Chapter Text
PRE-HEATWAVE
Ryuk has started to believe Light Yagami may be less a proper human; more a strange bet the universe is trying to resolve. What if one gave a human every knowable advantage then anchored him with such an inherent sense of arbitrary duty towards lofty ideals all those advantages practically negated. Would he succeed? The extra note was in Light’s hands tonight. Ryuk has his holstered away. Elegant enough. But Light isn’t touching his note. His human heart is fluttering fast away with anger.
“I can't believe she isn’t calling me back…” Light has been pretending to himself this is about the hot water heater in this shithole being broken. It’s more about him being broken.
Ryuk attempted to defuse the situation with a clownish laugh. Earlier though, Misa had brought Light and him a picnic basket to find he was having a tennis match with some new guy hellbent on irritating Light at school. Misa had asked where she’d be able to watch them play so she’d be safe enough not to find pictures of herself plastered all over predatory fan magazines next day. Ryuk had advised Rem and her about the iron scaffolding up to a decent rooftop view from an adjacent building to the court.
With the shinigami Rem side-eyeing him, annoyed but never saying anything to dampen the mood, knowing he was only suggesting to go beyond the point of visibility, back to where a few shiny apples spilling out the top of the basket couldn’t be observed disappearing into his void of a stomach.
Light in the aftermath of inarguably poor choices has become uncharacteristically stressed. Ryuk can’t help himself, “Ya weren’t ’xactly nice to ’er. Thought yer whole thing was bein’ headsplittingly polite.”
“I was being excessively polite because she will get our operation found out behaving that way.” Light was gritting his teeth. “She can get over one picnic. I averted disaster. I need her place tonight.”
That had been a bizarre first day at college by what little Ryuk knew of human standards. Ryuk didn’t think it was advisable to wait, “Walk back to the shower rooms at the gym, Light-o. It’s hopeless. Even if she wanted to call ya back her shinigami hated yer attitude today. Rem’s a little more hands-on than me.”
Light looked at him like he’d gone crazy. “Why would she listen to some creature over Kira? You don’t understand women.”
Creature. How coy. This man didn’t understand what shinigami were, didn’t have an inkling. Light Yagami threatening a woman under a death god’s protection, after he felt she’d not been a good little pawn for him that day; would have been the last sentence ever uttered by any other man without a separate attendant death god with dibs.
“She needs to pick up the phone. I haven’t even been able to tell her that was L. I only need the name, then this can be over.” Yet Light had started their exchange absolutely livid she’d shown up to see him without discussing it beforehand. He’d abandoned her hanami picnic offering in spite; using callous words to reject his girlfriend. Rem’s radiating death stare might have laser-cut the outline of Light’s animated figure bloviating on the rooftop into the water tower, immortalizing it.
Ryuk sank half his body through the floor just to be eye level with Light, “If I told ya I was the devil would you act on it? What good reason does Misa Amane have to believe that is L?”
“You are a sad excuse for a demon, Ryuk. That man, however, was almost certainly L. He’s this close to catching us. He’s not so good I can't outmaneuver him. To think he’s already here at the school. The obvious next step is to collect the name while he brazenly shows me his face. Wait. Do you have some real reason to believe he wasn’t truly the L? What was in the name, did it not match at all? Maybe a decoy.”
“Don’ care about human names. See them to the point they all blur together. Do you hear yourself about a man who can’t even beat ya at tennis? He wasn't even cool. Oozing sweat on that court. I’ll admit, I felt bad for ya he got close enough for a jump scare. Did he stink?” Ryuk giggled roughly, phasing behind Light and leaning in. “I am L! Oooo. Boo!”
Light remained stubbornly upright, no sign of fear, every sign of quiet rage. “THAT WAS NOT MY POINT! You have to tell me if the name was similar. I’VE READ THE RULES!”
“This makes the second time today you’ve gone off on like a bomb over this name. Tell me I’ll get us all killed with my flagrant idiocy, if you so love repeating yourself ad naseum?”
“She could have ruined everything. Ryuk, the consequences of this falling apart are not jail.”
“Pointer. Don’t use a Death Note if Death frightens you. Not to harsh your mellow, Light-o, but even if they were only going to put you in jail I’m not going to watch you rot. I expected this to stay fun.”
“Do you not care about what I’m meant to do, shinigami? How is it you still threaten to kill me at the slightest prospect of boredom. You know you won’t stay bored.”
Meant to do. As if predestination were a thing. Ryuk is soft, because one day he must cut the thread, “Not a threat. I told ya my obligation.”
