Chapter Text
Jisung wasn't a troublemaker—or at least, that's what he believed.
He rarely got in trouble, never talked back to adults, and always thought carefully about the words that left his lips. To most people, Han Jisung was a decent and morally-centred person.
Jisung tried to avoid trouble. Growing up, he discreetly put up a fort that avoided trouble screaming into his life. He distanced himself from bullies, way too popular kids, and especially those who had a reputation for having connections to gangs.
He could still remember the names of those who came into class smelling like weed.
His eyes tore away from his screen, full of notes and half-typed words, fingers stilling above the keyboard as his professor released a heavy sigh. Jisung merely straightened as he saw his blockmate, an irregular, hands tucked into the pocket of their jeans, walk through the door, glancing at the professor, whose arms were now crossed.
"Miss Kim," the professor spoke, voice low and obviously tired as his eyes focused on the student. "If you are late to this class again, then I—"
"Sure," the student, Soo-ah, replied as she lazily plopped into the vacant chair beside Jisung.
Jisung blinked, eyes darting back toward his now black screen. He could see himself in the reflection, brows furrowed slightly, tongue pressed heavily against the roof of his mouth.
The professor blinked in response to Soo-ah's answer before turning around and continuing with the lesson. Soo-ah shifted in her seat, lazily unzipping her backpack open as she placed a notebook onto her desk. Jisung forced himself to focus on the lesson, but his eyes couldn't help but wander back to her, her eyes meeting with his.
She reeked of cigarettes.
Soo-ah blinked at him, "What?"
"Nothing," Jisung mumbled under his breath, fingers finding the keyboard, tapping on a single letter in hopes that the screen would turn bright again. He could feel her stare at him before she unwrapped a lollipop, barely glancing up at the professor, even as he turned to look where the sound originated from.
Jisung wasn't a troublemaker, but he was sure Soo-ah was.
Kim Soo-ah, an irregular student in his Psychology class. Long black hair, a face that carried equal parts boredom and mischief, ripped jeans, an off-the-shoulder shirt, and black Converse. Even unwrapping a lollipop felt like an act of defiance.
Unfortunately, Soo-ah had a way of disturbing Jisung's bubble. Her feet scraped unceremoniously across the floor, pulling every eye in the room toward her. Jisung hated the sound, hated the way she dropped into a chair like the world owed her the seat. And of course, this time she chose the row where only he sat.
The first time Jisung met Soo-ah, she cut in front of him at a convenience store.
It was the first day of college, and Jisung was officially a senior. He had grown to force himself to fall asleep even for two hours or so whenever the beginning of classes neared, despite his nerves snapping at him not to. He had chugged the last of his energy drinks the day before and found himself browsing the shelves for a specific one.
When he queued, someone had cut in front of him just as he was about to place the energy drink on the counter. His brows furrowed, blinking twice as his arm shot out to tap the shoulder of the person now in front of him. Just as he reached, she spun around, a bubble popping in his face.
Jisung blinked, hand freezing as she chewed loudly. "You mind?"
Without even waiting for an answer, she turned back around and placed a crumpled bill on the counter as she pointed at a brand of cigarettes. Jisung couldn't help but feel his jaw clench.
She turned back, gave him the quickest once-over, and smirked like he wasn't worth the air. Then the bell above the door jingled, and she was gone.
Jisung was nearly late that morning.
Soo-ah being a menace was no secret in the halls. Jisung heard rumours of staff catching her smoking on the roof or behind the gym, and how she barely showed up to class despite the letters piling in her mailbox.
Professors had stopped being surprised, and students whispered in equal parts annoyance and awe. She carried herself like none of it mattered, like rules were just background noise for her to tune out. Even her silence felt like rebellion.
Jisung could never. His reputation mattered, and unlike Soo-ah, he had no interest in being remembered for the wrong reasons.
"Jisung-ah!"
Jisung looked up from his phone just in time to see a flash of blonde barreling toward him. He barely had time to tuck the device into his pocket and adjust his glasses before a body slammed into him, knocking the breath out of his chest.
"Oof— Yongbok—" Jisung wheezed, but his protest was swallowed as Yongbok wrapped him in a quick, crushing hug. Students passing by gave them looks, but Yongbok either didn't notice or didn't care.
