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Leaning against the little sliver of wall not covered in overly large and daunting frames, Sirius Black holds himself a noticeable distance away from the small huddle of adults speaking together in the entrance hall. He keeps his hands deep in the pockets of his denim jeans, restraining them from reaching towards his back pocket where a pack of fags rest temptingly. All fucking bullshit. The wizard doesn’t look up to watch those who sneak glances his way and he refuses to match the daring stare of the witch sitting off in the corner.
For another wishful moment, he reminisces about his lovely morning in his big red Potter bed and the smell of Mrs. Potter’s breakfast that had led him to his regular dining seat at their table. Of course, he barely got to taste the omelette before he was being whisked away by an overly jolly Dumbles and a representative for the Black family affairs — a gentleman far older than even the Headmaster.
Compared to the warm welcome of the Potter family a year and a half ago when he moved in with them, this is a swarm of flies on a dung pile. And it is all thanks to one person. Why should he expect anything less from her after the last two years of back and forth fighting? It’s becoming a dumpster fuck of a morning if this is the place he is supposed to end up at. Especially as the cherry on top of everything else to have happened this week.
Finding out about the deaths of his mother and father were more than just shocking. In anger over Regulus refusing to join the followers of this new Dark Lord, the mad killer had struck against the head figures of the Black line. Orion and Walburga had laid dead in their separate beds when the authorities found them while Regulus was nowhere to be found. It had been an instant knot in his stomach that festered into dread over his future before he was able to regain control over those thoughts. Sirius, refusing to acknowledge what that could mean about his younger brother, decided to wait until he heard more on the matter before allowing annoying and useless emotions to badger his already draining day.
“We have to take him in, Nancy. It would be unjust to refuse.” The deep timber of Mr. Evan’s voice cuts through Sirius’ train of thoughts.
“But Honey,” The softer and far more hushed voice of Mrs. Evan’s reply still makes it way over for his ears to pick up, “You know how much Lily detests him. It’s all we have heard about for weeks this summer. I don’t think it’s best to have them around each other. Otherwise you know I would find no bother in it. It would be completely different if it were that Lupin boy.”
He also wishes he was getting Remus for a roommate.
He feels their tandem gaze once more with a hesitation coating the air. “Maybe we can talk elsewhere, Mr. Dumbledore?”
“Of course. Wherever you wish to proceed.” Dumbledore takes a few steps towards the teen. “We will be right back, Sirius. Sit tight for a few moments if you can.” There was the first sign of a blue twinkle in his eyes Sirius has caught since encountering him in the early morning.
The other man, Otto Bunt, his extremely ugly executor and the man working on behalf of his dead parents, also joins the headmaster’s side. “If it goes well I will have the needed paperwork ready for signing once we come back, Mr. Black. Do be prepared for each outcome.”
He nods at each with a sharp movement and turns to the overly plump chair in the corner. Opposite of where the other occupant in the room sits with a stiff tension in her shoulders. It matches her equally uncomfortable looking chair. His at least has cushioning.
Usually when spontaneous death takes place in a family as successful and high up as his — practically wizard royalty — the survivors are spread between other relatives. Regulus would undoubtedly go to his Uncle Cygnus if found and probably stay a room down from Cissa as they were closest in age. They would be fostered until the age of adulthood and from there they would return to continue to be successors of their true immediate family’s line.
Sirius is not going to Uncle Cygnus’. Nor will he be allowed to stay with the Potter’s because of some stupid protection ward that Dumbledore insisted on.
No. Sirius Black was taken to the house of Lily Evans. The most insufferable, pretentious, and vile witch he has been forced to be around — only second to his dear cousin Bella. And that is saying a lot when only one is actually insane.
They can’t stand each other. Haven’t been able to most of their entire Hogwarts experience but most significantly in the last two years. In all honesty, Sirius can’t say exactly when it started — the furious despisement between each other. Maybe it began after he teased her friends with too many pranks. Or when she snubbed his best friend for a snively oily git. It could even have been from the moment they were paired together for a potions assignment in third year. She had hated that he corrected her on how to correctly dice lizard eyes. Frankly, she seemed to hate him any time he showed talent in that class. And he hated the fact she was so unbelievably stuck up when she did excel — which was irritatingly often.
They were simply not meant to coexist around each other. He wonders how unfortunate his odds must be to have ended up at her house out of all classmates.
Now that the adults have left through the hallway and out into what he assumes is a backyard, he withdraws the smushed pack. He flips it over and pats the bottom so he can easily take one stick out. As he goes to remove the lighter from his leather front pocket, the girl he has stubbornly chosen to ignore since arriving, speaks up.
“You can’t smoke in my house, Black.” Her voice holds as much contempt as her mother’s held caution.
He sighs with an emphasizing weariness. “Prude as always, Evans.” But he doesn’t fight it and places the cigarette back into its correct place without a fuss.
“It’s called a health concern for a reason.”
“Didn’t realize you felt concerned for me.” He finally drags his eyes off the tidy clean floor and over to where she leans forward in her chair.
She scoffs, “More like for everyone else standing in the same room as you.”
Sirius clicks his tongue. “Ouch. How you wound me.” The sarcasm drips with a deadly zeal.
Evans stands briskly and takes a step forward. He thinks she might even brandish her wand before she stops her steps. She pinches her shoulders back and layers him down with an even look.
