Chapter Text
Xaden:
I fucking hate Chantara.
But Liam got to Basgiath a night early and I snuck him out of the inn he was staying at with Lindell and here we are in a dark tavern with too many loud people and shit ale.
I’m sitting at a table with Bhodi and Garrick while Imogen throws knives at the target they have on the back wall. Claiming she was trying to get free drinks from some infantry asshole, but I know she’s trying to make Garrick jealous. They’ve been doing this dance back and forth for an entire year since she entered the quadrant, and it’s just so fucking exhausting. The man we came here for is sitting at a completely different table, talking to some girl. She’s pretty enough, I guess. Honey colored skin and light brown hair. Delicate, is a word that describes her well, small slim fingers slash through the air as she signs to him enthusiastically. Maybe he will get lucky. Hopefully, she has a room in this town somewhere because I doubt Lindell will sleep through those noises.
“Look at that girl,” Garrick says while he hits my shoulder staring at Imogen, at least I thought he was. “She’s playing against Immy. Look at her fucking aim, she’s two points from winning and making our night absolutely terrible.” I would like to say that he’s wrong about our fiery pink-haired friend, but she is a sore loser, and has also downed at least three glasses of this swill they call alcohol. I sit up straighter to see the top of a brown haired head and a dagger flying from her direction right into the bullseye. “Are you sure it’s a girl, and not a child? I can’t even see her over the other people.”
He just snorts and his eyes brighten when Imogen curses loudly from across the room. “I can see her from here. She’s hot, go talk to her.” I just look at him with bored eyes, “Why would I do that?” His massive shoulders shrug as he sips his drink, “I don’t know, it’s been like three months since Cat, she seems dangerous because of the knives and such, sounds like a perfect fit.” Yes, because I’m going to finally break my self-imposed celibacy just for a woman I haven’t seen who can throw with accuracy. You know who else had good aim and violent tendencies? Catriona, and I’d rather see fucking Malek than go through anything like that again. I’ve learned my lesson. Sex is never just sex when you have my last name, or the emotional range of a fly like I do.
Bhodi laughs before he downs the rest of his shit drink and fully turns around in his seat to look. “Oh yeah, she just won. I’m going to go get Imogen before she starts a fight again.” He sighs as if this is an everyday occurrence, and in a way, it kind of is. Being in the same year as her, poor Bodhi has had to keep a close eye on our more volatile friend. “One more angry outburst and I’m going to make her visit a temple, and then smack the shit out of you Gar.” He inhales an angry breath with a look on his face that says he has no idea what Bodhi is talking about, but we both ignore him. We finally had peace and quiet for all of two weeks after threshing last year. Immy and Bodhi learned how to shield, we brought them into the dagger operation which was so fucking helpful. Everything seemed to be clicking into place, until Garrick had sex with someone from her wing and here we fucking are. He still won’t admit anything is going on with them, and I still remind him daily that he’s a liar and relationships are the stupidest thing you could possibly do to yourself.
Gods I wish I were back in my room, asleep. Tomorrow is conscription day and I fucking hate them. I’ll be on the entry side of the turret so I can look out for any marked ones, and hear dozens of people die pointlessly trying to become one of Navarre’s ‘elite’ riders. Bhodi starts walking back with his arms thrown over Imogen and the mystery marksman and when they clear the crowd I can finally see her.
Fuck, she is definitely not a child, and is in fact very hot.
Small but fucking toned and curvy in all the right places, warm brown hair with purple tips and and a tight white dress on that shows off very generous cleavage for someone so small. Thankfully, she doesn’t notice me staring at her as I ignore Garrick, and she stops at the table Liam is at to sign to the girl on his left. They must be friends. I can’t see her hands to see what she’s saying and I’m momentarily distracted from my curiosity when I see a wide smile flash on her face before she starts talking to my foster brother. Damn, maybe it has been too long.
