Percy's Journal

Property of Percy Jackson - If you're reading this, Annabeth, I know you picked the lock

Entry #4

Date: Tuesday, July 8th
Time: 11:30 PM
Location: Cabin 3
Mood: Confused but happy (which seems to be my default state around her)

Okay, so my mom suggested I start writing down my thoughts. She said it might help me "understand my feelings better" and "appreciate the people I care about." I think she really meant "stop calling me at midnight to ramble about your girlfriend," but she said it in that nice way moms do when they're trying to help without making you feel stupid.

The thing is, if I don't write this stuff down, I'm going to forget just how completely brilliant and terrifying my girlfriend is, and future me needs to remember why dating a daughter of Athena is like playing chess with someone who's already planned your next ten moves.

So here it is: my official list.

10 Things Annabeth Does Without Realizing (That Make Me Fall for Her Even Harder)

#1: She unconsciously fixes my shirt collar or adjusts my hair when she's thinking.

I didn't even notice she was doing this until Connor Stoll pointed it out during capture the flag. We were strategizing, and Annabeth was deep in planning mode, talking about flanking maneuvers and decoy tactics. While she talked, her hands just sort of... moved. Straightening my collar, pushing my hair out of my eyes, smoothing down my shirt without even looking.

"Dude, she's literally grooming you like a cat," Connor whispered, grinning.

I was about to protest when I realized he was right. She does it all the time. During meals when she's explaining some historical fact, during training when she's correcting my form, even just walking around camp. Her hands automatically reach out to fix something about my appearance whenever her brain gets occupied with something else.

The weirdest part? I've started unconsciously leaning into it. Like my body just expects her touch now.

Last week I tested this theory by deliberately messing up my hair before sitting next to her in the Big House for a counselor meeting. Sure enough, within five minutes of Chiron starting his speech about new camp policies, Annabeth's fingers were combing through my hair, trying to tame the chaos I'd created. She was completely focused on what Chiron was saying, nodding along and occasionally asking strategic questions, but her hand never stopped moving.

When the meeting ended, she blinked and looked at her hand like she'd just realized what she'd been doing. "Your hair was..." she started, then trailed off with this adorable confused expression.

"Messy?" I suggested.

"I was just... it was distracting," she mumbled, which made me grin because apparently my messy hair is distracting to the girl who can recite the entire history of Ancient Rome without breaking a sweat.

#2: She keeps mental notes of everything I like and incorporates them into her plans without mentioning it.

Last week she suggested we check out this new climbing wall route, and I was confused because Annabeth usually prefers strategy-based activities. But when we got there, I realized the route she'd picked had three water features worked into it - a waterfall section, a stream crossing, and a final challenge that involved manipulating water flow.

"This just looked interesting," she said casually, but I caught her watching my face light up when I saw the water elements.

It's not just activities either. She somehow always knows which dessert I'm craving, suggests studying in spots where I can see the ocean, and even reorganizes our schedules so I get more time for sword practice. She never makes a big deal about it, just quietly makes sure I'm happy.

The crazy thing is how detailed her mental notes are. Like, last month I mentioned once - ONCE - that I missed the blue chocolate chip cookies my mom used to make when I was little. I said it in passing during a conversation about homesickness, didn't think much of it. Two weeks later, Annabeth shows up at my cabin with a container of blue chocolate chip cookies.

"I asked your mom for the recipe," she said, trying to act like it was no big deal. "I thought you might want some."

They were perfect. Exactly like I remembered. But when I asked her about it, she got all flustered and started talking about "morale maintenance" and "the psychological benefits of comfort foods." She'd literally called my mom, learned to bake, and made me cookies because of one random comment I'd made weeks earlier.

Or there's the way she always suggests we sit at the spot by the lake where I can see both the water and the sunset. She claims it's because "the lighting is better for reading," but I've noticed she always brings books she's already read to those spots. She's not there for the lighting - she's there because she knows I'm happiest when I'm near water and she likes watching me be happy.

#3: She gets this tiny wrinkle between her eyebrows when she's worried about me, even when she's trying to act tough.

During our last quest, I got hurt (okay, fine, I got stabbed, but it wasn't that bad), and while Annabeth was patching me up, she kept insisting she was "just being practical" and "someone has to keep you alive, Seaweed Brain."

But the whole time, she had this little furrow right between her eyebrows that only appears when she's really scared. Her hands were steady, her voice was calm, but that tiny wrinkle gave her away.

I've started watching for it during dangerous situations. It's like my early warning system for when things are actually serious, because Annabeth Chase doesn't worry easily. When that wrinkle shows up, I know I need to be extra careful - not just for me, but for her.