“Stay away from me. Stay away from my family.Try and get the hell out of my life as soon as possible-“ She smiles and the corners of her mouth are something crooked and cruel, “-and we won’t have a problem.”
“Don’t know how well that will work with the whole living situation happening. Not very practical.”
“How ironic then. I would think you’re used to disappearing on a family. Isn’t that the story with your last one?”
He schools his expression into something blank and hidden. “Fuck you, Evans.”
“Yea, fuck you too, Black.”
She turns away with that chaotic quietness only she can mimic. There are no sounds of footsteps as she makes her way up the staircase, but he can feel her presence withdrawing.
The spite of anger she created stays.
It burns in his chest.
Sirius hadn’t realized how much anger was consuming his thoughts, his twitching fingers and clenched fists, and even his awaiting silence until she all but summoned the building rage back into memory.
He stands up with an abrupt urgency and the feet of his chair scratch roughly against the wooden floor. He doesn’t look back to fix it into place. No, without a glance, he opens the front door and closes it roughly behind him.
When he comes back the others have returned — all but her. He comes back to lively conversations between the four adults and warm eyes being cast his way. He comes back to a soft spoken ‘Sirius, my boy’.
He comes back with two scraped and maroon splotched fists.
He comes back with control.
~~~
Over the next few days he tries to blend into the new family’s dynamic as much as possible. It’s different then the Potter’s and it's starkly opposite of his own.
Sirius helps with dishes, something he would have been cursed by his own mother for. She had thought only those of low blood and poor fortune were fit for such displays of class. He helps with taking out the trash and folding his own laundry, something the Potter’s also had house elves for. They were kinder about it, but it was never questioned that there were servants to do that sort of work. It was normal. Expected.
It is different at the Evans. They are not a magical family. They have chores and they disperse them equally amongst the members of the family — Sirius included.
And with the eldest sister gone on vacation to the United States with a friend from her muggle school, there are more chores than usual.
Sirius doesn’t mind them. He never has. He likes working with his hands and fixing things because he feels an inner reward when something is made new again. It’s why he didn’t mind fixing the lawn mower when it broke. He hadn’t ever used one before, which gave Mr. Evans quite a laugh about wizards, but he saw the manual on it and put his mind to work. After a few hours of tinkering around, he had the machine roaring to life once again. Every once in a while it would splutter but no one minded.
It’s also how he found out more about motorcycles. Mr. Evans is a big fan himself and happened to have many magazines on them. He even mentioned a friend he could introduce Sirius to later on. This had cheered up some of his summer glumness. He had owled James about it immediately and asked his bet on getting one of his own by the end of summer break. Apparently, muggles can start driving at sixteen and he’s a year past.
So he doesn’t mind the new list of chores he has to do during his holiday break. But he does mind one very noticeable aspect.
Lily fricken Evans.
If he’s cleaning dishes, her mother has Lily drying them next to him. If he’s pulling weeds out of the front garden, she is watering the plants. If he is sweeping the kitchen floor, she is mopping right after him.
It’s constant company from someone he would rather not be around.
What’s worse is her frequent under-the-breath comments about how she would even be willing to put up with working alongside her sister again to spare herself from his company. As if he is so bad to be around.
She’s the frustrating one after all! All her snideness wears like water on a stone. He’s charming, he’s funny, and he knows how to have some tact, if he says so himself.
Yes, he wouldn’t mind his chores if he could separate them from her.
He looks at where she currently scrubs the wet mop underneath a kitchen chair then glances over by the fridge where a noticeable stain remains.
“Missed a spot, Evans.” Finished, he whistles as he exits the area.
But that doesn’t mean he misses the ‘Prick’ sent his way.
Fricken Evans, man.
~~~
After two weeks of the push and pull relationship, it’s easy to accept how much her frustration starts to bring a sort of fun to the otherwise boring day. It starts with the fact that she doesn’t like how well he can suck up to her parents. How his politeness earns him their kindness even when their daughter obviously holds him in contempt regards.
It makes him laugh when he accidentally beats her to the bathroom in the morning and listens to her from the other side of the door complaining about how much of a ponce he is and that he takes more time than her to get ready.
Once it had led to the usual biting comments between the two. She had said it’s because he needs more time to actually look pretty when she is just naturally gifted. He had, without a second of hesitance, replied that she simply didn’t have the skills to figure out how to perfect her hair the way he did. He had looked pointedly at her bed head, “Even James knows how to make his locks look presentable.”
Her ruthless actions and wasplike retorts that equal his own start to create a spark of energy on the lazy summer nights.
And all of it starts to keep his focus off of his parents. Off of his brother too. Instead of wondering what will happen now he is the only remaining member of his immediate family, which means rights to a grand Lordship, he dedicates his thoughts towards annoying the heck out Lily Evans. Without wasting his time on the fact he will never get to say final parting words to his father and mother, he talks to her parents about everything he never could with his own. They constantly ask questions and he is more than happy to answer. Unlike the Potters who know everything about magic already, they are eager to hear what it’s like to grow up with it and all the random culture differences. And unlike his own parents, who stifled any sort of significance he felt in himself, the Evans want to know what he has to say. They seem to truly take interest in him — even the flaws.
And a big part of him, without really realizing it, grows fond of his time with them. He genuinely likes Richard and Nancy Evans.
And when he finds out the news that the older sister is arriving in town the next day and then notices the burning rage in Evans’ eyes across the diner table when she discovers the girls will share a room because Sirius took Petunia’s, he finds that he might even enjoy his time in this home.
