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I keep Coming Back (Like a Revolving Door

Summary:

It started small. Etho wouldn’t respond to texts right away. Bdubs told himself that Etho was just busy. He wasn’t obligated to message back immediately… even though he used to.

Then he started to sit on the opposite side of class, barely meeting Bdubs’ eye. When he asked, Etho said he made a new friend and thought Bdubs wouldn’t mind. Bdubs tried a little harder to ignore his friends’ comments about Etho pulling away.

He cares, he does.

Notes:

So I kinda hate this fic but I gotta feed the Ethubs nation! Almost deleted this but dedicating it to my friends instead. Also I promise I love Ren but I needed a fight scene. I apologise and love Ren so much hes like one of my faves💔
(He’ll be way better in my next fic I promise).

Anyways enjoy!

Work Text:

Bdubs never really saw it coming.

One minute, Etho was his best friend. To anyone else, Etho was a usual boy — white-haired, quiet, sarcastic. But with Bdubs? Etho was genuine. The sweetest person Bdubs could ever hope for. When they were together, their giggles filled the room they were in within minutes. 

They had been inseparable since they were little, geeking out over redstone builds and late-night horror movies, sharing headphones on the bus and making each other laugh until they cried. They clung to each other like glue. 

It had all started as kids, Etho being the new kid. A kid made fun of his scar and before long, Bdubs had punched the kid in the face. 

“I’m your protector now,” Bdubs demanded proudly, hands on his hips with a toothy smile. Then Etho giggled and Bdubs felt stunned. That day, Bdubs told himself this was his new best friend.

Then suddenly... it was like he didn’t even exist.

It started small. Etho wouldn’t respond to texts right away. Bdubs told himself that Etho was just busy. He wasn’t obligated to message back immediately… even though he used to. 

Then he started to sit on the opposite side of class, barely meeting Bdubs’ eye. When he asked, Etho said he made a new friend and thought Bdubs wouldn’t mind. Bdubs tried a little harder to ignore his friends’ comments about Etho pulling away. 

He cares, he does. 

And then one day, Bdubs walked into the cafeteria and saw Etho sitting at the table with them — Ren, Martyn, and Tango, the loud, confident trio who the duo had always avoided. 

Bdubs was so confused. What happened? Did he do something? Was it someone else?

Then Etho avoided him. They went from everyday talks to barely a conversation to full silence in two weeks. No texts, no calls, not even a hello — or, more accurately, a goodbye. 

Their usual group had no idea, comforting Bdubs through the hurt. They had all been so close to one another, always including each other. Even when Etho knew he’d say no, a invitation was extended anyways. 

Recently though, it was like Etho was a ghost. A distant memory that, soon, everybody would forget. 

“I don’t get it,” Bdubs had said to the friend group one afternoon, stabbing at his lunch with a fork. “Did I do something?”

Grian shrugged. “People grow apart sometimes.” 

The other was only half-paying attention, he’d been frustrated as he tried and failed to correct an error he’d made. Something about a trap not exploding when he wanted it to in a Minecraft world. 

“I didn’t go anywhere though,” Bdubs muttered, bitterly pushing his food away. “It was just him.” 

Joel leaned over to put his hand on Bdubs’ shoulder, Lizzie beside him looking sympathetic. 

Scott shrugged. “He’s a jackass. If he really cared, he wouldn’t have just left without any conversation.”

“Etho isn’t like that,” Bdubs argued, crossing his arms.

Grian looked up and gave him a pointed look, answering in a deadpan tone. “Isn’t he?”

Bdubs didn’t have an answer to that.

—————————————————————————

Etho had always been a little hard to read. Bdubs used to think that was part of the charm — he liked the mystery. 

But now? That mystery just felt like distance. Cold, calculated silence.
It was agony for Bdubs. It was like even looking at Etho was sending arrows into his heart. 

Still, Bdubs couldn’t stop watching.
He’d catch glimpses of Etho in the halls, surrounded by Ren and the others, laughing at jokes Bdubs would never hear. 

There were flashes of the old Etho sometimes — when his eyes would meet Bdubs’ across the corridor, just for a second, and something would flicker.
Regret?
Longing?
Bdubs didn’t know. He only knew it hurt like hell and he wanted it to stop.