"No time, let's go!" Yongbok grinned, already tugging Jisung down the stairs and out of the lecture hall before he could even think to resist.
"Yongbok—"
Yongbok dragged Jisung through the sea of students until Jisung had no choice but to jog to keep up. They weaved into the cafeteria, alive with chatter and clattering trays, before Yongbok shoved him into a seat at a table tucked away from the flow of traffic.
"Okay, okay!" Yongbok burst out, barely able to contain his grin. Jisung opened his mouth to speak, but the blonde slapped a hand in front of him. "I got into the dance troupe!"
Jisung's jaw dropped. "What? No way!"
"I know!" Yongbok clapped his hands together, practically vibrating with energy, before pressing them flat against the table. "I know we're seniors, and it probably wouldn't matter, but do you know what this means? I finally got that scholarship I've been chasing since freshman year!"
Jisung's lips tugged into a small smile, warm despite his calmer tone. "That's amazing, Bokkie. Congrats."
Yongbok practically glowed, joy radiating from him in waves. "I've been waiting for this for years, Jisung. I couldn't believe it when the acceptance email came in this morning." He shoved his phone across the table, the screen lit up with the official letter.
Jisung skimmed over the words, muttering parts under his breath before looking back up at him. A small smile tugged at his lips.
"I'm really happy for you, Bokkie," he said softly. And he meant it.
"So, tell me," Yongbok changed topics as if he hadn't just slobbered Jisung in happiness, slipping his phone back into his pocket, "did Soo-ah give my Jisungie a hard time this morning?"
Jisung groaned, rolling his eyes. "Late again. And of course, she sat right next to me. She reeked of cigarettes— ugh. Two hours of secondhand smoke, and her chewing on that damn lollipop. Can you believe it?"
Yongbok snorted, nearly choking on his laugh. "Does she always sit by you, or is she just in love with your grumpy face?"
"That's not the point!" Jisung shot back, irritation sharpening his words. "I should just stop sitting in the front row on Tuesdays and Fridays. Psychology is already bad enough without her dragging the whole lecture down."
The blonde chortled. "Face it, Jisungie. You're stuck with her for the rest of the semester. Better start building up tolerance,"
Jisung huffed, rolling his eyes again. "As long as she doesn't sit next to me, I'll survive."
Yongbok pushed back his chair, still grinning as he stood. Jisung's gaze followed him automatically.
"I'm grabbing food. You want anything?"
"Just water," Jisung said, deadpan.
Yongbok clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes in exaggerated mimicry before wandering off toward the counter.
𖦏
Jisung hated it when Yongbok was right.
The next morning, Soo-ah arrived ten minutes after the professor—though, of course, Jisung wasn't counting. Her shoes scraped loudly against the floor, and he tried not to flinch. As she passed, the scent of cigarettes and cheap perfume hit him like a punch to the senses. He gripped the edge of his desk, forcing his eyes ahead instead of watching her swagger by.
Some people really do enjoy making mornings unbearable, he thought.
It hadn't even been five minutes since she slid into a seat somewhere behind Jisung when the professor paused mid-sentence. Jisung glanced back to see Soo-ah's arm shoot up, fingers curled and pressed together.
"Yes, Miss Kim?"
"Bathroom,"
The professor barely whispered the word before the screech of a chair cut through the room. Soo-ah sauntered past him, hands tucked into her pockets, and disappeared from view. Jisung exhaled, realising he'd been holding his breath.
Ten minutes passed. Still no sign of her.
Of course, he was paired with her for field work.
Instead of sending the class president, the professor directed Jisung to go.
Jisung grumbled under his breath as he stormed down the hallway, trying to recall every spot Soo-ah might have vanished to—the library corners, the stairwells, the hidden alcoves he'd overheard rumours about.
The stairwell doors squeaked under his hand as he pushed through, his pulse ticking faster than usual. And there she was, lounging on the roof, legs dangling over the edge, cigarette forgotten between her fingers as she stared out at the city.
Jisung forgot how to breathe for a moment.
Soo-ah turned, and their eyes met.
An amused smile tugged at her lips. "Jisung, right?"