It beats the dullness of living with the Blacks.
Lily doesn’t stand down against him. She smacks him with retorts just as crass and uncensored as him.
Yes, it’s almost sort of fun.
~~~
“You’re Sirius Black then?”
He looks up from where he currently pulls weeds out from around the flower bushes. A lithe girl with shining long blonde hair and bright big blue eyes looks down at him. She wears a summer dress and has big sunglasses sitting on the top of her head.
“The one and only.”
“I only ever heard you were a jerk from a whole other plane,” She looks him up and down and smiles something light and teasing. “No one mentioned that you were quite handsome on top of it.”
He blinks a little bit, caught off guard by the stranger’s bluntness. It clicks in place. “Petunia.” He doesn’t say it as a question.
“The one and only.” She repeats.
He had seen many photos of her from the house. The walls were covered with them after all. But it didn’t do her justice. Her hair is softer looking in person, her mouth has a flicker of humor to it, and her eyes are bright. Not like that of a lantern, but that of a glistening ocean reflecting the direct light of a sun.
Her skin is newly tanned by the American sun and she seems happy in that sort of free way not many people contain.
He stands up and instantly becomes more aware of his own shirtless apparel. It’s how Sirius preferred working in the garden. He has only his working cargo shorts and big mud-covered boots on. A hat also to block his face from the sun.
“Just arrived then?” He moves to grab his water jug at the chance of a break from the work.
She looks up at her home and smiles big and openly. She scans the front porch and the rest of the garden, maybe looking for anything different showing. “Yes. Haven’t even made a call yet to let them know.”
“A bit of a surprise then?”
She snorts softly, almost to herself. “My favorite thing.”
She takes one last lingering look at the calm unmoving scene in front of her before glancing once more his way. “I suppose I should say ‘surprise’ as I walk in?”
He hums a second, “How about ‘I’m back, bitches’ instead?”
She raises her eyebrows then laughs, “She was right to say you were a menace.”
“Who? Lily?”
She nods.
“A complete liar, that one.”
Another open laugh. “Oh no, never Lily. Quite the righteous streak in her.”
He shrugs. “Maybe so.”
She nods her head a few times, then bends to pick up the handle of her suitcase. “I’ll see you around then.”
“See you.” He watches as she withdraws to the front door.
He turns back to the weeds and begins to move his full pile to the dumpster. It’s as he picks up the second clump that he makes out the blonde's loud voice cracking through the serene and quiet atmosphere once again.
“I’M BACK, BITCHES!”
Sirius’ eyes widen in shock for a few seconds before he barks out a laugh. What an interesting new equation to his summer.
~~~
Over the next week he discovers how different the two Evans sisters are from each other.
He has known Lily way longer and has seen many of the intricate characteristics that make up who she is. Sirius has a best friend that has been obsessed with her for years after all. In a sad way, she reminds him of everything Regulus could have been if he had been given more love from their parents without holding expectations in return. He could have been someone who used his brilliance for his own passions and goals.
Lily truly holds many traits redeeming of her hair color. Her fiery and spirited fight to prove herself as a muggleborn. Her magic that bristles and claws out like fire in the air when defensive. Even her eyes sear him when they cross paths.
When he bumps into Petunia it is completely different. She isn’t quiet like Lily is with her introverted bookishness. Instead, she is disruptive in one of the most graceful ways he’s ever seen. He can’t say she’s loud, but wherever she is, her presence is known. Sirius had not realized how peaceful the house had been until Petunia had entered it like the chorus of music.
The two of them become friends quickly. She is smart like Lily. Really fucking smart. She apparently had gotten some sort of advanced muggle degree that pushed her forward in coolidge — or whatever the university is called. Their parents had said she was on her way to becoming a lawyer in no time. Mrs. Evans gushed about it like it was a very important sort of career. He tried asking Petunia about it once but she just waved the inquiry off and jumped to another topic. Not wishing to bother the one person his age he did want to be on good terms with, he didn’t push.
She’s snarky and a lot like Lily in many ways. They both draw attention. They both excel in their talents. They both compete for some unnamed approval from their parents. But Petunia doesn’t have a fire surrounding her like Lily. Where Lily’s presence demands attention with all her magical wonder, Petunia’s surprises you because you notice it once you have already secretly been ensnared. She reminds him of an intricate forest. A massive force of strength, growth, and some sort of mystery.
Most of the time she is off with childhood friends where they go swimming, out for food, or who knows what. Other times she leaves to go study where she supposedly gets a quiet refuge away from the house. Eventually they do run paths: a late night snack in the kitchen, switching between the bathroom, or when all of them are hanging out in the living room. The girls usually immersed themselves with some book and Sirius would get hooked on the tv set. He’s caught up with a lot of the most significant movies created thus far, but the Star Wars series remains his favorite.
The only time they actually do actively spend time together happens to be the place he met her. He thought that Mrs. Evans was the owner of the prized garden, but she isn’t. She had only stepped in while Petunia had been gone. Now that the older sister is back, she also took back her role in the garden. So while he weeded and raked the messier parts up, she did all the other things that a garden needed done. And when he would look up and watch for a second, he swore she must have some magic in her. The flowers would bloom so bright and full.
He still butts heads with the other sister all the same. They see each other far more often with their similar schedule, or lack of one. The only change seems to be that the other two also fight a lot. Sirius and Lily tend to try and one up each other with witty remarks and sly digs, but the fights between Lily and Petunia seem to be plain mean. They barely even acknowledge each other most of the time. It makes Sirius wonder if that’s how others saw his relationship with Reggie.
