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David shifts the bag of groceries in his arms as he grapples with the door. “Les!” he calls, “Come here and help me!”
“Sure,” Les replies, bounding up the steps.
David steps out of the way, but before Les reaches the door, it opens and Jack storms out. He runs down the stairs two at a time. David stares a moment, stunned, then shouts after him, “Jack!”
When Jack doesn’t turn around or stop, David hands the groceries to Les. “Here, take these inside. I’m going after him.” He rushes down the stairs after Jack.
“Jack! Slow down!” he shouts as he starts to catch up with Jack. “What’s wrong?”
Jack stops and turns around suddenly, and David almost runs into him. “I’m fine. Just fine. You should go check on your sister,” Jack says with a tight voice.
“Did you have a fight?” David asks.
Jack gives a short laugh. “You could say that, yeah.” He turns and starts to walk away again. “Just go back to your family, Davey. They need you more right now.”
David grabs Jack’s shoulder and spins him around again. “What happened?” He tries to catch Jack’s eye, but Jack is avoiding his gaze.
“Told her she was waiting for a proposal that would never come,” says Jack, twisting away. Stunned, David loosens his grasp, and Jack breaks away.
Jack is nearly to the corner by the time David can move again. He turns and runs back towards his family’s apartment.
When he gets there, he finds Les quietly putting away the groceries and Sarah is nowhere to be seen. Les looks up when David comes in. “What’s wrong with Jack?” he asks.
David sighs. “It’s complicated, and I don’t have the whole story yet. Where’s Sarah?”
“I don’t know,” says Les.
“Right,” mutters David, “the roof it is.”
Sarah is sitting on the wall of the roof, looking out over the city. David sits down next to her and waits. After a few minutes, she looks over at him. Her eyes are dry, he notes, which is probably a good thing, on balance.
“You saw Jack.” It is a statement, not a question.
“Yes. What happened?”
“He broke up with me.” She says bluntly and sighs. “I can’t say I wasn’t expecting it. He’s been... distant, these past few weeks. Like he was steeling himself for something. I was expecting... well, I was expecting either a proposal or a break up.” She gives a small, sad smile. “Guess I know which, now.”
“Sarah...” David trails off, unsure of what to say.
“No, it’s all right. I wasn’t in love with him. I was... fascinated, for a while. And I love him like a brother. Just... he’s taking this harder than me, isn’t he?”
David blinks. “He... I guess. Last time I saw him so upset was during the strike. After I broke him out of the Refuge.”
“I think he’s worried that you’ll hate him for this. I asked him if there was someone else, you know. And he said no, but when I asked if it had to do with you, he... got this look on his face. Like someone had punched him.”
“Sarah, I never said anything to him! I was nothing but happy for you two!”
“I know that. But you probably gave him the speech, didn’t you? The one you’ve given every boy that’s looked at me twice since Joey Goldberg in the sixth grade?”
“Well, yes, but...”
“Just go talk to him. Let him know that you don’t hate him, that he’s still welcome here for dinner. And go quickly. I know that he’s been saving up for a while now. He might have enough to buy a train ticket.”
David flinches. “Damn.” He gets halfway across the roof before turning around and back to Sarah.
“You’re sure you’re okay?”
“Yes! Just go before it’s too late!” With one last glance at his sister, David runs back down the stairs.
***
Jack isn’t at the boarding house he lived at, but the landlord said that he had just been there a half hour ago. He also said that Jack had paid the remaining rent and had said he wasn’t coming back.
David leaves the boarding house with a rising panic in his chest. He sets off in the direction of Grand Central Station. If Jack is only a half hour ahead of him, there might still be time to catch him.
David is so preoccupied that he nearly runs over Crutchy.
“Heya, Dave, what’s the rush?” Crutchy grins up at him.
“I can’t talk right now, Crutchy,” says David, pushing past him. Then he stops and doubles back. “Have you seen Jack?”
“Yeah, as a matter of fact. He came by here not too long ago. Looked real angry-like, if you know what I mean.”
“Which way did he go?”
“That way.” Crutchy points in the direction of the train station. David’s heart sinks.
“Listen, I need to find him. I think he might be running off to Santa Fe. But in case I’m wrong, could you get the newsies to look for him? I’m heading to the train station, but have them look at his other hiding spots. Or bars,” he adds as an afterthought. “He was in a bad mood when I last saw him.”