—————————————————————————

“You gonna talk to him, or just keep staring at him like a puppy with abandonment issues?” Joel asked, looking back at him one Friday as they walked through the school courtyard. 

Lizzie, walking beside him with his arm around her shoulder, elbowed him. 

Beside them, Grian let out a muffled cackle and Scar winced, looking sympathetic. 

“I’m not—” Bdubs paused, words failing him. “Okay, maybe a little. But can you really blame me? He’ll barely even look at me, let alone talk to me.”

Joel pondered for a minute. “Why not just lock him in a room and blurt out everything your feeling?” 

Bdubs stared at him, a deadpan look on his face. “Ah yes, that will go great. ‘Hey Etho, you know when you avoided me all of a sudden after all we’ve been through? Yeah, that was mean. Okay, cool.’” 

Grian chuckled, turning to look at Bdubs, bringing a hand up to stifle his giggles. “Honestly, I’d pay to see that.”

Jimmy nudged him gently from his left. “You could just… be honest?”

Bdubs snorted. “Yeah, that always works.”

Scott leaned into Jimmy to level Bdubs with a look. “Maybe honesty is what Etho needs. Maybe it’s what you need too.”

But Bdubs didn’t want to need Etho. Not anymore. Not when he was constantly spinning in and out of Bdubs’ life like a damn revolving door. 

One minute, he hated him and the next, he wanted him back so bad that he’d break down on his bedroom floor. 

The times where Bdubs would scroll through their texts, praying for the familiar flow of conversation to come back to him. The times he’d throw his phone on his bed and scream into his pillow until his throat was raw. 

Just as they walked past Ren’s group in the halls, Etho looked back curiously before he could stop himself.  He met Bdubs’ eyes and that look flashed again. This time, Bdubs was the one to look away first. Jimmy rubbed his arm, giving a worried look. 

Bdubs understood. He was drowning without Etho. Even just knowing what he did wrong would be fantastic. 

But when he glanced back, Etho turned away. 

So they went back to digital silence. 

—————————————————————————

The thing about high school parties is that they always start terribly and end all too real. 

It was Martyn’s house — big, loud, packed with people. Bdubs hadn’t planned to go, but when Joel texted, “Come for five minutes. Just long enough to throw a drink in Ren’s face,” he chuckled and couldn’t resist.

Scott had picked him up, Jimmy in the backseat with Lizzie having a conversation about something or other. The ride there had been fun, just chatting and feeling the air from the window. 

When they pulled up outside, the nerves all hit Bdubs at once. It was too late to turn back so he followed Lizzie in. 

He saw Etho before anything else.
White hair glowing under colored lights. His black hoodie sleeves rolled up, fingerless gloves exposed. 

Laughing with Ren, red solo cup in hand, like he hadn’t just ripped a hole in Bdubs’ world three months ago. Bdubs felt the anger rising in his chest, biting his cheek to resist the urge to shout.  

Joel came out of nowhere and passed Bdubs a drink, levelling him with a look. “Deep breaths, we’re not here for them.”

Bdubs took a sip, mumbling quietly. “How long ‘til we can go? I’m gonna punch one of ‘em if this keeps up.”

Joel chuckled, nudging him with his shoulder. “See how the night goes,” he’d teased. 

Bdubs smiled at his friend, feeling like luck was finally on his side. As he usually was nowadays, he was wrong. 

—————————————————————————

It happened later in the night.

It had been fun at first. He cheered on the couples around him as they danced, sitting himself in a corner with a genuine smile on his face. At some point, Cleo sat beside him and they had a good conversation before she was whisked away by BigB and their friends, Gem and Pearl. 

The rest of his friends had been in the crowd, Bdubs shouting about going off to get a drink. 

Ren’s group were in the corner of the kitchen, Etho’s genuine giggles were painful to Bdubs’ ears. He hated he could track how real Etho’s laugh was. 

As Bdubs poured a drink, Ren glanced over. He remembered Martyn following his gaze, stifling a laugh. 

Bdubs ignored them all, just focusing on not letting the drink (or his anger) pour over. 

Then it happened. 