With most of her anger directed at the blonde, Lily becomes more lenient with Sirius. They complete chores far more often in silence or less intense jabs are traded. It makes him miss some of the interactions they had had before. It had become a sort of routine during his day to bicker with her after all. He had become fond of the way it kept him on his toes.
Remus had written that maybe he enjoyed it because it was a way he blew steam off from thinking of the current situation with his family. And then had failed at subtly advising seeing a shrink to help with his mind problems. The fucking sap.
Peter wrote jokes and silly pranks to get Lily back with for the cold shoulder. He also mentioned a new friend he might be busy with over the next few weeks. Whatever that meant.
James, as his new usual tendency, wrote with much emphasized exasperation to make sure Sirius left Lily alone and to not be rude or mean or do anything that would ‘make her sad’. Sometimes there was a reason as to why too. One such as ‘She is a lovely flower who needs gentle care, not a Sirius bombarding her’. Of course it would be followed by whining at the unfairness of Sirius getting to spend the summer with the love of James’ life and not him. Sirius would roll his eyes and snort at the complete miss of character. A gentle care his ass. That witch was tougher than a bull.
Two weeks after Petunia arrived, Sirius is out in the backyard in shorts and a black tank top. He is doing his usual round of burpees, planks, crunches, and whatever else he does to complete his jacked look. Already covered in a sticky sweat, he is short on breath and feeling good about his progress.
A bang followed by a woosh of air that means the slider glass door is opening sounds out through the otherwise quiet area. It causes Sirius to abruptly turn from where he twists on the floor to instead look at the other side of the yard. Lily Evans stalks his way with a dark and grumpy frown. She holds a rolled mat underneath her arm and trainers already dawn her feet.
“Hello, Sunshine.” He mocks.
“Bloody fucking hell.” She rolls the matt out with fierce jerky movements next to him. “First her and now you.”
He raises his eyebrows and looks her over from the corner of his eyes. “Just saying hello.”
A loud mfphh is the only response given. She continues to flatten the mat out before settling harshly down on it.
She turns and catches his eye before glowering further. “Have a problem with me here, Black?”
A little on edge, he immediately shakes his head in reassurance, “No. That’s fine with me.” She nods her head sharply and continues to ready herself for some exercise. He doesn’t know why he continues to speak, maybe for feeling a bit incredulous she joined him or maybe relieved to have some sort of interaction again, but he does go on. “Being on the Quidditch team for so long, it feels better to workout alongside a partner. Usually it was Ja-” He coughs; catching himself, “- Was a lot of the Gryffindor boys to keep me company.”
It’s her turn to look over at him. “Makes sense.” Is her neutral response. Not even a backhanded compliment to pair with it. He takes a look at the sky above. Nope. No pigs flying this time. She must be in a weird mood.
It’s quiet between them for a few moments as he finishes his fourth round and she stretches out her legs. But then she is speaking again. “I think I should start working out too. Something different and healthy, you know?” She breathes out a puff of air for a prolonged second, “Do you mind if I start joining you occasionally?”
He slides a hand through his damp hair and re-ties it into the band — one he had stolen from Petunia’s collection. She said it was cute.
The wizard knows he could say no to Lily. He could make the situation clear and continue on with the fights and arguments. He could say no and the regular banter thrown between them would return.
She does irritate the heck out of him after all.
Sirius could also say yes and surprise them just like how she shocked him by coming out in the first place. If he did it would throw off whatever consistency they had built around each other over the weeks. Heck, not even just the summer weeks, but the last two years of their lives. If they are to not just work together for chores or when the family is all together for dinner, but to actually volunteer themselves as company, that would mean a drastic change in their dynamic.
The nosy side of him wants to demand she tell him why the change. The spontaneous part of him wants to just go with it, no questions asked.
“Yea, that’s fine with me, Evans.” Sirius is not one to miss out on some excitement. And this does shake some things up.
He wonders if it has anything to do with her anger at her sister. Probably. It would also stress him out to be at constant odds with two people in the same house. He’s probably just the easiest one to placate.
“Just keep posing like that and I’ll never mind your company.”
She swiftly moves out of her downward dog stance and swings her fist into his bicep. A sharp thump strikes the air.
“Bloody Merlin, Evans! That hurt like a bitch.” He rubs his throbbing muscle. Sadly, it is not the first time she has punched him and it probably won’t be the last.
“Be a pervert one more time and I’ll sock you again.” She threatens with that scary unique look of hers. He doesn’t understand how James thinks she is so precious when she obviously has more sting than either of them do.
He brings his index and middle finger up together in a sign of promise with a mocking sincerity. “I swear on the graves of my parents.”
She cocks a brow. “Dark, Black. That was fucking dark.”
He makes a silly face. “Duh, Evans. Black doesn’t come any other way.”
She rolls her eyes but he can see the twitch of her top lip where she tries to control her face from letting out a laugh.
She turns to face him and her eyes have that amused sheen to them. “Alright then. Just don’t be gross and I’ll keep your lonely butt some company.”
“Didn’t I already promise?” He gets into a plank position as she begins some Russian twists. “Plus, I think actually hitting on you would cross too many weird boundaries. I’m a joker, not a masochist.”
She gets a little breathier as she continues her exercise. “You realize there’s nothing between James and I, right?” She nails the unsaid reason without a second to think.
