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The Sad Singles' Summer Vacation

Summary:

“Fancy seeing you here,” Someone with a familiar voice said. Kenma looked around Akaashi to see that it was Komori Motoya who’d spoken. He and Sakusa were sitting at the table in the corner, Komori with a friendly grin and Sakusa with the same glare he wore most of the time.

“Yes, hello,” Akaashi replied, getting over his momentary surprise. “Are you not staying with the team?” He asked Sakusa as they sat down at a nearby table.

“No,” The spiker responded bluntly.

Komori cupped his hand around his mouth as if telling a secret but didn’t bother to whisper, “He’s avoiding the guy he’s in love with.”

“Small world,” Kenma snorted.

Komori and Sakusa both raised an eyebrow and, for the first time, Akaashi could see their relation.

“We’re doing the same thing,” Akaashi admitted.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Keiji Akaashi

>> Kenma, I need you to go on a vacation with me next month.

Kenma Kozume

why?? <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> Because I need an excuse not to go on vacation with Bokuto-san.

Kenma Kozume

again, why? <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> He invited me to go on the team’s vacation to a hot spring resort in Okinawa. 

>> Under no circumstances can I go to a hot spring with Bokuto-san.

Kenma Kozume

okay yeah, don’t want you getting a boner in front of every single msby player <<

but why do i have to go with you? <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> You didn’t have to just say it like that…

>> I don’t know who else I’d ask, honestly.

>> And I’ve already checked, Kuroo has important meetings that week so you could get some time away from him too.

>> Besides, I know neither of us is getting enough sleep or eating well. I’m sure we could both use a vacation.

Kenma Kozume

okay fair, damn <<

he’s somehow been extra doting lately… <<

how am i supposed to deal with him combing my hair and rubbing my back without kissing him??<<

Keiji Akaashi

>> So you’re in?

Kenma Kozume

… <<

yeah i guess so <<

where are we going? <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> We can still go to Okinawa. We’ll just stay somewhere else and go to a different beach. Bokuto-san has already sent me their whole itinerary.

Kenma Kozume

poor guy definitely wasn’t expecting you to use it to avoid him <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> It’s in the best interest of us both.

Kenma Kozume

alright im down, let’s avoid the men we’re in love with together <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> Perfect. Thank you.

 

“Remind me why we decided to come to somewhere so sunny?” Kenma asked as they rolled their suitcases from the taxi to their hotel, “We hate the sun.”

“I don’t hate the sun,” Akaashi said.

“Well the sun hates you,” Kenma muttered.

“Are you ever going to let me forget that?” Akaashi asked, remembering the sting of the bright red sunburn he’d gotten on the back of his neck running up and down the mountain at the Fukurodani group training camp their first year. 

“Nope.” 

 

Akaashi did manage to drag Kenma to a beach where they rented two chairs under a big umbrella. 

“That’s quite the hat,” Kenma snorted, looking at the wide brimmed fishing hat Akaashi was wearing.

Akaashi ignored him.

“And the sandals. Were you going for the dad look?”

“And were you going for snotty teenager?” Akaashi retorted, pointedly looking his friend, dressed in slides and an oversized Bouncing Ball sweatshirt, up and down.

The both laughed in that subdued way of theirs, just an amused exhale through the nose, and continued to their spot on the sand.

Kenma played on his Switch while Akaashi read a novel that had been collecting dust on his shelf for months now as all of his time and mental bandwidth had gone to his job as an editor. But, only a chapter and a half in, Akaashi had to put down his book and check his continuously buzzing phone. 

 

Kotaro Bokuto

The fairy just parked!! <<

It’s so pretty and sunny!!! <<

I wish you were here with us 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 <<

But I bet you and Kenma are having so much fun!! << 

[1 image: a selfie of Bokuto and Hinata smiling at the camera. Atsumu smirks at the camera behind them, giving a peace sign, while the rest of the team is clearly more occupied with making <<

sure everyone and all of their luggage is accounted for. ]

Keiji Akaashi

>> It’s a ferry, not a fairy.

>> Are you wearing sunscreen, Bokuto-san?

Kotaro Bokuto

But a fairy is so much more fun!!! <<

Yes! I remembered to put it on before we left this morning! Aren’t you proud of me?! <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> Yes, very proud.

>> But you should reapply before you go to the beach or spend any more time outside.

Kotaro Bokuto

You got it! 🫡 <<

I miss you Akaaaaaaashi! <<

 

Akaashi grinned at his phone before putting it back in his pocket. 