Ren made some cocky comment about Bdubs following Etho. Etho looked uncomfortable, shifting his weight to his other foot as he leaned to the side. He briefly remembered Martyn putting a hand on Ren’s shoulder, telling him to stop. 

Bdubs snapped something back, not even meeting Ren’s eye. Then it was yelling, then it turned into shoving, and suddenly, Ren had said something too far. Bdubs couldn’t really even remember what. 

Bdubs’ fist connected with Ren’s jaw, shocking even himself.

Then Ren was on the floor, clutching a bleeding nose (Grian would be proud), as Tango knelt beside him. 

Martyn was just about to go up to Bdubs when Etho pushed him aside with a shoulder, grabbing Bdubs by the neck of his moss-themed hoodie. 

“Stop!” Etho shouted, shaking his hoodie collar. “What the hell are you doing?!”

Bdubs’ heart pounded, anger subsiding a little. “He was asking for it,” he answered simply, glaring back at him. 

“So you just swing at people now?” Etho’s voice was sharp. Angry. “That wasn’t what you used to be—“

Bdubs cut him off so quick he was sure Etho flinched. 

“Oh, so apparently, you know me so well now? But I didn’t know you at all, apparently,” Bdubs said, voice rising. “You ghosted me without any explanation of what I did, and now you’re defending him?” He gestured to where Ren was glaring at him on the floor. 

Ren was still mumbling quietly behind them, but Etho had gone quiet, eyes unreadable. 

Bdubs pushed Etho away, causing the white-haired boy to back up. “Why? Why did you stop talking to me? What did I do?” 

Etho hesitated. Looked away, guilt flooding his eyes. “It wasn’t about you, it wasn’t—,” he fumbled over his words before he went silent again. 

“That’s a lie then.”

“Okay, maybe it was about you!” Etho snapped, those dark eyes Bdubs used to look at with adoration now flashing with hurt. “Maybe it was easier to pretend you didn’t mean everything to me because I didn’t know what to do!”

Martyn had just helped Ren up when everyone went silent, staring at Etho in absolute shock. The crowd was still loud but every noise outside the kitchen seemed to disappear to Bdubs. 

Bdubs froze. “What?”

“I don’t do feelings, Bdubs,” Etho said, voice quiet now. “I don’t know how to be around someone when I want to be more than friends. And you… made me feel like that all the time.”

The music from inside pulsed around them. For a second, neither said anything.

Then Bdubs spoke up, anger rising all at once. “So your brilliant plan was to break my heart before I could break yours? Are you actually serious?”

Etho flinched, voice breaking quietly. “That’s not fair, B—“ 

Bdubs stepped forward, shouting so loud he was sure the music was drowned out. “No! I’ll tell you what’s not fair, being shut out by the one person I cared about more than anything!” 

A few people from the crowd shuffled to get closer, seeming to notice the scene going on. Martyn pulled Ren and Tango back as Scott and Jimmy emerged from the music, taking their places on either side of Bdubs. Jimmy tried to grab his arm but Bdubs pulled away. 

Etho seemed to withdraw slightly, nervous at all the eyes on him. He raised his voice slightly, a tint of frustration in his voice. “Well, what would you rather I do?” 

Bdubs scoffed. “Not ignore me? Maybe actually talk to me about all that before you hang around with,” he gestured at the trio behind Etho. “The people we used to hate!” 

Etho threw his arms out, a clear sign he was desperate to be heard. “If I told you, you can’t honestly say you wouldn’t have got weirded out and left! My feelings would’ve ruined everything—,”

If Etho said anything further, Bdubs didn’t hear it. He was overwhelmed. Jimmy was begging Bdubs to go, tears slightly brimming in his eyes. Scott was shouting something Bdubs could barely hear, Etho’s eyes darting to him. 

Etho was arguing back something Bdubs couldn’t hear. Scott, seemingly offended, stepped forward as Jimmy tried to pull Bdubs away. Bdubs’ hands flew to his ears. The argument escalated further and further until he finally couldn’t take it. 

“I miss you, okay?” Bdubs shouted, the sentence seeming to silence anyone else in the room. “I miss you so bad it hurts! I’m sick of rereading our texts and missing you and seeing you but never being able to speak to you because you just—,” he sniffled, tears springing to his eyes and threatening to fall. 

