Chapter Text
“I can’t believe we created a whole damn world, and the first thing we have to worry about is money,” Dave complains loudly as he lays on his back on a grassy hill in the middle of a park, staring up at the sunny sky. “Doesn’t John’s dad have, like, a wallet modus? What’s even in that? A fucking car? But not money, I bet.”
There's a tiny poof in the air as an object suddenly comes into existence between Roxy’s hands and then flutters to the ground. “Okay, how ’bout now?” she asks hopefully.
Jane picks up the small dollar bill and inspects it. “No, there’s still a lot of things wrong, and… what are these smears on the White House?”
Roxy leans forward to look over Jane’s shoulder at her handiwork. “Blood-paint,” she says.
Horrified, Jane drops the bill. “For the love of god, why?!” she demands.
But Roxy just looks confused. “Um, because it’s the White House? Obviously?”
“This might go better if we actually had some money from this world for her to replicate,” Jake suggests.
“Yeah,” agrees Terezi. “You two are really jumping to a lot of conclusions about what the appropriate currency is in this universe. How do you know it will be the same as what Jane is used to?” She turns to Dave. “Jade made this universe. What would Jade consider the appropriate currency?”
“Jegus, I dunno, she grew up on a fucking island. Probably like seashells or bullets or actual live dogs.”
As if on cue, there is a much louder poof on the other side of the small grassy hill, and Dave raises up onto his elbow to look behind him at Jade, who has just popped into existence there with John clutched to her side in one arm and Karkat clutched in the other. “I found them in Australia!” she announces proudly. “There were kangaroos! It was amazing!”
Karkat frees himself like an angry cat, while John just seems to accept the fact that he will be hugged by Jade for the rest of his life now. “She chased the oversized hopbeasts,” Karkat accuses loudly, stomping toward the inhabited side of the hill. “It took two hours to get her back and remind her to take us here. Hi, Dave.”
“Hi, Karkat,” Dave says with a small smile. He flops over onto his belly so he can look at the newcomers more easily without actually getting up. There are, actually, plenty of other people around in this public park, but absolutely no one seems to give a shit about the trolls, the dog-eared girl with space powers, or their godtier pajamas. “Hey, Jade, if I wanna like, go to Starbucks and order a coffee, do I pay in shells, bullets, or puppies?”
“Why would anyone give away a puppy if they had it, you monster?” Jade demands playfully as she and John trail behind Karkat. She plops down next to him inelegantly with a loud “oomf.” “Sorry, guys, this is kind of exhausting. I need a recharge before I collect more people.”
“Maybe if you hadn’t spent two hours indulging your barkbeast parts,” Karkat grumbles, taking the other side of Dave as Jade starts braiding Dave’s hair without even asking. Whatever, he probably couldn’t have stopped her anyway.
John goes to go peer over Jane’s shoulder at her and Roxy’s activities. “Um, why are you guys making weird money?” he asks.
Jane groans while Roxy makes a constipated face of determination and starts gathering energy between her hands again. “Because we’re trying to make actual money,” Jane explain.
“Doesn’t that sort of thing, like, crash economies and stuff?” asks John.
“Well, yes, I admit I’ve thought about that,” Jane says with a sigh. “It’s by no means a permanent solution. But we do need food and soon.”
“Oh, Roxy’s powers can’t make food?”
The energy she was gathering fizzles out as Roxy and Jane exchange glances. “Well, I know what a pumpkin looks like,” says Roxy. “Oh, and also cake.”
Jane groans again, throws up her hands, and collapses backward onto the grass. “I guess!”
“No cake,” John insists.
“I can take the cake, and John can take the pumpkin,” Jake offers.
“Also, I guess I know booze, too,” Roxy says quietly. “But, I don’t wanna for, like, obvious reasons. Also, I’m pretty sure it has a very low nutritional value?”
“Yeah, let’s put that way at the bottom of the priority list,” Dave suggests. “Like, you know the paper that the priority list is written on? Okay, you know the end of the page, where there stops being paper? After that is where we can list booze.”
“Seconded,” says Jane.
“All in favour?” asks Jake, and he, Jade, John, Jane, Dave, and Karkat all raise their hands. Roxy giggles and hugs the humans closest to her. “It passes… nearly unanimously. Um… I’m sorry, I don’t want to mess up your name?”
Terezi is sniffing aggressively at the sky with that expression they’ve learned means that she is fairly irritated that she can’t reach something to lick it.
Karkat raises an eyebrow. “Her name is Terezi,” he informs Jake. “Terezi, what the fuck?”
“It’s just a speck, so I can’t tell, but that’s not one of us, is it?” she asks, pointing up.
“Huh?” Dave turns to look. There is, indeed, a speck moving through the sky. “It’s probably a… No, wait, it’s way too fast to be a bird.”
Jade buzzes briefly with green energy. “No, I can tell where all of our people are, and that’s not them. It’s a person, though! But a flying alien person!”
“... Jade, did you put trolls on this planet?” Roxy asks a bit warily.
“I’m not sure how I feel about that,” Karkat says quietly.
“No, not a troll,” says Jade. “He’s green. I mean, not green-blooded but literally green. No hair. Amazing cheekbones. Red eyes.”
“A cherub?” screeches Jane, bolting upright.
“Um, like Callie?” asks Jade. “No, he’s like 5.2 times her mass, and I guess his head shape is a little bit the same, but it’s mostly different. It kinda seems familiar, but I can’t place why. Anyway, he’s flying past now. I don’t think he noticed us, though I don’t think anyone here has cared so far?”
“Well, you did make this universe,” says Jake.
“Yeah, I didn’t realize it would be so populated already!” Jade says delightedly. “I wonder if that has something to do with the frogs you pick? Or does the game decide on its own?”
Terezi tilts her head at that like she’s caught scent of prey. “Did you have a standard by which you selected frogs?”
“Mostly the cute ones,” says Jade.
“You have a really broad definition of ‘cute’,” Dave mutters into his arm as she continues braiding his hair. “I remember you picking up this huge black toad that looked like it regretted every single moment of its life and giggling and saying, ‘Doesn’t he look like Batman?’”
“The fuck is a Batman? That sounds horrifying,” Karkat demands.
“It is horrifying,” John assures him. “It’s a nightmare creature parents warn their kids about to make them behave.”
“She also had ones for like Clark Kent and Supergirl and I don’t remember what else. I’m not the comics nerd here.” Dave realizes then that Jade’s hands have stilled in his hair, and he looks up at her. “Are you done?” he asks.
Jade, unexpectedly, is beginning to blush vibrantly. “I… um… I remember where I know that face from,” she saya.
“Oh?” asks Terezi. “Did you recreate someone from your universe?”
“... Sort of,” Jade says. Her hands drop into her lap as she begins squirming uncomfortably. “Uh, he’s, uh…. His name is Martian Manhunter.”
The humans all exchange confused glances. Finally, Jake says, “What on earth is a Martian manhunter?”