“Sure, Evans. Because why you would want an extremely handsome, overly selfless, and hard working boyfriend is beyond me.” He replies sarcastically. “Especially one that has maintained their devotion for all the time they’ve known you.”
He might get a bit defensive when he talks about his best friend. Sue him.
“Maybe you should date him.” Again, not a second to hesitate. She throws replies back like the whack of a tennis racket.
Even though he can admire the comeback, that doesn’t mean he appreciates the horrid feeling it pours over him. “No! Ew, fuck. He’s like a brother to me.”
“Sure you don’t want to get laid? I hear he is apparently hot, selfless — which is kind of questionable —, and hard working.” She sits up and gets into a squat position but she stares him down, challengingly.
He decides to do some jumping jacks, but maintains eye contact. “Stop talking like you're not describing yourself.”
“Please. I don’t need to pretend.”
He honestly doesn’t get it. James is a catch. “Then who would you date?”
She stares at him questioningly. “What?”
He breathes a bit hard as he continues with the jumps. “You know, dating? If you aren’t into James there must be someone else. So who is it?”
She diverts eye contact. “No one.” Another few squats.
He narrows down on her obvious vulnerability to the question. “Uh huh.”
“I mean it, Black.” That daring spark resurfaces as she sticks her nose up just a tad. There’s that pretentious side again. A mask?
“Is it Snape?” He even goes out of his way to use his actual sir name. Sirius can be nice. Especially when he really wants to know something.
“No.” She shakes her hand at him. “It’s no one.”
He scratches his chin, the jumping jacks forgotten in the light of a new mystery. “I don’t believe you.”
“Your prerogative and all that jazz.”
He scans her over and tries to think back on all the people he’s noticed she hangs out around. “Dirk?”
She makes a face. “No.”
“Fabian? Xeno?” He ticks his fingers with each shake of her head.
He hums as he tries to think but nothing really comes up. She used to only really hang out with Snape or all the girls.
“Is it me?” He asks at a stall.
She barks out a laugh. “Get real.”
Ignoring the instant denial because he hadn’t expected her to confirm that one, he moves on. “Is it even a Gryffindor?”
“I thought I clarified that there isn’t a someone.” She does some leg lifts now.
“Well we both know you are lying. So just tell me. Is it a different house? Making friends with the enemy, Evans? Maybe Snivellus got jealous because you only have eyes for Barty?”
She sighs. “No, he isn’t in Slytherin.”
“Ah-ha! So there is someone.” He smiles big and wide.
She gives him a flat look in response.
“Well that’s still three houses he could be from.”
“You are so fucking nosy, Black. Who cares?” She flips some red hair off her shoulder.
“Me!” He starts to mumble to himself as he thinks over the best candidate. So many options. It could even be a different year.
“I’ll just tell you. It’s not that big of a deal.”
He snaps his neck up to look at her. “Really?” He asks in awe.
She sighs out long and a bit exasperated.
Sirius can feel his excitement brimming.
“It’s Remus.”
And that excitement turns to a drenching puddle of cold water.
Oh no.
“Remus?”
She hesitates then confirms it with a nod. “Yeah.”
“My Remus?”
“No, Michael Jackson’s.” She rolls her eyes. “Yes, yours.”
She can’t like Remus. He’s their best friend. He’s James’ best friend.
Fuck.
James would shrivel up and probably do some awful selfless crap like tell Remus to go for it even though it would break his heart.
“Well that is a pickle isn’t it.” He says and then whistles a little deflated sound.
She hums in reply.
A few minutes go by in another round of silence. They each think of Remus then James. Then loop back again.
Lily breaks the silence a while after. “I always thought he would get over it, you know. And when he never did I started to believe he thought I was just this big competition he had to win.” She doesn’t look at him. “I never wanted his attention to begin with. I never asked for it either. But sometimes I felt that when he did give it that it wasn’t for me but was really only for himself.”
She presses her lips together and he can see the dent where she chews on her cheek. Maybe in frustration. Maybe wishing she didn’t say as much as she did.
He takes a second before he carefully responds, “If my word has any weight. He is head over heels for you. Believe me. He doesn’t talk about you like a guy usually will to his friends. He constantly wonders how you’ll appreciate something or if you will care about another thing. He genuinely cares about you.”
She finally looks up at him. He puts his hands up. “I’m not saying you have to change your feelings or do anything different, but just so you know. He isn’t faking it. Somehow an eleven year old boy met you and your attitude and hooked himself for seven years straight. It’s not made up.” He smiles a small smile at her.
“Prick.” But she smiles at him too. “You have the fucking attitude.”
“Sure, Evans.”
~~~
Their schedule changes just like that. His goes from chores, gardening alongside Petunia, working on trinkets with Richard in the garage, and even learning some kitchen recipes from Nancy, to also working out with Lily.
The parents, noticing the slight change, bring out weights that were stored in the attic for them. Throughout the week they do a mix of weights, abs, running, and other sorts of activities they can come up with.
For how sporty Lily seems to be, he wonders why she never tried out for quidditch.
“Snape didn’t make his team and I didn’t want to rub it in if I were too somehow make it.”
He’d been scandalized by such a reason. “Loyalty like a Puff, Evans”
“Thank you for your super kind compliment, Black.”
They even started to greet each other in the halls or pass comments about something school related if they happened to be in the same room. One day she even came and asked about something in their Potions homework essay. Another day he asked for her help finding something in the kitchen.