“Simp,” Kenma muttered without even looking up from his switch. 

They walked down the little street just past their hotel, peering into shop windows on their way to the restaurant Kenma picked out. 

“Go ahead and seat yourselves,” The hostess told them with a smile. They made a beeline for a corner where tables were less crowded. Kenma, who was just following his friend as he lurked in the Kodzuken Discord group on his phone, ran right into Akaashi’s back.

“Huh?” 

Akaashi didn’t answer, still apparently slightly stunned. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Someone with a familiar voice said. Kenma looked around Akaashi to see that it was Komori Motoya who’d spoken. He and Sakusa were sitting at the table in the corner, Komori with a friendly grin and Sakusa with the same glare he wore most of the time. 

“Yes, hello,” Akaashi replied, getting over his momentary surprise. “Are you not staying with the team?” He asked Sakusa as they sat down at a nearby table. 

“No,” The spiker responded bluntly. 

Komori cupped his hand around his mouth as if telling a secret but didn’t bother to whisper, “He’s avoiding the guy he’s in love with.”

“Small world,” Kenma snorted. 

Komori and Sakusa both raised an eyebrow and, for the first time, Akaashi could see their relation. 

“We’re doing the same thing,” He admitted. 

“Bokuto?” Sakusa asked, looking practically into Akaashi’s soul while Komori snickered. 

“Yeah,” He sighed. 

The way Sakusa squinted made it look like there was something he wasn’t saying. Akaashi decided he didn’t want to know what it was, so he turned back to Sakusa’s cousin. “How ‘bout you?”

“Oh, I’m just here to keep him company. I’m not avoiding the person I like.”

“But you do like someone?” Kenma asked.

“I have some prospects,” Komori said with a crooked grin, “And you’re avoiding…?”

“Tetsuro Kuroo,” Kenma answered begrudgingly. 

It was painfully clear how long it was taking the Itachiyama alumni to put a face to Kuroo’s name, probably because Nekoma only went to nationals his last year, despite the two teams being from the same region. 

“I believe it’s your turn,” Akaashi said to Sakusa.

“Absolutely not.”

Komori did the same fake whisper act, “He’s avoiding Atsumu.”

You have a crush on Atsumu Miya?” Kenma asked, obviously amused. 

“Unfortunately.” 

“Come join us,” Komori said, “We’ve only ordered drinks so far.”

So they pushed their tables together. Akaashi and Komori kept up polite conversation while their companions offered little more than the occasional snarky comment. 

All in all, the additional company was welcome and appreciated. Even Sakusa seemed to get his mind off of whatever was making him so irritable.

 

Kotaro Bokuto

I LOVE THE BEACH!! <<

[3 images: A selfie of Bokuto, shirtless standing waist deep in the ocean, a dazzling smile on <<

his face. A picture of the ocean and dog running across the sand with a frisbee. A picture of the whole team on the beach, Hinata jumping high above everyone’s heads in the back, Atsumu lying on his side on the sand and shooting a finger gun at the camera, and Bokuto with his arms around his teammate’s shoulders, smiling so wide it made Akaashi’s chest ache. ]

Wish you were here though! <<

And I remembered to reapply my sunscreen! <<

Do you think I can get as tan as Shoyo? <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> Hinata-kun spent two years in Brazil to get that tan. I doubt you’ll end up quite that tan in a few days.

>> We ran into some friends :)

>> [1 image: A selfie that Komori took of the four of them outside the restaurant, Kenma and Sakusa don’t bother to smile, but Kenma has thrown up a peace sign .]

Kotaro Bokuto

OMG!!!! <<

That’s so fun! <<

Tsum-tsum’s gonna be so mad when he finds out Omi-kun ditched us for a different vacation lol <<

Are you gonna keep hanging out with them? <<

YOU SHOULD PLAY TWO ON TWO BEAHC VOLLEYBALL!! <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> I don’t think that would be a very fair game lol. Kenma and I haven’t played seriously in years.

Kotaro Bokuto

But you’d be on different sides anyway since your both setters! <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> That’s a good point. But Komori-kun is a libero, he’s not usually allowed to spike.

Kotaro Bokuto

Fiiiiiiiiiiiine <<

It’d still be fun though! <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> We’ll see.

>> You’re going to get to play some beach volleyball, right?

Kotaro Bokuto

Yes!!! <<

Shoyo’s gonna teach me how to jump on sand! My protege has come so far 😭 <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> That’ll be really fun. 

