Chapter Text
Tongrak was an emotional mess.
Henry had told him to yank the Band-Aid off quickly, so to speak. To hold off on showing his mate his true form was just asking for pain in the future. It meant that their relationship was flawed, that their love was only skin deep.
“Do what comes instinctively for you."
‘You mean eat him?' Rak said dryly.
“In the best way…but I mean, look inside yourself and do what comes naturally. I want to breed, it is in my nature, though I hated being used that way. So I protect my Starlight and breed him until he can no longer stay conscious. Sirens weren’t always man-eaters, and you are nothing like your kin.”
Tongrak went ahead of the lusca, opening the door to Mahasamut's beach-house, the the door to his bedroom, waiting close by while his sweet boy was laid out on the bed. Before Henry left, he asked if he needed to come back with food.
Though he'd only meant to be helpful, the idea that Tongrak couldn’t even feed his mate made his face burn with shame. Declining politely, Rak decided to take a page out of the lusca’s book and follow his instincts. The first thing he did was lock the door, then walk around the house pulling all the black blinds down.
Upstairs, he ran the hot water until the sink was full, soaking a washcloth and taking trips back and forth to wash over Mahasamut’s body. He’d wipe over his sweet boy’s flawless golden skin, drying it with a clean, fluffy towel.
When he was done, Rak rinsed out the sink and threw the wet cloth in the hamper next to the shower, hanging the towel to dry over the glass door. For a few minutes, he lay next to the one he cherished most, studying every inch of his perfect face and body. Tongrak believed in his heart that Mahasamut cared enough about him to look past the monster he was, but his imagination was getting the best of him.
Images of his sweet boy staring at him in disgust and horror plagued his mind. Would he think him ugly? Would he tell Rak to sleep in another room or, worse, not to come home at all? Heartbreak turned to a sickness in his stomach, twisting and gnawing at his insides. He couldn't sleep, fearful that it would be the last day he had with Mahasamut.
When his sweet boy began to stir awake, Tongrak felt like he might burst into tears at any given moment. He could do nothing but keep his bleak thoughts at bay, hiding them deep within. His large friend had become increasingly quiet.
The day he and Henry fought, Tongrak had heard the immense crack as the earth broke above his large friend’s will. As the fight cooled down, his large friend pulled the broken pieces of earth back over his nest and returned to sleep. He whispered to take Mahasamut away, but it became a faint thing.
Now, all that passed between them was the sunlight and moonlight taking turns as it glittered past the entrance to his nest.
The lusca said to look within himself. What did Rak want? What were his most base desires?
Honestly…he wanted to be the companion that Mahasamut deserved.
His sweet boy was young, healthy, and strong. Tongrak was only one of those things; his list of desirable attributes could be counted on one hand. Rak was fast. And he could bring his lover enough pleasure to lose consciousness. Though both skills were handy indeed, they were still all he had.
We were not as we are now…
Were sirens cursed, or did they simply evolve into monsters over time? Memories of his kin were passed down through their link, but male sirens were largely uneducated in most things. Was there a way of knowing?
Leaning over his love, Tongrak kissed those soft lips gently and stood. Walking down the stairs and out the front glass door, Rak checked that the beach was empty before slipping into the water. The temple near Atargatis was the most secure; furthermore, it was a place where the connection between Rak and his large sleeping friend was the strongest.
When he touched the crumbling runes, it felt like his friend was floating in front of him. There were many temples like it around the world, or so his friend said, though he didn’t know why. Years of blood magic and life sacrifices had connected him to a people that no longer existed.
It had once linked him to one, chosen to speak for the many.
Just like his mother and her mother and her mother before her.
Fully submerged, there was a painful ache in his lungs, as if feeling the aftereffects of a punch to the chest. He had expelled as much air as he could before going under, but when the salt water was breathed in, it filled the hollow space, forcing what little air was left to bubble up.
It wasn’t the most pleasant feeling.