He may have liked the thrill of an argument and one upping her with digs and such, but the easy talks are starting to become something he is far fonder of.
The bickering doesn’t stop completely. They throw words like knives, but two minutes later they can turn around and laugh over the state of Dumbledore’s wardrobe when he chooses to get fancy.
It’s a sort of living situation he’s never truly felt before. Almost like family in a weird way. He has gotten along with her parents since the beginning and then Petunia as well when they met. But ever since the change with Lily, it’s like he finally found the missing piece on how to truly fit into the family.
He knows that he isn’t actually a member. Sometimes he thinks they all don’t care. It’s the way that their father will pat his shoulder after fixing something and even say ‘great job, son’. Or the way their mother will beam at him after he stopped at the muggle store and bought some flowers. She gives him a big hug and calls him a wonderful young man. These are things that the Potters had done for James. And now the Evans do to him.
And it feels really really nice.
Makes a large part of him not want it to end.
He’s never been homesick when returning to Hogwarts before. A part of him thinks this time he will be.
The only thing that does trouble him is the relationship between Lily and Petunia. He doesn’t understand it at all. He likes them both a lot now and can’t see why they don’t get along.
After about a week of being on good terms with Lily, he decides he wants to help them.
He starts with Petunia.
She is trimming the rose bush that is alongside the curve of the front fence. She has big yellow gloves on that clash against her blue and pink mix of clothes. She even has dark green gardening boots to add to the array of colors. He thinks it’s kind of adorable. Sirius has always loved his black and dark grays, maybe as a cheers to his namesake.
“Hey.” Sirius starts softly.
Petunia doesn’t look up, maybe already expecting him to come up and speak to her. “Hey.” She removes a stem of leaves.
He decides that just saying what’s on his mind will be the best way to get it all out. If he crashes, he crashes. “I’ve been thinking of my brother lately.”
She looks up at him then. She pulls back from the bush and watches him stare off at something across the street unnoticeable to her. A distant look covering the silver gray of his eyes. She turns back to the branches. “Yeah?” It’s asked softly.
He nods a bit to her and a bit to himself. “He’s younger than me. Just by a year.” He moves and sits down to the left of her but keeps a few feet away so she has room to continue her gardening.
“Kind of like Lily and I then.” She adds.
He looks at her and focuses his gaze on what she is doing. Sirius watches how gently she holds each branch and how she double checks each time before cutting anything.
“Yeah, just the same.” He watches how her hair falls lightly against her shoulders from where it comes loose in its band. When she breathes in it sways just a tiny bit. “We used to be really close. We did everything together even though he was my mother's favorite and I would play too many pranks on him. We still had a lot of fun together.”
She continues her work and he continues talking. “When I went to Hogwarts it changed. I was sorted into Gryffindor, same as Lily. And that caused a lot of anger for my parents who are a very traditional sort of people. They wanted me in the same house as that Snape guy.” He adds for her understanding.
She looks over at him and her mouth makes a little oh.
“Not wanting to displease my parents, my little brother all but turned against me. I didn’t think much of the lack of letters until Summertime when I could actually feel his distance for the first time.” He sighs as he thinks back to how much it had hurt his younger self. “And it sucked. He refused to talk to me because he didn’t understand why I would upset our parents like that. He was angry that I left him to a new school and he had to deal with my parents that first year on his own. And he was probably even angrier at the fact that we were never going to have the school experience we grew up thinking we would have.” It’s all true.
Petunia isn’t turned his way but he doesn't miss the slow blinks of her lashes. She’s listening.
“It just festered into something hurtful and far worse than it started. He would start mimicking the words of my mother and I would start making fun of him for a pluthera of things. We started to bully each other pretty bad. Once I compared him to a cousin of ours — one I knew he hated — and he cursed my words to come out backwards for a whole week. My parents wouldn’t even help me.”
She laughs a little bit at that and in a soft voice says “Siblings and their revenge, am I right?”
“Oh yeah, he could get mean, that kid.” He laughs along with her. Even if it hurts a little bit and reminds him of all the things he had done to hurt Regulus back. But laughing feels good. Makes everything heavy feel a little lighter.
“At school we were enemies on every level of the word. He was a Slytherin and I was a Gryffindor. He was studious and I was disruptive. I was athletic and he was anything but a cheerleader. He was private and I made sure to bring him into the spotlight for a number of pranks — all at his expense.” He grimaces at the memory of one really foul one.
“But life went on for us. I hurt him and he would hurt me twice as hard back. Each day I woke up knowing I could seek him out and taunt him, anger him, or laugh at him. Because he was always there.”
He watches the blonde closely. She isn’t working at the roses anymore, but her hands are up and holding a branch all the same.
“Then one beautiful sunny morning. I woke up and went downstairs for breakfast. I had no longer been living with my brother for a year at this point. Not seeing him wasn’t an issue because we were simply at different homes during the summer break. We both knew we would go back to school and fight all over again.” She looks over at him when the words come to a stop. That sad look creeps into her ocean eyes. He squeezes his hands to support himself. “And then I found out my parents were dead and there was no news of my brother having been found.”
He takes a deep ragged breath but keeps holding her gaze. His throat feels tight admitting all of this. “A few weeks later, when there still wasn’t news, I had to come to terms with some awful realizations.” He looks from her blue eyes to the blue of the sky. Two very different colors. “And all I was left with was memories of causing my little brother pain the last seven years and faded memories of a childhood that I can’t bring back to make a better outcome.”