He nodded, throat suddenly dry.
His eyes flicked to the cigarette between her fingers. She held it up in a mock toast. Jisung shook his head. She just shrugged and took another drag, smoke curling into the cool morning air.
"We're paired for field work," Jisung finally managed, his voice tight.
Soo-ah didn't bother looking at him. "It's due today," he continued, but her eyes never left the city, exhaling a lazy stream of smoke.
Jisung clenched his fists, resisting the urge to lecture. Unbelievable. Someone actually thinks rules are optional.
Senior year mattered. It was the most important stage of Jisung's life, and he wouldn't let anyone interfere. Sleepless nights blurred into mornings, energy drinks stacked like trophies on his desk, and quick, ready-made meals had become the norm. Soo-ah barging into his carefully measured world? Unacceptable. He wouldn't let her—or anyone—derail the path he'd drawn toward the honours list.
"Can you cooperate?" Jisung gritted his teeth, nearly ready to tell the professor he could do the work alone.
Soo-ah's eyes flicked to his for a fraction of a second before a sly smirk curved her lips.
"Field work?" she mused, tapping the cigarette between her fingers. "Sounds boring."
Jisung's fists clenched tighter, nails digging into his palms.
It seemed to amuse her. She took one last drag from the cigarette, dropped it on the ground, and crushed it under her foot, flicking her heel off the ledge like it was nothing.
"What's in it for me?" she asked, eyes glinting with mischief.
"Grades?" Jisung shot back, looking at her like she'd lost her mind.
Soo-ah yawned lazily. Jisung pressed his tongue against the roof of his cheek, holding back the urge to snap.
"Fine," she said finally. Jisung felt like dropping to his knees and thanking whatever deity had bent her will even slightly.
"But only because you're pretty."
Jisung froze, jaw tight, as she sauntered past him, a smug little smile tugging at her lips.
Jisung froze when a backpack suddenly appeared on the desk of his chair.
He stared at the black bag as if it had been dropped by a mischievous ghost. Sliding into the chair beside it, he opened his laptop, trying to focus.
Soo-ah strolled in and plopped into his old chair without a word. She lazily scrolled through her phone, sucking on a lollipop, lips smacking in casual defiance. Jisung's eyebrow twitched.
Without putting her phone away, she glanced at him.
"You want one?" she asked, nodding toward the lollipop in her mouth.
Jisung shook his head quickly, eyes darting back to his laptop. The screen lit up, but a piece of paper caught his attention instead. He leaned back instinctively, squinting at the slightly crumpled sheet as he looked toward Soo-ah, who held it with effortless boredom.
"For your information," she said, standing and strolling out of the room without another word.
Jisung stared at the paper.
The field work paper. They got a perfect score.
Jisung was confused.
Yongbok couldn't help but snort at Jisung's expression.
"So what?" the blonde said, handing Jisung a fork. "It just shows that even if she's reckless, she's smart enough."
"How can someone who smokes on the roof during class hours be smart?" Jisung muttered, eyebrows furrowed.
"Stress relief," Yongbok replied between bites, shrugging as if it explained everything.
Before Jisung could fire back, Yongbok's phone buzzed on the table. The blonde shot a glance at him, mumbled an apology, and bolted out.
Jisung watched him go, then let out a long sigh, slumping back in his cafeteria chair. His eyes drifted to the paper once more, mind running over the perfect score, and for a moment, the chaos of the morning seemed to fade.
Jisung stood in line at the convenience store, glancing at his phone. Class started at nine; it was 8:30. No rush, he told himself, even as the queue crept forward.
His eyes flicked up. Long, black hair peeked out from the person in front of him. Soo-ah. Their eyes met.
She walked toward him, unwrapping a lollipop. "I didn't cut in line this time," she said, pressing the candy to her lips. "Aren't you late?"
Jisung froze. "No—"
She glanced at his phone. "Class started at 8."
Shit.
He dropped the energy drink and bolted, weaving between students, legs burning as he raced up two flights of stairs. By the time his hand hit the doorknob, he was panting.
The professor looked at him, unimpressed, before resuming the lecture. Jisung ducked into a front-row seat, head low, heat prickling his cheeks.