Tongrak stretched his body out, feeling his bones, muscles, and skin change. He relished being on land with Mahasamut, and given the choice; he would cut his own tail off to spend the rest of his life with his sweet boy. But Rak couldn’t deny it felt amazing to be back in his body. He felt lighter, more relaxed…
Safe from the threat of being sucked up into the sky.
Tongrak shook off the remaining tingles of the change before zooming straight to Atargatis Island. A group of dugongs were happily munching on seagrass as he passed. There was a kraken sunning itself in the far east corner of the crown, a school of lemon sharks hunting a group of rays, and one pregnant tiger shark lazily swimming close by.
From what Rak could guess, the temple had always been underwater, and those that worshiped at it were sea-folk, or were given the ability to breathe under the waves by the god they loved.
The entrance to the temple could have been bigger hundreds of years earlier, but time and coral growth had it no bigger than three men wide. Rak weaved through the tunnel, remembering which passage was still open and which led to dead ends.
As he cleared the entrance, sunlight poured into the water above in golden ribbons. The carved ruin was massive, perhaps five times the length of Rak in his true form. Swimming up to it slowly, Rak felt the connection between him and his large friend thickening. He was asleep under the earth, yet conscious in his own way.
‘Little friend…’
Tongrak smiled, closing his eyes as he touched the stone.
‘I feel like I miss you, though you are always with me.’
Rak felt the swell of pleasure from his friend. He liked the idea of being missed.
It reminded Rak of the old days, when he couldn’t stray too far from their trench. Anything and everything would scare him into swimming back to his friend at top speed, slipping down into his nest to cuddle one of his many tentacles.
‘Always with you, my love…’
Suddenly, Rak wished he was under the earth; he wanted to touch his friend.
‘Do you remember my kin? As we were before we became the dark dwellers we are now?’
His large friend paused.
‘From time to time…but what I recall is not always what I have seen.’
Meaning, it may possibly be a memory of a soul he'd eaten…
‘Did you eat any sirens before we changed?’
If memories were what he sought, what better way than to see through the eyes of an ‘unchanged’...
‘Silver sun-chasers turned to pale trench dwellers overnight. Food is food…’
‘Does that mean we are cursed?’
His large friend pondered.
‘Cursed…is a fitting expression.’
‘Could you…share those memories with me?’
‘In time… need to uncover them first. Have not seen a silver sun-chaser in many lifetimes.’
Tongrak slid down to the uneven stone floor, leaning against the rune. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend that his large friend was nesting behind him.
‘I would like that very much, though it would make me sad.’
Curiosity swirled between their link.
‘Sad? Why?'
Tongrak looked at his elongated arms and fingers. Grimacing at how viciously sharp his claws were.
‘I heard that we were once beautiful, but now we are nothing but monstrous…predators.’
‘Everything is a predator to something. Even humans prey on small animals to eat. Our sweet boy thinks you are beautiful…’
‘My human shape…not my true form.’
His large friend thought Rak was peculiar. His form had never bothered him before.
‘You first swam near my nest; you feared me. Time eased your heart. Now, we are one…always.’
‘Always…’
Rak echoed, smiling to himself.
‘Bring him to me…’
‘I cannot! You said it yourself; humans are too weak of mind to survive you!’
‘Our sweet boy is not all human… I will take his life and give him a new one...’
'No… I love you, but the answer is no. The risk is too great. I will not endanger Mahasamut, nor will I make that choice for him.’
‘Bring him to me… Take him under the sea and make him ours.’
‘Again, I cannot! Merling sons can’t breathe underwater! You know this!’
‘Siren-mates can…’
‘WHAT?!’
Tongrak and his large friend spent more than a few hours speaking. Though the threaded link kept them in constant contact, it was the physical equivalent of Mahasamut texting or calling his family on that mobile phone. Seeing and touching them face-to-face was different. Better.
His large friend did not give up on Mahasamut but still confirmed that he would sort through the souls he had once consumed and send Tongrak their memories in the form of a dream.
