Chapter Text
Zoey combed through her bangs with her fingers while walking down the hallway. The neon lights were cold, and the walls were blank. Her sneakers were squeaking ever so little against the linoleum floor. The space was empty, and only a door closing could be heard in the distance, deeper in the building.
There weren’t any windows, but she knew it was dark outside. She had trained many hours after the official classes had ended in order to get better at the choreography all the trainees were practicing right now. Dancing didn’t come as naturally to her as writing and rapping did. So she had spent the last hours jumping around on her own in one of the training rooms that were open to book. Next week would be the next evaluation and she had to be prepared.
In the first moment after pushing the door of the training building open, the cold air felt like a relief on her skin. It was cooling down the layer of dried sweat. She adjusted the strap of her sports bag that was sitting across her chest. But as she was walking towards the illuminated bus stop, Zoey had to realize that the cold started piercing through her sweater, attacking her skin underneath. Although the way towards the bus stop wasn’t long, not even 200 feet, the wait for said bus could be longer. There were some cars passing on the street. It was past 11 PM, so the night bus service had already started, which meant that the line 143 drove every 30 minutes. Already freezing, Zoey didn’t even want to know how many minutes she had missed the bus by. She was physically exhausted while her mind was still working – as it always did.
Leaning against the front post of the little bus stop house, the charms on her bag jangled together. Zoey loved that noise. She buried her hands in the pockets on the side, trying to make her fists as small as possible so the cold couldn’t get to their core.
The girl couldn’t even remember if she had ever witnessed such low temperatures. In California, the seasons had never changed. Of course, it got a little cold in the winter months. But nothing that a hoodie, just like the one she was wearing right now, couldn’t fix. And every time she did leave to visit her mother in Seoul in the last few years, it was during the summer holidays. So no winter for her until now.
But the beautiful golden autumn in Seoul slowly but surely was turning. This very October night was the first sign of that. And Zoey was excited to experience this new season! Drinking warm beverages in cafes, maybe even strolling down a street during the first snowfall – okay, maybe a bit too much like a K-drama – and maybe at least some holiday decorations in the streets.
She cold really started to sink into her. There was nothing she could do about it. The little waiting room didn’t grant any protection. Time seemed to be passing painfully slowly. As she was scribbling down some ideas in her notebook, she could barely hold up the pen. Her fingers had gone numb. That was actually kind of scary.
In the periphery of her vision, she could make out another person approaching the bus stop. Curiously, her head shot towards them. It was a girl also coming from their training building. Another trainee. Someone who Zoey definitely knew by name – everyone did. She certainly didn't have to work on her poses until just now. After all, she was the best dancer among all the trainees.
Ahn Mira.
Her silhouette moved through the corridors of the building and entered rooms and everyone went quiet – even if just for a second. Only Celine - former Sunlight Sister and the woman in charge of this entire girl group project - could cause the same shift.
Zoey didn’t understand why some of the other girls threw concerned and even terrified glances at each other when Mira joined training sessions. Sure, her presence was palpable, but Zoey didn’t think she came of as rude – like other trainees had claimed in the dressing room. Not that Zoey had ever talked to her.
Right now, the same silhouette came to a halt on the other side of the bus stop, leaning against the glass wall deeper inside the little shelter. Zoey removed her gaze quickly. It would look weird if she stared any longer. And for God’s sake, she didn’t want to be any weirder. She was too shy to say hello. Zoey he was just a random girl to her. Mira was casually looking at her phone anyway.
Zoey instead looked up at the high-rise buildings. They shot into the sky and even illuminated the city at this late hour. In that moment, she noticed how she could see a little cloud form in front of her eyes. It was so cold that she could see her breath. She had only seen this in movies. Fascinated, although still freezing, she started breathing out more often, peeking at the frozen air forming. When her lung started feeling weird though, she immediately stopped. She couldn't get sick now.
It became unbearable by the minute. The cherry on top was that her headphones had run out of battery, so she had to freeze in silence.