I can’t hear anything they are saying so I lower my shields just a little, even though in such a crowded area it usually just gives me a headache. I can’t help myself, I am for some weird reason immediately enamored with the small woman. Her intentions come through clear as a bell without me having to focus on her, which is rare.
He’s cute, but she doesn’t do one-night stands. Poor guy.
Poor Liam. The thought is fleeting as she pats his shoulder and turns my way. Bhodi sits down across from me again with a huff, and I slowly blink as if I’m completely bored and not eye fucking some stranger that’s about to come up to us. “I invited her over, Imogen owes her a drink now since she won” I make a noise in my throat as I sip my drink, the picture of composure. In reality, my shadows are alerting me to every single step she’s taking towards me, and they almost pulse with excitement as she nears the table. “This is Violet,” Bhodi announces, smiling at her like they are best friends and didn’t just meet five minutes ago. He points at the empty chair at the end of the table between him and me and she goes to sit down. “I’m Garrick. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he gives her a flirtatious smile and her laugh tinkles around me like the sweetest music I’ve heard in a long long time. “I’m only here because I’m owed a drink, and this one—” she points at Bhodi, “Told me about his chicken shit cousin that was too scared to talk to me.” Gods her voice is even better than the laugh, I shoot a glare at Bhodi as he gives me a wink. “Not scared, just didn’t feel like getting up” I shrug. “Well, I’m sorry I don’t make the cut.” She grabs her chest in mock hurt. I give her a very appraising look, and make it apparent I like what I see as a smirk pulls at my lips. “Oh, I didn’t say that.” Fuck it, I’ll flirt. It has been a while, and honestly in the quadrant before my betrothal became active I didn’t have to flirt. Every rider fucks and fights like it’s their last day alive, and even the man with a dirty relic is good enough to relieve some stress with.
Her eyes sparkle mischievously, and she also looks me up and down languidly. When they leave my face I give myself a moment to truly appreciate one of the best features on her. A beautiful shade of blue, with amber swirls through them, I’ve never seen eyes quite like hers. “So, are you here for conscription day?” Bhodi asks, breaking our heated silence and she grimaces. “Yeah, I guess”
“Which quadrant?” Imogen breathes out as she slides ale to Violet and slumps on the chair by Bhodi. Her tone is a lot friendlier than I would have expected. Did Cardulo actually make a friend that she wasn’t introduced to as a child?
Insane. Like I’m one to talk.
Violet snorts, “I don’t know yet. Which one should I go for?” She plucks at my black long-sleeve shirt with her small fingers, “Let me guess, the riders' quadrant is the best?”
“You don’t know what you're going to pick and it’s tomorrow morning?” Garrick asks with a laugh and she smiles while shaking her head in return. “I try to leave life-changing decisions to the very last second,” that earns her a laugh from everyone including a surprising Imogen, but I just cock my head and look at her. Under the smiles and bedroom eyes, she is definitely nervous. I lower my shields again and focus on her, letting those clear thoughts run through my mind again like they belong there.
Just don’t want to spend my last night thinking about that fucking parapet.
Ahhh, so the small beautiful woman is going to be a rider, or die trying.
“Maybe healers?” Imogen says while taking a sip and she shakes her head, “I’m too violent”, and she gives her quick smirk. “Scribe?” Bhodi tries, “Mmmm, too boring,” but I see her brow furrow in displeasure quickly before she smooths it out again, “Infantry it is I guess” she says shrugging and Garrick just snorts into his glass, “That’s the fucking boring one babe.” Her eyebrows quirk up at that, “Boring? First on the ground, dying by the hundreds while you guys just fly around in the air. That doesn’t sound boring.” He laughs, “Exactly, we fly in the air. Nothing beats that.” She just scoffs and finally takes a drink, “Riders, all of you are arrogant pricks,” she makes a noise of disgust and a sour face, “Gods this tastes like shit.” I find myself actually smiling for the first time tonight, as everyone else chuckles. Garrick quickly stops and acts surprised, “Did I just hear the great and broody laugh?” I flip him off as my face falls back into its normal scowl, I’m not that broody, but fuck if I don’t have reasons to be. “You’re just not funny dick.” He returns the vulgar gesture as he blows me a kiss.