“You just disappeared from my life and left a hole in it that I can’t fix.” 

Etho, in an instant, went silent. His arms dropped to his sides. Jimmy grabbed Bdubs’ arm and Scott directed them both towards the door. 

Just before they left the kitchen, Scott glared back at Etho, mouthing ‘Fix this.’ 

And as they left and the crowd moved away, Etho realised something. Even as Ren tried to get him to meet his eyes, Etho couldn’t. Now he knew…

He hadn’t been the only one feeling the way he did. 

—————————————————————————

Bdubs’ entire world came crashing down in three months. But tonight? He thinks this is the worst it’s been. 

He’s inside the car, curled up with his knees to his chest on the passenger seat. The others are talking outside the car, their voices muffled. They keep shooting him worried glances that Bdubs hates, glaring away from them — the steering wheel suddenly becomes oh so interesting. 

“I need a minute,” Bdubs had sniffled as they left, sobs attacking his throat. Scott had nodded, gently opening the door as Grian led him to sit. Just a minute, he’d promised himself silently. They’d all been outside talking for about 20. 

He hears the car door open and he’s handed a plastic water bottle, glancing up to see Lizzie’s warm smile. He is so grateful that the group has Lizzie, she’s awesome. 

He smiles slightly back before taking the water, shooting one of his legs down but keeping the other’s knee to his cheek as he tilts his head away. The water sits in his hand, unopened. 

He slightly tunes back into the conversation as the door closes. He hears Scar’s voice. “Well, if we can’t get them to communicate, what else do we—“

Bdubs took a few sips of the water, deciding he’d rather pay attention to anything else than to hear them talk about him like he needed to be fixed. 

How did he get here? 

As he sniffled, he brought his hoodie arm up, wiping his tear-streaked face. He hasn’t been this upset in ages. 

Feeling lost, he watched the others say their goodbyes as Scott closed his door and crossed in front to get in the drivers’ seat beside him. 

The ride home was quiet, the hum of the car's engine and Scott and Jimmy’s ever-so-quiet conversation the only sounds between them. Bdubs stared out the open window, trying to block out the knot in his throat and the weight in his chest that seemed to grow heavier with every passing minute.

Tears slid down his face before he could stop them. He tucked his head over his arms as he brought his knees back up to his chest. 

Scott glanced at him from the driver's seat, his face sympathetic. "You’ll fix this. You have to. You can’t keep letting him hurt you like this."

Jimmy shuffled nervously in the backseat, probably wishing he went with Lizzie when she agreed to drive Joel home after the party. 

Bdubs didn’t answer. He couldn’t.

When they arrived at his house, Bdubs stepped out of the car, his heart heavy with everything he had just said and done. 

He wiped his eyes, sniffling. “Sorry I ruined the night. You guys shouldn’t have missed out for me,” he mumbled, guilt swirling through his stomach. 

Scott shrugged. “To be honest, me and Jimmy were gonna leave soon anyways. The rest stayed if it helps you feel better.” 

Bdubs nodded silently, trying and failing to find a suitable goodbye. 

Before he could shut the door, he heard Scott’s voice again, softer this time. "You really do love him, don’t you?"

Bdubs froze, the words catching in his throat.

He did. He had for so long, he’d just never realized it until now. That’s why it hurt so bad. 

He nodded. “Thank you for driving me home,” he mumbled before heading to his door. 

Jimmy got out to sit in the seat beside Scott. “I hope he’s okay.” 

He will be,” Scott nodded, smiling at his boyfriend.

—————————————————————————

At school the next day, Bdubs felt worse. 

It seemed like everyone’s eyes were on him, all-knowing and judging. 

He clung to Grian and Scar for most of the day. It was the second to last day before summer. He just had to manage a few hours. He could always try to skip tomorrow. 

They’d all been talking in the same lesson when the chair beside him moved. 

He was shocked to find Etho sat down beside him. 

After a spike of anxiety, Scar rested a hand on Bdubs’ arm. The boy just nodded. 

They’d ignored Etho for most of the lesson, seeing as he didn’t say anything and just did his work. Before now, him and Bdubs would have been told to shut up a bunch as their giggles filled the air. 