They had shared a few close-to-the-surface memories. The knowledge of submerging a mate was not something that could be told or taught, but simply felt. If the siren’s desire for their lover was so great, they could think of nothing but pulling them under the waves and filling their bodies with life.
Sirens were no longer creatures of life, but they mated no differently than their ancestors. So in theory…it should work.
It certainly wasn’t something he planned to test that night. Mahasamut had stripped naked and walked into the water, mind set to embrace Rak, whatever his form. His lover was beautiful. Thick muscles moved under golden sun-kissed skin. Those black merling eyes and hair made him more stunning than any creature on this planet.
Soft, sweet lips had Rak mesmerized. Not to mention the enticing sight of his lover’s thick length, resting heavily between those strong thighs. Tongrak pushed everything in his mind aside and took a deep breath. Henry said to block out everything else and just move on instinct. Too let his consciousness go, but if he did that, there would be nothing left but an empty cold void.
Mahasamut began to swim towards him; being so close, it created a need inside Tongrak that pumped through his veins like nothing he'd ever experienced. That cold empty void inside him hungered for the child. His desire was building too quickly to think; it scared him. But the lusca said, "Don't think…"
Tongrak reluctantly shut down the link between them, leaving him filled with nothingness. All that was left was a burning, mind-numbing hunger.
A hunger to rip open that child and swim within the cloud of hot blood; his sharp teeth ached to bite and consume. He wanted to touch the child's insides, hold his struggling heart in his hands, and take his short life inside him forever. It was the only way to stop the hunger, the only way to feel warm…the only way to fill the never-ending emptiness…
The child got closer, and Tongrak followed underneath, just out of reach, as he felt the trepidation in the child’s heart. He could feel it fluttering in the water, sending Rak into madness. The lusca was wrong; his base instincts were telling him to tear the child into pieces and twist in his death until they were one.
As sirens and humans had done for years… In the end, he was no better than the rest of his kin.
He slowly reached up, fingers barely an inch from the child’s foot.
‘If you eat him now…there will be no after…’
Tongrak paused, fingers so close to the child. No after. If he caved to his basic instinct…there would be no more child to taste. He could only have him once but would spend his long lifetime craving him. Going slowly insane with each kill of a weaker substitute.
‘Your kin chose their fate; they turned their back on their god…on the one they loved. Will you do the same? Will you turn your back on him?’
To consume this child for a few short glorious moments, or face eternity starving for him?
In the silence of the water, Tongrak heard the child's heartbeat. Through the single thread, linked to his large friend, Rak found a memory. The same heartbeat thrummed inside his head as he rested against the child's chest. He slowly remembered soft kisses to his forehead and warm arms embracing him…
One memory bled into many, filling the empty void inside his soul like scorching bathwater.
Tongrak would die a thousand painful deaths for this child. He would swim into his kin’s black trench and embrace his mother to keep this child safe. Rak would rip open his own chest and gift his heart to this child if he asked. He loved him more than life.
‘Help me…’
He prayed.
'Please… I don’t want to be like this. I want to protect him… I want to cherish him… Please, friend…help me… I want to love him…I must love Mahasamut.’
A sigh of colossal magnitude spread between Tongrak and his large friend.
‘Always…’
He whispered.
The torturous hunger burning inside Tongrak's body began to relax. That sick whisper inside his mind telling him to hurt his lover was ebbing into silence. Rak could breathe easily once again, momentarily shocked at the insanity that had overtaken him.
Had he not shared a mind with his large friend, he would have surely made the worst mistake of his miserable life. Closing the distance between him and the one he loved the most, Tongrak curled his fingers around his sweet boy’s foot.
‘It is just me, sweet boy. There is nothing hunting within the crown tonight…’
The tiger shark had fled; tired and heavily pregnant, she didn’t have the energy to deal with the great white that was travelling towards warmer waters. The leviathans had already fed elsewhere, as was their nature to fill up their bellies and breed while they had the energy to burn.
