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Sieun blinks once, twice, and a third time before he realizes where he is. The clinical white lights are familiar to him, like a memory stored in the back of his head that he knows is there, but cant remember exactly what it was. The light pierces his eyes like a needle and he has to fight the urge to squint and tuck his head under the blanket like a hermit crab. Theres the unmistakable smell of antiseptic lingering in the air, making the room feel smaller and more stale.
The sound of beeping is distant in the background and he has to strain to hear it. Theres commotion outside his room and he can hear voices murmuring and people walking by if the rustle of their clothes is anything to go by. Sieun feels sore all over as he attempts to move his neck just for him to wince in pain. He falls back onto his bed, clutching at it. Sieun strains to try and recollect the events following up to the present.
What the fuck happened? What is he doing laying in a hospital bed? Last thing he remembered was-
Oh fuck.
He remembers.
Sieun jolts upwards, ignoring the deep ache in his body. His eyes shoot wide open, realizing the situation as memories flood back to him. He scans the room, looking for Suho.
Fuck- Suho. Where is he?
The room is private, no Suho in sight. Sieuns heart starts to pound, setting off the heart rate monitor hooked up to him. It starts beeping endlessly and he knows doctors will come soon enough. He whips the blanket off of him, glancing down to see an IV in his hand. He grits his teeth, knowing what hes about to do will burn but- he needs to get to Suho. Sieun peels off the bandage covering the IV needle, breathing in when he holds the wings and tugs it out. Instantly, blood dots up and a stinging pain paralyzes his hand but he pays it no mind. Theres something more important at hand.
Sieun throws the IV wire back onto the bed and climbs out, his legs wobbling when they hit the ground. Its only when a stabbing pain jolts throughout his entire body that he lifts his gown to see bandages wrapped around his torso and legs. They have large splotches of blood on them, seemingly fresh. Hes dressed in a hospital gown with his shoes laying at the end of his bed. Sieun grabs them and slips them on one by one, before scanning the room for his clothes. They're nowhere to be seen.
He only takes one step before the doors to his room slide open and- police officers? What are police officers doing in his hospital room? Red hot anger pulses through his veins as he remembers what those fuckers did. He knows why they're here - to take him back to that cursed center that found joy in them suffering.
"Hey, kid! Slow down, woah- hey. Where you going? You need to get back in bed."
The officers pleas get more urgent when Sieun shows no sign of responding or listening. He glares up at them, baring his teeth in a rabid fashion. He sees the two of them step back an inch at the look in Sieuns eyes. The one in shoulder length hair hesitates, before reaching his hands out, palm forward, in a motion of placating him. Sieun sees his eyes flit downwards to the blood he knows is dripping onto the floor from where he pulled the IV out. The officer begins to talk lowly, as though hes an untrained dog about to bite them, which- he cant blame them. Given the chance, he might just. They're correct in being wary.
"Where is he?" Sieun talks through clenched teeth, fight or flight instinct focused directly on the former.
The pair exchange a look that Sieun cant decipher.
"Hey, how about you sit back down first and we can have a little chat, yeah? We have some questions for you."
The words instantly put him on edge. Sieun takes a step back, narrowing his eyes, lifting both his arms in a defensive position. "Fuck you. Where is Suho, you bastards?"
If they don't let him through, he'll fight them himself, whatever it takes. They wont take him or Suho back. He wont let them.
The shoulder length hair one begins to talk, still using that fucking voice that you use on spooked animals. "Ok, look. Kid, we're police officers. My name is Seok Dae and this is my partner, Wooyoung. We just want to know what happened to you. We're here to help-"
Sieun scoffs at that, cutting him off before he can spew any more bullshit. "Oh, huh. You think ill believe that? I know what you're here for. You are not going to take him. Leave him be, take me in exchange."
"Him? You're talking about Suho?"
His name coming out of their mouths has his hands shaking with resentment. He remembers what they did last time. The fucking police chief had tricked him once but- never again. He knows their goal, what they're going to do to him when his guard falls. Sieun will fall victim to their hopeful words, words that give him hope, only to rip it away by reporting back to-
Him.
Mad Dog.
A shiver runs down his spine at the thought of him.
He cant let Suho fall into his hands. Memories flash by in quick succession of Suho on his knees, a metal bat being swung onto his back as Sieun watches and cries silently. Mad Dog tells him if he makes a sound, that he'll add 20 more strikes onto it.
Nausea builds up in his system. He needs to see Suho before he bursts.
"Just- just let me see him. Ill go with you after I see hes alive."
