Work Text:
His alarm clock goes off at six thirty, like it has for years –
– and she’s already up, she’s always struggled with insomnia but now, after so much and so long, she counts herself lucky if she gets four or five consecutive hours –
– and he wants to stay in bed, doesn’t want to move, but he forces himself up anyways, because he can smell breakfast cooking and he can’t bear to disappoint her –
– and she’s not really hungry, food is so often unappealing, but she can’t bear the worry and stress it will cause him if he sees her neglecting her well-being, so she scrambles eggs for two –
– and he sits down at the table and smiles at her, accepting the cup of coffee she pours for him and the plate of eggs she pushes toward him –
– and she smiles back, the expression tired and timid because some days she can’t bring herself to believe that things truly do get better, but she smiles anyway, because she loves him –
– and he reads the news out loud, and they laugh over the comics, wry chuckles born of irony and sarcasm, skepticism and a shy, desperate hope –
– and she looks at him and thinks, maybe I have a dad –
– and he looks at her and hardly dares to believe that this is his daughter –
– and things aren’t perfect, and some days she can’t find the strength to keep herself contained and tamped down, and she breaks things, breaks herself, and cries for all the things that she’ll never get back, but he’s always there for her, wrapping her in his arms and shielding her from the world and from herself –
– and things are hard sometimes, and some days when the alarm goes off, he can’t find the strength to sit up, and he lies under the covers and mourns for the things he’s lost, and she creeps into the bedroom on silent feet and curls up beside him, saying I love you with her presence when words fail them both –
- and there are good days, too, days when she smiles and laughs and feels that the world is beautiful despite it all –
– and there are days when he wakes up to the sound of his daughter singing –
– and she loves her dad –
– and he loves his daughter –
– and that’s what matters –
– and that’s why he keeps going –
– and that’s why she forgives herself –
– and that’s why they choose to stay.