He feels the tears prick at the sides of his eyes, but he refuses to clam up or block the words from leaving his mouth. “And I will forever wonder what would happen if I had chosen differently and made sure to be the best brother he needed. To look out for him against my parents, the school, and even the whole world’s opinions. What would have happened if I had heard his sharp words and instead hugged him close. Or if I stood up for him and praised him whenever he did something amazing. Would my last memory have been a smile? Would it have been a funny quip?”
He shakes his hand through his hair and swallows a lump. “So I would tell my younger self-,” He looks over at her with a kind yet significant and knowing look, “-if I ever had the chance, I would tell myself to forgive easily on everything that won’t matter later on. And to work at the ones that do. To talk through things so we both know how we are making each other feel.” He picks up her hand and she lets him. Her palm is soft and there is a little freckle on her thumb. “And to love them as deeply as you can at all times. Because when they are gone, everything that went wrong between you will never matter compared to the loss of them in your life.”
The silent tears finally fall from her eyes as he holds her hand. If he’s honest, some fall down his cheek too. And he understands it completely. He understands it fully.
Being an older sibling can cost so much. It’s cruel and tough and demanding, but it gives so many more things back then just that. He wishes he realized sooner.
They sit like that for a long time together. And the both of them, with the comfort of each other, let go of a deep ache they had been holding on to for far too long. One a mix of jealousy to make their parents proud, a strive to be accepted, and a hurt at the distance between their own sibling relationship.
She squeezes his hand. He squeezes hers back.
~~~
It doesn’t happen in a blink of an eye like the relationship between Lily and Sirius. But they do begin to soften around each other. Lily will hand Petunia the salt container when she is obviously looking for it at lunch. Petunia will compliment how Lily did her hair that morning. They both will trade small smiles.
And it’s all Sirius needs to see to know that they spoke and something happened between them. It makes his heart swell to have helped them where he didn’t help himself in time.
~~~
Lily doesn’t outright ask him if he said or did anything to get Petunia to come to her. But she one day makes him a nice lunch meal and brings it to him where he's out working on the family car. She hands it over with a punch to his arm and a big smile. “Punk.”
He just grins back and throws one of his own jabs.
~~~
Life moves a lot more quickly over the last weeks of the Summer break. With all of them on good terms and hanging out, they spend a lot of time together.
They take Sirius to a waterhole with some of Petunia’s friends. Another night they go to the theatres to catch a reshowing of E.T. They go bowling, to a pool house, to an arcade, and even a zoo. Some days they just hangout at home.
Nothing out of the ordinary pops up until the last week of Summer. A few nights before Lily and Sirius will board the train for the last time, Petunia asks if she can invite a guest over.
Richard and Nancy Evans share an amused look with one another before her father tells their oldest daughter that she is more than welcome to have company. Mrs. Evans asks if she should make anything special or specific and Petunia shrugs saying anything would be fine.
Sirius thinks nothing of it during the discussion nor the following days leading up to the evening. He’s met a few of her friends already. There was Amy the violinist who gave him a free blunt once. Then there was Christie who worked at the local bookshop and had black wavy hair and was obsessed with Markus Aurelius for some reason. He knows Peter the truck driver, Olivia the cat owner, and Sammy the coworker too. All good friends of hers.
So when he comes down to dinner and goes to sit in his usual spot across from the sisters, he isn’t surprised to find Lily sitting in the seat next to his. Of course Petunia will want to sit next to her friend.
But that is where the lack of surprise stops. Everything after has him feeling more taken back. When Petunia comes down the stairs and enters the room with her hair in pretty braids and dressed in a soft blue dress, he catches himself taking a second glance her way and wondering why she dressed up so nice.
When he catches her fiddling her fingers and stepping from foot to foot in the living room, he wants to ask what’s up.
Then the doorbell rings and everyone turns in sync to look at the front door.
“I’ll get it.” Petunia says.
“We will come too.” Mr. and Mrs. Evans follow behind her in order to introduce themselves. And he might find that a little formal, but he hasn’t lived in the muggle world long enough to fully question if it is.
He catches Lily’s expression and raises his eyebrows in question. “What?”
She just shrugs. “You’ll see.”
That doesn’t leave him feeling all that comforted.
And then a stranger’s voice breaks the otherwise monotonous lul of welcoming. A voice he has definitely not heard before. A voice of a man. It’s not Mr. Evans nor Mr. Linker, their neighbor. It’s not even her friend Peter. It’s a stranger.
Sirius cranes his neck around to try and sneak a look before they enter the dining area. From where he sits it’s impossible to see him with the Evans and wall in between.
The wizard doesn’t have to wait long when they make their way back in a moment later. This time they come back with a man who must be a few years older than him. He’s thick and a few inches shorter than him. And right on the front of his face is a fuzzy caterpillar looking mustache. If he wasn’t so concerned by his appearance at their house and wondering what this exactly means, he would have laughed at the sight of him. Lily, apparently with no qualms, freely lets out a snort she wisely tries to cover up with a cough. Caught off guard by the interesting features of him, they both exchange an incredulous look.
His attention is snapped back to the new guy when he lets out a whalish chuckle from the back of his gluttonous throat.
What a joke.
“Thank you for letting me come over, Mr. And Mrs. Evans.” He says with a stiff politeness.