Her body started reacting to the low temperatures in ways she couldn’t control anymore. She was shaking, and her ribs felt like they contracted every ten seconds or so.
“Choi Zoey, right?"
Zoey thought she was hallucinating – was that a part of freezing to death? Or maybe the sound of a car driving by had played some tricks with her lonely brain. Nevertheless, she lifted her gaze up and started looking around carefully. When her eyes drifted towards Mira, Zoey jumped a little.
Mira was looking straight at her. Almost like she had been standing there like this the entire time. Or at least Zoey didn’t witness her moving. But maybe her senses were already shutting down due to the cold.
Wait, did that mean that Mira spoke to her? And that she was waiting for an answer? Right now?
"What?"
That came out higher than Zoey intended. It sounded so dumb. How could Zoey make one single word sound so dumb? What if Mira didn’t talk to her, and now Zoey looked like a paranoid freak-
"You‘re Choi Zoey, right?" Not a single thing changed about Mira’s expression as she said this. To Zoey, it felt like a highly complex question. So huge and important that she almost forgot her own name.
"Oh. Yeah! But just Zoey is fine.”
Her last word was shaky from her ribs trembling. Wait, did she make it weird again?
She was still pretty new to Korean culture in day-to-day life since she had only officially moved here five months ago; right after high school graduation. So maybe it was inappropriate that she introduced herself by her first name? Zoey feared she had been accidentally rude again. At the same time, a thought crept up inside of her. Mira knew who she was? Even by name?
"Soo…Zoey, why are you freezing to death tonight?"
Mira continued talking to her in her deep, monotonous voice; when Zoey thought about it, it sounded more relaxed than anything else. So maybe Zoey hadn’t messed up?
Mira’s look went up and down her upper body – which was only covered by a light sweater. Mira on the other hand was wearing a puffer jacket.
"I guess I underestimated how cold it could get here.“ Zoey pressed her arms even stronger against her body. How naive she must have sounded… But she couldn’t change anything right now. She was the girl dressed way too light for an October night, pathetically freezing on the spot.
One side of Mira’s mouth moved up ever so slightly. Was she…smiling? At least a little bit? It was not like Zoey was keeping track, but she couldn’t remember a single instance during all of their eight hours of training when Mira had smiled or even laughed. At least outside of a quick professional glance at the end of a performance.
"You’re from the States. From a warm region, I guess?”
Wow, that girl was spitting facts. Zoey was getting caught up in this thing that was turning into a real conversation.
"Yeah! California. Burbank, to be exact. It’s in the Los Angeles area but not actually a part of it-”
She needed to hold herself back. Enthusiastic, verbal outbursts had cost her most of her potential friends within the first two minutes of every conversation in her life.
"How'd you know that?" Yeah, maybe she should start asking questions as well. That was considered nice. And she was curious.
"You have a bit of an accent.“ Mira’s breath turned visible as well as she said that. There was no judgment in her voice whatsoever.
Right. Zoey would always be spotted as different from a mile away. She would forever be considered a foreigner in both the US and Korea.
"Oh, right…"
Embarrassed that she had been surprised by Mira's findings, she tightened her arms around her body. Maybe that would help a little. The cold was taking over her face, creeping from her outer cheeks towards her lips and nose. Mira must have sensed some of her thoughts.
"It’s not, like, super heavy."
She brushed a strand of her pink hair out of her face, which had gotten caught in her lip gloss.
"Only during some of your rap parts in Korean." Her rap parts? Mira was listening to them during the test performances?
Zoey had so many questions in her mind. Fortunately, the surprise couldn’t show on her face like it would normally do thanks to her muscles turning more numb every second.
„Hopefully, people just understand—“
Ironically, Zoey’s words were cut off by a sudden irritation in her throat. She started coughing into her sleeve, briefly enjoying the warm sensation of the soft fabric covering her nose. When the urge had gone away and she let the cold air fill up her lungs again, she lifted her head.