“So Violet, you're single right?” Garrick says as he turns his head towards her with a mischievous smile while Imogen shoots him a very obvious glare, well there goes that budding friendship. Thankfully, Violet just laughs at his terrible flirting, and just with the sound of it my convictions finally break.
Maybe I’ll take her home tonight.
Hopefully, she has a room, or I could just bathe us in shadows and use the wall outside. Whatever.
“Yes, I am. Which is why I’m here the night before conscription, not thinking about my future.” She replies running a delicate finger down the side of her glass. I’m about to start flirting again, or just be blunt. I want to leave this shit hole, and possibly end my night doing something physical so I actually get some sleep for once. The front door to the tavern creaks open behind me, she glances at it and I see her eyes widen. She whips her head towards the right and puts a hand over her face.
“Fucking fuck. Why are there so many riders here? I thought you guys couldn’t come to Chantara!” She aggressively whispers. I look over my shoulder at who came in and internally groan. Fucking Aetos, well my night just got more annoying. I can’t even escape the walking codex when I leave the depressing halls of Basgiath. “They just gave us back permission, why?” Bhodi asks while looking around. Violet ignores his question as she gets out of her seat and crouches slightly to creep behind her chair.
“The guy who came in, he is—we were—he’s just fucking annoying alright? And he will not leave me alone if he sees me. I have to go.” She is skulking behind me now when I see Aetos start to turn our way. I get up quickly without really thinking about it to stand in front of her. I lean in so close that my body is pushing her up against the wall and electricity zaps through where we touch before I throw my hands on either side of her.
“What are you doing?” She hisses, giving me a questioning but not uninterested look, “Saving you from that asslicker Aetos.” She groans softly under her breath as he eyes roll, “Of course you know him,” and then she laughs quietly like at some internal joke between her and herself. “I guess he hasn’t changed much since he entered the quadrant.” I barely want to think about the annoying man I have the displeasure of seeing around the halls, and I sure as fuck don’t want to talk about him now. So I make the quick and possibly reckless decision to try and take this alluring woman to bed.
“Leave with me” I breathe out as I dip my head closer to her face and trail my nose up her jaw. “What?? I just met you!” The words imply outrage, but her tone is all heat. I bet if I looked at her intentions right this second, she would be thinking about how good this position would feel without clothes just as much as I am.
I shrug nonchalantly and pull back to give her the full force of my lust-filled gaze, “So? I want to fuck you.” I state it like the fact it is, coming over to a table full of riders and throwing daggers for sport makes me think she is a bold type of woman. My type, honestly. “Do you want to fuck me?” I whisper in her ear and feel her shiver in response. I finally do lower my shields once again, and I’m thankful that my dragon is off doing something I’d rather not picture right now, so that she can’t see just how reckless I’m being.
Fuck yes
“I don’t have anywhere to take you, and I’m not sneaking into the riders' quadrant.” She says with laughter in her voice. Shit. “Outside?” I try because apparently months without any sort of physical touch has made me desperate. I just didn’t know it until I saw her. She just gives me a half-hearted glare and I return it with a sinful smirk that I’m hoping sways her. She bites her lip, making little indentations on her skin and I can practically see the war going on within her mind.