Jisung didn't see Soo-ah until lunch.
Yongbok couldn't join him, and Jisung didn't mind. He wasn't in the mood for the cafeteria anyway. All his classes were done for the day. Thank God it was Wednesday.
But he wasn't ready to go home yet. Assignments waited, and he knew he wasn't the most productive in his apartment. His feet carried him toward the library.
Freshman year, the library had been crowded and noisy. Now, silence reigned. A student or two sat scattered at tables, heads bent over laptops.
Jisung settled at a table near the back, laptop in hand, letting the quiet settle around him.
Jisung couldn't remember how long he'd been in the library. Headphones in, eyes fixed on his assignment, fingers flying over the keyboard, his expression steady.
Just as he reached into his backpack for his notebook, a soft tink made the table vibrate. He froze.
When he looked up, Soo-ah was standing there. Jisung blinked, eyebrows furrowed, wondering how she'd managed to find him.
His gaze dropped to the object she'd placed on the table.
The energy drink he'd meant to buy that morning.
Jisung didn't know what to feel. He blinked at the energy drink, then at her. "You... brought this here?" his voice was sharp, a mix of disbelief and annoyance.
She leaned against the edge of the table, her hair falling to the side as she tilted her head slightly. "Thought you might need it," she said. "You seemed stressed this morning."
Jisung really didn't know what to feel.
Without a word, she plopped into the chair across from him. His gaze flicked to the energy drink, hesitating before deciding whether to take it. From across the table, he could feel her eyes on him, though she made no effort to be subtle, scrolling through her phone as if he weren't even there.
Jisung sensed a shift in the air but couldn't put his finger on it. His eyes flicked to the energy drink, daring him from within arm's reach, as he muttered to himself, trying to focus on his assignment.
He didn't want to be disturbed that afternoon. The universe, however, seemed to have other plans.
𖦏
"Bokkie? Where are you?"
"I'm already home. Why? Are you okay?"
"No... I'm still— I'm still at the university—"
"Shit. I'm sorry, Sung-ah. I should've told you. I went home early because our professor didn't show."
Well, shit.
Jisung's eyes drifted to the heavy rain pouring outside. Students crowded the lobby, umbrellas clashing as they jostled for space. He stayed near the entrance, still sheltered.
"It's okay, Bokkie. I'm sure the rain will stop eventually," he said, unsure whether he was comforting Yongbok or himself.
"I'm sorry, hyung. I should've—"
"Yongbok-ah, it's fine. Really." Jisung hated how worried the younger boy sounded.
He tucked his phone away, adjusting his glasses that threatened to slide off the tip of his nose. He had forgotten his umbrella that morning; the forecast hadn't predicted rain, and honestly, who checked the weather daily anyway?
Jisung was screwed. It was rush hour, and there weren't any taxis in sight. His account balance wasn't enough to book one anyway, and his paycheck wouldn't clear for another week. Even if he tried, a regular taxi would probably rip him off.
He sighed, shifting from foot to foot, glancing at his phone as the minutes ticked by, each one making the problem feel heavier.
He heard a shuffle somewhere behind him.
He glanced back, black hair falling over his vision, before Soo-ah stood beside him, holding an umbrella above them. She didn't look at him or acknowledge him and stared at the rain that seemed to grow heavier with the minutes passing by.
"Where to?"
Jisung snapped his eyes to her, caught off guard. She shifted her weight, barely glancing at him. The casual tone in her voice made him hesitate, eyes flicking to the wet street.
"The subway," he said finally.
Without a word, she stepped forward, and he followed. The rain pounded harder against the umbrella, and Jisung shivered. Soo-ah's free hand stayed tucked in her pocket while the other held the umbrella steady above them. Side by side, they walked in silence, the quiet between them heavier than the rain.
"I find it funny you don't have an umbrella with you, considering how... you are," she said bluntly. Jisung felt his fists clench at his sides.
"I forgot it at home," he muttered.
Soo-ah hummed, lips twitching. "First time I've seen you unprepared."
The subway wasn't far from the university—maybe a five-minute walk if the streets weren't packed with people and umbrellas jostling each other. He should've known monsoon season was just around the corner.
