something very important: he was wrong, abstracting wasn’t the worst pain he had ever felt.
This was.
When he woke up, he only saw darkness. He could feel the clunky, heavy headset still on his face. That wasn’t what hurt though, no.
The one thing nobody knew about the circus was that abstraction does affect your human body, not just your avatar.
He couldn’t see anything, but he could feel the areas on his chest and leg where the abstraction had affected him were burning his real, human body. It was a raw, stinging pain, as if he had been hit by a whip that was doused in flames.
Though he was screaming through the pain, he could hear a flurry of doctors surrounding him and moving around frantically. Saying words and medical terms he couldn’t even begin to process.
Eventually, the pain took over everything else and he began to feel dizzy before falling back into true darkness.
It took a few days for him to fully wake up- when he did the headset was gone. He blinked a few times and let his eyes adjust to his surroundings. His vision was blurry, but he could tell he was in a hospital room. He could hear the beeps and shuffle of people in the distance, though he was alone in the room.
He looked down at his arm- no longer purple but the longer forgotten human arm that was him. There were various needles and IVs…everywhere. It made him feel sick.
How long had he been in this room? He hadn’t been in the real world since 2017, and he was terrified to find out what he had missed.
Eventually, a female nurse walked in carrying a tray of various medical tools. When she looked up and saw that he was awake, she gasped and rushed away.
A few moments later, a man in a tan suit and a doctor walked into the room and pulled up a chair next to his bedside. He said nothing, only waiting for the headache that this was bound to be.
“Hello there, my name is Dr. Torres,” The doctor said softly, delicately, as if everything would go to shit at any moment's notice. “You have been asleep for a long time, can you speak?”
He swallowed, realizing there were a million aspects to this he had never once considered.
“Yes…I can speak…” His voice was hoarse, quiet. It was admittedly painful to say even those four words.
“That’s good,” Dr. Torres smiled. “The more you do it, the easier it will become.”
“I’m sure you have a lot of questions,” The man in the tan suit said. “I want to promise you that we are actively investigating-”
“One thing at a time, Detective Morgan,” Torres interrupted. “Can you tell me your name?”
His name. He knew it now. How did that even work?
“Felix…” Why did it feel so foreign. “Felix Aquino.”
The doctor nodded. “Great, Mr. Aquino, do you know what happened to you?”
“The…headset…” Jax, no, Felix responded. “What year…”
“You have been asleep for nearly nine years, Felix,” The man in the tan suit, Detective Morgan, explained. “It is currently 2025. We are still making sense of things, like the nature of the digital space you were stuck in, but somehow the headset has essentially frozen any aging. You are still 22 years old.”
Felix did not respond, only stared ahead, until something more important came to his mind.
“There were others…”
The two men shifted uncomfortably. Detective Morgan cleared his throat.
“There are other survivors, Felix, but this matter is very…complicated,” He interlocked his fingers, meeting Felix in the eyes. “Unfortunately, I cannot disclose the private details of the other victims of C&A.”
“What?” Felix leveraged his arm against the bed, his face twisting in anger as he tried to lift himself up, only to be met with sharp pain across his torso where his burns were still healing, causing him to collapse back onto the bed with a wince.
“Please, Mr. Aquino…” Dr. Torres insisted. “You can’t move, not yet. You will need to stay here to recover for at least a few weeks.”
Felix unwillingly let out a sad pathetic noise before looking in the other direction.
“I promise you that you are not the only one asking, Felix,” The detective elaborated. “I am advocating all I can, but I don’t make these decisions.”
Felix simply nodded, trying not to let any tears fall.
“In somewhat brighter news,” Morgan continued. “This case is…old. Over a decade old, and the company behind the headsets has long since been held accountable. The creators have been in jail for a long time and will be for the rest of their lives.”
He didn’t really care. It didn’t matter what happened to them. The circus was gone- though he does wish he could have a few choice words with the minds behind that Hell hole.
Morgan sighed. “Part of this, of course, is a huge payout from the lawsuit.”
This caused Felix to perk up a bit.
“The civil settlement is divided amongst the survivors and the deceased’s family.”
