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Jax Finds a Gun

Summary:

In this episode, Jax finds a gun.

That - that's it. I dunno what to tell y'all.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Pomni bolted down the hallway, gasping in desperate breaths as she skidded around yet another corner - managing to risk a terrified glance over her shoulder.

 

“OH F[#$&]K!” She screamed when the massive leathery leech-like monster with serrated teeth came into sight, movements inhumanly fast as it crawled across the floor on hundreds of withered arms. “NO! NO !” 

 

With that shot of adrenaline to her system, Pomni pumped her legs harder, practically managing an olympic sprint through the seemingly never ending halls - the only thing keeping her going being the very thing that was determined to consume her entire existence.

 

In her panic, Pomni did not see the vent cover that popped open above her head as she raced by, and screamed when she felt something grab onto her head - pulling her up into darkness. She would have continued to scream if it was not for something slamming over her mouth, successfully muffling any other sounds she could have made.

 

“Hey Pom-pom - mind shutting the f[$%]k up before we get eaten?” Pomni heard Jax whisper beside her. She whimpered with sudden relief, and slumped, nodding her head.

 

Seeing that the jester had calmed down, Jax removed his hand from her mouth. “I found a thing.”

 

Pomni inhaled deeply. “What’s the thing?”

 

“Look.”

 

Pomni glanced over, squinting against the darkness, and she was only just able to make out the shape of a gun of all things. She looked up and saw Jax’s excited grin. “How - where did you find a gun?!”

 

Jax sniffed, still grinning. “Oh, y’know - it was just lying around, and I - being the pro-gamer that I am - realized it would be a really, really good idea to have a gun.” He paused, then added, “also, I think Ragatha is for sure dead. I kinda just ran off after using her as a meat shield.”

 

“JAAAAAAX!” 

 

“Oh, nevermind. She’s fine.” 

 

Before Pomni could even process what was happening, she was already tumbling out from their hiding place and into the ominous hallway below, a startled squeak slipping out from her. She blinked, dazed, and managed to roll to the side as Jax landed in the spot she had been lying on only moments before.

 

“JAX!” Ragatha appeared from around the corner Pomni had come from earlier, pointing at the rabbit in question with a scowl. “YOU LEFT ME BEHIND, YOU D[$%]K!” 

 

“Oh, did I?” Jax stroked his chin with a thoughtful hum, before shrugging. “Sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyways - Pomni almost got eaten -”

 

“Eh?” Pomni felt herself get picked up, and was promptly pushed into Ragatha’s arms.

 

“ - and I think she’d be so happy knowing that you’re safe and sound, or something.” Jax finished, spinning around to face the monster that was crashing towards them. He raised the gun and took aim.

 

“WAIT!” Ragatha shrieked, holding out a hand. “THAT GUN IS-!”

 

Jax fired.

 

A cheerful tune echoed in the ensuing silence as confetti exploded from the gun’s mouth. Jax blinked, and slowly turned his head to look at his now useless weapon. The monster, now only a few feet away, also turned to look at it.

 

“ - a fake…” Ragatha sighed. Pomni facepalmed.

 

Pomni, resigned to yet another marathon, grabbed Ragatha’s hand, darted forwards to grab Jax, and pivoted around to drag them all in the opposite direction. “Time to go!”

 

“Why is there even a fake gun?” Jax huffed, twisting his hand to grip onto Pomni more securely. “So annoying !”

 

“Well if you hadn’t left me behind - I could have told you where the real gun is, Jax!” Ragatha shouted in response. At her words, both Jax and Pomni perked up.

 

“Oh? Where is the actual gun then, Rags?” Jax asked. Behind them, they could make out the sounds of the monster slamming into walls and destroying whatever pieces of furniture that managed to survive its first rampage. 

 

Ragatha seethed. “I don’t know if I even want to tell you now.”

 

Jax, being the unrepentant bastard that he is, smiled lazily and shrugged.

 

Pomni yanked them to the side, narrowly managing to dodge the monster’s lunging head. “Um! Ragatha - I don’t know about you but I would prefer to not die today!” 

 

“Okay, fine,” Ragatha pointed to another vent that had already been opened previously. “Let’s talk there.”

 

They ran towards it - both Ragatha and Jax managing to drag themselves into the new hiding spot with ease. Pomni wasn’t so lucky, and was left frantically searching around the hall for something to give her a boost.

 

“Grab onto my hand!” Ragatha said, reaching out to her. “Hurry!”

 

Pomni grabbed onto her hand and managed to get hoisted up just as the monster attempted to swallow her whole - missing by a few inches.

 

Jax slammed the vent cover into place, and all three of them sat in silence as the creature snuffled around beneath them, before wandering off. 

 

“Alright,” Ragatha began. “So, remember the spot where you got the fake gun?”

 

“Yeah,” Jax said, scratching his leg. “What about it?”

 

“Well, there was a note in the drawer next to it that said it had been switched with the real one -”

 

“S-so, if the fake gun was in the real gun’s spot - then does that mean -” Pomni said.