Mira was standing right in front of her. Did that girl make any sound when she moved?
Zoey only now grew aware of their height difference. Mira was about five inches taller – and now looking down at her. In a precise and careful motion, she removed her right hand from her pocket and wrapped it around Zoey’s exposed wrist. Her touch was gentle yet direct. She didn’t let go when her eyes fixated on Zoey’s, before scanning her face.
„You are actually freezing to death right now.“
Mira was definitely right. There was no denying it. Zoey should have simply known better. This wasn’t California. She needed to take this whole seasons thing more seriously.
But right now, she felt warm inside. She didn’t know why – Zoey was hoping that this wasn’t a sign of that stage of freezing to death where people were starting to believe that they were burning alive – she simply did. Mira still hadn’t moved an inch.
"You’ll take my jacket."
It was like Mira had just declared a national law with those words. No hesitation, no going back. She just did her duty and took off her jacket. Zoey grew nervous and her voice became higher.
"No, don’t do that! The bus will be here any minute now, and by Apgujeong station I’m all warmed up again. Trust me!”
Trying to sound as nice and carefree as possible, Zoey held up her hands. She wanted to press Mira back by her knuckles but was hesitant to simply touch her. She still seemed so distant. It would feel as if she were breaking a completely different law. Mira’s gaze simply switched between Zoey’s honest face and the jacket she was placing down on her shoulders. Mira was only wearing a form-fitting long sleeve.
"Then you are cold too! Who needs two cold girls when you can have only one?” Desperately, Zoey was trying to convince the girl in front of her. But she had already made up her mind. Zoey’s last resort would be escaping this situation physically, and god knows she didn’t want to do that.
"You’re funny." Mira adjusted the collar of her jacket around Zoey's neck.
She felt relieving warmth around her upper body. Zoey’s senses were telling her that this was right. So she didn’t know what to say – which never happened to her.
She was right about the bus, though. As soon as Mira stepped away, it appeared like a knight in shining armor on the side of the road. Before she had realized it, she was on the bus with Mira.
"Thank you. For the jacket."
Mira simply nodded and looked out of the window again.
Zoey only now started to put her arms through the sleeves. She enjoyed the moment of silence where the bus’ motor was the only noise humming peacefully in the night. The almost rhythmic pauses of the vehicle stopping and driving calmed her down.
"Are you also headed to Apgujeong station?"
It was a genuine question for Zoey but might have come across as small talk. Mira turned away from the passing image of the city. The colourful streetlights reflected on the right part of her face. She looked at Zoey for a second. The black-haired girl already sensed that she had spoken a word too much. She feared that her time was up. Mira simply nodded.
A few minutes later, they descended down the stairs to the station. They had reached the platform and saw that they had to wait a few minutes for the next train towards Ogeum station. Zoey didn’t know if she should say something. The silence between her and Mira didn’t feel wrong. And although Zoey wasn’t intimidated by Mira's demeanor – she was, in fact, simply intimidated by everyone in the beginning – she didn’t want to step into her personal space. The dancer was pretty closed off already. Mira didn’t seem to have similar concerns.
"What were you doing so late in the building? Practcing the song?”
Her voice was as monotonous as always, but Zoey swore she could spot some genuine curiosity in those words. Or maybe it was wishful thinking. But having an opportunity to talk to Mira further – and a reason to look at her as well from up close – wasn’t something Zoey wanted to pass on.
"Yeah, I did the choreography! Sometimes, I still don’t know what to do with my arms and legs.” She laughed nervously. But not only was she returning to her ideal body temperature, she was also getting more comfortable in this situation.
"What about you?"
She really was wondering what Mira had been training on since she was the one who had set the standard for the choreography. Zoey started playing around with her teal turtle bag charm. It was relaxing.
"I worked on the vocals."
Zoey simply nodded understanding. Their train was arriving. When they sat down in a nearly empty train car, Mira spoke seemingly out of nowhere.
"I could help you."
For a second, Zoey couldn’t make the connection.