The first time I really noticed it was during a particularly brutal game of capture the flag. I was facing off against Clarisse, and things were getting intense. I was holding my own, but Clarisse had that look in her eyes that meant she was about to stop playing around. From across the field, I caught sight of Annabeth watching us, and there it was - that tiny crease between her brows.

She wasn't worried about the game. She was worried about me.

It made me realize that no matter how tough she acts, no matter how many times she calls me Seaweed Brain or rolls her eyes at my impulsiveness, she's always just a little bit afraid that something's going to happen to me. And she tries so hard to hide it, but that one tiny expression gives her away every time.

Now I've started making eye contact with her during fights, just so I can give her a quick smile or nod to let her know I'm okay. The wrinkle always disappears when she sees that I've noticed her watching.

#4: She unconsciously mimics my breathing when we're close together.

This one took me forever to notice, but now I can't unsee it. When we're sitting together studying, or lying on the beach, or just talking quietly, her breathing gradually syncs up with mine. Not on purpose - she's usually focused on something else entirely.

I tested it once by deliberately changing my breathing pattern, and sure enough, within a few minutes she matched it without realizing. When I mentioned it, she got all flustered and started explaining the science behind unconscious mimicry in social bonding, which somehow made it even more adorable.

The weirdest instance was last month when I had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep. I was sitting outside my cabin at like 2 AM, just trying to calm down, when Annabeth appeared out of nowhere (seriously, how does she always know when something's wrong?).

She didn't ask questions, just sat down next to me. I was still kind of shaky from the dream, breathing all uneven and scattered. But slowly, I felt myself starting to calm down, and I realized it was because Annabeth was taking these deep, steady breaths beside me.

At first I thought she was doing it on purpose, like some kind of breathing exercise to help me relax. But when I looked at her, she was staring up at the stars, completely lost in thought. She wasn't trying to help me breathe better - she'd unconsciously matched her breathing to mine, and somehow that had helped both of us find a calmer rhythm.

"Feel better?" she asked after a while, and I realized I did. We'd been breathing in sync for probably twenty minutes, and the panic from my nightmare had completely faded.

I never told her how that worked, but now whenever I'm stressed or anxious, I find myself seeking her out, knowing that just being near her will help me breathe easier.

#5: She saves the last bite of her favorite foods for me, even when she thinks I'm not paying attention.

Annabeth loves strawberries. Like, seriously loves them. They're basically the only dessert she consistently gets excited about. But I've noticed that no matter how hungry she is, she always leaves the last strawberry on her plate.

At first I thought she was just full, but then I realized she was subtly pushing the plate toward me, or making some comment about being "too stuffed for another bite" while glancing at me hopefully.

When I finally called her out on it, she claimed it was "strategic resource distribution" and "making sure team members maintain optimal energy levels." Sure, Wise Girl. Whatever you need to tell yourself.

But it's not just strawberries. She does this with everything she really likes. The last bite of her favorite sandwich, the final piece of ambrosia, even the last sip of that weird herbal tea she's always drinking. She'll eat most of it with obvious enjoyment, then suddenly decide she's "had enough" and offer me the rest.

The most obvious example was last week when the camp store got a shipment of those fancy chocolate bars she loves - the ones with sea salt and caramel. I watched her unwrap one during free period, and she was practically glowing with happiness as she ate it. But when she got to the last square, she broke it in half and handed me the bigger piece.

"I don't want to spoil my dinner," she said, which was ridiculous because dinner was still three hours away and she'd been talking about those chocolate bars for days.

I ate it anyway, because the way her face lit up when I accepted it was worth playing along with her terrible excuses. But I've started paying more attention, and now I always make sure to have snacks I can share with her, because apparently making sure I'm fed is one of the ways she shows love, even if she won't admit it.

#6: She automatically reaches for my hand during scary parts of campfire stories, even the ones she's heard a million times.

We've all heard Connor tell the story about the cursed ship at least fifty times, but whenever he gets to the part about the ghost sailors, Annabeth's hand somehow finds mine. She doesn't seem to realize she's doing it - she's usually busy rolling her eyes at the historical inaccuracies or muttering corrections under her breath.

But her fingers lace through mine right on schedule, every single time. Her grip tightens during the suspenseful parts, and she doesn't let go until the story's over, even though she could probably recite it from memory.