 

Ragatha smiled nervously. “ - that the real gun is where the fake one is? Yeah, that’s what I’m guessing.”

 

Jax threw his hands up in frustration. “Okay? And? So where is the real gun supposed to - ohhh. ” His eyes suddenly went wide in realization before he burst into gleeful cackles. 

 

Ragatha and Pomni stared at him.

 

“Haha, this is great!” Jax snorted, wiping at his eye. He noticed their expressions and raised an eyebrow. “Really? Neither of you figured it out yet?”

 

Ragatha sighed. “I have an idea - especially after your reaction. Only you would find this hilarious, after all.”

 

Pomni toyed with her button, frowning. “I-I haven’t figured it out yet. Sorry.”

 

Jax smirked, and leaned over, resting his head on his hand. “So, if the toy gun was in the armory - then where would the real gun be if they got switched?”

 

Pomni hummed, and thought about it. A moment later, her eyebrows shot up. “ No way.”

 

“Yes way!” Jax laughed. Ragatha glared at him.

 

IT’S IN THE F[$%*@!]G TOY BOX ??!!”

 


 

It took a while, and not a small amount of broken vent covers, but eventually the three of them found themselves at the spot where Cain had left them at the start of the adventure. And right beside the first door way -

 

“There it is,” Jax said, sauntering over to the toy box where he immediately heaved open the lid, and grinned at the gun that was nestled in between a pile of rotting plushies. “Ah-ha!”

 

“You found it?” Pomni asked, shuffling forwards as Jax lifted the gun out. “Oh, yeah. You found it.”

 

“Great!” Ragatha said, rubbing her hands together. “Let’s get out of here and find the others.”

 

“Wait,” Jax said. “I need to make sure it works.”

 

“How are you -” Pomni started, and yelped as Jax aimed at her and fired.

 

Something thudded behind her, and Pomni opened her eyes that she had squeezed shut in terrified expectation. She turned and caught sight of a hideously bloated spider with a now ruptured eyeball for an abdomen, and jumped a foot in the air with a shout. “ What the h[$%]l is that?!”

 

Ohmygoditssogross,” Ragatha wheezed from where she had plastered herself against the opposite wall. “You okay, Pomni?”

 

“Y-yeah,” Pomni said. She glanced up at Jax who was petting his new gun affectionately. “Th-thanks, Jax.”

 

Jax squinted at her. “... I was testing the gun.”

 

Pomni shrugged, a half-smile on her lips. “W-well. Thanks anyway.”

 

Jax looked away with a huff. “C’mon, let’s get this over with. I’m getting bored.”

 

With an actual gun in their possession, plus the ammo that Pomni found when she tripped over a trash can, the trio were able to eliminate all the monsters that attempted to eat them. 

 

It was during one such scene that Gangles and Kinger stumbled across them as a screaming Ragatha was being held down by a massive centipede while Jax coached Pomni on how to aim and fire the gun.

 

“ - and don’t worry if you miss. Rags over there can take a bullet. Or two - actually, how many bullets can you take?”

 

JAX SHUT THE F[$%]K UP AND SHOOT THIS THING!! ” Ragatha shrieked, arms shaking from where they were holding the mandibles away from her face. A long string of drool dripped onto her cheek, and she began to sob hysterically. 

 

Pomni fired the gun, stumbling back at the recoil. Thankfully, she managed to hit the centipede and it collapsed with a wet squelch onto its side. Ragatha crawled out from beneath it and began to dry-heave. 

 

“Oh!” Pomni shoved the gun into Jax’s hands, and darted over to the doll’s side, where she began to pat her on the back anxiously. “A-are you okay?”

 

“I-,” Ragatha wheezed, twisting around to lay on her back. “I need a nap.”

 

Pomni nodded emphatically in response. Jax snorted.

 

“AH!” Kinger suddenly screamed. Everyone whipped around to stare at him. 

 

He blinked at them innocently. Everyone slowly looked away.

 

“Anyways,” Jax said, pointing behind him. “Since we’re all here, let’s go find that stupid monster, and get out of here.”

 

Gangles and Pomni helped Ragatha up and they all walked down the destroyed hallways.

 

It didn’t take long to find the monster - it was already heading in their direction by the time they stumbled into its path.

 

One shot from the gun, and it was over.

 

Cain popped into existence above the cooling corpse - a soundtrack with people cheering looping in the background as the entire cast looked up at him tiredly. 

 

“CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE DEFEATED ALL THE MONSTERS ON THIS LEVEL!” 

 

Pomni’s eye twitched. “Wait-”

 

“YOU HAVE FIVE MORE LEVELS TO CLEAR, MY GAMERS! GOOD LUCK!”

 

With a final explosion of confetti, Cain was gone.

 

There was a long silence. Then -

 

Are you F[$%!@]G KIDDING ME?!”

 

 

Notes:

I binged the episodes, had an existential dream involving monster leeches at work - and this is the result. Enjoy lmao