“Thank you for joining us, Vernon.” Nancy kindly responds. “Please come have a seat. Petunia told me earlier you would be working all day, so I’m guessing your feet must be hoping to relax. I know mine do after a whole day.” She adds with a smile.
“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” He looks over at Sirius and Lily and without a hello or shake of the hand, he sits down across from him and next to Petunia. “Sales can be a fun day or a wearing one depending on your luck with clients, that’s for sure.”
“What sales?” Richard promptly questions.
“I’m in department sales right now, but I think I might strike an investment with an acquaintance soon which will lead me into tools such as drills. It’s something I desire anyways.”
“Drills?” Comes Lily’s dubious inquiry.
He must not catch or possibly care for the obvious distaste in her tone, because he doesn’t react. “No, business ownership.”
“Ah.” She looks back at her plate of salmon and asparagus. It’s hard for some things to sound entertaining when jobs such as Aurors or Potioneers exist. Not like Vernon would know that. Petunia had strictly said no magic talk around her friends weeks ago. Lily had come up to him later and said it’s one of those random tics of hers she is really strict about. He nodded and didn’t voice his thoughts, but he bets it’s because if they did find out about it they would only ever have questions about her younger sister which would drive Petunia crazy. She wants some things to be solely hers just like Lily is the only sister who gets magic to herself.
Dinner goes a bit like that. Sirius finds out how boring the guy is and wonders the entire time why the heck Petunia is with him. And how much exactly is “with him”? Are they dating? Friends?
It starts to make him more and more frustrated as he sits there. So much so that at one point he feels Lily pat his leg under the table. He looks to her wondering why until he realizes he had been bouncing his leg quite noticeably.
It’s a habit of his when he gets emotional, or nervous, or upset. His mother had hated it as a kid which made it happen all the more when she pointed it out. He hadn’t caught himself doing it in a long time.
After a bit longer of conversation and bites taken of their food, they decide to finish and clear the table so they could move into the living room. Mrs. Evans said something about popcorn and playing the downstairs record player. That usually happens for Sirius because he loves all the different music to discover, but he has a feeling this time it’s for the new guy.
He bites his cheek. He had been the new guy once.
Petunia and her parents make their way into the open space and sit down onto the couch. Lily and Sirius stay behind to clear up the plates and throw the trash out. They work in silence. Lily side bumps him and tries to get a smile out of him. He gives her a small one and bumps her back. “Swat.”
“Prat.” She responds in tangent.
After they finish up, Lily walks into the house to go sit with the rest of the family. Sirius, noticing his chance, takes a step in the other direction. He quietly steps out the front door and walks down the front path. He waits until he is sitting on the curb and checks to look back before he brings out his pack of cigarettes.
Sirius takes one out and then a second which he puts behind his ear. He takes his lighter out and heats the tip until it smokes. Placing the lighter at his side, he breathes his first inhale and lets the corroding warmth hit his throat. After a few more, the shake in his leg lessens and his thoughts dim into something distant.
Then he hears the door behind him creak open and shut. He wonders if it’ll be Mr. Evans. Maybe Nancy, wondering if he’s okay.
“Fucking knew it.” Her voice whispers it with a tint of teasingness.
Ah. The charming redhead.
“Knew what, Evans?”
“That you actually are a masochist.” She nudges him with her elbow and sits down next to him. “Ever since you denied it, I knew. This-“ She grabs the pack, “-only confirms it.”
He breathes out a smokey chuckle.
Then she takes one out and then another and places one behind her ear and against the fire red of her hair. Just like him.
“So you’re a masochist too, then?”
She shrugs, “Eh. Life’s too short to spend thinking of such things.” He leans over and lights it for her.
She inhales.
Makes a scrunched face.
Exhales.
And starts coughing like crazy.
He starts to laugh and after a few painful coughs, she begins to laugh too. She smacks his back and rubs at the water pricking her eyes.
“Bloody hell. That hurts like a bitch.”
“Yea,” He winks at her, “But you’re a masochist, so it’s alright?”
She hums. “I suppose.”
They take a drag together.
The night isn’t exactly silent but it’s peaceful. The moon is only half full and there are stars plastered overhead. Some metal post down the lane is creaking with each twist of the wind. And quiet voices from random homes are heard distantly.
They still sit in companionable silence themselves.
Until Sirius breaks it. Usually, she is the one to do so. He looks over at Lily, who eyes him with that annoying all-knowingness in her expression.
“What?” He snaps. His nerves are twisting left and right even with the cigarettes.
She sighs and then looks out at the street from where they sit on the side curb. The street lamp flickers just a tinsy bit. “You’re in love with her, you bonehead.”
He’s in love with her?
He doesn’t have to ask who.
Petunia Evans?
The muggle?
No.
No way.
He couldn’t be in love with Petunia.
She was loud and blunt. She was funny like all of his mates which makes them only really good friends. She had a bad habit of calculating everything too heavily and he rushed into everything. They would clash.
She made him laugh harder than anyone and it always caught him by surprise — her special talent. She was beautiful and unafraid to speak her mind. She was stubborn and fought for everything she believed in. She was comforting to him and always knew the right things to say.
She was loud and bold and really fucking funny and became a calculating little snake on all matters.
She also happens to hate Severus Snape.
Fuck.
He’s in love with Petunia Evans.
“You don’t mind?”
“Doesn’t change a thing.” Lily turns towards him and smiles that huge blinding warm one of hers. “You’ve been my brother for weeks already.”