 

Tetsuro Kuroo

How’s the vacay, kitten? <<

Kenma Kozume

>> fine. 

Tetsuro Kuroo

Are you surviving without a full multi-monitor desktop setup? <<

Kenma Kozume

>> yes. all my games that need daily check ins are on switch luckily

Tetsuro Kuroo

Lol <<

Has Akaashi gotten sunburned yet? <<

Kenma Kozume

>> worse

Tetsuro Kuroo

Lamo, what? <<

Kenma Kozume

>> [1 image: A sneaky picture of Akaashi reading, capturing his full dorky dad fit complete with his (prescription) sunglasses up on his hat and white sunscreen visible on his nose. ]

Tetsuro Kuroo

BAHAHAHAHAH <<

I can’t believe Bo’s in love with that dork <<

Kenma Kozume

>> and that akaashi hasn’t caught on yet

Tetsuro Kuroo

So smart, yet so dumb <<

You going to bed soon? <<

Kenma Kozume

>> maybe…

Tetsuro Kuroo

Come on, Kenma! This was supposed to be for you to rest and recharge! You need to sleep <<

for eight consecutive hours

Kenma Kozume

>> 4AM to noon is 8 hours…

Tetsuro Kuroo

🙄 <<

Well it’s MY bedtime (because I have a normal human sleep schedule) <<

Goodnight, kitten <<

Kenma Kozume

>> night

 

Kenma let his phone fall face down on his chest and sighed. 

“I miss him and it hasn’t even been a whole day.”

“And you call me a simp,” Akaashi replied, not looking up from his book. 

“If anyone’s a simp it’s him which is so not fair. If he’s gonna be a simp, the least he could do is love me back.”

Akaashi didn’t have to say anything because they’ve had this conversation before. All he did was look at his friend in the other hotel bed from the corner of his eye.

“Belive me, it’s not romantic for him. He’s just liked to take care of me since we were little. You haven’t seen him when he has a crush, it’s nothing like the way he treats me.”

Akaashi kept up his pointed silence. 

“Want me to list all the ways you’re a hypocrite?” Kenma snapped with no real malice. 

“Bokuto-san is just as affectionate with you and Kuroo as he is with me.”

“That is literally not true.”

“He and Kuroo kissed!”

“During truth or dare!”

Akaashi hmphed. He didn’t have to look over to the other bed to see the way Kenma was silently laughing at him. 

“We really should try not to think about them too much,” Akaashi suggested, resigned, “That’s why we’re here after all.”

Kenma nodded. “That’s why I downloaded a new game to get absorbed in while we’re here.”

Akaashi almost chided him for his escapism, but remembered that half of his suitcase was filled with books for just that reason and stopped himself. 

“But, of course, one of the characters has to look just like him,” Kenma muttered, making them both laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. 

 

Atsumu Miya

OMI-OMI <<

SAKUSA KIYOOMI-OMI <<

YOU SAID YOU HAD FAMILY STUFF NOT THAT YOU’RE GOING ON A VACATION WITHOUT US!!! <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> I’m spending time with Motoya. He’s family.

Atsumu Miya

YOU SEE HIM ALL THE TIME! <<

HOW DARE YOU DITCH US 😡😡😡😡😡 <<

omiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, don’t ignore me while you ditch me 😭😭😭 <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> Do you really think I wanted to soak in a soup of bacteria with you?

Atsumu Miya

but they keep the hotspring really clean! <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> Like you would know that

Atsumu Miya

i do!!! <<

i researched this place ahead of time and even called to make sure they clean it really well 🥺 <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> Still. Most people don’t go on vacation with their coworkers

Atsumu Miya 

fine. <<

are ya havin fun? <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> It’s not bad. Motoya is dragging me around

Atsumu Miya

not bad is pretty high praise from you omi-omi 😉 <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> Whatever

>> Is the team enjoying themselves?

Atsumu Miya

of course! <<

[3 images: The same group photo on the beach. A selfie of Atsumu lying on a beach chair, his signature smirk under his sunglasses and his arm behind his head in a way that makes his bicep pop, <<

all of his exposed skin glowing golden under the sun. A picture of Atsumu, Hinata, and Bokuto doing a Charlie’s Angels pose in towels in front of the entrance to the hot spring. ]

we all miss yer prickly ass though! <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> Sure

 

Sakusa spent too long looking at the pictures Atsumu sent before replying. He’d seen Atsumu half naked more days than he hadn’t in the past few years, but he rarely got the opportunity to stare like this, stickler for locker room etiquette that he is. Atsumu’s pecs were so round and literally glistened with a sheen of moisture—from sunscreen and sweat on the beach and steam in and around the hotspring—and his muscular waist was so grabable. 