But as he chuckled and joked with Grian and Scar, he felt a nudge on his arm and heard a paper moving. 

When he looked at Etho, he’d looked down, clearly nervous. Bdubs looked at his work, realising there was a note now left there. The duo beside him cast a glance before continuing their conversation. 

He unwrapped the paper, avoiding Etho’s curious eye as it followed him for any reaction. 

He was surprised to find more than one word on the paper, reading it over and over to make sure he hadn’t been mistaken. 

I screwed up bad, can I explain tonight? I’ll bring snacks. Your room? I swear, I’ll tell you the full truth this time.” He’d even added a sad face at the end of the sentence. 

Scott is going to kill me, Bdubs’ thought as his hand reached for his pen. 

He huffed, turning the note over. He writ something before sliding it back, nudging Etho. 

Their eyes locked briefly before Etho looked down, reading the note. 

Bdubs watched curiously before chuckling at the way Etho let a gentle smile and a exhale of relief.

Fine. 8:30pm sharp. A minute late and I burn down our Minecraft world.” He’d even added a heart beside it. 

Grian levelled him with an unimpressed look, frustration clear on his face. Scar looked sheepish. 

Bdubs shrugged. He really needed to stop forgiving Etho so easily. 

But as he turned to his side and saw the other basically beam in excitement, he shrugged. 

He would always forgive Etho. 

—————————————————————————

After a lot of loving arguments from his friends about how dumb of an idea this was, Bdubs left for home. 

When it hit 8:28, he heard a tap on his window. He sat on his bed before opening the window, seeing that familiar face. 

“You’re early,” he noted. As Etho climbed in, the brunette shrugged. “I suppose your base is safe this time.” 

Etho chuckled, taking off his backpack and dropping it beside the bed like usual. “Still threatening me, huh?” 

The other nodded. “It’s my job. Especially when a certain person has been avoiding me,” he rolled his eyes. 

Etho winced, huffing. “Okay, yeah, I deserved that,” he rubbed the back of his head with his hand. “I’ll give you the truth this time.” 

As they both got comfortable, Etho noted what the other was wearing and let out a soft chuckle. 

Bdubs looked up, raising an eyebrow. “What’s got you with the giggles?” 

“I got you that shirt,” Etho whispered. 

It had been a prank for Bdubs birthday. It was simple, a grey shirt with a huge Canada flag on the front and “Honorary Canadian” written at the top. Something Etho never expected his best friend to adore so much. But like always, Bdubs had surprised him.

The other had jumped up and down, hugging him and promising to cherish it forever. He claimed it made him feel closer to Etho. 

They both sat on opposite sides, facing each other. Etho’s legs hanging off the bed and Bdubs cross legged across from him. 

“Okay so for the record, I know how stupid I’ve been. This isn’t an excuse but you deserve a explanation,” Etho huffed, rubbing his elbow with his arm as he looked down. “I’ve been in love with you since we met.” 

Bdubs let out a breath at that, frozen. “That long,” he whispered. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?” 

The other shuffled. “I didn’t want to loose you. I’m—,” he paused, looking in the others’ eyes now. “I’m not great at feelings, B. I was scared. You’re like… the best thing to ever happen to me. I was stupid and if I could take it all back, I could. I should’ve just came clean instead of ignoring you and I’m so sorry that I hurt you.” 

The other chuckled, shuffling closer to him before they were sitting side to side. “I think that’s the most I’ve heard out of you in months.” 

“Bdubbbs,” Etho drawled, hiding his face in his hands. 

“Too soon?” Bdubs cackled, stifling his laughter. 

Etho sent him an annoyed look with no real bite behind it. He turned serious within a minute after they both recovered. 

“Seriously though, are we okay? It’s been killing me not talking to you and I kept staring at you without meaning to,” he ran a hand through his hair as he rambled. “It was seriously torture because you’re awesome and I just—“

Bdubs chuckled softly, leaning forward. He placed a hand on Etho’s cheek. “You’re an idiot.”
And then he kissed him.

When they pulled apart, Etho was looking at him like he was afraid to blink. His cheeks were flushed and he looked the most nervous Bdubs had ever seen him. 