Knowing my luck, someone I know will catch us. Her thoughts start to tip her over the edge of my denial, and I don’t want to hear it. If just the hope that this woman actually does make it across the parapet so I can have a little fun gets me through tomorrow, I’m going to take what I can get. “Find me after conscription. I’m a third year.” Her eyes seem relieved, as if she also didn’t want to end this surprising encounter, and they become playful again. “You'll fuck a first-year cadet? And how exactly do I find you when you riders never leave your quadrant?” I give her a knowing smile, which I hope adds to the mystery that will make her want to seek me out. “Maybe you’ll choose to be an arrogant prick like the rest of us so I can see you.” I lean in and the floral scent coming from her hair overpowers me, “and don’t worry, I’ll break my rule about no first years just for you Violet” Someone behind me clears their throat loudly, which is the only thing that snaps me back to my senses that this woman has robbed me of. I turn my head over my left shoulder to look at the reason any of this is happening, and see that Aetos is turned toward the opposite way.
“Now’s your chance, go,” I whisper in the shell of her ear even though I want the exact opposite. Too bad Zinnahl has never favored me, and my night has to end like they always do.
With me alone.
She leans in, flicking her eyes over my shoulder, “Tell my friend I left and thank you.”
The light kiss she places on my cheek threatens to make me smile like a gods damn teenager. Thankfully, no one sees it as she pushes off the wall and ducks behind a group to run for the door. I give myself all of two seconds to watch her leave and also rein in the questionable emotions a stranger just made me feel. I haven’t pursued a woman since I lived in Trivainne, when I used to them drown out the loneliness. I still used them for the same things here, but Cat made me realize I would rather be lonely than stuck with a psychotic partner. I turn back to the table and I shouldn’t be surprised to find all of them are staring at me. I glare back at them, purely because I don’t want to have to explain myself.
“What the fuck are you looking at?”
———————
Violet:
I can’t stop fidgeting as I walk through the main college towards the quadrant entrances. The clothes Mira just snuck to me are too fucking tight. Suffocating. She hasn’t seen me in two years so I know she didn’t realize how aggressively I have been working out, but fuck it’s all chaffing. Even the dragon scale corset laced tightly up my spine feels wrong, but that one might just be my nerves. I duck my head as I approach the tables for the riders' quadrant. Turning it to the left where I stare longingly at the scribes walking through their doors, not worried if they are going to die before they can become a cadet. Gods, what have I gotten myself into? My mother, who just briefly bid me farewell, get fucked, see you in three years, don’t let your father down, is standing at the very end with Captain Fitzgibbons who is taking the names of prospective riders. I beeline it away from them both, using my small stature to my full advantage, and have to choke down a frantic laugh. Watch me get fucking caught in the first five minutes. Years of planning down the drain because my mother is only present and available for the faceless cadets that walk through her halls.
I go all the way to the end and see her turning to walk towards the other end of the room and send a silent prayer up to every god who is on my side this morning. I end up in a longer line with some other rider signing people in, and I try to crouch in a way so that the man next to me blocks me from the other side of the room. As I wait in line before my possible, even likely demise, I have so many doubts. I can’t believe I’m really doing this. I mean I know this has been the plan for about four years, but Dad’s dead now and I feel out of my depth. I’ve trained, I’ve practiced, I even dyed my fucking hair so I could slip past people who would know me by the weird silver tips I have. The 10 bottles of hair dye clink on the books and journal I brought with me. My hand flies up to my hair as I take another step forward, I pull a piece out of the braid and exhale when I see purple.
I clamp my hands down to my sides and try to exude confidence, I feel like somewhere in this mass of bodies, my new squad mates are watching me spiral from sheer terror. The man in front of me walks off and my eyes widen when I step up to the front, it’s finally my turn to give my name.
“Name?” The rider says without looking up.
I open my mouth and then…hesitate. I’ve been through this a million times. I have to go by Violet. There are too many people who might see me and yell it out, and how would I explain that? I just need to make it past the parapet and then my mother can’t do shit about me not joining the scribes. She would never break a rule, especially for family. He looks up now at me, like I’m an idiot as the man behind me groans, “Hurry the fuck up little girl, some of us want to be riders.” Anger and embarrassment bloom in my chest which thankfully makes words finally come out of my mouth. “Violet Daxton,” I say between clenched teeth.
