Chapter Text
Bro was the only family you'd had your entire life. You never worried about the fact that other kids had two parents, other siblings, aunts and uncles. It was just you and Bro and even though he wasn't always your favorite person, you wouldn't have traded him for anything. You thought you noticed Bro's interest in the Psionic before he did, you saw him sit up a little straighter when you said Sollux was coming over. You didn't know much about him at first, but after asking a few of the other trolls they assured you that he was as mild as trolls came and wasn't likely to maul your brother if you left them alone.
Over months of him and Bro spending an increasing amount of time together you got to know him a little. He was quiet, and didn't speak unless spoken to first, it surprised you that Bro was even interested in someone like that. You had always pictured him picking someone more... obnoxious. More like himself in other words. If Psi had been a human he would be the same age as a high school student, and you weren't sure that Bro figured that out immediately.
Sometimes if you squinted your eyes you could see what attracted Bro to Psi in the first place. He wasn't too hard on the eyes, and when he was put in the right clothes you actually envied him a little. It was hard to take your eyes off of his, the faint luminescence was hypnotizing. It made you consider Sollux once but when he caught you staring he shocked you so hard your whole arm was numb for two days.
You never even thought about them becoming more serious until you came home one day and walked into your Bro's room unannounced. Instead of your brother you found Psi sitting cross legged on his bed. At first you didn't notice anything off, he wasn't acting any differently than normal. Then you noticed the bandage on his cheek, then the rest started to come into focus; he looked plain brutalized. His face was swollen and covered in strange mottled yellow bruises. You never asked either of them what happened, but you decided then that you were okay with him staying around on a more permanent basis.
You got used to keeping the curtains closed most of the time, and the lights being off in the apartment didn't mean that nobody was home anymore. After Christmas everything settled down and you finally realized that Psi probably wasn't going anywhere. Everything started feeling horribly domestic again except now you had an extra chair at the table. He was usually up in the mornings when it was time for you to go to school and you would sit across from him at the kitchen table and eat breakfast in the dark.
He would sit at the table with you and help you with your math homework when you asked him to. It was kind of sickening how easy math was for him; problems that took you half a sheet of paper to figure out he could do in his head with no discernible delay. You almost asked about it once before thinking that maybe you didn't want to know the answer.
One time in frustration you asked him to write it out for you, tossing the pencil into his hands. He hesitated until you pushed your paper closer to him and you didn't understand why until you watched him try to write. He had to arrange the pencil between his fingers with both hands, but his fingers shook and clenched erratically. He managed one jagged mark on the paper before dropping the pencil from between his fingers and picking it up with his psionics instead. You watched him ball his hands together in his lap while the pen moved on its own, he kept his eyes on the paper.
“I still can't always... get used to having fingers. Sorry.” he spoke carefully, like he had to focus on the math problem.
“It's fine.” it was all you could think to say and he gave a small nod before pushing the paper back over to you, dropping the pen next to it. It made you think about the last time you'd seen him actually pick something up with his hands, and you couldn't think of a specific time. You remembered the last time Bro asked him to help with dinner and he sliced his fingers open with a knife, it made so much more sense after seeing him with the pen. You had to wonder if Bro even noticed why.
“You could practice, would it help?” you offered, copying his work onto your own paper.
“I don't know. I can't tell if it's that I don't know how to use them anymore or if my hands are just bad.” he squeezed his hands together.
“One way to find out?” you fished around in your backpack on the floor until you found your unused notebook and dropped it in front of him with an extra pen. He eyed you, slightly surprised, and pulled the notebook into his lap.
“Thanks Dave.” he helped you finish the rest of your homework with the notebook held in his lap.
---
“I see an awful lot of green over there.”
“Who are you, the vegetable police? Get off my dick about it and bother him.” you gestured dismissively towards Psi who was directly across the table from you.
“I am an omnivore by choice, vegetables are not a necessary part of my diet.” Psi added.
“This system is corrupt, the enforcer is screwing the only impartial party.” you were debating the pros and cons of setting up a spoon catapult.
“Regardless of my relationship I remain impartial in saying that half an ounce of peas will not greatly influence your quality of life, for better or worse.” his nonplussed and entirely serious opinion on the matter surprised both of you into silence while he continued to eat his dinner.
“If he eats the peas I will.” you choked out. It wasn't that you were horribly against eating them, but if given the choice you would rather not. You knew your brother's cooking well enough to know when to abstain.
“It would not be my first preference, thanks.” Psi lifted his gaze long enough to give you a pointedly blank face.
“See, there. If you make me eat the peas you're making him eat them too.”
The argument was a draw and you were not forced to choke down mushy peas, for the first time in living memory. Even if he hadn't advocated directly in your favor, having Psi there gave you an out.