Though outside of merling territory, his beautiful boy wasn’t comfortable being in dark waters. To calm that frantic heart, he moved up the boy’s legs, trailing his long nails gently over goose-bumped skin. He could still feel Mahasamut’s heart flutter nervously in the water, but it didn’t excite the feeding frenzy he had felt moments ago.
Tongrak rubbed his face against his sweet boy’s privates, smiling when he felt it thicken against his cheek. He heard the cry vibrate down into Mahasamut’s chest, vibrating through the water around them. Rak moved around to the back of him, cupping the boy’s perfect globes before spreading them. Being careful of his teeth, Tongrak dived in between them, licking a long line up the crease of his centre before spearing that tight heat with his tongue.
Any taste he could have had was washed away with the ocean, making Rak bury his tongue in deeper. It was easier, his teeth not feeling as long as they usually did. His tongue could extend further, twisting and flicking, while his sweet boy swore and flailed in the water.
His frantic splashing caught the attention of the great white. Though no blood was drawn, the creature was still curious. Rak pulled his tongue out of that tight little opening to lick a long line up his lover’s skin. Mahasamut was thinking about the bite mark on his neck. He was fantasizing about what it would feel like to have Rak’s sharp siren teeth bite into his flesh, scaring him for life. If his lover wanted it, who was he to deny such a wish?
Tongrak’s mouth felt softer around his sweet boy’s skin; he was trying to be gentle, but his face felt different, yet similar. He was able to suck onto the back of Mut’s neck, not latch, but suck. He trailed his tongue towards that love bite, only for his sweet boy to tip his head back, making it much easier.
Hugging an arm around Mahasamut’s broad chest, he curled a hand round his neck while sucking on that small wound hard. With his other hand, he pulled his lover closer, rubbing his front against that delectable backside. Tongrak had never fully extended his length from his protective pouch; he had only ever needed to let it out enough to pee.
But as he moved the front of him side to side against Mut’s skin, his length pushed past its pouch and pressed snugly between those firm cheeks.
His sweet boy panicked a little, yet Rak had no intention of taking his lover without consent. Instead, he cooed against Mahasamut’s heated skin, flicking his tongue over the bite mark. He rubbed his cock against his sweet boy’s hole, groaning as he felt it twitch against him.
Hugging him tighter, he spoke between their link. ‘Give me your mouth, sweet boy…’
Between them, Rak felt the unwavering trust Mahasamut had for him; it caused a hitch in his throat. How could he have been so stupid?! Shame began to build inside him; he'd been so close to ending it all tonight. How could he tell his lover he almost killed him?
Desperation and the thought of almost losing this boy had him kissing him like he needed it to live. The taste of Mahasamut on his tongue, the love between them flowing through their connection like a bloodstream. His lifeline.
Without breaking their kiss, Rak pulled them down under the waves. Missing pieces of his being were clicking into place, as he poured his desire and soul into the boy’s mouth. He felt something burning and intangible slip past his lips, settling down inside Mahasamut’s chest. This was going to frighten him, but Rak would hold his lover through the worst of it.
The first time was always the scariest…
‘I need air…’
Pulling his mouth away to give him a little room to breathe, Rak held his lover tighter. His heart was beating faster, and the instinct for oxygen was making Mahasamut begin to panic. Yet Rak held him through it.
‘Breathe. Trust me and breathe.’
When Rak first changed on the boat into his human form, it felt like his lungs were being wrung out dry. Had he not been hurting everywhere, perhaps it would have scared him the most. Still, Mahasamut trusted him, taking in his first breath. In his arms, his sweet boy's body jerked, naturally cutting off his oxygen supply.
Turning his lover in his arms, Tongrak sealed his mouth over Mahasamut's and blew water into the boy's mouth. He forced him to take in more before the last of the air bubbles finally slipped from his nose.
'Breathe, my sweet boy… I have you… I’ll always have you…’
Mahasamut began to breathe on his own, taking slow, shuddering lungs full. His heart was slowing down as the calm finally settled in.
‘...ughhh. That sucked! You wanna warn a guy before you go drowning him,, you fiend!’