Things had become so tense around his Death Note user that one question might have made everything implode.
You alright, human? Ryuk mused uselessly, internally.
Knowing full well that his human didn’t particularly wish to think about things like that.
Finally, his human asked him something instead, staring at a still-empty voicemail inbox, switching over to empty SMS notifications. “You said this Rem was hands-on. Do you believe she instructed her to do this?”
Ryuk sighed, because whether Rem had or not, both ladies were out of frame. He chuckled darkly at the blame-shifting. “Ya ever think you’re too intense with folks, Light-o?”
Light entirely misread him, taking it as commentary on his earlier exchange with a dorm RA. “I didn't mean to be rude. Hot water heater barely works here. This place is falling apart.” Light stood up, looking uncharacteristically frazzled. “About Misa: I know she isn’t the brightest but she seemed to understand what us teaming up meant. She's unreachable and that's a threat to Kira. She told me she was willing to die for a new world, then she can’t be reached for one emergency. Should I write her name now?" The room pratically shook as the shinigami bowled over, "Ryuk! Why on earth are you laughing so much.”
“’Cuz it’s highly amusing.” The verbiage Light was spewing was delightful. He couldn’t write Misa’s name. He knew better than to pull that. Rem had promised she would kill him on the spot. “The new digs. Your spin on last week’s slowmo trainwreck.”
“I swear you would crack up at the sky for being blue. Can you get on task? Time is of the essence. You only have to tell me his name.”
“Yeahhhh, that’s always gonna be a no.”
“I thought you wanted to see something amazing Ryuk? Only I can show you that. The way things are going you’ll end up stuck in a life-long investigation with the guy you were making fun of for being sweaty. He’ll take your extra note if he can find evidence.”
Convenient use of “we,” as usual. Ryuk’s smile stayed steady. “Honestly, no. You believe sweaty and TV taunts guy are one in the same yeah? Light, it wouldn’t matter who it was. I don’t share names. Take the eye deal if you want it so bad.”
Light momentarily grimaced. Then the microexpression passed, his face a serene glass once more. “If I see his smug face again tomorrow I’ll strangle him with my own two hands. I can’t believe he’s always trying to mess with me. He’s surprisingly juvenile. I thought he’d be different.”
“Please do kill ’im. Semester’s a few days in. If ya finish your tedious school days story as quick as possible, maybe I won’t starve.”
“Great advice.” Light sneered and opened a textbook. “You truly only think about yourself.”
“Ah. Then I think we are both in the right company.”
Rem is braiding her possessee’s hair in four intertwining smaller braids two weeks later for a photoshoot in Namba when Misa plays Light’s most recent voicemail.
“Misa, I’ve been thinking all week about how best to support you. The only way I can help is if we stay in good contact. Please call me back. We can meet at that restaurant you mentioned—”
Rem deletes the message before it so much as finishes.
“I think he was talking about Ginza. I mean, that might be special!”
“Misa.”
“I bet he was in a mood that day. You know how men are.”
Rem looks unconvinced. “If you feel the need to go back there, I must kill him to keep you safe. His temper is too short. There are ten million better men. Gelus’ notebook is meant for your hands only. If you care about his mission, simply assist from afar.”
“I don’t think he has a temper. He said I was being dangerous. I probably was.”
“That’s interesting, because I never saw you get pursued until the day you visited him on campus.”
“If I get caught then he would get caught. That would be so bad, Rem.” Misa buried her face in her hands. “Oh no, I really can’t be answering his calls. Do you think those people at To-Ou were plainclothes police? My stalkers can’t possibly afford cars like that. Jeez, I can’t get him into this mess.”
Plural stalkers and worried about this singular fool. Rem could have screamed. But whatever reason Misa was staying away from her fatal attraction was good enough for her.
“I hope he didn’t actually book the place.” Misa continued, lamenting. Rem helped her shrug on a fleece jacket with tiny horns on the hood, black bat wings printed on the back. “Some other woman will definitely try to get in on that date. Imagine, Light, stood up. What if she’s cuter than me?”
That was a categorical impossibility but Rem would not be responding to compliment-fishing this early in the morning. “Is your jacket also the gothic lolita brand?” Rem distracted, trying to move her away from her sympathy for the devil and on to her schedule.
“No but it’s warm and cozy. Like you.”
Rem was cold, in all ways. Her massive hands twitched with an unfamiliar longing, yet she kept them to her sides, wishing to wrap them around the petite waist of her lovestruck charge. It was hard to keep the feeling down.
