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Buck had lost-- he was sure of this now. His resolve only lasted a few weeks before his exterior began to crack; he was never a very good actor. He couldn’t keep up the greetings and the asking questions and the easy stroll. He let his shoulders creep up to his ears, let his foot tap incessantly. He did what his Captain told him, but stopped asking for anything more. Stopped following the conversation in the back of the engine on the way to the call; he just stared out the window, thinking about the case to come, preparing for it. When he woke every morning, there was no big recovery milestone to strive for, no big fight for the soul of his career to win. Not even the happy swell of being back on shift -- something so easy to dismiss, that had dominated so much of his life, that he had taken for granted-- that had catalyzed him each morning of his first week back.
An old habit of his had returned. A bad habit.~~
or: after the lawsuit, buck confronts what it was he wanted all along. he looks and looks and longs for it; the team looks right through him. buck breaks-- right down the middle.
Series
- Part 1 of Lighthouse Universe
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