What's really funny is that she does this even during stories she actively hates. Last month, Travis told this completely ridiculous ghost story that was so historically inaccurate that Annabeth spent the entire time whispering corrections to me. "Ghosts don't work that way," and "That's not how ancient curses function," and "Oh my gods, that's not even the right century."

But when Travis got to the jump-scare ending - the one we've all seen coming from a mile away - her hand still found mine and squeezed tight. She was so focused on being annoyed by the factual errors that she didn't even notice she'd grabbed onto me until the story was over and everyone started laughing.

"You know that story makes no historical sense, right?" she said, finally noticing our joined hands.

"Yeah, but you still got scared," I pointed out.

"I did not get scared. I was just..." She looked down at our hands and went quiet for a second. "Okay, maybe a little. But only because of how wrong everything was. It was scary how bad the research was."

Sure, Annabeth. It was the bad research that made you need to hold my hand.

#7: She unconsciously leans into me when she's tired, no matter where we are.

Annabeth Chase does not show weakness. She doesn't admit when she's exhausted, doesn't ask for help, and definitely doesn't let her guard down in public. But when she's really tired, her body just sort of... gravitates toward mine.

During long strategy meetings, she'll gradually shift closer until her shoulder is pressed against mine. At the campfire, she'll slowly tilt until her head is almost resting on my shoulder. She never acknowledges it, and if anyone else notices, she immediately straightens up and pretends it never happened.

But in those moments when she lets herself be vulnerable, even unconsciously, I feel like the luckiest guy at camp.

The most obvious example was during that three-day war games event last month. By the second day, everyone was exhausted, but Annabeth was still pushing herself harder than anyone else. She'd been up until 2 AM planning strategies, then woke up at dawn to scout positions, and spent the entire day running tactical maneuvers.

During the evening debrief, I watched her fight to keep her eyes open as Chiron went over the day's events. She was sitting perfectly straight, taking notes, asking intelligent questions - classic Annabeth. But slowly, so slowly I almost didn't notice, she started leaning to her left. Toward me.

First it was just a slight tilt. Then her shoulder brushed mine. Then she was essentially using me as a human pillow while still trying to maintain the illusion that she was completely alert and engaged.

When Chiron asked her opinion on the next day's strategy, she straightened up immediately and gave a perfectly coherent answer about flanking positions and resource allocation. But the moment she finished talking, she sagged against me again.

I didn't move. I barely breathed. Because Annabeth Chase trusting me enough to literally lean on me, even unconsciously, felt like the most important responsibility I'd ever been given.

#8: She gets excited about sharing random facts with me, like I'm the first person she wants to tell when she learns something cool.

Most people find Annabeth's encyclopedic knowledge intimidating, but she gets this pure joy in her eyes when she discovers something new and interesting. And for some reason, I'm always the first person she wants to share it with.

"Percy! Did you know that octopi have three hearts and blue blood?" she'll say, practically bouncing with excitement.

Or "I just learned that there's a type of jellyfish that's technically immortal - it can reverse its aging process!"

She never seems to realize that half the time I'm not really listening to the facts themselves. I'm just watching her face light up, seeing how happy she gets when she's sharing something she's passionate about. Though I have picked up a surprising amount of random knowledge this way.

Yesterday was a perfect example. She came running up to me after her Ancient Civilizations lesson with this huge grin on her face.

"Percy, you're not going to believe what I just learned about Roman aqueducts," she said, and before I could even respond, she launched into this incredibly detailed explanation about water pressure and engineering techniques that were apparently "revolutionary for their time."

She was talking with her hands, getting more animated with every sentence, and I found myself smiling just watching her enthusiasm. Other campers were walking by, probably thinking she was crazy for getting so excited about ancient plumbing, but she didn't care. She was in her element, sharing something that fascinated her with someone she trusted to listen.

"Isn't that amazing?" she finished, looking at me expectantly.

"Yeah," I said, and I meant it. Not because I was particularly fascinated by Roman engineering (though it was actually pretty cool), but because seeing her that happy about learning something new was amazing.

The best part is that she always asks what I think afterward, like my opinion actually matters to her, even when she obviously knows way more about the subject than I ever will. Like she genuinely wants to hear my thoughts, not because she needs validation, but because she wants to share the experience with me.

#9: She instinctively steps slightly in front of me when she senses danger, even though I'm probably the better fighter.

This one drives me crazy and makes my heart race at the same time. Annabeth is brilliant, strategic, and deadly with her knife, but in a straight fight, I've got advantages she doesn't. We both know this.

But the second she senses a threat - a monster's growl in the distance, an unexpected sound in the woods, even just a bad feeling - she automatically shifts to put herself between me and the potential danger. It's like an instinct she can't control.