Surely, it wasn’t that much money.
“How mu-”
“$10 Million.”
He must have made a weird face, because the detective continued speaking quickly.
“I apologize, I know this is a lot to process,” Morgan took a deep breath. “Rest assured we have all been waiting for all of you to wake up for sometime, so we have prepared everything you may need to re-adjust into society.”
The detective and the doctor continued to speak for a while, explaining various things that spun around Felix’s head.
The money. The world. His injuries.
It all seemed inconsequential.
He just wanted to see Pomni again.
The first week of recovery was boring, being stuck in the bed staring at the TV showing old reruns of sitcoms he never particularly cared for.
It didn’t take long for him to get curious. Curious about the world- about what new games had released, movies he had missed, and apparently an entire pandemic. He didn’t even know that was possible anymore.
Detective Morgan visited every few days, info-dumping about important events over the years he had been gone. Presidents, technological advancements, major world events.
Stuff he didn’t care about.
He asked for a computer, a phone, some sort of freedom to try and find the one person he could thank for still being here.
They said it would be too much at once. He felt it would never be enough.
At some point they did take him to a mirror so he could see himself after so long. He found it strange how he had to refamiliarize himself with his own body. His eyes looked tired, but that wasn’t unusual even before the circus. He was still tall and lanky with a stupid smile, some things never change, even in the digital world. His hair had grown long and was the color of dirt, falling over his face. His skin was copper brown, aside from his scars, which were still pink with pain.
He needed to add some purple somewhere eventually.
The second week was frustrating. The second-degree burns over his body were healing quickly thanks to being literally trapped in a hospital, but that was only the tip of the iceberg.
Being in a coma for so long had weakened his body, so they were slowly introducing physical therapy as well. At points it made him miss the circus. Sure, he looked like a stupid purple rabbit, but at least he was physically capable.
He couldn’t walk without holding onto guard rails, the nurses and doctors were patronizing the entire time. Offering hollow encouragement that he knew held no meaning.
He blocked them out and thought of Pomni. It helped him progress more than any doctor could. They began to praise him for bouncing back so quickly, but he knew he only had her to thank for the motivation to move forward.
He didn’t talk much, even though they encouraged him too. He spent most of his time reflecting and thinking about the circus. He had made many mistakes under the firm belief that nothing would ever be real again, and now everything was real. It was a belief he was ready to die for, leaving everything including Pomni behind.
Detective Morgan was aware that he and the other victims were living in a digital space, but he didn’t seem to know any of the details beyond that. C&A had been effective at keeping everything hidden away, and apparently intended on dying with the information.
Felix struggled talking about the circus. Whenever he tried to explain everything to Morgan, he found his chest tightening- the familiar pangs of panic attacks that haunted him before and during his time in the digital world. Because of this, Felix couldn’t even bring himself to reveal his fictional name, Jax, or his persona, a purple rabbit, or even tell him about Caine.
Detective Morgan was understanding, but Felix could tell he was frustrated. It made him wonder if the others were experiencing similar difficulties.
By week three he could walk again, or rather, he could hobble. Everyone said it was a miracle, Detective Morgan said it was due to the nature of the headset. Apparently recovering quickly was a common theme, and he had actually taken longer due to his burns.
Now, at the one month mark, he was laying in the familiar hospital bed with Morgan by his side for a typical visit. Over the weeks, Morgan had started to see Felix’s humorous nature.
“Doc says maybe another month or so,” Detective Morgan clapped his hands together. “You won’t start avoiding me, right?”
“Maybe I wouldn’t if you hadn’t left me here as torture,” Felix joked. “Like, c’mon can I get a Switch or something? I never got a chance to get one.”
“Haven’t you had enough video games for one lifetime?”
Felix simply scoffed, changing the topic immediately. “Any news about the others?”
It was a question he asked every time the detective came around, and every time there was some sort of deflection or excuse. Apparently some of the survivors' families were particularly fussy about their loved one meeting with a stranger that was linked to the entire event. The higher ups at the agency Morgan worked for thus decided to keep each case separated.