The maître d’ had seated the second guest before Light could object, and the second guest had immediately ordered the cake set before Light could object to that either.
“You’re aware you are making everyone here extremely uncomfortable.” Light cut his prime rib into tiny ribbons, slowly.
“How so?” The gateau chocolate was his second cake. “It’s a cake set. This place has world class service. I think they can handle it, Yagami-kun.”
“I…” Light nearly stumbled. “So how has To-Ou been treating you? Since you insist on joining me.”
“I barely pay attention, it’s under my pay grade. Have you found it to be an appropriate stage for Kira, or are you eyeing a different venue by now? Kira’s activity hasn’t been much lately.”
Light kept his face blank. “Will I need to ask you to sit somewhere else again.”
“I can go back to my original table if your date has gotten here, but I’d hate for a new friend to sit alone. I should probably—” L glanced at the menu. “I’m looking forward to the caramelized pear tarte.”
“Yes. What a strange coincidence for us both to be here at the same time. She isn’t.” The ribbons were getting smaller. “Coming. It would appear.” Misa Amane would have been on time. He was honestly starting to think she may have died, failing to meet him at the Keiyo. But then, apparently this weirdo would have been here too and she and him would have had to talk about.. ugh... anything else. So much for a private conversation.
“Hm.” L accepted this as if Light were telling him about the weather. “Another pear tarte and top off my pot of Earl Grey, please,” he told the server, who did not mention the dress code. “You should have a taste of the tarte. You haven’t eaten anything.”
“Yes. I stopped feeling like eating after you put your socks up on your chair.” Realistically, Light lost his appetite trying to understand how in the hell L had gotten the information he would be here tonight.
“You’ve dissected that innocent steak.” L looked at the prime rib situation without expression. “It’s worrisome, Yagami-kun.”
Ryuk, who had been interspersing L’s surprise visit with charming suggestions like “tell ’im to scram,” had started dramatically miming for Light to leave. Tapping an imaginary watch. Running in place. Light felt he was more annoying than the detective. He set down his knife with finality. The check he’d requested early had already arrived. “Enjoy your evening.” He was terse but polite. The waiter took his entrée to box it.
“With such a skilled kitchen at my disposal I’m pretty pleased. They might be better than my personal chef. They do fascinating things with fresh fruit. I wonder if they like apples.” A flourish on the way he ate, and a pause in which the caramelized pear tarte arrived with remarkable speed. “Yagami-kun? Odd choice for a Tuesday.”
Ryuk was crawling the walls of Light’s dorm, reaching the ceiling far quicker than back in the bedroom at home.
“You gave in fast, kiddo. Let ’im suck up all the air in the whole space.”
Light set his jacket over the chair with more precision than it required, folding the sleeves into a perfect rectangle. “I don’t understand what you are talking about.”
“Nah see, I think ya do, cause I watched this guy you didn’t invite eat four desserts at your expense while you sat there cutting food like you’d been called to surgery. The move was standing up and leaving him with the bill. Pride had ya making other choices.”
“He paid.” Light bristled, thinking Ryuk hadn’t been paying attention. “If I had immediately fled he has real reason to think I need to run from him.”
“No, terminal slouch only has reason to think he’s a presumptuous dickbag who inserts himself into places he knows he doesn’t belong. Tell ’im your girlfriend has called, ya gotta run, give the old maître d’ a smart nod, walk out. Then he’s sitting there with his joke of a diet and nothing to show for his attempt to needle you but a theory.”
Light didn’t accept this. “He would have followed me out.”
“Maybe. Ya could have gotten moving and he’d have been busy paying. No sane observer would have thought you were treating him.” Ryuk’s grin was enormous. “Sure he found ya, but ya had cards you didn’t play, Light-o. Just sat holding ’em while he observed ya a little closer than before.”
“I was gathering information too.”
“What information. Tall, thin and miserable; enjoys pears. That he’ll say the word Kira directly to your face in a quiet restaurant. He knew ya couldn’t do anything about it. That’s not him giving ya information, that’s him showing ya he no longer has cause to hide anything.” Ryuk dropped through the ceiling to eye level, yet it never appeared to catch Kira off guard. “Let him eat the whole of the tab, Light-o. Wouldn’t have been much. But it’s something. Even Kira should know when to fold.”
Light reevaluated him then. Always the judge. Amber eyes stilling until Ryuk could see them go quick with quiet realization. Ryuk had a distinct sense of the scales tilting in his favor