Bdubs let go of his cheek, holding his hand now instead. “Next time, maybe talk to me instead of turning into a ghost.”

Etho chuckled, cheeks reddening further in embarrassment. 

“You punched Ren.” He murmured fondly. 

“I’d do it again,” Bdubs said, smirking.
Etho rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”
“And you’re annoying.”
They both laughed.

Somewhere inside their minds, the anxiety was still going. But outside, in Bdubs room, it felt like the only thing that mattered was the way Etho held Bdubs’ hand like he didn’t ever want to let go.

—————————————————————————

Friday was different.

Etho didn’t sit with Ren and the others. He walked straight to Bdubs’ table, sat next to him like it had never changed, and let his knee bump Bdubs’ under the table.

Joel raised an eyebrow, clearing his throat nervously. “So… you two good?”

Bdubs grinned, leaning his head on his hand. “We’re figuring it out.”

Grian elbowed Scar, who was clearly staring. “Told you.”

Etho leaned in, whispering. “Just a fair warning, I might suck at relationships.”

Bdubs smiled softly. “Good thing I don’t.”

Etho gave him a look, quirking an eyebrow upwards. “Cocky.”

Bdubs leaned against his shoulder, nudging him. “You love me.”

Etho didn’t reply. But he didn’t need to.

—————————————————————————

Being with Etho wasn’t like flipping a switch.

It wasn’t like one kiss erased all the confusion or fixed every broken word left unspoken in the time they spent apart.

But for Bdubs, waking up to texts from Etho — dumb little “good morning” messages and pictures of the sky and sarcastic memes — made his chest ache in a different way now. A good way.

Seeing Etho reach out and hearing his voice, even over a headset, was everything. They had (thankfully) finally logged back onto Minecraft, being even closer. 

Then Bdubs would make some dumb joke and he’d hear it. That laugh.

The problem was, he wasn’t sure how people felt about it.

Ren gave them a unreadable look as his group saw them out together one day. Bdubs ignored him.

Tango had always been nice. He’d made some joke about “traitors” in the passing moment, not meaning anything by it, just wanting to split some tension. Etho didn’t laugh.

And Martyn? Martyn just said, “Guess the ghost found someone to haunt properly.”
Still, Etho chose Bdubs. Every day, he kept choosing him.
That had to count for something.

—————————————————————————

They were lying on Bdubs’ bedroom floor one evening, sitting beside each other, music playing low from his phone speaker. The lyrics from Revolving Door floated between them and it felt like a memory.

“I still think about that night out in Boston,
I’m more hurt than I would admit,
I’m supposed to be an adult but fuck it, I need a minute.”

Bdubs glanced over. “You ever feel like this song was way too real?”

Etho snorted, tilting his head to lean it on Bdubs’ shoulder. “Yeah, I was literally living in it for months.”

Bdubs’ hand moved to Etho’s back. “Why didn’t you say something? Before it got that bad?”

Etho hesitated. “I thought if I admitted how much I liked you, you’d see it was too much. That I was too much.”

“You’ve met me, right?” Bdubs grinned. “I’m always too much.”

Etho laughed quietly. “Fair.”

But behind the laugh, there was something guarded in Etho’s eyes. That door Bdubs had only just managed to wedge open… was still swinging.

—————————————————————————

It was small at first — Bdubs made a dumb comment in front of their friend group, teasing Etho about “finally having emotions.” He hadn’t meant it seriously. Everyone laughed.
Except Etho.

He went quiet the rest of the afternoon, noticeably staring at the floor more often than not. It was like he entirely withdrew. 

After they got home, Etho stopped replying to Bdubs’ texts. No explanation. Just a one-word text left behind: “Sorry.”

Bdubs felt his chest twist.

He confronted him the next day, knocking on his door and tapping his foot anxiously to the floor. When the door swung open, he blurted out the words in one jamble. 

“You know I was joking, right?”
Etho nodded. 
“So…?”

“I know you didn’t mean anything by it,” Etho said softly. “But part of me still heard it like you were making fun of me for trying.”

“Hey,” Bdubs said, stepping closer. “You are trying. I see that. Every day, I see the effort you put in. The way you go above and beyond. And yeah, maybe I tease — but I’d never mock you for that. I’m sorry.”