“Actually, I do have something that might interest you.” Detective Morgan explained carefully. Felix immediately whipped his head around, his eyes lighting up.
“There is one other C&A victim in this hospital, the others are…elsewhere…but there is one here.”
“Where? Who is it!” Felix demanded, emotion welling up in his chest.
”Please be Pomni.”
“I’m not sure, unfortunately,” Detective Morgan continued. “Like you, many victims struggle to talk about the traumas endured under the headset.”
“Can I…?”
“If you would like to, we can arrange it,” The detective seemed nervous, like Felix might actually decline. “I actually just finished discussing with the victim and received approval.”
“Yes.” Felix answered immediately. He knew it might not be Pomni, but he would take anything at this point, even Ragatha. Just anyone who could understand.
That is, if they could ever forgive him.
“That’s great,” Detective Morgan smiled with relief. “I think this will be really good for both of you, bonds can really help with healing.”
Felix laughed nervously. “Yeah…healing…”
”I hope he won’t regret this later…”
After that, Morgan left the room to go make arrangements. Felix waited anxiously in his bed, fiddling his fingers until Morgan returned with Dr. Torres.
They walked with him, slowly, to a private room with two chairs. Felix had been the first to arrive. As he sat in the chair, he felt as though he were about to be interrogated for a crime…maybe he was. There was a window where Torres and Morgan were waiting, allowing privacy while still keeping a watchful eye. Perhaps they had their own concerns about what two survivors of a mystery coma world might do.
After a few painfully long moments of silence, the door opened over more. He gripped his hospital gown in anticipation before turning in his chair to finally see who it was he was being reunited with.
It wasn’t Pomni. No, this was definitely not Pomni.
The first thing Felix noticed about them was the tattoos- scattered all over their pale milky skin. Their dusty blonde hair was choppy, as if someone had hacked away at it with a knife. Their face seemed to set in instant frustration as soon as they saw Felix.
This was…
“Zooble…”
Zooble said nothing, simply staring down at Felix with an expression that was definitely fueled by anger, but also something else that neither of them really understood. A confusing emotion.
Felix stared back, not with anger, but with desperation.
Then Zooble surged forward, fist pulled back before swinging forward and connecting with Felix’s jaw, sending him tumbling off the chair onto the floor. The impact sent shocks of pain through his wounds. He winced before rolling onto his back and looking up at Zooble.
Detective Morgan instantly ran into the room, ready to separate them, but Felix put up a hand and gave him a look, letting him know he had it under control. To his relief, Morgan backed off.
“Fuck you, Jax!” Zooble spat.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’ve been waiting a long time to say that.”
“Of course it’s you!” They continued, tossing their hands up in disbelief. “It just had to be you! God, I hate your guts!”
Felix said nothing, allowing Zooble to say their piece.
“If Pomni is still stuck there because of you I swear I’m actually going to kill you. You are the last person who I want to see, and the last person who should have gotten their ticket out of there. I can’t believe that you-”
Zooble looked down at Felix, who was still just listening, his expression distant. After a moment, Felix swore he could see the slightest hint of tears in their eyes, but it was gone in an instant as they sat down on the opposite chair.
Felix slowly but surely was able to pick himself up and sit on the chair across from them.
“Can I speak now?” He asked, earning a nod from Zooble.
“Pomni made it out, I can promise you that,” He explained, shoving down the anxiety in his chest. “Kinger…didn’t.”
“What did you do?” Their eyes narrowed- Felix tried not to let it hurt.
“I…I don’t know why it happened,” Felix bit his lip, tasting blood. “His wife…he wanted to stay.”
“You abstracted, Jax.”
Felix let out a deep breath, being vulnerable took a lot out of him, but he couldn’t lose this chance. Vomiting these words felt like a weight being lifted off, and for the first time ever he wished Zooble would just stay forever. At least he wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.
“Yeah, well, almost- guess I’m just too badass,” He let out a pathetic laugh. “My name is Felix, but you can still call me Jax if you want.”
“I don’t know what I want,” Zooble grunted. “My name is…Avery. Avery Thompson.”
“Avery,” Felix echoed. “So…how are…things?”