“Stop drooling,” His cousin scolded him, stepping back into the room from his shower.

“I’m not drooling,” Sakusa snapped back, pretending like he hadn’t just been totally caught metaphorically drooling if not physically. 

Komori turned Sakusa’s phone towards himself and swiped through the photos Sakusa had been staring at. “Damn, he really just sends you thirst traps, huh?”

“I told you!” Sakusa rolled over and buried his face into his pillow (that he brought from home). His phone buzzed again and Sakusa practically jumped to take it back. 

 

Atsumu Miya

g’night omi-omi <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> Night

 

Komori watched his cousin pull the corners of his mouth together in an attempt not to smile at the goodnight text. He just shook his head and went to his own bed. 

 

The next morning, Akaashi invited Komori and Sakusa to join them in town to go to a little cafe and the even littler book shop next to it. Akaashi had never had a full one-on-one conversation with Sakusa Kiyoomi before. Being perfectly honest with himself, after Bokuto graduated, he was a little intimidated by the spiker who’d been in the top 5 alongside (and, at one point, above) Bokuto as a second year. But, wandering the shelves at the beach-themed book shop, they struck up a pleasant conversation where Akaashi learned that, to his surprise, Sakusa was a romance reader. 

They returned to their friends at the cafe with new books in tow. 

“Good haul?” Komori asked.

Sakusa just nodded as he set down his bag of new books and then made a beeline for the counter for another coffee. 

“How goes the game?” Akaashi asked Kenma who had let all of the ice in his coffee melt in favor of gaming. 

“Good.”

“Have you figured out if you can romance the Kuroo character?”

Kenma looked up from his switch to glare at him. Only when he looked back down at his gaming system did he admit, “No.”

“A Kuroo character you say?” Komori chimed in, his interest peaked. 

“He just looks like him,” Kenma said, frowning, “His personality’s totally different.” 

“I appreciate you humoring all of us, Komori-kun,” Akaashi said, looking at his empty cup instead of at the libero, “I’m sure we seem pretty pathetic.”

“Nah,” Komori waved him off, “Being honest about your feelings is hard. The three of you,” He looked specifically to his cousin retaking his seat as he spoke, “are especially guarded about feelings, I think.”

Akaashi nodded ruefully.

“But, yeah, I do think you’d all probably be happier if you told them. But I’m not gonna tell you what to do.”

“You tell me what to do all the time,” Sakusa grumped. 

“Because that’s my privilege as your cousin. Plus, if the guy I liked was sending me thirst traps he doesn’t even post on Instagram, I’d ask him out like that.” He snapped his fingers. 

Sakusa’s dark eyes radiated murderous intent. 

But Kenma’s interest had already been captured. “Thirst traps?”

“Yes!” Komori picked up Sakusa’s phone and typed in the password. “Let’s all see the pictures he’s sent my dear cousin so far .” He showed them the 3 pictures from the night before along with the two pictures Atsumu had already sent Sakusa this morning: a bed selfie with his hazel eyes still full of sleep and his hair all mussed accompanied by a “morning omi-omi! 🌞” and a selfie from a high angle so everything from his face with his tongue out to his very shirtless torso to his swim trunks was visible. “And what has he posted to Instagram?” Komori flipped over to Instagram, still on Sakusa’s phone, where Atsumu had posted 3 three stories: the group photo; a video of Bokuto getting hit by a giant wave, flailing as it knocks him over, and then popping back up out of the water, laughing raucously; and a selfie from this morning of him and Hinata on the beach with the caption “Beach Volleyball Time 😎.” 

Throughout all of this, Sakusa’s ears had turned pink and he’d slid farther and farther down in his chair. 

“That is the flirtiest good morning text I’ve ever seen,” Kenma said. 

“Well this is Miya,” Sakusa said defensively, “He flirts with everything that moves and breathes.” 

“I don’t know, Sakusa-kun. I have to agree with Kenma and Komori-kun,” Akaashi said. 

“It’s not like he’s doing it on purpose. I don’t think Atsumu is capable of taking a picture of himself that isn’t a thirst trap.”

“He is absolutely doing it on purpose!” Komori said. 