His sweet boy's words were said in jest, but inside his beautiful mind, his thoughts scattered and swirled like forage fish.
‘I am sorry… I never intended to scare you.’
Tongrak kept his hands brushing over Mahasamut's skin. Hoping it soothed him.
‘I…don’t know what to say right now… I feel like I’m dreaming. Though if I were, you’d be fucking me…’
There was no denying the effect Mahasamut’s words had on him, not with the link strengthened between them. With his nails as long as they were, there was no way he could prepare Mahasamut for that…
‘You have stretched me out enough, Mr. Go-Until-I-Pass-Out! Just stick it…wait…does the shape change? I mean, as a siren, does it change shape too? … Why can’t I see? This would be easier during the day. Why does the salt still burn my eyes? Can we do this in the morning? Oi! Why are you annoyed?!’
Tongrak was annoyed but not at Mahasamut. He'd been enjoying the excitement buzzing around in the boy’s brain. But the great white had caught a whiff of the dead lobsters in the netted bag sitting on the sandy floor close by and was halfheartedly swimming over to investigate.
‘Noooope! Out! Out! Out!’
Unable to deny his sweet boy anything, Rak guided them to the shore before pausing.
‘Before breaking the surface, expel as much water from your lungs as possible, hold and go up. When you first breathe in, it will hurt, but…I believe it will get better.’
Mahasamut obeyed without a word, his mind thinking only of the shark. Tongrak waited until his sweet boy was crawling out of the surf, coughing the rest of the ocean water from his lungs, before grabbing the netted bag and crawling on the beach himself.
Knowing what to expect didn’t make the discomfort of emptying his lungs any easier, but his insecurities about still retaining his siren appearance until he dried out overpowered everything.
“Woah…”
His sweet boy croaked. Coughing quietly as he crawled towards Rak.
‘You are so much longer than a merling!’
Tongrak turned his face away, staring down the beach. He wanted to hide…
*CLICK*
He mentally groaned when he saw torchlight bathing his body.
'Um…question: do you change colors during seasons?’
That…was not a question Rak expected.
‘All your red is gone…’
‘What?!’
Looking down at his tail, Mahasamut wasn’t wrong. In the light of the torch, Rak could see all his red was gone, leaving nothing but pale white. Nothing else seemed changed, though… Were his arms shorter?
A gentle hand reached up and touched his cheek, startling him.
‘You don’t look like I remember…’
Tongrak slowly lifted his eyes to peer at his sweet boy. There was nothing but awe and curiosity swirling inside that beautiful mind.
‘I thought sirens had beaks… or at least their face structure sort of reminded me of a naked baby bird. But you have lips…and a cute little nose. How do you see out of your eyes? They're all white. Your hair is white…well, I guess all of you is. But can you see me now? Or just underwater? Are you breathing air? Can you feel yourself changing as you dry out…?'
Mahasamut spouted off a hundred questions at once; a thousand more were ready to fire. His sweet boy had moved closer, sitting cross-legged, while resting a bent knee against Rak’s tail.
His hands gently explored over his siren form, not in disgust or fear, but out of inquisitiveness. Fingers tucked a stray hair behind his ear before those fingers trailed over his ears, his neck, and his chest.
Mahasamut began to shiver at the night’s cold breeze but was simply fascinated by Tongrak’s body. He never took his hands off him. Even when his siren form dried up and fell away. Rak was pulled to his feet and walked back to the little beach house with an arm tucked tightly around his waist.
When the hot water shocked him out of his thoughts, he looked around to find himself in the arms of his sweet boy, sitting on the floor of the shower while scalding water rained down on them, reheating their skin.
Mahasamut was rocking him, whispering gentle, loving words against his ear. It was only then that he realized he was crying. Sobbing, to be honest. His sweet boy loved him, no matter his form. Mahasamut had survived the submersion… No matter what happened in the future, no matter what his sweet boy decided to do with his life, Tongrak could live well knowing deep down in the core of his soul, they were a mated pair….