I’m using my father's surname, because he loved my mother so much that he all but erased himself completely, and I'm doing this for him. “Go to the stairs and walk up” the man says looking down again with disinterest. For the first time in my life, I don’t get a weird stare or an incredulous look at my last name, and I smile as I turn around. The rude man behind me is looking down at me, since he’s so tall and I am sadly not, with a sneer on his face. His ice blue eyes are already filled with hatred I don’t deserve and his face just looks punchable, but I refrain. I give him my best General Sorrengail look and turn to shove past him to head to the stairs. That will be the last time I think of my ass of a mother while in the quadrant. I cut through the line of people still crouching, having lost the visual on my mother, and start to panic that she’s lurking near the stairs as I almost kick into a jog. I look wildly to the left and right as I go to climb the steps and run right into the back of someone. “I’m sorry!” I squeak out before I can stop myself. We might be walking upwards to our deaths, but I still can’t help not being a prick. Hopefully, the other riders don’t notice and shun me for it. The woman in front of me turns with a smile on her face that is way more welcoming than I thought anyone would be here. She has dark brown skin, amazing cheekbones, and braids going down her head that stop at her neck, an ethereal sort of beauty especially clad in all black already. She’s also about 8 inches taller than me.
“It’s okay, just so excited to get up there huh?” I try to give a convincing smile, but it comes out as a wince, “Yeah, that’s it.”
“I know I am!” A tall skinny man with brown hair says from in front of her. We are all squeezed into the staircase tightly as more people join behind me. We start to climb and she turns back around but speaks loud enough for me to hear over the other chatter, “I’m Rhiannon Matthias.” The man turns around again to smile at us both, well mostly her since she is blocking his view of me, “I’m Dylan.” I just nod thinking about the quick words of wisdom my sister gave me before I came down here. Form no attachments, only allies. “I’m Violet Daxton,” I say my name in an off-handed tone, it’s not hard to be stand offish as I picture a million different ways I’m about to die within the next hour.
As we climb up into the air both Dylan and Rhiannon are chatting back and forth about the perks of the quadrant we are about to try and enter as if that makes up for the sheer brutality of what we are about to endure. Dylan pulls a necklace out of his shirt with a ring around it “—They also let you marry earlier than the other quadrants, you can do it right when you graduate.” He holds up the ring and turns slightly to show us as we slowly ascend the stairs. “I was going to propose before I entered the quadrant but she said it was bad luck, so this is going to be a long three years but it’ll be worth it.” I really wish I thought that was sweet, but it sounds like the start of the most tragic story ever so I turn my gaze so he doesn’t see the pained look that crosses my face as anxiety churns in my gut even more.
I want this, I can do this. I try to breathe in deeply. This is what I can do to make a difference, to help the people beyond the wards, to kill the fucking Venin that Navarre lies about. I find peace in that fact and my heart beat slows a little. Rain starts to hit the side of the railless staircase we are on and I look down towards my boots and thank Mira again, but my eyes travel in front of me to Rhiannon’s and I notice that they have no grip on them at all. While heavy-duty and great for kicking someone and creating maximum pain, they are absolutely useless on wet stone, just like mine were that I threw into the corner of my old room an hour ago.
Don’t do it, Violet.
You don’t know her.
I tune back into their conversation just in time to hear her talking about her twin back home who’s pregnant.
I’m going to fucking do it.