Sieun watches as the boyish looking officer - Wooyoung? - tugs his partner back to whisper something in his ear as his eyes search for any sudden movement. Seok Dae pauses for a second before he nods in agreement. He looks back at Sieun before speaking.
"Ok, follow us. We'll take you to your friend."
Sieun doesn't make the mistake - like last time - of letting his guard down. They could just be saying that to make him lower it in order to catch him. He glowers. "You two walk first. Ill be behind you. And keep your hands out of your pockets."
Letting him go in front leaves him open to an attack on his back. He doesn't know whether or not they have a sedative with them and he wants to see if Suho is safe or not before they turn on him. The pair of officers are taking the good cop route, one he knows all too well. He'd rather just have them jump him at once than do this stupid fucking charade. Sieun is sick and tired of it at this point.
The two of them nod, keeping their hands where Sieun can see them. The pair turns their backs fully to him before sliding the door open and stepping out. He can tell they're making sure Sieun is in their peripheral without making it obvious. Sieun waits for them to begin walking down the hall before he trails behind them.
The sight they must be to residents of the hospital. Sieun can imagine how it looks to outsiders - a young, rabid looking boy trailing behind two grown police officers who are kept on edge by said boy. Nurses and doctors walk by, giving them second looks. The officers are silent but he can see them exchanging glances between each other, mouthing words that Sieun cant decipher. It makes his heart twinge with sadness. Suho and him have that unspoken way of communicating. It comes in handy when the centers guards are roaming close by and they need to talk. The two know each other inside and out- literally. Every second away from Suho leaves Sieun empty, yearning for when they can see each other again and bask in the presences of one another.
The pair of officers pause in their tracks, turning to Sieun. Seok Dae shows his empty hands, as if to calm Sieuns worries, before pointing at the room they stopped in front of.
"Hes in here. Now, listen, because of the situation, we have to be present for i-"
Sieun stopped listening. His sight hones in on the room and the faint beeping coming from inside. Suho.
Sieun bolts forward, hearing one of the officers yelp, sliding the door open and running in. Hes met with the sight of more officers, ones with notebooks and pens this time. Sieun bares his teeth before rushing past them and into the room. There.
Suho is there.
Sieun feels both paralyzed at the sight and so extremely gleeful that his heart is going to give out on him. If the heart rate monitor was attached to him still, it would have sparked and exploded with how fast the pounding in his chest was. Tears spring to his eyes, ones he knows Suho will tease him about. Its so unlike him to be acting like this but-
Suho is alive.
Hes alive and smiling at him but- theres bruises on his face and Sieun can see the white of bandages peeking out from under his gown and the force of the memories that crash into him make his head spin so hard that Sieun can barely breathe-
"Sieun-ah. Come here."
The waterworks break. Salty tears stream down his face as Sieun rushes to his bedside to get a closer look at him. Suho is smiling so greatly that his face is seemingly going to split. He can see droplets pooling at his eyes as well, mirroring how Sieun is feeling.
"Fuck, Suho. Oh my god, Suho. I thought- I thought you-"
Sieun can barely breathe.
Suho takes it in stride and tugs Sieun towards him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to bring him close to his body. The warmth of his skin alerts Sieun that this is not a dream and Suho is very much alive. The people in the room fade away to faint specks of his imagination as the world narrows down to the two of them. His face is pressed against Suhos chest and he couldn't imagine a better place to be. His worries drift away as the two of them sway with each other. Sieun is holding on to him for dear life, vowing to never let Suho go.
He clings on, running his hands all over Suho with no care in the world. He needs to ensure that Suho isn't broken in two, laying in this hospital bed with bandages that keep him whole. Sieun doesn't know how long hes there, holding onto Suho before his face is gently tugged away. Suho holds his face in his palms, searching his eyes.
"I'm right here, Sieun. Im okay."
Sieun cant hold his desperate cries back. The smile on Suho's face, it eats him up. Suho is always positive no matter the situation, always going about by seeing the bright side of things. Sieun knows in the very close future hes going to regret breaking down like this and the shame will eat him up but he cant bring himself to care all too much. Sieun had thought the two of them would die at Mad Dog's hand but- Sieun can feel the tendrils of guilt begin to slowly creep up on him. They wouldn't be in this situation if Sieun hadn't proposed escaping. Its his fault that Suhos hurt. Its his fault that Suho is wrapped up in bandages up to his neck, wincing at every movement.
Its all his fault.
"Sieun-ah. I can hear you thinking from here and I know exactly what it is thats going through that pretty head of yours." Suho talks in a low voice, attempting to sooth Sieuns worries. He shuffles closer and Sieun can see him holding back his groans of pain. It makes him feel even worse.
