Chapter Text
Something about Drew just seems… off today. Although Danny can’t tell exactly what it is, he’s noticed quite a few strange actions by the other man. Nothing that would be especially concerning in isolation, but together they cause a pit of uneasiness to open up in the bottom of his stomach.
“You there Danny?” Danny focuses back to find Drew staring at him quizzically.
“Uh, yeah.” Drew smiles at him, and Danny feels his heart beat slightly faster. Anddd theres the other problem. Fuckity fuck fuck. But he doesn’t have time to delve deep into his possible homosexuality right now - they’re on camera after all. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Let’s just get back to the video.” He’s not sure if Drew was quite convinced, but he just shrugged and glanced down at the script again.
Drew had a few lines in a row, so Danny took a couple moments to catch his breath again and think about Drew’s anxiety-inducing behaviour. He’s wearing long sleeves today; something that hasn’t happened for quite a while. Of course, Drew can wear whatever he wants - but still, as his friend, he’s worried for him. And it’s literally August. He also seems.. well, skittish. His leg is shaking under the table and his eyes are darting from place to place. Drew’s skin is pale aswell - though that may be more indicative of his job than any specific illness.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Fuck, Danny’s been zoning out again. And now Drew’s also worried. Shitttt…
“Yeah, I’m just tired. Sorry. Do you mind if we postpone until tomorrow?” Drew’s hands twitch slightly, but he nods.
“Don’t burn yourself out.” Drew’s fingers are drumming against his leg and at one point they brush against Danny’s thigh and his heart jumps in his throat. He’s the one meant to be worried about Drew, for fuck’s sake. And not mildly obsessing over the man’s grin and care for him and sense of humour and Danny’s sooo dead.
“Yeah, I won’t.”
Almost instinctively, Danny rests his hand on the other man’s to try to still him. He can feel Drew’s nails digging into his own thigh, he realises with a jolt of alarm. As soon as he realises what he’s doing, he quickly pulls away. “Uh, sorry-“
“It’s fine-“
Danny can feel his cheeks burning as he hastily stands up and leaves.
“Yeah, I’ll- I’ll just take a nap.”
+ + +
Danny stares up at Drew’s ceiling, heart only just starting to calm down. Because of how far away from each other they live, Danny’s staying at Drew’s house for the next few days. Which is definitely not helping his homosexual shenanigans, by the way.
The bedsheets smell like Drew. Apple and cinnamon. Danny rolls over and buries his face in the pillow. It doesn’t help.
To be fair, he wasn’t lying about being tired. His head is still spinning and he can feel a migraine coming on.
He turns his head to the side and breathes in deeply, letting his mind wander as his eyelids droop. God, he really is tired.
+ + +
Danny wakes up disorientated and bleary-eyed, hair messed up and shirt wrinkled. He groans quietly as he leans on his elbows, glancing up to the window above. It’s night outside. Shit. He didn’t mean to sleep that long. He sits up and rubs his eyes, looking around the room.
Everything seems slightly surreal in the dark, Drew’s sleeping body curled up beside him. His face looks so peaceful in sleep, free from all the stress he carries in everyday life. His hair is falling over his face and Danny carefully tucks it behind his face. He looks… beautiful.
Drew seems to be shivering slightly, goosebumps dotting the pale skin of his arm and shoulder. Danny lifts his limp wrist to pull up the blanket and-
Oh.
Fuck.
He inhales sharply, pit in his stomach falling again.
Not again. Not now.
Well, atleast he knows why Drew was acting weird now.
His thumb traces the thin red lines streaked across Drew’s wrist, gripping his arm perhaps slightly too hard.
“Danny?” Drew slurs, arm twisting in his grip. “Wha’s happening?” Drew pulls his arm away, cradling it in his lap as he groggily sits up.
“Why? Why would you do that?” Danny’s voice breaks, vulnerable in the almost-black room.
Drew seems to shrink below his gaze, shoulders rising and nails digging into his thigh.
“I- I don’t know what you mean.”
Danny’s gaze softens. “This.” He leans over and grabs his arm before Drew can react, pulling his wrist into the thin stream of moonlight falling from the window. “These.” His grip is firmer this time, not allowing the taller man to escape.
“I- I- I- “ Drew’s breathing is unsteady and fast, other hand aggressively clawing at his leg. His chest begins to heave, eyes unfocused and wide. His body is shaking hard, and Danny can’t seem to get him to reply. Shiittt.
Hesitantly, Danny reaches over and wraps his arms around Drew, trying his hardest to comfort him.
“You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be fine.” Drew merely looks up at him fearfully, curled protectively around his forearm.
“I-I-I’m sor-sorry!” Tears streak down his cheeks.
“Sh, shh… It’s okay, don’t be sorry…” Danny can feel Drew’s tears seeping onto his shoulder, shaking hands wound in his t-shirt. “You’re going to be fine. Just try to breathe.”
After what feels like an eternity, Drew’s tears start to dry and his sobs are reduced to sparse tremors. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles, face still buried in Danny’s t-shirt.
Danny pauses for a second. “It’s okay. You’re trying. And it’s been ages, you haven’t.. fucked up like this for ages. You’ve been clean for four years, Drew. You’re going to be fine.” Drew sniffs.
“Mhm.” Danny relaxes slightly as Drew finally stops shaking and sits up again. He takes Drew’s hand in his own, rubbing the back of his hand slowly with his thumb. Drew slumps in his arms, drowsily nuzzling into Danny’s neck. “I love you.” He murmurs, half-asleep, and Danny’s heart skips a beat.
“I- I love you too.” Drew is already asleep.