“Really?”
“What do you want from me, Zoob?” Felix’s voice cracked, causing him to cringe internally. “I’m sorry I’m not Gangle, or Ragatha. I’m sorry I handled the entire situation shittily. I can’t change the past- but I get it, you and everyone else would be much happier if I had just been left to die there.”
Zooble, or Avery, made a face that he didn’t expect at his outburst. A look of guilt, a look of confliction.
“I didn’t want you to die,” They sighed. “But you didn’t make it easy to prevent, either.”
“I’m still sorry I’m not Gangle.”
“I’m sorry I’m not Pomni.”
“We are both apologizing way more than we ever did before.”
They both laughed at that before simply staring at each other from their respective seats. There were a few beats of silence.
He wanted to repair this, to somehow still have the people he was surrounded by in the circus in his life. He didn’t want to have to adjust and go through everything alone. He knew he was a terrible person, but he didn’t want to be. Not anymore.
“Is this going to be the last time we ever see each other?” Felix asked, his voice small.
“I just…” Avery looked away, tapping their foot anxiously. “I can’t, Ja…Felix…I can’t see you and not be angry at you for making everything so much worse.”
Felix sighed, but nodded. “I get it.”
“I hope you find peace, Jax.”
Felix nodded, trying to accept the words as closure.
“Goodbye, Avery.”
After that, they were brought back to their separate rooms. Detective Morgan let it slip that Avery was discharged about a week or so later, and Felix tried his hardest to forget them, to forget the ache at the idea that they would never speak again.
Zooble was someone who always held him accountable- admittedly showing him tough love, and he had taken it for granted.
He was glad he had a chance to apologize, as sloppy as it was. He could only hope he would have a chance to apologize to Gangle and Ragatha as well.
Moreso, he desperately hoped he could thank Pomni, wherever she was.
“Go live your life, Pom-Pom.”
Pomni screamed as the words echoed in her brain, white light surrounding and consuming her before she felt her sense return to her- real senses.
She thrashed her arms, panicking before she felt the headset get lifted off her face and be tossed aside by a figure above her.
“No!” She screamed, throwing her body off the bed she had been on towards the headset. She tried landing on her feet, but her muscles failed and she tumbled to the floor.
“Christine!”
“Sweetheart!”
She felt two pairs of arms wrap around her, sobbing into her as she trembled. She quickly recognized who they were.
“Mom…? Dad…?”
“Oh, our sweet daughter…” Her mother sobbed, wailing.
Her father said nothing, only holding her tighter as if she could disappear at any second.
They sat like that on the floor for a long time, Christine felt shell-shocked. After all that time, finally, she was home in the real world with her family, but Kinger and Jax had abstracted, and were likely gone forever.
Eventually, her father helped bring her back to the bed. To her surprise, she was in her childhood bedroom. Since her father was a doctor, he was able to care for her even in a comatose state.
They spent a long time explaining everything to her. She had been in a coma for several months in connection to a series of comas caused by the C&A headsets. Investigations were still ongoing.
Her parents also mentioned that she was now a millionaire. They mentioned it frequently. She didn’t care.
She immediately asked about others, but her parents said she should focus on recovering. As soon as they let her have her phone back, she tried researching but couldn’t find any clues leading to the others. Only countless news articles and conspiracy boards discussing the entire C&A fiasco.
Recovery was difficult, but her parents said she was luckier than most, having been under the headset for a shorter amount of time than most, so she was back to walking after a few days.
Even as she recovered, her parents doted on her endlessly. Insisting on feeding her, staying in bed, avoiding the internet. All she wanted was to find her friends, to tell them how Jax and Kinger were gone.
One day, Christine heard a knock at the door. She went to answer but her father had beaten her to it. Waiting at the door was a man in a tan suit.
“Dr. Davis,” The man greeted. “I’m sorry for showing up unannounced, but I really need to speak-”
“You don’t need anything!” Her father snapped back. “My daughter needs to rest after everything she’s been through!”
“Dad,” Christine interrupted, approaching the door. “It’s fine, I can talk to him.”
“Are you sure, Christine?”