"No, Suho, I- Fuck, you wouldnt be here, laying in a hospital bed if it wasnt for me! I told you guys we could get out and- look what happened."
"Yeah, we wouldn't be here. We would be dead. You know how Mad Dog works. Sieun, you got us out. We knew the risks and we all took it anyways. Its not on you that we - I - got hurt." His tone softens as he tightens his grip on Sieuns face, as though trying to ground him. Suho attempts to quell his worries but he knows how Sieun gets.
"Where are the others?"
Suho shakes his head. "I don't know. I just woke up a while ago, I was asking the officers about you."
A voice clears their throat, catching the duos attention back to the strangers in the room. Sieun instantly puts up his guard and pulls away from Suho. They have Sieun and Suho in one room. He doesn't know what they're going to do. He turns his back to Suho, ensuring the officers are in his direct line of sight.
An unfamiliar officer speaks. "Im assuming you are Sieun?" Sieun just stares at him. Clearing his throat, he continues. "We'd like to question the two of you on the events from 2 days ago. Is that alright with you?"
Sieun can see Suho open his mouth in his peripheral vision, but Sieun beats him to it.
"Look, I know what you're here for. Stop with the act, I know you guys work for him," Sieun is desperate at this point. They haven't dropped the act yet and its grating on Sieuns nerves. "If you want to take us, it wont be without a fight." He growls out. He can feel Suho tug at his sleeve but he keeps on maintaining eye contact with the officers.
The officers in the room all share a look, furrowed brows and all. Sieun can see they do that often, communicating without words. Seok Dae receives whatever message their eyes are conveying and speaks up first.
"Sieun, I don't know what you think it is we do, but we are police officers. We're just here for some answers, not for any nefarious reasons you may think of," He steps closer to Sieun, which instantly raises his hackles. "The two of you were found unconscious under a bridge in the middle of the woods, covered in injuries. We have a couple of questions to help us figure out what happened, nothing more."
"Right, thats all you want. You arent going to bring me sweets to lower my guard, then sedate me and send me right back to that fucking place, right? Right?" He gets louder with each word, getting angrier as he remembers what they've done to him. Sieun has the right to be suspicious. Mad Dog told Sieun that every adult around them didn't care about what happened to them and if they tried to report him, they'd just be brought straight back to the center for a severe punishment.
And he was right. The police chief had sedated him and taken him straight back to Mad Dog. Instead, Sieun didn't get the punishment. Suho did.
Sieun can see the officers recoil at the sound of his growing voice, attempting to deescalate the situation with their waving hands but- Sieun can feel a sliver of hope begin to grow as he sees the confusion plastered on their faces. He wants to beat himself up for Suho pulls at his sleeve once more, hard enough to have Sieuns attention split to him.
"Sieun, I think they're telling the truth. Cmon, a hospital? If they worked for him, they would have taken us straight back, like they did with you."
"No, Suho, you weren't there. Thats what they want you to think. They all work for him, you know that. They're probably just giving us false hope. Remember? The chief said they find joy in giving us hope just to rip it away."
"Him? I've heard you two mention a 'Mad Dog' a couple of times. Is that the one who hurt you?"
"Hes… yeah. He is."
"Okay, do you guys know his real name?" They both shake their heads as the officer scribbles their responses down. Names weren't allowed in the center, only referred to by title or number. Regardless, when it was dark and nobody was around, Sieun and Suho would call each other by their real names as a last hope of holding onto their identities. Their names were the last things they had that tied them to their previous lives.
"Okay, we're going to need a description of him and an account of the events that led to your injuries. Would you guys be willing to provide that?"
Sieun and Suho both pause. Theres doubt slipping through his barriers. What if they actually wanted to help? But- but…. but Sieun doesn't know. Theres such genuine uncertainty in the officers faces that it throws him off. Sieun wants to bang his head into a wall.
He doesnt fucking know.
He just wants to be close to Suho and away from Mad Dog and the center and the guards that beat him black and blue - he just wants to be safe.
Sieun lowers his guard and steps closer to Suho, turning back. He searches Suho's eyes, which crinkle at the sight of him and he slightly nods his head.
Fuck it.
Hes going to take the chance.
Whats the worse that could happen anyways? The worst already did.
+
Seok Dae steps out, exhaling and slouching against the wall. He hadn't expected the case to turn out like… this. He rubbed his face with a huge sigh. Curiosity nudged at him though, and he was tempted to peek back into the room. The young boy with big eyes, he looked like he would beat Seok Dae if he even attempted to approach the boy in the bed. Sieun and Suho - what a pair, he thought to himself.