Crutchy’s eyes grow wider and wider as David finishes talking. “Sure thing, Dave. I’ll get right on it.”
“Thanks, Crutchy!” David says over his shoulder as he runs off in the direction of the station.
***
David doesn’t see Jack outside of the train station. He goes up to the ticket counter. “Excuse me, sir,” he says to the teller, “Could you tell me if there’s any trains to Santa Fe leaving soon? Or any others headed west?”
“Sure, sonny,” says the teller with a grin. “There’s one that leaves at 6:15 for Chicago, and there’s trains from there to Santa Fe. You’re the second young man to ask that question today, you know. Don’t know what the appeal is, myself. But then, I’m an old man –“
“Was it a boy about my age with a red kerchief around his neck?” David interrupts.
“Why, yes, as a matter of fact. Friend of yours?”
“Yes. What ticket did he buy?”
“Well, he bought one for the 6:15 to Chicago.”
“What platform is that on, sir?”
“That’s on Platform 16. Do you want a ticket for that train as well?”
“No, thank you. I just need to talk to him. Thank you, sir!”
With that David runs off towards Platform 16, leaving the teller muttering to himself about the youth of today.
When he reaches the platform he sees Jack waiting down at the far end. “Jack!” he shouts, running after the older boy. “Jack Kelly, wait!”
Jack turns towards David, glaring at him. “Why should I? Not going to change my mind, so I’ll just be on my way.”
“Don’t you dare run away, Jack Kelly! I’m not losing my brother today if I can help it!” A complicated expression passes over Jack’s face before twisting back into a glare.
“Well, you already have. I can’t marry Sarah. I won’t ever be your brother, no matter how much you might want me to be. So just let me live my life, will you?”
“Did I say anything about Sarah? You’re already my brother, even if you never marry her. You’ve been my brother since the strike.” Jack’s glare has slipped off his face, leaving a blank, stunned look in its place.
“Do... do you mean that?” he says quietly.
“Yes.” David walks up to Jack and grips his shoulder. “I thought you knew. What you meant to me, I mean. To all of us.”
Jack takes a shuddering breath, but doesn’t say anything. David is quiet a moment. “If you really want to go to Santa Fe, I won’t stop you,” he says. “But don’t do it like this. Sleep on it. And don’t you dare leave without saying goodbye.” His voice cracks on the last word, and Jack looks up quickly at David’s face.
“I... I won’t,” Jack says shakily.
“Good,” says David. They stand there for a minute, until the whistle blows, announcing the arrival of the 5:45 from Philadelphia. David shakes himself. “Let’s go home.”
Jack starts. “I... I checked out of my rooms,” he says uncertainly. “And... I don’t think I can face Sa... your apartment yet.”
David nods. “All right. We’ll go somewhere and talk, for a bit. Figure out what to do next.”
Jack nods in agreement. “I have a place... a safe house, sort of. It’s not very comfortable, but it’ll do in a pinch.”
“Okay. We’ll go there.” David pats Jack on the shoulder one last time, and they turn to head back into the city.
***
When they reach Jack’s hiding spot, it’s a storeroom for a small grocery store. It’s near the distribution office for the World, and it brings back memories for David. “Started using this years ago,” Jack explains. “The shop owner keeps his extra inventory in here. He was a friend of my mother’s. He lets me stay here when I need to lie low for a night or two.”
It’s cramped inside, and the walls are covered with shelves. There are chests sitting on the floor, and they sit on two of them.
“I talked to Sarah,” says David quietly. “She’s not angry with you. Not really, anyway.”
Jack stares at the wall. After a long pause, he replies, “Good.” He glances at David. “I didn’t want to hurt her, honest I didn’t, David. Believe me, please.”
“I do believe you. That’s part of why you haven’t been punched yet,” David says and attempts a smile. It falls flat when Jack flinches away before he can catch himself. After a pause, David says, “Even if you had hurt her, I still would have tried to stop you leaving. I’d have punched you, and you’d have deserved it, but... I would still want you to be here.” He stops, and swallows around the knot in his throat.