---
There was no reason for Bro to be suspicious yet but you slunk back into the apartment. The lights were out except for the kitchen so you headed there. Psi was sitting at the table messing with the guts of some electronics that you couldn't identify. Bro had been setting him up repairing DJ equipment from friends in exchange for a little money. It was not one of their secret arguments that Psi held guilt about not having any money to contribute and this was the temporary solution.
You dropped your backpack in the chair next to him but he didn't look up.
“Hello Dave.” he was quiet, neutral.
“Hey, could you sign this thing for me?” you were just hoping that it wasn't going to be too difficult to be nonchalant, maybe if you were lucky he wouldn't question it.
“Why?” he looked up, so much for not questioning it.
“It's just a thing that I need signed by a guardian for school.” you had the slip folded in half so just the signature portion was visible.
“Your brother is your guardian though.” he stopped what he was doing, eying the slip you were holding in front of him.
“Yeah but you're with him so you count too. That's how human relationships work, so you're like my brother-guardian in law.” you fished out a pen and gave it to him.
He looked back up to you but did not seem convinced.
“What is it for?” he took it and before you could bullshit something he flipped it over to read the other side.
“It's just a thing my teacher needs to see is signed. Bro isn't here right now is he?” you leaned out of the kitchen, straining to hear if the shower was going.
“He is not here, he will be back tomorrow morning. This says that you are failing in some sections of your education.” he stayed neutral, still better than what Bro's reaction would have been.
“Yeah, I'm working on it, it's just a stupid human educational system thing. My report card is going to be fine, it's just that for right now my grade is below a certain point. If you sign it Bro will never have to know and I swear I'll work my ass off so he doesn't.” it was undignified to beg, but if there was a remote chance you could get out of this you were going to take it.
“So you want to lie to him about it?” he was still reading the paper carefully.
“Lie of omission?” you knew this would never work.
“What about the 'parent teacher conference' part?”
“Shit, seriously?” you leaned over his shoulder to read. You had only seen the signature portion and assumed that was it, but it did indeed say that they wanted to talk to a parent in person.
“Do I count as a guardian even if I am not human? This paper does not elaborate on the definition of a 'guardian'.” he unfolded the paper with psionics and checked the blank back.
“Uh, sure. Yeah, I mean if you're willing to go outside to get to my school we could take care of it today and Bro would never know.” you checked the clock and it was still early enough that you could get back to the school before the teachers left.
To your everlasting surprise he agreed, and you weren't about to question it. He put on the hat that his troll mom made him that covered his horns and a pair of sunglasses before following you out the door. He had gotten better at hiding in public, with all his accessories (hat, glasses, hood, scarf, gloves) you could only tell he was gray if you looked really close. The glasses were dark enough to cover up the light glow his eyes put off, nobody looked twice on public transportation.
It was a short bus ride to the school and he followed after you inside, one hand hanging off a strap on your backpack like he would get lost if he didn't have a hold on you. Almost everyone was gone besides the delinquents in detention so nobody was around to see the alien shuffling along behind you down the halls. You surprised your adviser in the class room but she quickly stood and offered at hand to Psi.
“Are you his brother? I don't believe we've met before, I'm Miss Simmons.” she smiled pleasantly, suddenly all business when she wasn't yelling at you over grades.
“I am not his brother.” he hesitantly took her hand, still with the gloves on.
“He's my brother in law, but he's one of my guardians.” you were quick to add, maybe this wasn't going to work after all.
“Oh, I didn't realize that your brother was- well that you had two-” before she could say more she pulled her hand away from his abruptly, holding it close like she'd been burned. She leaned in a little closer, like she was afraid.
“You're not- oh gosh, you're kind of gray.” she put a hand over her mouth and stepped back, knocking into her chair.
“I was under the impression it would not be an issue.” Psi turned to face you, he sounded neutral but you could see his narrowed eyes illuminated from behind the sunglasses.
Despite the fact that your teacher was shaking like a leaf during the whole conference, it went well for you. She knocked her coffee mug off the side of her desk when Psi took his glasses off, and looked like she might have wet herself when it set itself back on the table. Psi didn't blink.
What might have normally been a half hour lecture on how to raise an unruly teenager ended up a ten minute lesson on hyperventilating. Psi didn't respond to her more than a nod of the head and the meeting ended with your teacher excusing herself, explaining that she really had to go right now.
“I think you broke her.” you sighed, getting up and flipping the lights out.
“Did I do something wrong?” he unfolded his sunglasses, putting them on in a way that screamed insecure.
“Nope, that was pretty much perfect.”
---
You caught them getting intimate on the kitchen table one night. They clearly weren't planning on you being back home until tomorrow and holy shit you eat food at that table. There wasn't enough brain bleach in the whole world to wipe away the memory of your brother's bare ass with a pair of wide glowing eyes peeking over his shoulder. You left the apartment without saying anything and didn't come back until the next evening.
The apartment was quiet and nobody said anything when you all sat down at the table to eat dinner. Bro cleared his throat.