"With the choreo?"
Mira nodded.
“But aren’t we like… in competition?” Zoey really didn’t like seeing it that way. With any of the girls. It was the harsh truth, yes, but the thought of it made her mind race even more. But when she thought about what Mira just proposed to her…she couldn’t believe it. Mira started to explain.
„Yeah. But my focus is obviously on dancing. And yours is on rapping. The two spots left for that group wouldn’t be filled with two girls from the same field.”
That sounded logical to Zoey. Everyone was aware that this was going to be a trio – just like the Sunlight Sisters were. And this group would be built around one of the former member’s very talented daughter: Rumi.
In this early stage of training, with still over thirty girls in the race, no one had officially met Rumi let alone trained with her. She sometimes walked through the halls of the training building alongside Celine. Zoey was suspecting that the girl with the long braid had at least some say in final decisions.
Mira continued with her deduction.
"So theoretically, we aren’t competition for each other. You have your strengths, and I have mine. Besides – wouldn’t it be a shame if someone with the talent of yours couldn’t dance properly? For the spirit of music and all?”
Zoey was still processing when she stumbled across the fact that Mira had just complimented her. She was speechless. Flabbergasted. Heat rose up her cheeks.
Ahn Mira, more of a mystery than an actual person until mere minutes ago, had called her talented. Her. Little weird, Zoey. Who was always too much when she didn’t want to be and not enough when she desperately needed to be. Her train of thought must have been written all over her face.
"But of course we’d have to do an exchange: I tutor you for the dance parts while you help me with the vocals."
Mira’s vocals were good. There still were some girls in the program with more range and experience, sure. And Rumi was supposed to sound otherworldly. But Mira made up for that with her dancing and her overall powerful presence. There was a silent agreement that you couldn’t point out any flaw about Mira. May it be her abilities or her looks.
And her strangely working – but really effective – charm, if you’d ask Zoey. Her blunt way of speaking was the most efficient persuasiveness she had ever witnessed.
"So are you in?"
Confidently, Mira sat next to Zoey with the hands in the pockets of her sweatpants, waiting for an answer. And there was only one right answer even possible for Zoey.
"I already have 26 ideas for how we could go about this.“ She smiled widely.
Zoey’s head was getting creative. All these scenarios and possibilities popped up inside of her that she couldn’t hide her enthusiasm. The two girls looked into each other's eyes. Mira’s hypnoticing gaze made her even more dazed with happiness.
"I want to hear the top five tomorrow."
Suddenly, Mira rose up from her seat. Simultaneously, the announcement for the Daechi station sounded through the speakers.
"Keep the jacket for your way home. I live right by the station.”
Mira said it so casually, as if she hadn’t just witnessed Zoey turning into an icicle half an hour ago. Zoey inhaled in order to speak but stopped herself. She didn’t protest. There seemed to be no arguing with Mira. And at that point, her mouth simply gained independence from her head.
"Why do you do that for me?" Zoey was confused.
It was both the jacket and the help at training. She had felt accepted in the last few minutes but couldn’t explain why that would happen to her. Why was Mira – that Mira – so generous towards her when she didn’t even exchange real looks with everyone else at the program?
The train slowed down more and more as it approached the platform. Mira stood in front of the door while Zoey remained seated. The doors opened automatically, letting a cold breeze inside the train car. Mira stepped out before turning around to Zoey again. And there it was.
A smile as clear as it could be.
"You didn’t deny that you were freezing. Everyone would have played it down.”
A pause came to be that would turn out to be meaningful years later. But right now, the doors closed behind Mira, and the train started moving, bringing more and more distance between her and Zoey.
The dark-haired girl left the subway through the same door at Suseo Station a few minutes later. She walked home and wasn’t feeling cold.
Not only was that Zoey’s first ever winter night. The night when her palms and her face froze for the first time. No. It was also the first time her heart froze for a second as well, before heating up and beating even faster when looking at her.
Ahn Mira.