Chapter Text
“Mama?” A bell-like voice called out amid the soft hum of classical music and the rhythmic knock of a knife on a cutting board. There had been the murmurs of that little voice switching from role to role as he held council with his stuffed animals, too, but it seemed he had grown bored of that.
“Mm,” Shen Jiu responded, not looking up from his task, but aware that the child was scurrying into the kitchen and ready to react if he heard the telltale stutter of his footsteps signalling the clumsy child tripping.
He must have felt lonely, Shen Jiu realized, cutting a piece of carrot lengthwise instead of into little discs like the others and setting it aside.
“Mama,” his son continued to sweetly call with a lilt to his voice.
“ Mm ?” Shen Jiu asked, a little louder, trying to hide the smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Shen Yuan was now at his side, looking up at him with adoring eyes.
“ Mama, ” Shen Yuan giggled, delighted that he continued to hold the attention of his mother, even as he chopped vegetables for their dinner. He had learned too quickly that Shen Jiu would never let his call for him go unanswered, and he liked making use of that fact often.
He was spoiled, Shen Jiu sighed fondly, putting his knife down and turning to scoop the boy up. He gave him two light swats on his bottom that only made him giggle again, placed his pup on the counter, then turned back to the cutting board and handed him the piece of carrot he had set aside for him. He didn’t bother asking why Shen Yuan was calling him. He knew the sweet child just liked to hear him softly hum in response, as though they were taking part in a simple duet.
He was 4 now and beautifully bright and mild mannered like his father. Even as an infant, as though he knew Shen Jiu was struggling, he considerately slept through nights and rarely fussed or cried. He ate well, and when he did cry, it was an endearing wobble of the lip and big watery eyes that Shen Jiu would immediately placate with silent apologies and a tight embrace, releasing his scent to soothe the pup while hating himself for making such a sweet tempered boy upset.
At times, when he watched him sniffle and hiccup as he began to calm down, he couldn’t help but think that if Shen Yuan had taken after him, he would fuss just to watch Shen Jiu snap to teach him a lesson. He would cry all night as though to say ‘Were you even going to sleep if I didn't cry? Weren't you just going to wallow in your own self pity about your own choices? I am a reminder for the rest of your life that you’re not worth happiness.’
Sometimes, he had nightmares about a pup with his own face screaming and crying until he was red in the face while Shen Jiu helplessly tried to stop him. He would begin to cry and scream at the infant to shut up, and just as things reached their peak, he would shake the child in frustration.
And before him, Yue Qi would look on in horror, manifesting out of thin air, and snatch the bloody pup out of his hands, leaving him alone and without a word. When he woke up, he would be crying and shaking. He would run to Shen Yuan’s bedside on unsteady feet and see the child sleeping peacefully.
This was Yue Qi’s son who always looked at him so adoringly, the way his father once had. When Shen Jiu felt close to breaking, Shen Yuan would smile a gummy smile at him and reach out a hand as though to say ‘You're not alone.’ And so he loved Shen Yuan with all his heart because he was nothing like him and everything like his father.
The only place those similarities could not keep up were in his appearance. The little boy was a replica of Shen Jiu himself, and while he was often praised as a great beauty among omegas, he might love Shen Yuan even more if he looked like his lost lover, too. Maybe he would even refuse to part with him, keeping him as his security blanket, especially those first months after his birth. Instead, Shen Jiu prayed to the heavens that his pup would not endure everything he had.
Let him share his face, but not his fate. Let him be happy, sweet, and unsoiled by the world.
Don’t let him end up bitter and broken like me, he prayed every night until Shen Yuan’s personality began to present itself.
At the very least, he had been granted his father’s kind, almond shaped eyes.
“Can I have more, please?” He politely asked, pointing at the carrots Shen Jiu had been carelessly cutting, lost in his thoughts.
“One more. I don’t want you to spoil your meal,” Shen Jiu gave in, passing him a disc a bit larger than the others.
“Thank you, mama,” he smiled, taking the carrot and kissing Shen Jiu’s cheek.
It was peaceful for a moment as Shen Jiu prepared the ingredients and Shen Yuan sat munching on his carrot.
“My god! You would not believe the line at the grocery store!” Shang QingHua huffed as he folded his umbrella and handed the bag of potatoes, ginger, and scallions to Shen Jiu. “Some beta bi-otch,” he caught himself, “tried to beat me to the registers, but-“
“You broke into a sprint with your pup clinging to you?” Shen Jiu guessed, taking the potatoes out of the bag, running them under warm water and scrubbing them.
“Binghe likes adventure!” Shang QingHua argued. “He was laughing the whole time! Right, buddy? We won?”