“Yes.” Christine insisted, a small bite in her words.
Her dad stepped away, albeit with a look of anger, and the man in the suit turned towards Christine.
“Hello, Christine,” He smiled. “I am Detective Morgan, may I come in.”
“Of course,” She replied, guiding him to a nearby couch. “Is this about…the headset?”
“Yes, I’m sure your parents have told you everything I could but I want to hear from you,” Morgan explained, sitting on the couch. “Is there anything you can tell me about the digital space?”
“First, have you spoken with any of the others?” Christine asked, gripping the sweatpants she was wearing as a way to ground herself. “I really need to see them.”
“I have spoken to the other survivors, aside from you and one other who is particularly tricky,” The detective sighed. “However, I cannot provide any information about these survivors to you, I apologize.”
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense...” Christine sighed, looking away. She thought back onto her short time at the digital circus, and tried to formulate her thoughts. “Where should I start?”
“How about you told me how you ended up with the headset.”
“Right…” Christine groaned. “That day I broke up with my boyfriend, Liam. It was a long time coming and I wasn’t particularly upset, but I was going to move back…here…and needed to get my mind off things. I like exploring abandoned places so I was exploring that building when…”
“The old C&A building…yes…” The Detective noddied. “Can you tell me anything about the digital world after you put on the headset?”
“It was, uh, like a circus. There was an AI ringmaster…” Christine felt her chest start to tighten. “His name was…C..Caine…”
“Take your time, Christine,” Morgan comforted, seeming a bit satisfied. “There is no rush.”
She started listing off small pieces of information through stuttered words and shaking lips. She was able to reveal how they could not use their real names, how her name was Pomni. She told him about the adventures that they went on.
“I guess when I explain it this way it sounds like it would be almost fun, but it wasn’t…there was…a looming fear of something that happened there…” Christine gulped, closing her eyes as tears threatened to well. “We called it…uh…ab…abs-”
“Enough!” Christine’s father stormed into the room, clearing having eavesdropped on the situation. “You are making her upset!”
“Dad, stop!”
“No, it’s quite alright Christine,” The detective assured. “You’ve been a huge help already, I just need to use the bathroom.”
“It’s down the hall to the right.” Christine’s dad directed before walking out hesitantly.
“Perfect,” Detective Morgan turned towards Christine. “I am leaving my phone here on the couch Christine- please make sure nobody looks at the notification I just got from my supervisor.”
Before Christine could respond, the detective stood up and walked down the hall. She wasn’t sure why he had told her that- was he inviting her to look?
She wanted to see the others- to be able to grieve the people that they had lost together. She was willing to do whatever it took to do so. She grabbed the phone and tapped the screen, seeing one notification on the home page. Part of it was cut off, but it was enough.
FROM: Chief
…to New Hope Hospital to interrogate the C&A vic again. See to it.
She made a mental note of the hospital name and set the phone back down as she had found it right before the detective re-entered and put the phone back in his pocket.
“Thank you, Detective Morgan.”
“Thank you, Christine.”
Christine watched as the detective left, then walked into the kitchen where her parents were preparing food.
“Are you ok, Christine?” Her mother asked as her father stood by with his arms crossed.
“I’m okay, I promise I’ve recovered a lot," She reassured them. “I was actually hoping to get out of the house for a bit?”
“Christine…that’s not a good idea.”
“Please, I’m not a child,” Christine insisted. “Give me my phone and I promise to be back before it even gets dark out.”
“No abandoned buildings.”
“I promise.”
With that, Christine was finally given her phone back and was handed the keys to her old car. Finally a small taste of freedom.
She still hadn’t been able to process losing Jax, how he had dragged her through the portal only to stay behind. Anytime she thought about it her chest turned ice cold and all breath faded from her lungs. Was this the same type of grief that had driven him to abstraction?
It helped her understand him a bit more. She felt angry, betrayed, and alone.
She typed the name of the hospital into the phone GPS, ignoring the plethora of missed calls and messages from a name she no longer cared for.
She had her people, and she was going to find them- and when she did, she would ensure none of them were ever lost or left behind again.