"They're something, huh?" His partner spoke up for the first time in a while. Seok Dae glanced at him, seeing the same mirrored position. They didn't realize this is what they signed up for. The case ran deeper than they thought, with systemic corruption in their job. They would have to find the police chief and bring his crimes to light to gain the boys trust. He understood their hesitation in trusting them. Seok Dae could see the emotional trauma and grief that was held in Sieun and Suho, with injuries that did not reflect their age.
"Yeah, but- it looks like they have each other." Wooyoung and Seok Dae smile, understanding what he means.
The pair were… devoted. The officers that were in Suhos room tell him that Suhos first questions were about Sieun, just like Sieuns were about Suho. The way Sieun reacted to the lack of his - friend? Best friend? Lover? Seok Dae didn't know, but it signaled a connection nobody could understand. Seok Dae - or anybody with functioning eyes - could see that the two had a deeper relationship than anyone could have imagined.
They had a lot of work to do.
+
The officers had left the room and the nurses had come to check on Suho vitals before leaving as well. Sieun could see them eye his gown, probably wondering what hes doing out of his room but they, smartly, did not comment on it. They could probably see how tightly the pair were holding hands and decided to leave it, understanding that they could not get the two of them to separate ever again.
Suho stroked Sieuns hands with his thumb, tracing the lines up and down his arms before repeating the actions over and over again. Goosebumps arose at the faint touch and Sieun felt hot to the core. They sat in relative silence, the privilege they never had at the center. It was always noisy and chaotic and someone was yelling and someone was being yelled at and beat and- it was a lot. They never really had the chance to be with each other in private, as they had to share a room with tens of other boys. The most they got was the corner of the room, under a single blanket in the dead of night. The rooms would get so cold and the thin blanket would be no barrier to it that they'd had to cuddle for warmth.
Suddenly, Suho tugs at his arm. Sieuns attention falls on him, as he nods towards the chair.
"Its uncomfortable, right? I can see you wincing," Sieun could never hide anything from him, and - he stopped trying. Sieun nodded and Suho motioned to the bed, scooting over. "Get in then."
Had this been Sieun before he met Suho, he would've denied vehemently to anyone asking. But it was Suho and they had been through so much together that Sieun didn't even try to fight it. Suho lifted the blanket up as Sieun climbed lowered the guardrails and clambered into the bed, squeezing himself as close as he could to Suho. If he could, he'd want to be fused together with him.
Suho wrapped his uninjured arm around Sieuns waist, bringing him flush against his chest. He wrapped the blanket tight around them, reminiscent of their center days - the only good memories he had from that place. A hand came up to stroke at his scalp and Sieun melted into the touch. It nearly had primal sounds arise from his throat.
"Sieun-ah. I missed you."
"You were unconscious, how could you miss me?" Sieun scoffed at the remark, fighting down a blush that threatened to take over his face and neck. The growing smile on Suho's face revealed it was a losing battle.
"I miss you all the time. Any second you aren't with me, I want you back. I mean, who wouldn't miss this face."
Sieun tried to fight it but he burst out laughing at the absurdity of the situation. A week ago, they had been formulating escape plans with the other boys and now- their lifelong dream to be free had been fulfilled and Sieun was laying in a proper bed with Suho. It felt so strange to him, like he was in a dream. Its all he ever hoped for.
Sieuns eyes crinkled, leaning over to meet Suhos lips. Suho responds instantly, tightening his grip around his waist, scratching his blunt nails against Sieuns side, making him shiver. They didn't rush their kiss like they used to - the kisses shared in the darkness of a shared space, brief pecks when nobody was looking, blowing air kisses at each other from across the room - no, they took their time. Sieuns lips parted, letting Suho take over and mold him the way he wanted. Suho licked into his mouth, tugging soft moans out of Sieuns throat. Their hands roam freely, as though taking mental notes of the curves and planes of each others body.
They parted after what felt like ages and Suho rested his forehead against Sieuns. They shared the same air, breathing in each others exhale. Sieun felt his heart in his throat, pounding at an inhumane speed.
Suho leaned in once more, nosing at him in a makeshift Eskimo kiss before kissing him on the forehead and tucking him into the curve of his shoulder. "Sleep. I see your eyes fighting to stay open."
They laid on the bed together, like they had so many times on the rock solid ground. But this time? This time they laid in safety, without the worry of being beaten and woken up by ice cold water. This time, they had some genuine hope.
Sieun falls asleep in Suho's embrace, the pair holding onto each other for dear life, ensuring they never separated again.