“Yes!” The cheerful toddler cried out, wriggling around in his mother’s arms. He probably didn’t even know or care what Shang QingHua had said. As soon as they had arrived, his big, brown eyes had locked onto his favorite playmate. “Pay Yaya!”
Despite being a little chatterbox like his mother, he hadn’t gotten the hang of pronouncing his consonant clusters just yet or being able to pronounce Shen Jiu’s little pup’s name either, reducing his request to play with a-Yuan to ‘Pay Yaya’ and often referring to Shen Yuan as ‘Yaya.’
Shang QingHua had been devastated when it had been his first word, calling BingHe an unfilial son, while Shen Jiu had begun to cry from laughter as the pup continued to let out an endless babbled string of “Yayayaya’s,” clapping his little hands in excitement and shrieking with joy when Shen Yuan kissed him and praised him in his own clumsy way.
It took another week of practice before Shang QingHua managed to get a meaningful ‘mama!’ out of him. Naturally, the little airhead forgave every grievance after that and proudly told everyone that BingHe called him mama, leaving out that it wasn’t his first word.
“Mama,” Shen Yuan also called out to him, looking towards the two year old that was tottering towards him with a smile.
Shen Jiu scoffed affectionately and dried his hands to carry Shen Yuan off the counter. The two pups reunited in the middle with a tight hug and laughter before Shen Yuan guided BingHe out of the kitchen, hand in hand.
He was like Shen Yuan, with a father who didn’t pay much mind to the consequences of sleeping with an omega without protection. Unlike Shen Jiu’s encounter, however, Shang QingHua had been bold enough to confront the alpha and tell him he was pregnant, only for the man to sneer at him and accuse Shang QingHua of scheming the whole incident to trap him.
“As if I had any control over it!” Shang QingHua had hiccuped. “As if it wasn’t his rut that started everything! I didn’t even know that bastard, why would I want a family with him! Why is it my fault?! Why is it the common fate of omegas to be fucked and tossed aside?!” He shouted, angry at the world.
But he stubbornly kept his pup who not only looked like him, but also acted just like him in his liveliness.
“Good,” Shang QingHua had spat in the hospital as he cradled his pup. “I don’t want to have anything else to do with that son of a bitch.”
They had helped each other, had kept each other grounded and on their feet, treating the other’s pup like their own. Shang QingHua, who now worked at a daycare, would get the pups ready and take them with him in the mornings and take them back home in the afternoon. Shen Jiu, who worked in the city’s library, would have breakfast ready before he left at 6 and pick them up at 4, with dinner ready by the time Shang QingHua got back complaining about late parents.
On weekends, it was Shang QingHua’s turn to cook, and like this, they got through life, bills, and raising pups.
“Here, I’ll help you get the food started,” Shang QingHua said, hip bumping him out of the way.
“Started? It’s your day, I just didn’t want BingHe and a-Yuan to starve because you forgot to make sure we had the ingredients for the meal you planned,” he dismissed, drying his hands and going to sit at the kitchen island. “Hurry up. I’m hungry.”
“You’re a monster!” Shang QingHua grumbled, rummaging around for the peeler. “After everything I do for you-“
“The peeler is on the counter. I was using it.”
“Oh, thanks. Anyway, it would be much faster if we worked together-“
“You would get in my way,” Shen Jiu brushed off. “Besides, it’s your turn.”
“Oh, what a rule-abiding citizen,” Shang QingHua mocked as he angrily scraped at the potatoes with the peeler.
“At least I don’t race old women for a spot in the checkout line,” Shen Jiu responded. “And be careful before you peel your finger.
“She was young enough to run!” He shouted, then seemed to remember something and became hesitant. “I… saw something else in the checkout line.”
“What? A kid whose candy you could steal?” He snorted, deciding to not give Shang QingHua his full attention any longer and go through his phone instead.
“He got voted the most eligible alpha,” Shang QingHua mumbled, so quietly, it seemed he didn’t even want to say it.
“An asshole like him? Standards have really-“
“Not mine…. yours ,” Shang QingHua clarified with a pitying look waiting for him when Shen Jiu snapped his head up. He walked over to the grocery bag and took out the magazine, then placed it in front of Shen Jiu.
And there was Yue Qi on the cover. His Yue Qi who once promised him the world with nothing but debt and determination to his name. His Yue Qi who would have given up his ambitions and rendered his many talents useless in exchange for a simple family life.
Shen Jiu couldn’t let him do that. He didn’t give him a choice, forcing him out of his arms with a lie and escaping with anything he could fit in a duffel bag that night because Yue Qi was so close and couldn’t afford to be distracted by something like Shen Jiu.
And here he was… 5 years later still so handsome, but now in an expensive suit on a prestigious magazine that must have cost Shang QingHua more than the groceries he brought home.
Shen Yuan really did have his affectionate eyes.
“Good for him,” he said in a breathless voice.