We pause slightly to wait for the line to move again and I lean into her and whisper, “Trade me a shoe.” She just looks down at me in confusion making a line form in between her perfect brows. “It’s raining, your boots have no traction. Swap one with me” Her eyes widen, and then look down to the foot I’m currently holding out towards her so she can see the lined bottom of it. “Why would you do that for a stranger?” She asks, shaking her head and making her braids fly a little around her shoulders. “Well after we both make it, we can be friends.” I smile, completely throwing Mira’s advice into the open air next to me, because I can’t just stand here and watch someone die if I could possibly help them. “—and I’m serious we better both make it, I refuse to walk around in what I assume is a huge boot for weeks.” I add giving her an easy look so she doesn’t think this is some sort of ploy to get her shoeless or something. She tilts her head for a moment, like she’s thinking before she gives me a quick nod and stays bending down, “Alright, let’s do it.”
We quickly change and when I’m lacing up the awkward big boot I see a man pushing through the other people behind us, I stand up straighter and realize it’s the asshole from downstairs. He tries to push through me and I hit him down with my shoulder, which makes it fucking hurt but it doesn’t pop out of its socket, so it’s a win.
He just glares at me again as Rhiannon snaps, “Watch yourself asshole.” She bears her teeth at him in a menacing smile and I’m already happy about the friendship/alliance I’ve made.
We go up two dozen more steps and I can feel the wind and rain on my face now and my stomach might fall out of my ass. No matter how many times I practiced this, it’s not the same as actually walking 200 feet in the air. Walking the balcony outside the training yard at night became almost second instinct after a year, but when I fell, it only resulted in two broken ribs and a sprained ankle. Well, if I die, at least Jesinia will send out all my letters I left for her, word will spread fast enough for the citizens of Navarre to learn the shit that goes on outside of their home.
I guess it’s a win-win either way, if you're not me.
My eyes look up to meet the sky and I breathe in deeply before I take the final step onto the platform of this turret. My eyes roam around, to look at anything but the death walk I’m about to do. I need facts, I need a distraction, I need to fucking breathe. I can’t go out there like this. My eyes flick hurriedly to the left and I see a rider holding the scroll directly in the rain to take names. Another one standing at the far corner that looks like he’s doing nothing but being huge and making sure no one starts shit up here, and then my eyes land on the one in the middle of them turning around from the wall.
Oh fucking gods.
It’s the man from last night, I didn’t even get his actual name, just the name of all of his friends. He still looks fucking delicious, especially now in leathers and strapped with a million weapons.
Gods, I have a fucking type now apparently.
He turns to the side and my eyes widen when I see the rebellion relic swirling up his arm, under his short-sleeved shirt, and then coming out again to stop on his neck. I thought the little bit I saw last night was a tattoo damnit. Well, that ended quickly. He might be the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen, but I can’t sleep with someone who would want to murder me more than fuck me if he learned my real name. I try to look away in hopes that he won’t recognize me, but my eyes zero in on Dylan stepping out onto the parapet as the storm slams into him.
Nope never mind, can’t look.
I find the gorgeous man again because my eyes seem to have a mind of their own right now and say fuck it, I can still look at him, at least to distract myself. The rider with the scroll’s voice carries from where he’s standing, “I’m ready for another one Riorson,” and the gorgeous man turns to nod as the blood drains from my face.
Xaden fucking Riorson.
Why past Violet, why did you go out last night?
Not only is he a marked one, but he’s like the head marked one. The original marked one. The son of Fen Riorson. Who was murdered for trying to tell the truth and protect the people beyond the wards. Captured by none other than my mother. Fuck, I really have to stay away. He would want to kill me instantly and he has every right to.
I turn away to look at Rhiannon so I can get my face under control as she steps forward and she looks back to yell, “You ready for this Daxton?” And with that, Xaden turns my way and I see recognition, and the same sinful look in his eyes as last night. Amari help me.
He surprises me, when he strides forward to stand in front of me and crosses his arms so that he’s almost looming over my small stature. “So riders' quadrant after all? Please don’t tell me you chose this because of a stranger in a tavern.” He smiles wickedly and it’s almost as if we are the only two up here now. My terror is temporarily forgotten as I live in a dream world where I’m not the daughter of his father's killer. “What a real arrogant prick thing to say.” I rasp, swallowing down the anxiety in my veins, the fact that he is wildly good-looking, and my attempts to push all of my very real, very present problems away. “Oh you're going to be a great rider, look how fucking good you look in black already.” He says scanning my body from head to toe until he stops at my left boot and tilts his head.