“He has literally offered to give Bokuto-san lessons in taking thirst traps,” Akaashi agreed, “I believe he called it ‘the art form he’s most dedicated to, second only to volleyball.’” 

Komori gestured at Akaashi enthusiastically. 

“Please, if anything he’s doing it to annoy me.” 

Komori patted his cousin’s shoulder placatingly. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

“Don’t worry, you’re not alone,” Kenma assured him, “Akaashi still doesn’t think Bokuto has feelings for him.”

Sakusa, eager to get the magnifying glass off of himself, turned on Akaashi, “You know he literally never stops talking about you?”

“He’s like that with all his friends,” Akaashi waved him off.

“No. We’ve had to institute a ‘no talking about Akaashi until cooldown’ rule for practices.” 

Akaashi couldn’t help but grin even if he wasn’t any more convinced that Bokuto’s feelings for him were in any way romantic. 

All of a sudden, Akaashi and Sakusa’s phones buzzed at the same time. They both looked immediately while Kenma and Komori made knowing eye contact. 

 

Kotaro Bokuto

BEACH VOLLEY BALL IS SO FUN!!! <<

Keiji Akaashi 

>> I’m glad you had fun :)

Kotaro Bokuto

Next time we’ll go to the beach and play together and it’ll be EVEN MORE FUN <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> Okay, Bokuto-san

>> Kenma and Kuroo will have to come too so I’m not the only one who’s out of shape 

Kotaro Bokuto

YES <<

We haven’t played all together in so long! <<

I love my team, but your still my favorite person to play with in the whole world 🤩 <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> Don’t let Atsumu-kun hear you say that. You’ll hurt his feelings. 

Kotaro Bokuto

It’s okay, he knows! <<

Am I your favorite person to play with too? <<

Keiji Akaashi

>> Of course. 

Kotaro Bokuto

WOOHOO!!!!! 😁😁😁😁😁😁 <<

 

Atsumu Miya

okay i’m mad at you again <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> Okay.

Atsumu Miya

cause we played sand volleyball and YOU WEREN’T THERE <<

it woulda been way more fun if you were there 😫 <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> Are you sure you aren’t just mad that you lost so much?

Atsumu Miya

hey! i didn’t lose! shoyo and i tore that shit up! <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> But did you win at all when you weren’t on a team with Hinata?

Atsumu Miya

okay but that’s not fair cause shoyo won every time! <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> Well, yeah. That’s to be expected. 

Atsumu Miya

but you absolutely have to come and play with us next time we do something like this <<

you don’t hafta go to the hot spring or anything! <<

you just gotta play with us! <<

Kiyoomi Sakusa

>> We’ll see.

 

Even though Kiyoomi did not particularly care for getting covered in sand, he was actually regretting missing out on playing with his team. He had no delusions about his own abilities in the sand, but he did like the idea of giving Hinata and Bokuto a run for their money with Atsumu on his side of the net. 

For a moment, and it wasn’t the first, he wondered if maybe he should have gone on the team retreat. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad… But then he thought about seeing all of the Atsumu thirst traps filling up his camera roll in 3D and nearly 24/7; he couldn’t handle that. 

“These lovesick dorks,” Komori said, tearing Sakusa’s attention away from the pictures from the beach volleyball games Atsumu was sending him. 

Kenma snorted, “I know, right?”

Akaashi turned to his friend who had remained almost entirely unscathed in the conversation so far. “Would you like to share your texts with Kuroo-san with the table?”

“No,” He replied, shoving his phone deep in his pocket. 

“Well, I suppose that’s fine,” Akaashi said, something dangerous in his pleasant smile, “I guess it is enough to say that you live together and he calls you ‘kitten.’”

“What?!” Komori practically shouted, looking delighted and slightly horrified all at once. 

“We don’t live together,” Kenma insisted, “He has his own apartment.” 

“Which he never says at.”

“That doesn’t mean he loves me. He sleeps in the guest bed and my house is nicer than his apartment.”

“And you’re there,” Komori chimed in.

“We slept over all the time as kids, it doesn’t mean anything different to him than it did when we were ten.”

The expressions on all of his companion’s faces clearly showed they didn’t believe a word he said. But Sakusa just sighed and said, “Guess we’re all lost causes.” He raised his cup of iced coffee which the others cheersed, laughing at themselves. 