Sneakers squeaking on the wet staircase, Jisung expected Soo-ah to walk off without a word. Instead, she snapped the umbrella closed and stayed by his side. He didn't speak, eyes fixed on his footing, wary of slipping.
After passing through the turnstile, he turned to glance back—only to see Soo-ah walking in the opposite direction. She must live south of here.
She blurred through the crowd, and before he could even process it, she was gone.
Jisung realised he hadn't thanked Soo-ah.
He remembered just as he stepped into his third class. His eyes scanned the room. Of course, she wasn't there yet. He dropped his bag in his usual chair and made his way toward the staircase leading to the roof.
Pushing the door open, he caught sight of her long black hair, back turned to him, the faint smell of cigarettes lingering in the air. He shoved his hands into his pockets, about to step forward—and froze.
What am I doing?
Why am I following her?
She spun around before he could think, a teasing smirk tugging at her lips.
"Following me now?"
Jisung forced his face into a neutral expression, stepping up until he stood before her.
"Thanks... for yesterday," he muttered, voice low, almost as if he didn't want her to hear.
Soo-ah raised an eyebrow and took another drag from her cigarette, lips twitching to keep the smoke from blowing in his face. Her hand slipped into her back pocket before she revealed a closed fist.
"Hand."
Jisung furrowed his brows, hesitant as he extended his hand, palm open.
The weight of the object dropped into his palm—a lollipop.
"So you won't feel left out," she said with a casual shrug.
Jisung stared at the lollipop. Strawberry-flavoured.
"I noticed you like strawberry-flavoured stuff," Soo-ah's voice cut through the silence. She turned, eyes drifting over the city, calm and casual, as if she hadn't just been late to class.
Jisung glanced at the back of her head, then carefully unwrapped the candy. He popped it into his mouth, crumpled the wrapper, and tucked it into his back pocket.
"You're welcome,"
Jisung's eyes snapped toward her.
A small smirk was now settled over her lips.
𖦏
There were days when Soo-ah wouldn't show up on time.
Not absent, just... late.
Sometimes she'd wander in during the last class of the day, other times when the first class was nearly over, and lunch loomed. Before, Jisung hadn't paid it much mind. It was her life, not his.
On particularly dull mornings, his eyes would drift across the empty room and notice her usual chair unoccupied. Thoughts would intrude, pulling him away from the lecture for a brief moment.
He would never forget the subtle stir he felt the day she stumbled in, a cut across her lip and a bruise faintly visible on her collarbone. He remembered straightening in his seat, heart tightening, as the professor froze in surprise.
She barely spared him a glance as she sank into the seat beside him.
Jisung's heart hammered in his chest.
It was rude of him to ask. They weren't even friends, and who was he to ask her what happened?
He did anyway after class.
"Are you... okay?"
Soo-ah looked at him, the faint glisten of saliva on her lip catching the light. Jisung's eyes scanned her face before lingering on the bruise, tinged faintly blue. She tugged at her loose shirt, jaw tightening as she sank further into the chair, the hum of students passing by fading into the background.
"Didn't pay on time," was her reply, voice rough.
Oh.
Jisung shifted in his seat, unsure of what to say as he closed his laptop.
"You should have it checked," he said, a bit too bluntly.
"And say what? 'Yeah, sorry I look like shit, I couldn't pay for a bag of coke'?" Her voice was low, but each word cut through the quiet of the room.
Jisung's throat went dry. She leaned back slightly, gaze hard, and continued, "I'd be kicked out faster than that girl caught banging some guy in the stairwell."
Jisung didn't know what else to say. He stood, mutely, and left, feeling her gaze burn into his back long after he'd turned the corner.
Later that day, he caught sight of her again—walking into the clinic, shoulders stiff.
At least she listened.
Jisung found himself on the rooftop more often than he'd like to admit.
It began with visiting once or twice a week, sometimes bumping into other students who were on their way out. He had only run into Soo-ah once or twice, and they haven't spoken since.
Once or twice a week became thrice, and the next thing he knew, he was up on the roof daily.
He never told Yongbok. They shared different schedules, only matching during lunch and a class that ended a bit too late for anyone's liking. Jisung visited the roof when he took bathroom breaks or when a professor couldn't show. It wasn't a daily occurrence, but he took the chance when he could.
