Work Text:
Herta Space Station - Decontamination Unit: 2 points
Efficiency is the name of the game, it would seem. These state-of-the-art high-speed decontamination units are the best that credits can buy, and the best technology can offer. But operational efficiency at the cost of researcher morale—that is effort woefully misplaced. Five seconds of pressurized sanitizing spray are no substitute for a good soak, where the mind can meander, and thus, discover unseen possibilities. It's no wonder that the station's results are as stilted as their bathing.
Jarilo VI - Unpleasant but Noteworthy: 1 point
The situation on Jarilo VI is dire indeed.
In Belobog's Administrative District, I encountered a man with blue hair (not me) wading in the grand fountain. He was very reluctant to answer my inquiries. After much coaxing, he revealed that he was bathing!
I have contemplated and deduced the situation that he must have been too embarrassed to explain: During the planet's centuries of frost, geomarrow was scarce, and energy was in short supply. It must have been quite a hardship to thaw enough water to bathe, and thus, they have set up the fountain as a communal bathing site.
I tried it myself, for experience is a researcher's best tool. The bath itself is terribly unpleasant: cold and with no privacy whatsoever. Nonetheless, they deserve a point for cleverness in dire straits.
Should the people of Belobog desire, the Guild is happy to offer consultation services on maximizing energy sources.
Xianzhou Luofu - Plunge in the Ocean? 0 points!
Little is lasting in a life as endless as the long-lived natives of the Xianzhou, or as cyclical as the Vidyadhara. Yet when time becomes meaningless, one's grasp on Mundanity becomes ever-more essential to keep one's days purposeful.
The Xianzhou seems to have done away with meaning entirely, as surely as it has done away with bathing. There is not a tub in sight. Are their knights meant to dunk themselves in the saline waters of Scalegorge Waterscape after a sweaty day of work and training? Perhaps their noses have all withered away.
I will be submitting a research paper on the preventative effects of bathing against early-onset Mara-Strike.
Penacony - Dreampool: 2 points
The design is gaudy, but functional and reasonably ergonomic.
Now, on to the bad. For a hotel renowned for luxury, the options are shockingly limited. Such basic features such as control of the water temperature is lacking—a glaring oversight! Or is the cold water meant to encourage bathers to enter the pool fully clothed? Furthermore, there is only one music station, one meant to induce sleep while in the bath! How risky!
But the greatest flaw is the exorbitant cost of the room. Bathing, like knowledge, should be freely available to all.
Amphoreus - Marmoreal Palace: 10 points!
This is a civilization that sincerely embraces not only the practical value, but also the cultural merit, of a good bath.
The Palace is thoughtfully and meticulously designed in every regard. The flowing water encourages the flow of ideas, the open floor plan facilitates open collaboration, and the lofty architecture inspires bathers to lofty aspirations. The surrounding rooms offer every comfort one could desire: good food, live music, reading material, towels, and a wide selection of seals to keep the bathers company. (Though my personal companion of choice is a duck, the seal is not objectively worse.)
Truly a site of unparalleled brilliance! Truly a forum of intellectual stimulation!
Astral Express: 9.5 points...?
I admit I was skeptical when Miss Trailblazer invited me to visit her private bath. This was not the first such invitation I received in my time as a professor. Students can get such strange notions. If only they'd apply that creativity to their studies. Nonetheless, she is a candid individual, so I accepted.
Miss Trailblazer has excellent taste. The bath is the ideal temperature for contemplation, infused with salts to vitalize the body, and delicately scented to soothe the mind. It has room enough for two, should one seek an exchange of ideas.
After my initial visit, I returned frequently to indulge in a restful afternoon. However, on one such visit, my relaxing bath was replaced by an abomination! Scalding, frothing water filled the tub in violent, vivid orange. Through the stinging steam, I could faintly make out... scallions? Chili peppers?
Miss Trailblazer is prone to flights of fancy, it seems. Not to worry. She usually recovers her sanity in time.