“How was school.” he asked you with forced normalcy.
“Fine. Can we get a new table.”
Psi covered his face with one hand.
“Are you joking, we have memories with this one.” Bro hit it with one of his fists.
“More like memories on top of it.”
“Oh my god.” you could just barely hear Psi mutter it.
“Memories are memories.” Bro shrugged.
---
It was a few weeks before Psi could meet you face to face again, you almost felt guilty for walking in on them if he felt that bad about it. Bro had no such bashfulness, in fact he kind of like bringing it up just to watch to squirm.
Bro was in the shower when Psi came back and dropped a piece of mail into your lap on the couch. Report card time, you unfortunately had some concerns about the contents. As much as you had tried to do better your history teacher was fucking awful.
“Are those your grades?” he asked, depositing the rest of the mail in the kitchen.
“Maybe.” you hastily tore it open, grimacing a the contents. D's weren't going to do it.
“Not good?” he stood next to the couch, leaning over to read with you.
“I don't know how much you know about human grading systems, but anything past C in the alphabet isn't good.” you heard the water in the shower stop.
“What are you going to do?”
“Uh, prepare for impact? I'm so boned.” you could feel a headache coming on.
“I thought you were going to fix it.”
“I thought so too.” you groaned, so much for internet or social interactions for the next three weeks.
“Those your grades?” Bro walked out of the hall, blessedly wearing one of the larger towels.
“No, this is mine.” before you could think of a distraction Psi took the envelope from you. Bro looked confused but went to put clothes on after Psi told him to.
“What am I going to tell him?” you whispered, checking to make sure Bro was indeed gone for the moment.
“I don't know, what do you want to tell him?” he checked your report card, reading the back again like there was going to be anything written there. He looked at you very honestly and you were surprised, you had always had trouble thinking of him as anything more than you brother's boyfriend, but here he was on your side.
It was a little weird that he was asking you what you wanted to do here. Of course he knew that you didn't want Bro to know, but was he trying to get you to do the right thing or was this just a free offer to cheat?
“What if I wanted to change that D to a B and he never knows?”
“You have until tomorrow, go hide this.” he handed you the slip of paper back and you didn't need to be told twice.
---
You came home the next day with a freshly doctored report card and a box of Oreos stowed in your backpack. You slipped the report card in the pile of today's mail on the way up before nonchalantly tossing the stack in front of Bro and Psi on the couch. You exchanged a quick glance with Psi while Bro fished out the 'new' report card.
“Thrill me.” he tossed it at you, hitting you in the chest before it fluttered to the ground. You obliged him and put on a smug face when you 'first read' your grades, dropping it in his hands.
“Acceptable.” Bro monotoned and punched you in the shoulder.
---
You took your chances when Bro ran out for some sodas, heading down the hall and pressing on the door to your brother's bedroom.
“Psi?”
“Yeah?”
You took that as an invitation when unfortunately it was not, he was standing with his back to the door and his shirt on the bed. Bro had mentioned to you before why Psi was always very careful to stay covered in clothing, he had some scars to hide. You saw him once with a t-shirt on but he looked like he was ready to bury himself in the couch and never leave. The scars on his back were the same as the ones on his arm, just light rounds on his skin like big freckles. He twisted and met your eyes and for a second you were afraid, Sollux had threatened to laser eye you for less.
“Shit, sorry.” you took a step back and were ready to slam the door but he held his hand out and shook his head.
“It's okay, what did you need?” he hastily pulled his shirt back on, it caught on his horns for a second before he pulled it all the way down. It took him a few seconds to meet your eyes.
“I just brought you something to say thanks.” you grimaced, squeezing the corners of the box in your hands.
“Thank me for what?” he sat on the foot of the bed, back to being relaxed around you, it was a little surprising.
“For not telling on me and my shitty grades.” you dropped the box of Oreos next to him on the bed, standing in front of him.
“They're cookies, I thought you'd like them since they're black and white.” you felt like you were about five years old explaining it.
“I appreciate it Dave, but you don't have to thank me.” he picked the box up and inspected it in his lap before putting it back on the bed.
“I pretty much do, I know you probably don't like lying to Bro.”
“I wouldn't have helped you if it bothered me that much. Besides, I didn't really lie, I'm just not telling him the truth.” he looked up at you.
“Why did you help me anyways? Not that I'm not grateful, just... I don't really get it.” you forced your hands into your pockets, trying to pinpoint the familiarity you were feeling here.
“Just because your brother thinks that your educational trespasses deserve punishment doesn't mean that I do. I hope that you learned something even without the punishment though.” he leaned back on his hands, just a touch of a smile on his lips, enough that his fangs were just digging in to his lower lip.
“Oh man you are my alien space mom now aren't you.”
“I though I was your brother in law.” his expression changed to genuinely confused.
“Same difference.”