 

After that day, the four of them had essentially decided that they were all on vacation together. As it turned out, they were all staying in the same hotel so they rented a cabana by the hotel pool where they could all hang out and read, game, and/or scroll. All around, it was pleasant, which is saying something for a group that was made up of some of the most anti-social people (and Komori). 

After the cabana, the professional athletes went to the hotel gym while the other two napped. Then, they all got ready for the night. They’d decided that what they needed to stop thinking about their (debatably) unrequited loves was to go to a club and have some drunken fun. 

They claimed a high-top table in the corner of the club filled with tourists and twenty-somethings. Sakusa offered to get the first round; it took about 3½ drinks to get anyone but Komori to move away from their table, but eventually they were all swaying to the music and chatting happily. 

“Oh so that’s why those girls wanted a picture with you,” Sakusa said after Kenma explained that he was a streamer. 

Kenma nodded. “It’s always weird meeting followers in person. But they’re usually really nice.”

“Our fans are usually really nice too,” Sakusa agreed, “But I don’t usually want to talk to strangers when I’m out getting groceries.”

“Yes!” Kenma agreed enthusiastically, “And they always act like I’m their friend because they know all this stuff about me. But it’s like, maybe I’d recognise your username.”

Sakusa nodded and took another sip of his drink. “Sometimes someone will come up to me like ‘Kiyoomi! Hi!’” He imitated someone much perkier’s voice. “And I have to figure out if I’m supposed to know who they are or if we’ve literally never met before.”

“And you just smile awkwardly like ‘do I know you?’”

Akaashi nodded along. He was often thankful that it was Bokuto who was famous and not him. He could not be as consistently happy to see excited fans as Bokuto was. The only time Akaashi had ever seen Bokuto be anything but thrilled by a fan interaction was once in Akaashi’s senior year of university when he was drowning in school work. He’d just finished crying to Bokuto about how stressed he was on a park bench not far from their old high school. Bokuto had smiled at the women who had just run up to them going “Oh my gosh! Bokuto Kotaro?” then he stepped in front of Akaashi so they wouldn’t see him with tear tracks on his cheeks and a runny nose. 

“Hi!” He’d said, “Thanks so much for your support! Now isn’t a super good time for me though.” He laughed it off and his fans very kindly chuckled with him and said they understood. 

“Hey there,” A guy with dyed red hair that was being pushed back from his forehead by a pair of sunglasses had entered their little circle. 

“Hi?” Komori responded, the only one offering him any more than a look of distaste. 

The stranger shifted his weight so he was leaning towards Sakusa. “What’re you drinking?” He asked, seemingly ignoring all of the people Sakusa was with. 

“None of your business,” Sakusa replied shortly. The spiker dwarfed this man who wasn’t much taller than Kenma and had his Hawaiian shirt fully unbuttoned. 

“Come on, don’t be like that. I’m just making conversation.” 

“Don’t,” Sakusa said bluntly. 

Akaashi, tequila in his veins, couldn’t help but giggle at how badly this dude was striking out with Sakusa. Kenma hid his laugh in his sleeve. 

“Okay, you’re not a fan of small talk,” The rando tried a different tactic, “I’ll cut to the chase then. I think you’re hot. Let me buy you a drink and then maybe we can go back to my hotel and see where the night goes.”

Sakusa laughed out loud. The fiery-headed tourist looked startled. “With you ?” Sakusa blurted, “You’re the last kind of asshole I’d ever let me buy me a drink, let alone take me anywhere. When’s the last time you washed that crispy hair? I know people who dyed their hair in their bathrooms in high school who did a better job than you. They could shave better too. At least take a shower before you try to pick someone up.” 

Akaashi and Kenma stood in awe at Sakusa’s complete lack of filter as the stranger who’d had the misfortune of coming onto him turned the same shade of red as his shitty dye job. He was practically shaking in indignation as Sakusa tore him to shreds. 

“Don’t forget to wash that nasty ass, I can smell it from here,” Sakusa finished, waving the stranger off. 

But the guy, fully trembling with rage now, didn’t run away with his tail between his legs. Instead, he swung at Kiyoomi, getting in one punch to the face before the other three grabbed him. The bouncer stepped in only a moment later to kick him out and apologize to the group. 

“Kiyoomi?” Komori asked his cousin who was still covering his cheek with his hand. 

“Ow,” Sakusa replied, irritably. 

“Let’s go back to the hotel,” Kenma suggested. The other three agreed enthusiastically.

Notes:

Me every time I make a typo while writing Bokuto's texts: "nah, that can stay"