Chapter Text
It was the year After Colony 207. Heero sat at the outermost side of his covered deck, the small fire in his above ground fire pit provided ample warmth alongside the blankets, coat, and hat he wore. It was a cold, bitter January, but it was dry. The last few winters had seen decreased snowfall, which didn’t aid his mood in the slightest. He adored the peace and quiet that came with snow. You couldn’t quite find peace like it in the busy city life he knew. Summer was much too loud for him. At least in the winter, people stayed indoors and in their own worlds.
He looked around at his fenced in backyard in the big, beautiful house he now owned before turning back to the stars above in the night sky. His life, from the outside, looked perfect. He was in the best shape of his life, ate well, had a reliable car, a sport bike, and a prestigious job with the Preventers. He lived in a quiet suburb filled with old people in a town across the water from the Sanc Kingdom.
His home was large and spacious. It stood two stories tall and had a small porch for each level on the front, with a covered deck he sat on in the back. It was a charming, light blue home with white trim and had a wonderfully deep attached garage. The yard wasn’t too large, which allowed for easy upkeep, and the old folks loved him. It also made for easy community living that was minimally invasive, yet supportive. However, each grandma of the neighborhood wanted him to marry her granddaughter, but he simply wasn’t interested.
It had been ten years since Duo disappeared out the window in their shared apartment in a city far from where he settled now. He recalled the events leading up to it. They celebrated their first true Christmas after the Eve wars at Quatre’s house. It was a rather fun night with an exquisite dinner. Christmas had always held a special place in Heero’s heart with the fond memories his mother and stepfather had created for him. And he was incredibly excited to spend Christmas with Duo.
But all that changed when he woke up to an empty, freezing room and a window wide open. At first, he thought that Duo had been abducted. He tore apart the house looking for him, panic setting in as he called Quatre. Before he knew it, a search between the four remaining pilots was on. It only took a few hours, however, for Heero to realize that Duo had run away and why. It was all thanks to one comment Heero made the night before.
“I love you.”
It took shoving aside deep seated trauma with love for Heero to admit that. He had worked with his therapist to get himself to that point and it was all for naught. His family he had loved immensely, either died when he was young or had now, disappeared. He worked so hard in the prior year to work on expressing the emotions he was encouraged to smother and it had blown up in his face. He scared away the one he truly loved most in this world and all he could do was shut down in self-preservation. Apparently, wars weren't the only thing he could end and it did a number on his health for the first three years.
But before he knew it, his position at the Preventers and his title of Prince of Peace paid off. It earned him his Earth residency in the Fall of AC197 and a house five years after Duo left. Relena, Zechs, and the Preventers had done their best to keep Heero’s face out of the limelight, much to his satisfaction, but his name was still known throughout the occupied solar system. Peace had been maintained and he was a decorated veteran.
There were small squabbles with local gangs, some drug busts. He knew he was an over glorified cop, but it brought him stability he so desperately needed. It paid for a roof over his head, a meal in his stomach, and enough to travel and enjoy his hobbies. He was eternally grateful to them for that.
But it all felt so empty without those vibrant, expressive eyes and loud voice echoing the halls. He had so many wonderful things in life that he worked so hard for, but it didn’t feel quite right without Duo around. A piece of all the pilots had gone missing that day, but Heero knew Duo took the largest piece from him.
He had spent the entire ten years searching for any trace of Duo, but he knew he could barely keep up with the stealth operative with the moniker of the God of Death. He had searched what felt like the entire Earth and every colony, but he lost the scent on every trail he had. All logic and reasoning in his brain was screaming that Duo was dead and he needed to move on. That he was never coming back and one day, one of the Preventers agents might stumble across his body. If there was a body.
But his heart and soul screamed otherwise. They screamed not to give up and that Duo was out there somewhere. He knew Duo had better self-preservation tactics, but he also knew how cruel the world and humans could truly be.
To top it off, nightmares and eye pain started the year prior. In the nightmares, all he could hear were screams of terror and fear. With the only senses he could feel were pain and falling from a great height. His eyes stung, especially along the small scar across the bridge of his nose. Some days, the pain was so intense he would call out of work with what he could only describe as a migraine.
And because of all this, his health was slipping. He often missed shifts or deadlines, made rookie mistakes on missions and could barely handle socializing anymore. Every doctor’s visit or specialist he tried came up with no answers and only a prescribed bottle of eyedrops. At some point, he had given up on science helping him entirely.
Une had given him plenty of chances and was more considerate of his situation, being a war veteran as well. It was a stark contrast to the cold, ruthless Une he met over a decade ago, and he was glad he served under this Une.
Lady Une had come a long way once she received help from her multiple personality disorder. She was still strict and firm, but she was more compassionate toward humanity and compassionate about everyone’s circumstances. And Heero knew she was aware of how badly Duo leaving had hurt him.
At one point, it had nearly killed him three years ago. One summer day, while he was out riding his first bike, something snapped in him and he decided he had enough misery. He intentionally crashed his bike, although he would never dare admit that to anyone, and ended up in the hospital with a broken body. Even Iria, Quatre’s older sister and a doctor, had wondered how he didn’t die. He was still the human equivalent of a cockroach that just couldn’t die, even when his main reason to strive for excellence was gone. He tried to pull the metaphysical curtain of the spiritual plane aside to find Duo, but couldn’t even get a grasp on it.
Out of kindness or pity, Heero couldn’t tell, but Quatre had secretly arranged for some of the remnant Gundanium from Wing Zero to be fitted to a new bike. When Quatre went with Heero to pick up the new machine, it was a welcome sight that made Heero misty-eyed. He and Quatre had grown exceptionally close through the years, and he was thankful he had the support of his brother-in-arms all these years. It was a gift he truly treasured.
Heero let out a resigned sigh and got up from his chair. He folded the blanket neatly in his arms and smothered the fire. The back door to the home slid open easily and he quietly stepped in, shutting it and locking it behind him. He locked down his house and drudged up the stairs and into his bedroom.
Sparing a long look at part of the sensor that came from Wing Zero’s V-fin, peace washed over him. Wing Zero was a weapon, but over time, he grew to love the mech as a friend. He mourned the final disintegration while in the atmosphere even to this day. The days of Gundams were gone, but that didn’t mean Wing Zero had to disappear with it. Every pilot had something of the remnants of their Gundam. His hand gave a gentle pass over the broken glass and he turned away to get ready for bed.
His head hit the pillow and he pulled the covers tightly over him. If he let himself surrender enough, he knew he could indulge in the delusion that Duo was beside him. But, he knew that wouldn’t benefit anyone. So he fell asleep and slipped right back into the dreams of falling from the sky, like he did out of the Alliance hospital, but unlike back then, death never came for him.