“Everything ok?”I hear Rhiannon yell from the entrance and I flick my eyes over to see her standing at the opening with both hands braced against the stone arch around her.
“Yeah, we are just old friends!” I yell back and she flicks her brows up in question like she isn’t about to walk out into open air and has time for gossip. “Speaking of friends,” his deep voice brings my attention back to him and he looks pointedly at her shoe, well my shoe on her foot, and then back at me. “We just met like ten minutes ago” I shrug like it’s not a big deal but I can already feel all my intrusive thoughts flooding back into my brain.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” He says looking at me like I’m weird, and I guess it’s kind of odd to put yourself in danger before putting yourself in more danger, but sometimes smart people can be very very stupid. I stiffen when I hear a yell and I look out almost in slow motion to see Dylan slip to the side. I can see the moment the wind catches his pack, the moment I know he won’t recover, but he surprises me by grabbing on to the slick stone with both hands. “Pull yourself up!” Rhiannon starts to shout, and even takes a step out as if she’s going to go to him, but it’s too late. Dylan’s hands give out, and him, the engagement ring around his neck, and the entire person someone else’s life revolved around before they made the mistake of coming here falls into the fog covering the ravine.
I thought I could do this. I saw my father die, I lived through Brennan, but this is different. This is..pointless. I blink rapidly as I turn my attention from Rhiannon walking out into the storm with a stony expression, all smiles gone.
Down in the ravine with Dylan.
I think Xaden sees the panic in my eyes and he steps forward a little closer to me so that our bodies are almost touching just like they were last night. “Hey, you're going to make it. Don’t look down, hands out to your side, crouch down low when the wind hits.” All great advice, all things that I’ve heard previously, but I seemed to have forgotten when Malek showed up to collect his souls. I nod to him rapidly and take in a deep breath swallowing down my anxious tears. I hear one of the other riders say “Riorson” in a harsh tone, but he doesn’t stop looking into my eyes as he replies “Fuck off” to the man. His eyes are so dark, I can almost see myself in them. I thought it was a trick of the soft lighting last night, but even outside, it’s as if they are pure onyx, with the exception of the small golden flecks throughout the irises. Something about them reassures me, which makes literally no sense because I don’t know him and he’s a fucking Riorson, I’m a fake Daxton, and this is insane, but I’m not going to think too hard on it until after I survive the day.
“I’m going to make it.” I repeat back his words nodding, “I won’t die today.” I tell him and myself with resolve that’s starting to strengthen my nerves. He just nods his head as if my answer was obvious, “Exactly, it’s not about being fearless, it’s about doing it anyway.” The rider that Xaden was ignoring is now motioning me forward, but I can’t make my limbs move as I stare at him when he turns away. What he just said, those exact words. I’ve heard them before, when I was a child, too scared to do anything because of my condition. It’s a sign, it’s fate, it’s— my thoughts are cut off as I feel a shove from behind and I lurch forward into Xaden. Without thinking I whip out my dagger, turn around, and hold it to the balls of the fucking blonde asshole that won’t stay away from me. “Next time you touch me I'll take your dick asshole.” I spit at him and he steps back quickly.
I sheath my dagger and step forward again, all thoughts of being anxious forgotten as adrenaline runs through me. I almost forgot how ready I was for this. How much I fucking want this. “See? Meant to me a rider” Xaden says with amusement as I look all up to the archway and put the tips of my boots out onto the parapet. I will not die today.
Right before I step out into the rain and wind I feel a body lean forward into my back and his scent that I apparently memorized last night wafts into me. “See you on the other side. Remember, I’m still planning on breaking my rules for you Daxton.”