Jack stares at the wall and gives a short, sharp nod, eyes glassy. “I wanted...” he starts, then stops. He clears his throat. “I wanted to marry her. But it was for the wrong reasons. I... she’s like a sister to me, I care about her, I do,” he says, looking earnestly at David, “but I wanted to marry her so that I’d always have a family. Your family. But... she deserves so much better than me. She deserves someone who can love her like your father loves your mother. When I first met you and your family, I didn’t believe that there was love like your parents have. The best I thought you could hope for after years of marriage was to just put up with your wife, and she puts up with you. But your parents aren’t like that. And I...” he trails off.
David moves to sit on the same chest as Jack and waits.
“I don’t think I can love anyone like that,” Jack whispers.
David is quiet for a minute. “You don’t love easily,” he says slowly, “but... when you do love, you love deeply. It’s obvious to me that you love Sarah.” He waves aside Jack’s protest. “You’d do anything to make her happy, even if it hurts you. Even this whole fiasco is proof of your love. You’re willing to leave her to give her a better life.”
Jack shakes his head. “That’s not what I meant. I... I don’t think I’ll ever marry. I’m not cut out for it. I... I don’t want what comes with marriage.”
“Like being tied down to one place?” David smiles.
“No.” Jack’s expression is serious. “Like... sex.” He blushes furiously and looks at the ground.
David feels his own cheeks burning and he looks away. “Oh.”
There’s an awkward silence. Then David looks up. “Wait. Does that mean...” he trails off.
“Mean what?” Jack’s voice is challenging, though he still won’t meet David’s eyes.
David thinks carefully. “If you don’t want... that... with women, do you want it with men?”
“No!” says Jack, glaring at David again. “No, I’m not queer! I don’t want it with anyone!” He starts to get up, but David grabs his arm and pulls him back down.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean... I shouldn’t have asked that. I am sorry.”
Jack nods stiffly, and they sit in silence for a while.
David opens his mouth, then closes it. Jack glances at him. “If you’ve got something to say, say it.”
“Just... I already told you this, but... I’ll always consider you my brother. And my parents consider you their son. Les adores you. You have a family. Sarah will get over this, I talked to her and... she’s sad, but not angry. She was more worried about you than anything.”
Jack closes his eyes, and nods. “Thank you,” he says thickly. David put his arm around Jack’s shaking shoulders, and Jack hid his face in the crook of David’s neck. They stay like that for a long time, the shed’s dim light growing dimmer around them.
Finally Jack pulls away, and sighs. “There should be some candles around here somewhere,” he says, searching through a small chest. He found the candle and some matches, and lit it. “I guess you should probably be getting back home.”
David looks at him for a minute. He says slowly, “I should let them know where I am. But...” He sighs, debating whether or not to continue. “I’d like it if you came home with me. But if you don’t want to be there tonight... I could stay here.” Jack stares at David, unbelieving. “I... If you want me to go, I’ll go. But I don’t think you should be alone tonight. And...” He bit his lip. “And I don’t really want to let you out of my sight yet.” You might still leave for Santa Fe, he doesn’t say.
Jack takes a minute to answer. “I... You don’t have to stay. I’m fine. I won’t leave, I promise. Santa Fe... It was my dream for a long time. But my dreams have changed now. I don’t have any without you in them anymore,” Jack says, staring at the floor.
David swallows the lump in his throat and nods. “Good... that’s good. But...” he stops, then clears his throat. “You didn’t tell me to go.”
“No.” Jack looks extremely uncomfortable as he says it, but he looks up at David and meets his eyes.
“All right.” David nods sharply to himself. “I need to go back and tell them I’m with you. But I’ll come straight back.”
Jack nods, and begins to take bedding out of one of the chests. David slips out the door and heads down the street. As he passes the World, he sees Crutchy.
“Heya, Dave,” he says. “Did’jya find Jack? I’ve got everyone looking for him. Since I can’t move so fast, I’m waiting here for the others to report back.”
“I found him, thanks, Crutchy. He’s staying,” David says as Crutchy opens his mouth to ask. “Could you do me one more favor?”
“Sure, what is it?”
“Could you send someone to my apartment and tell them I’m with Jack? I don’t want them to worry.”
“Sure thing, Dave. I sure am glad you found him.”
“So am I, Crutchy.” With that, he turns around and heads back to where Jack is waiting for him.