Etho swallowed. “It’s hard to believe someone when your head keeps yelling louder.”

Bdubs smiled gently, sliding his hand to intertwine with Etho’s. “Then let me be louder.”

—————————————————————————

They snuck away from the next party early — too much noise, too many eyes.

They ended up in a quiet room, sitting on the floor beside shelves of dusty books.

Etho leaned his head against Bdubs’ shoulder. “Do you think people can actually stay?”

“Some,” Bdubs said. “Not everyone. But the good ones? Yeah.”

“And you think I’m one of the good ones?”
“I know you are,” Bdubs said, gently grabbing his hand. “You stayed even after you left.”

Etho frowned, a tear glimmering in his eye. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“You were gone,” Bdubs said, voice low. “But you still haunted everything. Every hallway, every song, every time I looked for your name on my phone.”

Etho looked down, guilt swimming in his stomach. “Sorry I made you feel that.”

Bdubs reached out and tipped his chin up. “You didn’t make me feel anything. I just… cared. That doesn’t go away.”


“I’m still figuring it out,” Etho admitted, shrugging. “How to… stay. Be present. Be with you without running.”


“You’re doing better than you think,” Bdubs whispered.


They kissed again. Slow. Quiet. Safe.

—————————————————————————

Summer had almost faded into fall. With it came softer nights, drives with the windows down, late-night calls where both of them were struggling to stay awake but neither wanted to hang up.

Life had been better for both of them since, constantly surrounded by each other and friends as the hours ticked by. 

Etho started drawing again. Bdubs found one of the sketches tucked into Etho’s desk one evening: it was the two of them sitting on the floor, legs tangled together like vines, eyes locked. Etho had titled it “Anchor.”

“Is that what I am?” Bdubs asked him that night.


Etho nodded. “You keep me from floating away.”


Bdubs smiled. “That’s poetic and a little dramatic.”
“You’re dating a former emo introvert. Deal with it.”


They both laughed. 

—————————————————————————

One evening, a few days before school started again, they sat on the roof of Etho’s house. Stars were scattered across the sky. Crickets buzzed in the background.

“I was scared we wouldn’t make it,” Bdubs admitted, hugging himself.

Etho nodded. “I was scared I didn’t deserve to.”

“You do,” Bdubs said firmly. “You always did.”

There was silence, but the good kind.

“I love you,” Etho said quietly, red tinting his face.

Bdubs blinked. “You—?”

“I’m saying it now,” Etho murmured. “Because I don’t want to miss the chance again.” 

Bdubs laughed — soft and overwhelmed — and tackled him into a hug.

“I love you too,” he whispered against Etho’s neck. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
And this time, neither was Etho.

—————————————————————————

One night, the group was at a hang out when Etho needed some air. He loved his friends but sometimes, he needed a minute to calm down after being social. 

“I’m going to get some air,” he’d told his boyfriend, almost giving him a kiss on the forehead. They were still keeping it a secret for now. 

He’d been sat outside on the step, just breathing when he heard footsteps behind him. 

Looking up, Grian had stepped out and moved to sit beside him. 

Etho glanced at the other, giving a simple wave. 

“You staying this time then?” Grian asked, looking at the floor. 

Etho nodded, chuckling softly. “I am.” 

The other stayed silent a moment. “Promise me something?” 

Etho nodded. “What’s up?” 

There was a moment of silence before an exhale. 

“Don’t hurt him.” 
“I wouldn’t dream of it. Hated doing it the first time.”

“So what about scar,” Etho nudged him. “What about you and him?”

Grian practically squawked. “Nothing is happening between me and him. We’re friends, nothing more.” 

Etho chuckled. 

“That’s what I said too.”

—————————————————————————

Weeks passed. The scars of confusion faded slowly, like pencil marks gently erased

They weren’t perfect — Etho still had his quiet moments, Bdubs still had his loud ones. But they met in the middle.

No more hiding. No more revolving doors. No more going where the other couldn’t follow. 

Just two boys, hands interlaced under the table, trying to love each other the best way they knew how.

And this time… Etho stayed.

—————————————————————————

The first day of senior year started like any other: hot hallways, too-early alarms, the urge to go back to sleep, and an overwhelming number of handouts no one would read.