When I point it out, she always has some logical explanation about "optimal positioning" or "tactical assessment," but I know the truth. She's protecting me, even when it doesn't make strategic sense.

Last week we were walking back from the strawberry fields when we heard something crashing through the underbrush nearby. It was probably just a wild animal - maybe a deer or something - but Annabeth immediately moved in front of me, her hand going to her knife.

"Annabeth," I said, "you know I can handle whatever that is, right?"

"I know," she said, not moving. "But I'm faster with my blade, and if it's a monster, we need to assess the threat level before engaging."

But I could see the tension in her shoulders, the way she was positioned to shield me even though it would have made more sense for me to take point. She wasn't thinking tactically - she was thinking protectively.

The noise turned out to be a squirrel that had gotten tangled in some vines, but Annabeth didn't relax until we'd confirmed there was no actual danger. And even then, she walked slightly ahead of me for the rest of the way back to camp.

It's not that she doesn't trust my fighting abilities. It's that she can't bear the thought of something happening to me, especially if she could have prevented it. And even though it's completely irrational and sometimes tactically unsound, there's something about knowing that her first instinct is always to protect me that makes me feel more cared for than I've ever felt in my life.

#10: She smiles differently when she looks at me - softer, more real than her public smile.

Annabeth has several different smiles. There's her polite smile for strangers, her sharp smile when she's proven someone wrong, her satisfied smile when a plan works perfectly. But when she looks at me, especially when she thinks I'm not paying attention, she has this completely different smile.

It's smaller, quieter, but somehow brighter. Her whole face relaxes, and for a moment she looks exactly like the girl who used to bandage my wounds and call me Seaweed Brain like it was the most endearing nickname in the world.

I've tried to describe it to myself a hundred times, but I keep coming back to the same word: home. When Annabeth smiles at me like that, she looks like she's found her way home.

I first noticed it during a particularly chaotic capture the flag game. Our team had won, barely, and everyone was celebrating and arguing about who had done what. Annabeth was in full strategist mode, analyzing every play and explaining to anyone who would listen how our victory had been "tactically inevitable given the positioning advantages we'd secured in the first phase."

I was only half-listening because I was still catching my breath from the final sprint to our flag, but I looked up and caught her watching me. Not listening to her explanation, not participating in the post-game analysis - just watching me with this expression I'd never seen before.

Her whole face was soft, unguarded in a way that she never let herself be in public. Her grey eyes had this warm light in them, and she was smiling this tiny, private smile that seemed meant just for me. For a second, it was like everyone else at camp had disappeared and it was just the two of us.

Then Connor asked her a question about defensive positioning, and the moment was over. Her public face snapped back into place - confident, analytical, slightly impatient with having to explain obvious strategic concepts to people who clearly hadn't been paying attention.

But I'd seen the other smile, the real one, and now I found myself looking for it all the time. And the crazy thing is, once I started paying attention, I realized she gives me that smile a lot. When I successfully remember something she's taught me about Ancient Greek. When I make her laugh with a particularly ridiculous joke. When I'm not looking and she thinks she can watch me unobserved.

It's like she has this whole separate version of herself that she only shows to me, softer and more vulnerable and somehow more beautiful than the brilliant, intimidating daughter of Athena that everyone else sees.

Update - 11:45 PM: Just read through this whole thing and realized I sound like a stalker who's been cataloging his girlfriend's every move. But honestly? I think I'm just finally paying attention. For years, I was too busy trying not to die to notice all the little ways Annabeth shows she cares.

Update - 11:52 PM: She just knocked on my cabin door with hot chocolate and a book she thought I'd like. When I opened the door, she got that soft smile - #10 on the list - and I swear my heart actually skipped a beat.

"Couldn't sleep either?" she asked, and I noticed she was wearing my camp sweatshirt that she "borrowed" three weeks ago.

Yeah, I'm definitely keeping this journal. Future me needs to remember that being loved by Annabeth Chase feels exactly like this: like someone sees all your flaws and chooses you anyway, like someone thinks you're worth protecting even when you don't need it, like someone's favorite person to tell good news to.

Tomorrow's goal: Pay attention to all the ways I unconsciously show I love her back. I bet I do just as many weird things without realizing it.

Probability she's going to find this journal and read it: 100%
Probability I mind: 0%

Note to future Percy: Hide this better if you actually want it to stay private. Also, you're an idiot if you ever take any of this for granted.

Note to Annabeth (because I know you're reading this): I love you too, Wise Girl. All of it. Even the parts you don't think I notice.