Chapter Text
You knew you should have trusted your instincts. You should have just pushed harder and told Phil exactly what was going through your head. That something was wrong with the world, something big was coming. It was too late now though, he was gone.
You stood at the funeral not as his wife, but as someone who knew him. Two weeks ago, you were making love to him in a hotel room after getting married and falling in love with him all the more. But now, you were a sad mourner standing at his grave and wishing a million different things that wouldn’t matter.
‘What happens now?’ Garcia asked as the last mourner left the grave site.
‘I need to call in a favour.’ You said, you made your decision. You weren’t going to let anyone stand in your way anymore.
The five days had been glorious, you spent the time laughing and dancing and making love as husband and wife and you never wanted to go back home. You wanted to stay in Madrid forever and be happy forever.
‘Will you love me forever?’ You had asked, standing at the edge of the balcony and feeling the cool breeze circle your body. Phil slipped his warm hands around your waist, kissing your neck.
‘Until my dying day.’ He murmured seductively before taking you to bed for the second time that day.
You had made promises to each other in those precious few days, that no matter how different you were, no matter what SHIELD or the Network required you to do, no matter how often you fought over your jobs or how frustrating you both were, you would never go to bed angry and you would never stop loving each other.
But it seemed that life would be cut short. You got back home and the war had already begun, you didn’t have time to tell Pepper or Tony that you had gotten married, you didn’t even have time to see them before the sky opened up. You called El Hijo and told him to keep the Caretaker safe at all costs, that you were right in the middle of New York and hell was raining down.
You did what you could, you got people out and you saved as many as you could. You took a communicator from a fallen SHIELD agent and listened in to what was going on at the top. You took your bike and you rode into the middle of the city to help. Phil had kissed you hard and told you to leave as soon as you could, that you should go to one of Tony’s apartments outside the city and wait for him there. But you couldn’t just run away, you couldn’t just let these people die while you ran away from the fight.
So you stayed, you fought and you bled, you saved a bus load of people, by dragging the bus to safety with your bike. You rode back in and tried to do more, but it was only when you were lifting your bike again to ride down the road you had just cleared that the message came through.
‘Agent Coulson is down.’ You stilled. You waited and nothing happened. Maybe it was a different Agent Coulson, maybe it was a mistake, maybe he was just injured and he would recover. You could live with that, you could live by his bedside for the next year if that was how long his recovery would be, but you couldn’t live without him.
‘I’m here to see Director Fury.’ You told the receptionist. You didn’t bother changing from your funeral clothes. You needed to do this now.
‘I’m afraid he's busy.’ She said, almost shocked that you would ask such a thing.
‘Tell him the Kid is here.’ You said, much more firmly, the lump in your throat still refusing to shift.
She huffed a little before going in to inform Fury that you were here.
‘You can go in.’ She said and you ignore the look of annoyance she had on her face.
You walked straight into Fury’s office and could see him struggling to move around, he had been on the helicarrier throughout most of the battle, but as you had heard, it was hardly an easy position to be in.
‘I’m sorry.’ It was the first thing he said as you sat down in front of his desk.
You scoffed at him.
‘I’m calling in that favour.’ You got straight to the point. ‘I want you to put me on the list of dead and I want you to never look for me or anyone else in the Network.’
Fury just watched you curiously. ‘You’re going dark.’
‘I am.’
‘What if I need your help?’
‘You don’t get my help anymore.’ You scowled. ‘You don’t get anything from me anymore. I’m going dark and I promise you’ll never hear from me again. Don’t ever try to contact me and don’t ever try to find me. I’ll know if you do.’
You stood up and left the office with your head held high, you weren’t going to leave him with the memory of you being a sulking child, you were a strong woman and now you were a ghost.
Garcia had taken care of most of the preparations. He had taken an old SHIELD base off of the records and ensured it was safe for you to take over, so that’s what you did.
It was another couple of weeks before you were ready to leave. You hadn’t spoken to Pepper or Tony and you hadn’t gone back to your lab, you just left everything there. You weren’t going to need it anymore.
Garcia drove you both to the base and you kept an eye on the roads to check you weren’t being followed. Everything you owned was in the back of the truck you were driving including your bike and laptops. You were starting your new life, the one you had spent six years building, you just never imagined it would begin with heart ache as painful as this.