But for once, Etho and Bdubs weren’t walking separately.

They entered together, giggling loudly — side by side — with Bdubs swinging his backpack like a menace and Etho looking like he’d much rather be anywhere else, until Bdubs reached over and laced their fingers together.

The duo smiled securely, knowing that they were ready. They were together. It would be okay as long as they had each other. 

It was subtle.
But not subtle enough.

Joel was actually the first to spot them from across the courtyard. He immediately choked on his drink.

OH MY GOD,” he shouted, slamming his can down. “I knew it! I knew it! I told Lizzie you two were a slow-burn friends-to-lovers arc and she said I was reaching—WHO’S LAUGHING NOW, LIZZIE?”

Lizzie, flipping through her planner beside him, only looked up to whack him on the nose with her pencil. “Still me, honestly.”

Grian blinked at them. “Wait. Like. Officially dating?”

Scar gasped. “Do we celebrate? Or, like… whisper about it from behind trees?”

“Let’s do both,” Grian whispered dramatically, making a show of cupping his hand to Scar’s ear to whisper rather loudly.

Jimmy squealed in a pitch no one knew he could reach. “FINALLY. I thought I was gonna have to lock you two in a room like a sitcom.”

Scott, arms crossed, smirked. “You owe me five bucks, Jimmy.”
WHAT?”
“I bet you they'd kiss before summer ended. You said never in a million years.”

“You bet on us?!” Bdubs shouted, a hand on his chest in mock-offence, as if he was scandalized.

“Please,” Scott deadpanned. “It was the slowest car crash of romantic tension I’ve ever seen.”

Bdubs looked ready to melt into the floor. “This is bullying.”
Etho, still holding his hand, leaned in. “You can handle it.”
“I know, but still! I expected, like, one subtle nod of approval. Not a full-on betting pool.”

From behind them, Ren, Martyn, and Tango walked by.
Ren gave them both a long, unreadable look before finally offering a nod and a small smile. “Good for you, Etho.”

Bdubs stiffened — still bitter — but Etho squeezed his hand and nodded back.

Tango gave a thumbs-up. Martyn just muttered, “Took you long enough,” before walking off. 

“Hypocrite,” Etho muttered. Bdubs looked up at him confused before the other finally elaborated. “It’s painful watching Martyn pine after Ren. It’s so clear how he feels yet him and Ren haven’t done anything.” 

Later That Day, the lunch table was absolute mayhem. 

“So,” Joel began, resting his chin on his hands, “how long have you been back together as a couple?”

“Back together,” Etho repeated, looking up and pausing before clarifying. “We were never together before now.” 

Joel rolled his eyes. “We all know you two were a thing. Must’ve been for Bdubs to be so dramatic like that.” 

Bdubs nearly choked on his sandwich. 

I AM NOT—”

“Not dating for long,” Etho said with a straight face. “Since the night after the party.”

Grian levelled Etho with a look. He was still skeptical, not fully trusting Etho. “So what? In a single night, you managed to reverse—“

“Wait, wait, wait,” Scar said, waving his arms out. Grian huffed at being cut off but allowed his friend to continue anyway. 

“Tell us everything. First kiss? First real date? First accidental ‘I love you’?”

Etho looked smug. “The first ‘I love you’ wasn’t accidental.”
“OKAY, BUT STILL—”

Joel leaned over to Lizzie. “This is better than any TV show.”
Lizzie nodded. “They’re like a fanfic in human form.”

Grian turned to Scar, chuckling. “Bet they’re the kind who think sitting in silence for hours is a date.”

Scar clasped his hands over his heart, nudging the other. “That’s romantic, Grian. Don’t shame them.”

“You guys do realize we’re right here,” Bdubs muttered.
Etho just sipped his drink, clearly unbothered. “Let them talk. We’re the main characters now.”

Bdubs stared at him.
Then smiled.
“…Yeah. We are.”

And just like that, Etho and Bdubs stopped being the “almost.”

They were the real thing — loud, soft, messy, honest.
Not a phase.
Not a secret.
Just two boys, choosing each other — again and again.
Even when everyone was watching.

The revolving door had finally stopped. And Etho had ran right into Bdubs’ arms when it had.