"What're you doing here?"
Jisung spun around, eyes narrowing slightly as Soo-ah slid the heavy metal door closed behind her. She dug casually into her pocket, producing a single cigarette and a lighter, her movements effortless, as if the roof belonged to her.
He didn't reply.
She didn't ask again.
She stood beside him, two pairs of eyes overlooking the city as a small breeze blew past them. Jisung exhaled through his nose, unwillingly inhaling the smoke that curled past him.
Soo-ah flicked the ash from her cigarette, eyes still trained on the city below. After a moment, she glanced at him, lips twitching into a smirk.
"What makes you come up here now?"
Jisung shrugged, merely. "It's peaceful,"
He could feel her eyes on him. She shifted, her body now facing him.
"You're... predictable," she said, amusement lacing her tone. Then, almost imperceptibly, she gave him a small, genuine smile.
Jisung tried to mask his surprise with a blink.
"You're quiet, too," she observed, blowing a thin trail of smoke into the wind. "I figured someone like you would talk more... or maybe less," she added after a pause.
"Less," Jisung replied, eyes still focused on the distant buildings.
She chuckled. "Figured. You'd probably get yourself in trouble."
He tried to keep his tone steady. "Better safe than sorry,"
She leaned against the railing, one hand in her pocket, the cigarette dangling from her fingers. "You're boringly careful. I mean that as a compliment."
"I'll take it," Slipped past Jisung's lips before he could notice. His eyes met hers for a fraction, resisting the urge to smile at her teasing.
“Han Jisung!”
Jisung froze mid-step. So did Yongbok.
When he turned, Soo-ah walked up, shoulders loose, a lollipop perched between her lips. She stopped, pulled an energy drink from the pocket of her bag, and held it out without ceremony.
“Good luck with mid-terms.”
And just like that, she walked away.
Jisung stared at the can in his hand, heat prickling at the back of his neck. He didn’t need to look to feel Yongbok’s eyes burning into him.
“So…” Yongbok finally said, dragging out the word. “Want to tell me what that was?”
Jisung groaned.
The more Jisung hung on the roof, the more he crossed with Soo-ah. He'd sometimes find her on her phone, legs dangling, or smoking a cigarette— or weed. Jisung never interfered, keeping his distance as he would notice the way her nose twitched whenever she drew a fresh line.
The more they crossed paths, the more they talked.
He'd know she was there by the smell of cigarettes.
Jisung grew to learn about her, and as much as he didn't want to, Soo-ah knew more about him, too.
Despite her appearance and how she carried herself, Jisung couldn't help but find her intriguing.
How her long black hair framed her face, her features sometimes way too soft for her strong personality, how she managed to achieve good scores without being present in most classes.
Soo-ah was blunt, sometimes sharp enough to cut, yet she’d hand him a lollipop like it was the most casual thing in the world.
There were moments when they'd be on the rooftop at the same time, long enough for the cigarette smoke to fade into the breeze. Soo-ah leaned against the railing, eyes half-lidded, threatening to fall asleep, as Jisung stared across the buildings.
"Do you ever feel like..." she began, "like you're not really here? Like you're walking around, but no one actually sees you?"
Jisung searched her face for any sign of humour. None.
"...Sometimes," he admitted, voice low, letting the breeze fluff his hair. "I'm kinda used to it, people never really notice me unless I mess something up,"
Soo-ah gave a small, humourless laugh. "At least they notice you. If I disappeared for weeks, the only people who'd notice I'm gone are my drug dealers,"
Jisung shrugged, small. "That's... not true,"
"Oh yeah? Who'd notice?" she challenged, finally looking at him, eyes full of mischief.
"...Me," he said, surprising himself more than her.
The silence that followed was heavy, but not uncomfortable. Soo-ah’s lips curved— not in a smirk, not in mockery, but in the smallest, most fleeting smile.
"Careful, Han Jisung," she murmured, "you'll start sounding like a friend."
Jisung looked away. He didn't smile back, but he didn't deny it, either.
Jisung's words would soon turn out to be true.
Soo-ah didn't show up to class the next day.